‘Ray Donovan’ 2×2 Recap: ‘Uber Ray’

Why I oughta! Liev Schreiber acting in Ray Donovan.

“Why I oughta!” Liev Schreiber acting in Ray Donovan. (Showtime)

Last Sunday Ray went walking into Lucy’s shirtless, baseball bat in hand, ready to do some damage to the thugs and bring Mickey back to the FBI. Cannot wait to see that cliffhanger finally payoff. Is Ray going to kill someone? Maybe Ray will get put in a coma and the show will become Mickey’s Boys, a fun comedy about the boxing gym. Anything can happen. It’ll probably be bloody. Be prepared for some brutal violence. Shh, be quiet. The scenes from last week are ending annnnd…Mickey and Ray are in the car driving back from Mexico. Does this mean we don’t get to see even a little bit of the fight? Ray doesn’t look like he got bloodied up at all. Who chooses to show the ride home from a fight instead of the fight? Am I watching TV in Europe for God’s sake?

OK, I’m a professional and I can rise above personal disappointment. Let’s get back to the recap. So, Ray and Mickey are in the car driving back from Mexico because Cochran, LA FBI Director, wants to hear it from straight from Mickey that he’s the one who shot Sully. Mickey is knocked out in the passenger seat and handcuffed to the door. Maybe Mickey took that Louisville Slugger to the head. Oh that’s right, we’ll never know. Sorry, back on track. Mickey comes to and realizes he’s handcuffed and going back to the USA with Ray. After looking up and seeing the big dipper Mickey says, “A lot of f*cking stars, huh?” Mickey then tells a story about the only summer he wasn’t in jail, when the family went on a vacation; some lobsters were bought, li’l Ray threw them back in the ocean and mom made everyone bologna sandwiches. Mickey then says, “It wasn’t all bad Ray.” Yeah, Ray. None of the kids were even molested that day, probably. Always the contrarian, Ray has to point out that this was the same summer that Mickey started cheating on mom with Claudette. “That’s why you were born, Ray, to be my f*cking judge.”

Cochran is getting ready for the big press conference to announce how the FBI killed Sully. Avi is in the audience for some reason. Agent Frank Barnes asks Cochran if he wants Avi out of the room, but it’s cool. Cochran’s wife Holly, dressed like Jacqueline Kennedy, gives her man a kiss for good luck and it’s showtime.

Cut to Ray and Mick having a father and son roadside piss facing the Pacific ocean. Ray assures Mickey that if he just tells Cochran that he’ll keep his mouth shut about shooting Sully, he’s free to go back to Mexico. Sounds fishy to ‘ol Mick. Probably because it’s stupid. Why would the FBI have an LA Sheriff plant an ounce of weed on Ray’s daughter to threaten him into going to Mexico to bring back Mickey just so Cochran can hear a criminal make a promise? For a tough Hollywood fixer from the streets of Boston, Ray can be a real rube. Your dad might be dick, Ray, but he knows the score.

Hey look, it’s a dolphin. Mickey waves to the dolphin because he had a dream that one called him a captain. Maybe he doesn’t know the score after all. Ray asks Mickey what he’s waving at. “A friend. I had a spiritual awakening.”

Back to the press conference where Cochran announces the big lie about Sully, America’s most wanted really old Irish guy. All the reporters at the Boston Globe are watching the press conference because there’s no bigger story than what happened to old Sully Sullivan from Southie. All the reporters buy Cochran’s line of BS except for one Sully-expert who knows the story doesn’t add up. She rushes into the editor’s office and tells him how she needs follow up on this story in LA. She says the FBI is lying; there’s no way Sully was in Los Angeles for the past six months. Why would the FBI lie? The paper can’t afford to fly her out on a hunch. “Here’s the deal. You give me a day. I bring you something. You fly me out.” Whoa, who’s the boss, Angela? Maybe I should be more demanding at the workplace but I work at home and don’t like demands.

Ray takes Mickey to the the FBI office where Ray gets to just walk around like he’s James frigging Comey (real Director of the FBI). Mickey was right. He’s not going back to Mexico. Cochran puts Mickey on parole for five years to keep control of Mickey and protect the FBI’s lie. Cochran also threatens to lock Mick up in Leavenworth for life as a material witness to a crime if he doesn’t go along with the parole. And BTW Ray, if Mickey screws up, you’re going to jail with him. This is going to be a problem. We all know that Mickey is uncontrollable.

