Christie’s forthcoming sale, “If I Live I’ll See You Tuesday,” which opens Monday and according to the auction house “encapsulates the gritty, underbelly-esque side of contemporary art,” now has a video preview, featuring professional skateboarder Christopher Martin, who encapsulates the gritty, underbelly-esque side of contemporary sports, gliding through Christie’s storage.
Look! There he goes, right past one of Richard Prince’s cowboys! And there! High-fiving the delivery guy! ON A SKATEBOARD. Behold a totally tubular, uh, flip of said skateboard (I don’t get paid enough to look up official skateboarding lingo) as he eases past a hilariously unsmiling Christie’s specialist, leaping over a stack of rugs, which are rolled up, and are presumably not included in this sale of contemporary art, though they undoubtedly encapsulate the gritty, underbelly-esque side of rugs. Huzzah! And there’s Loic Gouzer, who organized the sale, encapsulates the gritty, underbelly-esque side of auction house employees and appears in the video reading the auction’s catalogue. Talk about a gritty underbelly! The whole thing is set to the tune of “Sail” by Awolnation (sample lyric that encapsulates the gritty, underbelly-esque side of contemporary music: “This is how an angel cries”).
I made it 1 minute and 29 seconds into this video before I had to turn it off and wonder what exactly it is that I’m doing with my life and whether there’s any actual objective purpose to being alive. How long can you make it?