A Guide to Planning Prince George’s Royal Birthday Party

The adorable, possibly-tyrannical prince turns 2 tomorrow.

Follow the guide carefully. This guy is hard to please.  (Photo: Matt Dunham - WPA Pool/Getty Images)

Follow the guide carefully. This guy is hard to please. (Photo: Matt Dunham – WPA Pool/Getty Images)

Tomorrow, the United Kingdom—nay, the entire Milky Way galaxy—will celebrate its most important holiday: the second birthday of His Majesty Prince George, adorable progeny of Prince William and the Duchess of Cambridge, Kate Middleton.

While most of us will spend this most holy of days obsessively clicking through one amazing Prince George photo after the next, imagine being tasked with the daunting task of throwing a party for said soon-to-be-two-years-old prince. How might one satisfy the no doubt exacting demands of Prince George, who, despite being cute, is also rumored to be one of the most tyrannical royals in all the land?

For anyone facing this hugely important assignment, we’ve scoured photos of young George to determine what, exactly, will make for the most rollicking good time.

1. Have a nanny—or seven—on-hand.

Toddlers in fancy clothing—particularly Prince George—are always prone to rowdiness. Definitely have trained nannies on-hand—ideally the legendary Norland Nannies—to keep things from getting too out-of-control.

For proof, please observe what happened when Prince George’s nanny was busy attending to Princess Charlotte:

Madness. Pure madness. (Photos: Getty)

Madness. Pure madness. (Photos: Getty)

2. Invite Princess Charlotte.

Forget “No Girls Allowed”; Prince George seems to be quite taken with his new baby sister.

Case in point. (Photo: Matt Dunham - WPA Pool/Getty Images)

Case in point. (Photo: Matt Dunham – WPA Pool/Getty Images)

Case in point, again. (Photo: HRH The Duchess of Cambridge via Getty Images)

Case in point, again. (Photo: HRH The Duchess of Cambridge via Getty Images)

3. Incorporate an outdoor activity.

It isn’t often that Prince George looks joyful or completely carefree. But he broke his frowny facade in June, when he played with mum Kate Middleton in the grass:

So uncharacteristically happy!  (Photo: Chris Jackson/Getty Images)

So uncharacteristically happy! (Photo: Chris Jackson/Getty Images)

Perhaps even try incorporating a sport. Prince George, it would seem, is a big fan of polo:

2-year-olds can totally ride horses and wield giant mallets, right?  (Photo: Chris Jackson/Getty Images)

2-year-olds can totally ride horses and wield giant mallets, right? (Photo: Chris Jackson/Getty Images)

4. Invite lots of animals.

Prince George loves animals—as evidenced by that one time he appeared interested in a butterfly resting on dad Prince William’s hand. A petting zoo is probably in order—or at least a visit from the Queen’s army of corgis.

Prince George definitely loves animals. (Photo: AFP PHOTO/John Stillwell/POOL EDITORIAL USE ONLY        (Photo credit should read JOHN STILLWELL/AFP/Getty Images)

Prince George definitely loves animals. (Photo: AFP PHOTO/John Stillwell/POOL
EDITORIAL USE ONLY (Photo credit should read JOHN STILLWELL/AFP/Getty Images)

5. Do not make the dress code “pink overalls only.”

Trust us—it won’t go well.

There will be tears.  (Photos: Chris Jackson/Getty Images for La Martina)

There will be tears. (Photos: Chris Jackson/Getty Images for La Martina)

6. Consider having him enter via private jet.

Nothing looks cooler than showing up at your own birthday party via private jet. Also, Prince George is totally accustomed to arriving places in style.

"I have arrived, party people."  (Photo: Chris Jackson/Getty Images)

“I have arrived, party people.” (Photo: Chris Jackson/Getty Images)

7. Do not use this painting as decoration.

Because it is terrifying.

It's apparently meant to be satire, but still. Terrifying. (Photo: LEON NEAL/AFP/Getty Images)

It’s apparently meant to be satire, but still. Terrifying. (Photo: LEON NEAL/AFP/Getty Images)

8. And finally, windows. Definitely do something with windows.

This picture says it all:

The kid loves windows. What more can we say? (Photo: Getty Images)

The kid loves windows. What more can we say? (Photo: Getty Images)

A Guide to Planning Prince George’s Royal Birthday Party