To Do This Week: See Nasty Canasta Read Dickens Naked

(Photo: General Photographic Agency/Getty Images)

Nude performers will read from Charles Dickens’ Christmas Carol. (Photo: General Photographic Agency/Getty Images)

WEDNESDAY December 16

Hosted by Nasty Canasta, the neo-burlesque performer, Naked Girls Reading is exactly what it sounds like. Now celebrating its seventh year, the holiday-themed nude literary event will take on Charles Dickens (what an appropriate name, for the context), with guests including Anja Keister, Aria Vines and Cecilia Roux. It’s an X-rated Christmas Carol, and God bless it. Under St. Marks Theater, 94 Saint Marks Place, 9-11 p.m., $25

THURSDAY December 17

Ah, Zarin! Where would we be without New York’s 79-year-old discount designer fabric store (the largest in the city)? Certainly not able to go to their holiday shopping party, which takes place today. Peruse piles upon piles, and probably miles upon miles, of sumptuous upholstery and drapes. Make a stocking or a suit out of couch materials (your Don Cherry-admiring uncle will love it). Zarin Fabrics, 69 Orchard Street, 6-8:30 p.m., RSVP to info@zarinfabrics.com

FRIDAY December 18

Had enough treacle for one holiday season? In the spirit of the late, great Christopher Hitchens—our favorite curmudgeon, who loathed Christmas with a passion—check out the cult horror film Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984), which features a murderous psychopath going around killing people in a Santa outfit. Nitehawk Cinema, 136 Metropolitan Avenue, 12:15 a.m., $11

SATURDAY December 19

The GimmeJoy holiday cocktail soirée may take place in a Lower East Side loft space called Poverty Row, but there is nothing derelict about it. Featuring seasonal drinks by a team of mixologists, a live jazz duo and a light show, the party has been organized by Secret Summer, Raft Affairs and The High Life Productions. The press release says the party will be “entwined with Seussian Christmas visuals,” which is reason enough to go. “Sexy reindeer” may also show up. Poverty Row, 277 Grand Street, 3rd floor, 9 p.m.-2 a.m., $100

SUNDAY December 20

Depending on our mood, Ella Fitzgerald’s 1949 rendition of “Baby, It’s Cold Outside,” with the singer-saxophonist Louis Jordan, is our favorite Christmas song. Sometimes, though, it’s Betty Carter and Ray Charles’s version of the same tune, or Vince Guaraldi’s “O Tannenbaum” or, if we’re feeling abstruse, Mike Patton singing “The Christmas Song” with John Zorn’s Dreamers. But in the spirit of Fitzgerald, who recorded two solid Christmas albums (she celebrates her centennial in 2017!), check out DIVA Jazz Orchestra at Dizzy’s Club Coca-Cola, playing a tribute to her 1960 record Ella Wishes You a Swinging Christmas. (Songs from that album: “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas,” a sublime “What Are You Doing New Year’s Eve?” and Irving Berlin’s “White Christmas.”) Featured vocalists will include, Camille Thurman, Christine Fawson and Sue Giles. Dizzy’s Club Coca-Cola, Broadway and 60th Street, 5th floor, sets at 7:30 p.m. and 9:30 p.m., $40

MONDAY December 21

No holiday experience—in New York, at least—is complete without a visit to Rockefeller Center to see the tree, ice skate or take in the “Radio City Christmas Spectacular,” which has been going strong since 1933. The Rockettes will be kicking through January 3. Radio City Music Hall, 1260 Avenue of the Americas, prices vary depending on seating, shows from 11 a.m.-7:30 p.m.

TUESDAY December 22

The Holiday Train Show at Grand Central is a yearly delight for kids and adults alike. Featuring replicas of the Metro-North, New York Central and the city’s subway trains, shrunken charmingly down to model size, it’s presented by the New York Transit Museum. The show runs through mid-February; it’s now celebrating its 14th year. Grand Central Terminal, 89 East 42nd Street, 8 a.m.-8 p.m., free

WEDNESDAY December 23

Hester Street has come a long way since its tenement days. Now, you can shop for things with the word “artisan” attached to them, and you don’t even need to be in the Lower East Side to do so. The open-air Hester Holiday Market, which ends today, features an assortment of 30 vendors like Karma Kiss, Reverence Apparel and Cuzin’s Donuts. Last minute holiday shoppers, rejoice! One Penn Plaza, between Seventh and Eighth Avenue, free

To Do This Week: See Nasty Canasta Read Dickens Naked