‘Real Housewives of Beverly Hills’ Recap 7×06: Emotional Toddlers and Latent Lesbians

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Bravo

This week’s episode resumes the tense lunch Eileen Davidson, Erika Girardi and Dorit Kemsley are having at Camille Grammer’s new house. Dorit is playing the victim, as per usual.

Eileen is trying to sort out the confusion with Dorit over what Lisa Rinna said about her mother’s death during Connecticut and PK’s dumb dinner party. Dorit says – apropos of nothing – that LVP has said nothing to her about the fight she had with Eileen and Rinna. As someone about a million times sharper than Dorit once said, “Beware the person answering the question nobody asked.”

Eileen says in her interview that she’s trying to remain open-minded, but it’s increasingly difficult. Dorit complains to the women that she’s being dragged into the middle of their dispute. False: She inserted herself. She also complains that it feels like everyone is always taking digs at her and she’s in the hot seat. False and false: She is always being a high school mean girl to everyone, and keeps doing things to ensure she remains the center of attention.

Eileen points out that Dorit is no shrinking violet – after all, she’s the one who brought the controversial panties to Erika. Connecticut thinks everyone is naïve enough to believe she was just trying to make light of it all. She adds that Rinna and Eileen have been very two-faced, pretending it was a cute idea beforehand then trying to make it a point of contention with Erika afterward. Again, Dorit either cannot tell the truth or cannot reconcile her fantasies with reality. Eileen point-blank asked her if she had taken up the matter with Erika rather than planning to make fun of her in front of everybody.

Eileen admits she’s confused by Dorit being so defensive. It’s not “ganging up” on Dorit just because both Kyle and Eileen could both see Erika was blindsided by the realization that everyone had been talking and laughing behind her back about her supposedly flashing PK. Erika reiterates this in her interview, saying bluntly: “Really? How do you think I feel right now, when the whole conversation is about me and my vadge?” Erika is visibly fed up and barely tolerating this lunch now. She tells Dorit that Eileen and Kyle were just being kind and protective. It’s hard to imagine Dorit having any idea what it is to be kind or protective. After all, this is the woman who turned her newborn baby over to a staff of nine surrogate mothers as soon as she was born.

Eileen puts us out of our misery, saying she needs to go. In her interview, she says this lunch just made everything worse instead of clarifying matters as she had hoped. Yeah, that’s how these shows work. She says it seems like Dorit has been obsessing about the entire situation since they spoke at the beach and has managed to transform Eileen into a villain in her own mind. No, Eileen: Dorit is just trying to deflect attention from how weird and nasty she and her husband are.

Kyle Richards is getting ready at her dressing table when her sister Kim Richards arrives with her hair in curlers. It’s Kim’s first appearance this season, and trouble can’t be far behind. They’re hosting a baby shower for Kim’s daughter Brooke at Kyle’s house and Kim is “so ready to be a grandma.” Kyle can’t handle the idea of her sister becoming a grandmother. Kim says in her interview that she’s in a good place, her relationships with her sisters are “amazing” and her recovery is “good.” She’s leaving the past behind her, she says. Which means she’ll be digging it back up by the end of this episode.

Kim tries on a cute party dress and Kyle notices the security tag is still on it. AWKWARD. Somehow, Kim knows that security tags just snap right off if you twist them the right way. Kyle is sort of speechless but laughs nervously. It’s hard not to feel for Kim in the circumstances – sales people leave security tags on all the time, and she has to be dying inside to be cast as suspicious so soon after being arrested for shoplifting last year. Kim says in her interview, “It’s mandatory for me to maintain my recovery. That will be the only way that I will be able to be a part of my children’s lives and my grandson’s life.” We don’t get to see the baby shower.

Rinna and Eden Sassoon meet for a snack. Eden brought Rinna a crystal that, according to the tag, will “clear toxic and emotional old pains which have instilled blockages in our energy.” Eden is easy to like, but the crystals are a bit much. Rinna says she’s enjoying getting to know her, because she is warm, open, and doesn’t judge. Rinna says it’s easy for conversation to go deep with Eden really quickly, having connected over losing their sisters and fathers. “We have a lot in common,” she says. Not really.

Rinna orders iced tea and Eden reassures her that she can have a cocktail if she wants. Eden reveals in her interview that she took her first drink at 15 and knew she was off to the races, but she is obviously sober now. Rinna says she feels lucky she didn’t get the substance abuse gene, especially since her sister did. Eden says that, like her late sister Catya, she did – and it makes her worry about her kids having drug and alcohol problems in the future. This is the first mention of Eden having kids.