How do the rest of the Donovans feel about Mickey’s return? Let’s stop by the gym and find out. Ray takes Mickey to the gym to drop off his stuff before he goes to meet his parole officer.  Hey boys it’s your dad that none of you wanted to ever see again. Terry and Bunchy are watching Daryl train. Everyone is silent after Mickey surprises them with his return. “Say hi to your dad.” Bunchy breaks the tension by giving Mickey a hug. Time for a celebration drink. Mickey pulls out a bottle to celebrate and Ray has to remind him that Bunchy is sober. Mickey can’t remember which one of sons he can party with.

Ray’s at home talking to Frank on the phone, demanding the names and social security numbers of the parole officers in LA. “You’re an FBI agent. Figure it out.” After ordering around a federal agent like an intern, Ray’s feeling pretty powerful. Better throw the wife down on the bed and make her feel dirty. Abby tries to tell Ray that she doesn’t feel like be forcibly taken from behind. Too bad Ray thinks that means be more aggressive, you pansy. After Abby escalates the “What are you doing” to “Hold on Ray” to “No” to “No, no,” she slaps Ray across the face and says, “I can’t keep doing this. I feel raped.” Ray responds, “Raped? Are you f*cking kidding me?” and walks away.

Moments later Ray is in the shower and and Abby approaches to tell him that she’s talked to Dr Finkel about the aggressive sex. She tries to appeal to Ray’s practical side by telling him that her “pussy hurts” and she “can’t even walk some days.” There’s also the priest molesting him thing that they need to talk about. It’s all met with silence from Ray. Not sure about Ray but I was raised to believe when your partner’s genitals hurt due to your behavior it should be addressed ASAP.

That reporter from the Boston Globe is back and she’s at a nursing home talking to Sully’s mom. Sully’s mom is alive? The reporter’s name is Kate McPherson and she’s writing a book about Sully. Kate asks about Sully’s girlfriend Catherine. The only info she gets is that Sully’s mom is a racist with a potty mouth and blames Mickey for Sully’s death. Kate doesn’t really know how to respond when the old lady drops the n-word but she’s in a Boston nursing home. You have to hear that word a lot in there.

Ray is still at home in his bedroom. He calls Lena and tells her he needs info on Cochran. While he’s walking out of the room he notices some real estate information about a house sitting on the nightstand and he grabs it.

Conor is home suspended from school and gets a call from grandpa Mickey while he’s waiting for his parole officer. After Mickey hears that Conor pushed a kid from behind down some stairs he’s concerned and wants to talk about it. Mickey tells Conor that he’ll be at the gym. The conversation gets cut off when Mickey’s parole officer calls his name. The parole officer is a woman whom Mickey calls sweetheart.

There’s that house Ray saw the real estate listing for! Ray pulls up in his car. As soon as Ray gets out of his car Ezra calls and tells Ray he needs to come over right away because “It’s all happening.”

When Ray gets to Ezra’s office he see’s Deb, Abby’s friend, who’s now in charge of funding the cancer center. Ray asks Deb about that house, and she says that she showed Abby the house and she fell in love with it. Ezra is panicking about pledges for the cancer center not being honored. June Wilson pledged 5 million and isn’t paying up. Ray tries to talk Ezra into leaving June Wilson alone but he’s obsessed with the cancer center and insists he needs the money.

If you’re going to be married to Ray Donovan you’re going to need yoga to center yourself and stay flexible. Abby’s class is finished but she remains lying there, eyes closed, on her yoga mat. The instructor says goodbye to the the rest of the class and goes over to check on Abby. After a brief, spiritual, yoga-type flirtation, “Do you see me?” Abby starts seriously making out with her instructor and he is way into it. After a minute Abby runs out of the room.

Ray stops by his office. Lena has found out that Cochran is on the short list to take over the FBI. Avi has gotten credit reports for all the parole officers. Ray quickly picks a report and tells Avi, “That’s the guy. Find him.”

Terry’s sort of ex-girlfriend who’s also married with a family, Frances, is waiting to talk to Ray in his office. She’s concerned because Terry is following her. She thinks it’s Ray threatening her because she saw him commit murder. Nah, Terry’s just a stalker with conflicted feelings about being with a married woman. Ray assures Frances that her family is safe. Frances is relieved for a moment until she walks outside and Terry is following her asking, “Why won’t you talk to me?” She yells, “Leave me the f*ck alone” and takes off. Terry runs up to Ray’s office, blames him for scaring off Frances and punches Ray in the face. Ray throws Terry up against the wall. Terry is telling Ray, “Fight me.” Ray refuses and explains to Terry that he can’t have a relationship with a woman who has seen him kill a priest and is married. That priest really messes up everything.

Kate has tracked down the mother of Sully’s girlfriend, Catherine. She tells Kate that she talked to her daughter a month ago. Catherine and Sully were in New Mexico about to go to California. Kate takes a pic on her phone of a recent picture of Catherine with her dog, Baby. We then see that same dog licking a liquor bottle while sitting in the lap of a passed out Frank. How did he end up with Baby?

