Speculation! The Most Likely Reasons ‘I Wanna Marry Harry’ Was Cancelled

Because we just can't figure it out

If you want to find out which desperate devoted girl ends up with the fake Prince Harry on ‘I Wanna Marry Harry,’ Fox has some bad news for you. The reality show has been yanked from the network’s Tuesday night line-up, most likely concluded on the internet or something.

I think I speak for everyone when I say did not see that one coming. For the uneducated, I Wanna Marry Harry is (was, sigh) a reality dating show where women vie for the affections of a dude that looks a lot like England’s Prince Harry. But, and this is where it gets good, he isn’t England’s Prince Harry, you guys.

Genius. Pure, unadulterated genius.

Because I can’t for the life of me think of one single reason why Fox would pull this off the air, I’ve thought of a whole bunch of plausible reasons. I think it might help with the recovery process.

  • The most plausible reason, I think, is that the pure drama from scenes like this one literally caused a viewer’s head to explode. That’s horrible PR.
  • According to Fox, the empty black hole on Tuesday nights will be filled with Family Guy re-runs. I think Seth MacFarlane is behind this. He probably needs more money to finance another movie starring, directed by, produced by, assistant directed by, catered by and only watched by Seth MacFarlane.
  • I Wanna Marry Harry was backed by Ryan Seacrest Productions. I believe there is a definite chance that someone in the know discovered that Ryan Seacrest is, in fact, a robot with only one facial setting. I would decide to pull the show instead of face that media firestorm, too. (Editor’s Note: But Mixology was sooooo good! Oh, wait, ABC canceled that, too.)
  • What many people have been telling me, and I still don’t know if I buy it, is that, and I quote, “It was a really, really shitty show” and “Possibly the stupidest idea in the history of television.” I don’t know if that’s believable though.