Do you like sporadic Boston accents and repressed memories? Of course you do, because you’re reading a recap of the Ray Donovan season two premiere. Season two opens at the same place where season one left off: Ray relaxing in a chaise lounge on the beach after a long day of fixing, his shirt covered in blood. All the sudden dirt lands on Ray. It appears that he’s being buried in a deep grave. Ray wakes up in his bed next to his wife, Abby. The stress of being buried alive causes Ray to violently borderline rape Abby. He rolls over to possibly embrace her and then shoves her onto her side and takes her from behind while angrily grunting. Abby is emotionless, making noises that you wouldn’t associate with pleasure. Ray finishes quickly and rolls back over to his side of the bed.
Cut to Mickey (Ray’s dad) emerging from a shack on a tropical beach, tequila bottle in one hand and cigarette, maybe a joint, in the other. There is a women on a bed in the shack. Mickey tells the women that he’s going to go for a swim. She calls out to him with a Mexican accent not to go because they’ve had too much to drink. You know Mickey isn’t the type of dude to not swim because he’s been drinking so he goes out into the water and swims. In the ocean Mickey runs into a talking dolphin with a woman’s voice who knows his name and welcomes him to Mexico. So we have dream sequence #2. The dolphin also tells Mickey, “You’re not a sailor. You’re a captain.” (Ed. note: Wait, is this show just Eastbound and Down for Red Sox fans?) The dolphin asks Mickey to swim out further. Suddenly, Linda appears in the water; she had sex with Mickey and was killed by Sully last season. Linda tells Mickey that she’s in a dark place and Mickey put her there. Does Linda really think that Mickey will take responsibility for something because she visited him from the dead in a dream after a dolphin just called him a captain? “It wasn’t me. It was Sully.” Master of the deflect even in his subconscious, Mickey isn’t getting guilt tripped from a dead woman he didn’t even shoot. Linda goes under water and disappears as she tells Mickey “I’m so lonely.” Mickey looks spooked as he finds himself dolphinless in the middle of the ocean.
The Donovan kids are bickering at the breakfast table over Conor playing Marvin Gaye Washington’s music video and showing Bridgett it has 8 million hits. Marvin was Bridgett’s sort-of boyfriend. She doesn’t want to be reminded of him, but Conor is a little obsessed with MGW and keeps watching the video. Abby tells the kids they need to take the bus because she and Ray have something to do. Ray sees a news story about Sully and tells Abby that he’ll meet her after he drops off the kids. Abby questions if Ray will have time but he assures her that he’ll be there. As they walk out Ray hand the car keys to Bridgette and says, “Shh.”
In the car, Bridgette asks Ray where he has to go with Mom. Ray reveals that they are going to therapy but says everything is fine. Conor is watching the Marvin Gaye Washington rap video again and is now singing along to it. When Conor sings the n-word along with MGW, Ray tells him to shut up.
Ray got to the therapist’s office like he said he would. Yes, the therapist is played by the same actor that portrayed Data in Star Trek: The Next Generation but let the man move on with his career. This therapy session is not only helpful for Ray and Abby to talk out their differences; it also gets everyone caught up on season one if they didn’t see it. The therapist is concerned about the children and asks Ray to agree to no more violence around the kids. Ray says that of course he loves his family and then immediately leaves when his phone buzzes. Abby and the therapist talk about how Ray’s hype-sexuality. Abby asks, “Is it possible he just likes to f*ck?” Ray and Abby are doing it (like doing it doing it) twice a day. OK, so Abby doesn’t want to talk about sex or Ray being molested as a child. What a nosey therapist. Just hear the plot points from last season and mind your own business.