Eden says she is doing great in life, but sometimes gets bitchy and tends to push everyone away. When Eden was born, her mother saw her as an inconvenience. She gave birth to her on a Friday and left baby Eden the same day to return to her social scene in the Hamptons. Rinna reassures her that being abandoned had nothing to do with infant Eden and it was all about her parents’ stuff. Eden probably knows that intellectually, but hearing it from Rinna makes her feel better.

Erika is checking out the sets for her new video, Expensive. Then she and Mikey do a wardrobe, hair and makeup strategy meeting. As awesome as Erika is, the video for Expensive seems like it’s going to look kinda cheap – well-made but with lots of rhinestones, glitter and Lucite. It’s her 10th video and Erika is rightfully proud of herself. “This is happening! And I’m making it happen. How ’bout that?”

It’s time for Kyle’s infamous game night, which is now being run by other people. Being a professional game night host is a career in a place where people have too much money and are afraid to get their hands dirty. We see a flashback of Brandi Glanville-instigated fights at past game nights. Kyle says, “This night is going to be different. We’re gonna have fun. We’re having sushi, drinks, great food, friends – and no Brandi Glanville!” As offensive as Brandi is, most of us would probably pay good money to see her interact with Dorit and PK.

Kyle doesn’t stand on ceremony: She starts eating before her guests arrive, helping herself to sushi by the pool. Kim is the first one there and she’s not exactly excited for game night, based on past experience. She’s even more anxious when she finds out she doesn’t get to pick her own teammates.

Another guest arrives and Kyle freaks out that it’s Lisa Rinna, who she doesn’t want to be the first one there. She says in her interview that Rinna and Kim are nice to each other in group situations, but she thinks they actually hate each other. Flashback to Kim and Rinna fighting in Amsterdam and at multiple reunions. Kyle “jokingly” says to Kim, “Can you, like, leave for a while?” But much to their relief, the guest is Erika. Kyle says, “Are you glad I’m not wearing a caftan?” YES.

Camille arrives with a white orchid for Kyle…which looks suspiciously like the white orchid Eileen brought to her lunch the other day. Eden shows up next and Kyle offers her a margarita. Eden says, very matter-of-factly and low-key, “I don’t drink.” Kyle is flustered and makes a show of yelling out, “Kim doesn’t drink!” Eden turns to Kim and Kim says, “I knew your sister.” They embrace and hold each other for a long time. Eden looks pained, being reminded of the loss of her sister Catya to a drug overdose. It’s an extremely moving moment, even though the scene is cut rather hastily.

Lisa Vanderpump and Dorit arrive together. LVP almost immediately asks Erika if she’s wearing underwear. In her interview, Erika observes that “some people just don’t want to let it go.” Yeah, welcome to reality TV.

Rinna and Eileen ride over to Kyle’s together in a limo. Eileen tells Rinna that she tried to broach the topic of Dorit and PK’s dinner party with Dorit and “it got weird.” Rinna is incredulous. We don’t get to hear what they discuss after that, but they are last to arrive and everyone has started eating without them. Kim ends up sitting across from her arch-nemesis Rinna, who says she didn’t know Kim was going to be there.

They exchange pleasantries and Kim says in her interview that she has a lot of unresolved feelings with Rinna. Rinna asks about her new grandchild and says she’s happy for her. With smiles and nervous laughter, Kim says, “I believe you.” One minute later, Kim thinks she sees Rinna rolling her eyes at Eileen and assumes it’s about her. She is hurt and offended. Whether or not Rinna was deriding Kim isn’t clear from the edit – we don’t even see her rolling her eyes. Even if it’s not Kim’s self-centeredness making her think she’s the constant topic of ridicule, it would have been encouraging to see her brush it off rather than take on unnecessary resentment.

Game night is more fun to watch than the dumb escape room, but that’s not saying much. LVP uses the puppet master/mannequin game as an opportunity to molest Rinna. Yawn. Dorit is clearly tipsy, making a remark about Kyle’s”sexual prowess” that you can imagine LVP or Dorit blowing up into a federal incident. She’s also lavishing Eden with compliments, fawning over her and gushing, “You are ADORABLE.” When Dorit is playing puppet master to Eden and mounts her to demonstrate yoga, Eden jokes, “She’s been waiting to do this to me all night!” The winning team ends up being Kyle, Eileen, Dorit and Eden. Kyle declares victory in her effort to have a successful game night with no fighting. And everyone who’s ever seen this show knows that the theatrics are about to start.

Dorit and Kyle are talking about Eden, whom Dorit says she “loves.” She calls Eden a “very sexy, butchy girl,” asking Kyle if she’s married or a lesbian. Kyle doesn’t know. Dorit admits she’s already built up an entire fantasy in her head about sex with Eden. In her interview, a presumably sober Dorit says Eden is so attractive that even a straight girl can fancy her. Well, Eden is pretty and very physically fit. She also seems to be a lovely, humble, genuinely nice person, which might be a whole new, mind-blowing concept to Dorit.

