Two-Way Picnic Table Bibs and Nine Other Dumb Gadgets the Internet Cared About This Year

Please hold while we make sure these aren't satirical articles

  • Yesterday, we stumbled across an article describing the two-way picnic table bib: a bizarre portable table that two diners can suspend between their necks.

    Yes, weird gadgets like this exist — inventions that fall under the category of “most likely useless,” “this is actually making things more complicated,” and “please make it stop.”

    For your amusement, we’ve compiled a list of some of the dumbest gadgets introduced or reported on so far in 2014.

    At least yesterday’s news of Google’s self-driving cars gives us hope for the future.

     

     

     

  • Everyone likes a nice chilled beer. But this is the 21st century, and refrigerators are soooo yesterday. Now, if you want to crack open a cold one, we recommend you go outside and grab it from beneath the dirt. After all, the eCool underground beer cooler only costs $349 (Facebook).

    Everyone likes a nice chilled beer. But this is the 21st century, and refrigerators are soooo yesterday. Now, if you want to crack open a cold one, we recommend you go outside and grab it from beneath the dirt. After all, the eCool underground beer cooler only costs $349 (Facebook).

  • You know what's annoying? Having to drink water. Okay, so failing to stay hydrated throughout your day is understandable. But we're left wondering: if you're too busy to actually drink water, are you going to have time to stare at a water bottle and wait for a little red "hourly hydration alert" flag to pop up? (Screengrab: YouTube).

    You know what's annoying? Having to drink water. Okay, so failing to stay hydrated throughout your day is understandable. But we're left wondering: if you're too busy to actually drink water, are you going to have time to stare at a water bottle cap and wait for a little red "hourly hydration alert" flag to pop up? (Screengrab: YouTube).

  • Caution: this first invention is only recommended for the fanciest of dates. If you're taking your SO out on a picnic, leave, I repeat LEAVE, your picnic blanket at home. And don't you dare consider sitting at a table meant for picnicking either. Do, however, use this two-person bib. The accumulating crumbs are sure to spark wonderful conversation (Screengrab: YouTube).

    Caution: this invention is only recommended for the fanciest of dates. If you're taking your SO out on a picnic, leave, I repeat LEAVE, your picnic blanket at home. And don't you dare consider sitting at a table meant for picnicking either. Do, however, use this two-person bib. The accumulating crumbs are sure to spark wonderful conversation (Screengrab: YouTube).

  • For when you're finding the video chat experience sub par, there's the iTOi Booth. This contraption goes over your iPad and uses a patented optical system full of lenses, mirrors and only 25% of your iPad screen to improve your eye contact while video chatting. The level to which this is unnecessary isn't even funny (Screengrab: YouTube).

    For when you're finding the video chat experience sub par, there's the iTOi Booth. This contraption goes over your iPad and uses a patented optical system full of lenses, mirrors and only 25% of your iPad screen to improve your eye contact while video chatting. The level to which this is unnecessary isn't even funny (Screengrab: YouTube).

  • They put an iPad holder on a toilet paper roll stand AND they're advertising it with this throne. Enough said (Screengrab: YouTube).

    They put an iPad holder on a toilet paper roll stand AND they're advertising it with this throne. Enough said (Screengrab: YouTube).

  • They call it the "2-in-1 iPotty with Activity Seat for iPad." The consequences of this are frightening (Screengrab: YouTube).

    They call it the "2-in-1 iPotty with Activity Seat for iPad." The consequences of this are frightening (Screengrab: YouTube).

  • Do you suffer from...pale feet? (Gasp). If you're committed to eradicating what is hopefully your biggest personal problem, Solafeet is here to help. Just please refrain from bringing it into the office (Screengrab: YouTube).

    Do you suffer from...pale feet? (Gasp). If you're committed to eradicating what is hopefully your biggest personal problem, Solafeet is here to help. Just please refrain from bringing it into the office (Screengrab: YouTube).

  • Technology is supposed to make our everyday lives easier, right? So why did someone invent a Bluetooth toothbrush? This concept is taking one of THE simplest chores known to man, throwing in inevitable wireless glitches, and making us hate mornings even more (Screengrab: YouTube).

    Technology is supposed to make our everyday lives easier, right? So why did someone invent a Bluetooth toothbrush? This concept is taking one of THE simplest chores known to man, throwing in inevitable wireless glitches, and making us hate mornings even more (Screengrab: YouTube).

  • You'll never loose this remote in the couch cushions.. because it is one. We see what you did there, but we still don't want one (Screengrab: YouTube).

    You'll never loose this remote in the couch cushions because it is one. We see what you did there, but we still don't want one (Screengrab: YouTube).

  • How does a GPS-enabled jacket work, you might ask. Well, the white LED stripes light up as you approach a turn, and then either the right or left sleeve vibrates to indicate the direction you should go. Hey, for a wearable TomTom, the jacket isn't as ugly as you'd expect (Screengrab: Vimeo).

    How does a GPS-enabled jacket work, you might ask. Well, the white LED stripes light up as you approach a turn, and then either the right or left sleeve vibrates to indicate the direction you should go. Hey, for a wearable TomTom, the jacket isn't as ugly as you'd expect. (Screengrab: Vimeo)

/Innovation

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