The FBI just can’t keep it together. Ray is driving when his phone rings. It’s Frank, the FED, calling Ray to tell him they’re f*cked. You’re going to tell Ray Donovan that he’s f*cked and think he’s not going to come into your office in a federal building whether or not you like it? Damn right he is. Ray walks right into Frank’s office and finds out that ballistics came back tying Ray to the shooting on the dock where Sully was killed. The director is onto them. Not only the director, the man is in line to take over the bureau. You don’t mess with a guy like this…unless you’re Ray Donovan. Frank is worried, “How are we going to keep our stories straight?” “We’re not,” Ray answers as he walks right in to the director’s office. There’s an assistant who tries to stop Ray by saying, “Can I help you?” The “can I help you” doesn’t ever stop Ray Donovan from his mission. Ray introduces himself to Assistant Director James Cochran who is very familiar with Ray and not a fan. All-around-piece-of-shit is the key phrase Cochran uses to describe Ray. Cochran was about to give medals to Frank and Volcheck at a press conference until he got the ballistics report that didn’t match up to the story. When Cochran asks him what happened and why he was there Ray answers with “You don’t want to know.” Jedi mind tricks should get the FBI off of Ray’s back. Nope, the force is strong in Cochran. Ray tries the honesty approach, and tells him Cochran he hired Sully to kill his father and then Mickey shot Sully. Well played, Ray. You’re not getting arrested for some reason but now Cochran wants to get the story from your old man. Ray tries to dodge the request. Cochran calls out that Ray doesn’t know where his father is. “F*ck you.” And scene.
Terry is helping work out a boxer in the ring. I guess it’s called punching practice? Terry gets distracted and hit in the mouth so he goes up to the office to do the important business of calling Frances and hanging up after he hears her voice. Always important to wait for the second hello so they know it’s a creepy call. Ray comes in asking about where Mickey is. Terry knows he’s in Mexico but doesn’t know where. Bunchy walks in looking for approval on his outfit of short sleeve button down, tie and jean shorts. Unfortunately Bunchy does not own long pants. Ray assures him that he looks fine and asks where Mickey is. He doesn’t know. Guess Ray will have to try Daryl. Ray calls his half-brother Daryl who is driving in what appears to be a remote area. Daryl calls Ray a Magnum PI muf*cker and hangs up. Finding Mickey is not going to be easy and now Ray has his day job bugging him. Deonte from Season 1 calls because he’s got himself into trouble again.
Conor is trying to impress a young lady at school by showing her Marvin Gaye Washington’s video and telling her about how he’s over at his house all the time. Another kid sitting on the steps calls bullshit and says Conor is always claiming to know famous people. Pretty uncommon among rich people in Los Angeles I guess. This kid then knocks Conor’s phone out of his hand. Conor snaps and pushes the kid down a flight of stairs — maybe because Conor has been exposed to so much violence or maybe because the kid deserved to get pushed down a flight of stairs. Either way that 20 second scene was as satisfying as watching the entire Karate Kid movie.
Time to clean up the mess at Deonte’s. This time his wife came home while he was having sex with an American Idol contestant. Come on, Deonte you’re a star athlete, you’re supposed to be a role model. Ray shows up to the house and Deonte’s kids are sitting silently in the living room while we hear Mrs. Frasier yelling at American Idol in the bedroom. The bedroom door is locked. Deonte assures Ray there are no guns in the room. Cue: gunshot. Ray kicks in the door and sees that Deonte’s wife has shot at American Idol, grazing her arm. This is nothing Ray Donovan can’t fix. He gets the gun out from Deonte’s wife and takes American Idol out of there in his car. She’s crying about not being able to perform as Ray throws her wallet out of the window. The phone rings and Ray tells Idol to keep her mouth shut while he answers on speakerphone. It’s Conor’s principal being all principal like. “You need to come here right away.” GFY, principal dickwad. You have any idea who you’re talking to? A badass and committed family man who’s going to dump the shot-chick off and get to his son’s school. Idol gets dropped off in a park where Ray takes Deonte’s wife’s gun and fires it at a tree and tells Idol that her new story is she was mugged by a big guy and she didn’t see his face. Lena comes out of nowhere and calls 911 for an ambulance while Ray takes off to handle this school problem. Lena tells Idol that she’s a great singer and could win the competition but if she doesn’t stick to the story she’s going to get shot again.