Sauntering over to the side of the pool where Eden is lounging, Dorit sits down and starts dropping very unsubtle hints about her 95-degree pool and how Eden should come over for nighttime skinny-dipping. She tells Eden point-blank that she has a very strong sex appeal and that during their yoga miming, she found herself “officially turned on.” Eden doesn’t seem too surprised by this, and is very gracious in accepting the praise. She correctly guesses that Dorit asked Kyle if she was gay, and shakes her head no. Dorit enthuses some more about Eden’s sex appeal, and LVP says, “You sound like the gay one.” Eden says in her interview that while she’s flattered, she’d sooner take Erika home before she’d take Dorit.

Meanwhile, Eileen and Kyle are hanging out a few feet away at the dining table. Eileen asks if everything’s okay with Dorit. She explains to Kyle that it turns out they both told Dorit they thought Erika was blindsided by the underwear presentation, but neither of them knew the other had said that. Kyle is shocked when Eileen tells her Dorit is feeling like “the girls” are picking on her. And she flat-out denies it when Eileen says Dorit told her and Rinna that Erika was flashing everybody during the incident PK totally fabricated in his creepy mind. Kyle says that is “1000% not true in any way, shape or form – no way.” Why did it take this long someone who was there to chime in and tell the truth?

Just then, Erika joins them and Kyle says Dorit should come sit with them, too. Eileen beckons her over. Dorit is kinda drunk and asks for more rosé. Eileen starts by saying, “I totally love you” and Dorit knows there’s a big “but” coming. From out of nowhere, Rinna is there too, next to Dorit, and says they’d “just like to clear the air.” Which is Real Housewives-speak for “It’s time to start a dumb fight.” LVP, watching from the edge of the pool, seems to register that drama is about to go down.

Eileen tells Dorit that when they were talking in Malibu, her remark that she felt Erika was blindsided by the panty presentation wasn’t meant as an attack on Dorit. Connecticut is NOT having it. She instantly turns on Kyle, telling everyone that Kyle thought Erika had “unresolved feelings.” Kyle makes a face and denies having said that. She says in her interview that she thinks Dorit feels guilty that her “joke” of the panties wasn’t well-received, so now she’s trying to drag other people into it to diffuse blame. Eileen gives Erika a reassuring pat on the arm, which offends Dorit. “This is not to make Erika feel bad,” she says. Eileen replies that it might be awkward for Erika because they’re all talking about her crotch. “Well for fuck’s sake, you’re the one who brought it up, aren’t you?” asks Dorit. For once, she has a point.

Dorit is emphatic about the panties: “This wasn’t designed to make Erika feel bad.” Absolutely nobody who’s been watching can possibly believe her. “From the moment you gave her the underwear, Erika felt bad,” Kyle replies. Dorit points out that Kyle was with her when she bought the underwear and knew her plan to give them to Erika, so “If you thought that, maybe you would have said that.” Again, Dorit does have a point. What Kyle actually did in the moment was laugh uproariously and tell Dorit that if she gave Erika the panties without Kyle there to watch, she would be very upset. She knew this would cause problems between Dorit and Erika.

Turning to Eileen, Dorit snarls that if Erika has a problem with her, she’ll let her know, “rather than you telling me how she feels.” Eileen, flabbergasted, reaches out to Kyle and says “Help me!” Dorit says, “Eileen, you need a hell of a lot more help than what’s at this table.” Kyle, for her part, asks, “How did I get involved in this?”

“Kyle, you were involved from beginning to end. And I mean literally from beginning to end,” Dorit spits. She’s exaggerating, to put it mildly. Kyle looks as puzzled as we all feel. Dorit is deep into the rosé now, and is blathering away to Rinna while Kyle tries to get her attention. Eileen asks Dorit if Kyle was wrong to say that she thought Erika was blindsided to receive the panties. Dorit accuses Eileen of loving to twist things around. She will not shut up. Eileen tries to get some sense out of her and finally says, “Stop talking. You talk too much.” Well, they both do.

Rinna spells it out for Dorit: She should have spoken directly to Erika rather than talking to everyone BUT Erika about the supposed flashing. Erika, who has been quiet this whole time, finally speaks up and says that is exactly what bothered her: being the topic of such an embarrassing conversation without her knowledge. “Now you’re making fun of me and now I’m the brunt of the joke?” she asks, explaining how she felt to be presented with the panties. Kim pipes up: “I can’t believe somebody not wearing panties is such a big deal.” For someone who’s been involved with this show for seven years, she has precious little grasp on how these women operate.

