Mysterious Meat Cloud Will Not Be Kept Out of The New York Times Newsroom

The New York Times

Ground (beef) zero (Photo credit: Amanda Cohen)

The forecast for the New York Times is currently cloudy with a chance of meat smells.

The Newspaper Guild of New York brought to light yesterday the mysterious “meat cloud” currently plaguing the Grey Lady’s business reporters. The cloud, which reportedly is just a meat odor permeating the second floor of the Times building, is causing “burning eyes and breathing issues.”

“This odor is an issue, one that seems to occur seasonally at around this same time each year,” New York Times spokesperson Eileen Murphy told the Daily Intelligencer.

But word from the meat front is not all doom and gloom. A test of the air by industrial hygienists confirmed that despite the side effects the air contains “no carcinogens, carbon monoxide or other harmful elements.”

Still, the odor is persistent. It began its reign of terror months ago, and reportedly refuses to be stopped. According to the Guild, sealing the Times‘ windows, where the smell is strongest, has been discussed as a solution.

Seal the windows if you must, Times. The cloud already has a Twitter. At this point just accept your meat cloud overlord and start discussing appropriate sacrifices.