Mickey is hanging in a beachside bar in Mexico with a pretty younger woman when Daryl shows up. Daryl is going to fight in a boxing match that Mickey set up. As soon a Daryl sits down Mickey hits him up for some rent and hooker money.
Bunchy is at a support group meeting for sexual abuse victims. He reveals that he’s glad he has his father and his pornography out of his house and that he has a job interview at a bike shop. Everyone applauds his honesty. A guy named Stan approaches Bunchy after the meeting saying he’s new to the meetings. Stan asks Bunchy to go for a bite to eat. It seemed like maybe Stan was looking for a date. Bunchy turns him down for the big bike shop interview but Stan will pop up again probably. The bike store interview seems to go well. The manager was impressed that Bunchy’s last employer was the Boston Globe until he found out that he was just delivering it. Did he think an investigative journalist was looking to make a move into bike repair? Just give him the job.
Now Ray has to deal with the principal. Of course the uptight principal is all “You can’t push people down a flight of stairs even when they really deserve it.” Conor gets suspended for five days. Ray tells Conor he has to apologize to the kid he pushed so they don’t get sued. Can’t Ray hang this kid’s dad off a balcony and make it all better? Guess Ray has to be off the clock sometimes.
Mexican boxing looks like fun. Daryl enters the ring to boos. The other boxer, Miguel “La Fuerza” Montago, enters the ring with music playing, roman candles flaming up and wild applause from the crowd. Miguel is also massive. Mickey tries to convince Daryl that he can take him but he immediately is destroyed. Daryl’s face is a bloody mess and his vision is blurry while he’s getting counted out but he can see Mickey getting paid off from betting against him. It does sort of beg the question: who takes bets from the trainer of the boxer they are betting against? Whoever they are they are in a big rush to pay Mickey while he’s still ringside.
The FBI wants to pressure Ray into finding Mickey for them so Cochran questions Ray’s employer/lawyer Ezra at his office. When Ray shows up, Cochran tells him he has 24 hours to find his father. Think he’s messing around? Bridget and her friend get pulled over by the cops for no real reason. They plant an ounce of marijuana in Bridget’s backpack. The cops call Ray to say they found marijuana in and they’ll let her off with a warning. Ray tells the cop to let Cochran know that he got his message.
Now Ray really needs to find Mickey and he thinks Terry knows where he is. Where to find Terry? Looking in Abby’s window while she sets her dinner table and drinking a bottle of liquor out of a bag. He’s almost over her I think. Bad place to question him about where their dad is. Ray tells Terry he needs to know or he’s finished.
Mickey is having a great time at the bar on the money he made off the fight. He even treats himself to the electric shock machine. They know how to party in Mexico. A beaten up Daryl is watching Mick buying everyone drinks and confronts him. Mickey tries to give Daryl money but it’s too late. He feels betrayed. Ray is already on his way to the town he knows Mickey is staying in, Rosarito, when Daryl calls and tells him exactly where is, Lucy’s Bar.
American Idol‘s on and Tiffany (so that’s her name) comes on stage in a wheelchair with her arm in a sling and is introduced as a hero. Her performance of “My Heart Will Go On” is uplifting.
Mickey is dancing to “La Bamba” with his lady at Lucy’s. He asks her what the words mean. She tells him “I’m not a sailor. I’m a captain.” Whoa, that’s creepy. Just like the dolphin said. This must all mean something. He better figure it out because Ray is coming for him.
Ray walks into Lucy’s and Mickey’s happy to see him for about ten seconds until Ray tells him that he’s got to go back with him. Mickey refuses, claiming he’s the captain. The whole bar repeats that Mick is the captain. That’s a very convincing dolphin. Mickey doesn’t want to go and the people in the bar don’t want to let him go. Ray plays a song on the jukebox and goes out to his car. He calls Cochran and says “I got him,” takes off his shirt, grabs a baseball bat and heads back into Lucy’s to get Mickey. We’ll find out next week who the captain is. My money is on the dolphin.