It’s Rinna’s turn to lay into Dorit. She confronts her about the conversation at the dinner party. Rinna says she texted Eileen to let her know she might have crossed a boundary in discussing the death of Eileen’s loved ones with Dorit and PK. But, Rinna says, she also felt like Dorit and PK were inappropriately lecturing her on how she and Eileen should have grieved their parents. Dorit says Rinna runs and talks to Eileen and then Eileen has a way of turning something tiny into a drama. “That’s exactly my opinion of you,” she tells a flabbergasted Eileen, who responds, “Well, you’re wrong.”

LVP says nothing, but opines in her interview that Dorit is being introduced to the way Rinna and Eileen work as a team to gang up on someone. So this is perfect timing for Kim to chime in and say, “Well, the two of you do bounce off each other.” So much for letting go of the past, eh, Kim?

Eileen confirms that she and Rinna are friends, but she respects that Rinna has her own views. Kim accuses them of “encouraging each other,” and Eileen flat-out denies it: “That’s not true.” But Kim’s real target is Rinna, and she goes hard for her. Kim claims that Rinna gave her hell for two years in a row and has never apologized to her. Rinna counters that Kim has never apologized to her. Both of these women are emotional toddlers.

Kim hasn’t been paying close attention to this conversation because she accuses Rinna of using her father’s death as an excuse for “being mean” to LVP and others – the exact opposite of what Rinna and Eileen have been saying. Rinna tells Kim that she went after her because Kim went after her husband, Harry Hamlin. Kim, seemingly delusional, claims, “I never said anything about your husband.” We see a flashback of Kim intimating in Amsterdam that Harry has some big, ugly secret he’s hiding from everyone and Rinna flipping her shit when she does so. Kim keeps insisting to Rinna, “I never said a word about him.” Rinna tells Kim she plays dirty, then immediately follows with, “Let’s talk about your arrest. Why don’t we do that?” Oh, brother.

For some reason, LVP is the only one who intervenes and tells Rinna to knock it off. Then the others join in. I don’t know if this was edited to make it look like everyone was silent until LVP spoke up, but I sure hope that is not how this group of women reacted to Rinna’s attempt to humiliate Kim. “Does that make you happy? Does that make you feel good?” Kim asks Rinna, who responds, “Does it make you feel good to do what you’re doing?” Rinna is a brat. Kim insists she never said anything about Harry, and only said, “Do you want to talk about him?” Kim is a brat, too.

Kyle begs them to knock it off. Rinna admits in her interview that bringing up Kim’s arrest was a low blow, but refuses to “own it” (her favorite phrase), insisting Kim provoked her. Rinna gets up from the table and says she has no reason to speak to Kim ever again. “Because you lie,” Kim responds. “And you’re a faker and you don’t tell the truth.”Eden, who has been watching on the sidelines, intervenes and – in the kindest, most diplomatic way – suggests Kim lead by example as a sober woman, suspend her attacks, and try to find out where Rinna is coming from. Kim doesn’t look too happy to be reminded, however gently, that she’s supposed to be practicing a program of sober action.

Eden, who has been watching on the sidelines, intervenes and – in the kindest, most diplomatic way – suggests Kim lead by example as a sober woman, suspend her attacks, and try to find out where Rinna is coming from. Kim doesn’t look too happy to be reminded, however gently, that she’s supposed to be practicing a program of sober action.Rinna asks Kim why she’s so angry at her, and Kim says it’s because she has never apologized for “that whole year” of coming after her. At Eden’s prompting, she admits she’s hurt. “What do you want from me, Kim?” Rinna asks. She wants an apology, and at first she gets a non-apology: “I’m sincerely sorry if I hurt your feelings, Kim.” The word “if” doesn’t belong in an apology, just like the word “but.” Kim seems willing to accept this anyway, but Rinna goes further, saying it was wrong of her to say such mean things to Kim in an attempt to hurt her, “and I’m really sorry for that.” Rinna says in her interview that she’s glad Eden spoke

Rinna asks Kim why she’s so angry at her, and Kim says it’s because she has never apologized for “that whole year” of coming after her. At Eden’s prompting, she admits she’s hurt. “What do you want from me, Kim?” Rinna asks. She wants an apology, and at first she gets a non-apology: “I’m sincerely sorry if I hurt your feelings, Kim.” The word “if” doesn’t belong in an apology, just like the word “but.” Kim seems willing to accept this anyway, but Rinna goes further, saying it was wrong of her to say such mean things to Kim in an attempt to hurt her, “and I’m really sorry for that.” Rinna says in her interview that she’s glad Eden spoke up, and that Kim accepting her apology is “a moment of hope” and a better dynamic than what they’ve had so far. Just for the moment, that’s true. But it won’t be for long.

 

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