Mickey is showing his parole officer around the gym when Conor shows up for some advice and Uber product placement. “How’d you get here?” “I took Uber.”

Cut to some Agent Provocateur advertising. Abby bought some spicy lingerie there and we see the logo on the box take up the full screen a couple of times. Maybe some fancy underwear will make Ray not have sex with her like he just got out of prison.

Ray is at a casino. Avi walks up to him and says the words, “He’s down 10k.” Avi points to a guy at the bar and says “He’s the large black man.” It would have been easier if he just said the guy that looks exactly like Bunk from The Wire. Ray sits next to Bunk’s doppelgänger at the bar. He doesn’t feel like talking but after Ray buys a few drink he’s spilling his guts about how expensive his daughter’s wedding is and he can’t believe how much he messed up. When he’s at his lowest, Ray tips off not-Bunk that he knows he’s a parole officer and takes out a thick envelope and puts it on the bar.

Back to the gym where grandpa Mick is laying down some knowledge on stupid little Conor. First he teaches Conor that pushing a guy down the stairs from behind is a “bitch move.” “You do enough of those in the can, they’ll shank ya.” A few other things to remember from grandpa’s advice are “A good man feels bad when he’s done something wrong,” “Donovans don’t apologize” and “Tits, that’s for babies. When you get older it’s all about ass.” If you need more knowledge than that, you’re gonna have to find it on your own.

Ray talks the parole officer into doing some unspecified shady stuff with Mickey. He’s nervous but he’ll do it for enough cash to take care of his money problems and for the watch Ray is wearing. We don’t know what Ray’s up to yet but the parole officer said he could go to jail for what he’s going to do.

That lingerie that Abby bought is sexy but classy. She’s trying it on when she gets an Uber alert on her phone showing her that Conor went to the gym. Wow, the Uber iPhone app is very informative. Abby calls Ray to tell him Conor is at the Gym. They have a quick Uber commercial of a conversation and Ray says he’ll go get Conor.

Mickey and Conor are sparring in the ring when Ray walks. Conor doesn’t want to leave. Then Abby walks in. Oh great, now she knows that Mickey’s back in town. She grabs Conor and takes him outside. Abby tells Ray that if he keeps lying to her, they won’t be able to save their marriage. Ray didn’t even know it needed saving. Remember earlier today when your wife said she felt raped by you? That’s not a good thing.

Kate, the reporter, is back in her editor’s office. She’s got hard proof that the FBI is lying. An elderly woman told her that Sully was in New Mexico a month ago. The editor won’t send her to LA but Kate makes the rules and says she’s going anyway. This isn’t good for anybody.

Ray finds June Wilson at a fancy restaurant. She’s sitting with a younger man whom she sends outside to smoke as soon as she sees Ray. June knows that Ray is looking for Ezra’s money but can’t believe she pledged five million. “I’ll have to sell my art collection.” June starts to write a check. Ray must have a real problem with wealthy older women parting with their art collections because he rips up the check and tells June he’ll handle Ezra.

Lena has been tailing Cochran and she’s followed him to a bar near the airport. Only dirty things happen near the airport. I know, I’ve been there doing them. Now Ray will have something to blackmail Cochran with and his FBI problem will gone. Cochran’s wearing a leather vest. This is going to be good. Ah, he’s just in a cover band.

Ray is driving and calls Abby telling her to meet him somewhere. She’s distraught. “I don’t know what’s what anymore.” Ray counters with, “Come on.” Hard to argue against that. Guess Abby’s going.

Mickey is about to go to sleep on his cot in the gym when the parole officer that Ray bought shows up. “We’re closed,” Mickey tells him. He introduces himself as Ronald Keith, Mickey’s new parole officer. There’s new rules now. Mickey can’t be at the gym because there could be gambling there, a parole rule. Keith takes Mick to a dirty, tiny, one-room apartment. He better get to sleep because Mickey also has a new job Keith just told him about and he needs to be there at 5am or he’s getting a parole violation. Mickey is going to be on tight leash now.

Lena watches Cochran’s band play Bob Seger’s “Night Moves.” Cochran’s the front man and the airport motel bar is rocking. There’s got to be some dirt on that Cochran.

We see that Abby did end up meeting Ray where he wanted her to. He texted her the address to the house she fell in love with because he bought it. Remember that marriage that needed saving? It’s saved. Abby takes off her clothes to reveal her new lingerie and she goes down him. Is that what “Night Moves” is about? The lyrics don’t really make much sense.