The two-family townhouse at 1030 Lorimer Street, in Greenpoint, is not an attractive one. We are sorry to have to report this, but there is no sugar coating it. In the much-maligned mode of the neighborhood, the house sports vinyl siding in a pastel yellow hue, and one of those hardtop entry awnings, which, in all fairness, might be useful in a hailstorm. A small bib of concrete makes up the front yard, while an air conditioner protrudes from between second-story windows.
Nonetheless, Hazrat Alli listed his home last summer with Nestseekers brokers Maria Saccone and Kasian Bebenek for $2.1 million. Reader, he didn’t get it. Lena Dunham’s influence goes only so far. Fortunately for Mr. Alli, however, it goes, in this case, toward reeling in buyers to the tune of $1.7 million, according to city records.
Ran Harnevo, who bought the house with companion Yfat Neev, is currently president of video at AOL, but in a former life—or at least from 2005 until 2006—Mr. Harnevo “managed a large scale UAV (unmanned air vehicle)” operation (Read: drones) in Angola and Tel Aviv. What, exactly, said operation concerned, we may just rather not know. But perhaps, like his drones, Mr. Harnevo is blessed with an unusual and advantageous viewpoint. That is, perhaps he sees something that we cannot. (Though we can’t imagine that his vision does not include a gut renovation.)
To its credit, the home has French doors and hardwood floors that look more or less new. There is a grassy backyard and potential for rental income courtesy of a first-floor unit distinct from the duplex above. Beaded chandeliers can be removed and bold blue carpeting torn up. The soft purple paint that currently adorns a bedroom can be slathered under a more aesthetically-pleasing shade. And as the listing emphasizes at length, there are plenty of nearby escapes. (So that‘s what “location, location, location” is all about!) There’s Bedford Avenue, McCarren Park and Pool and, somewhat less encouraging, the L and G subway lines.
If all else fails, there’s always amphibious flight. Lorimer Street, after all, is “a perfect spot” from which to reach the East River ferry.