If you were wondering what Game of Thrones would look like unburdened by George RR Martin’s source material, headed to its narrative finish-line and working with a shortened season, the answer is absolute, balls-out chaos:
“The great war is here,” intones once-dead Jon Snow (Kit Harington), and for a guy who knows nothing, he is not wrong. In the center of it all are the Lannisters, “the last ones who count,” with Cersei (Lena Headey) sitting firmly on the Iron Throne with an “I will straight up blow up a church” gleam in her eyes. Meanwhile, her brother Jaime (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau), continues to look at the camera like Jim from The Office.
But, as Cersei herself so helpfully points out, enemies are amassing on all sides. Arriving by sea are the Greyjoys, a horde of pirates led by a warrior woman (Gemma Whelan) and her dickless brother (Alfie Allen). From the East, Daenerys Targaryen (Emilia Clarke) with Tyrion Lannister (Peter Dinklage) in tow. Daenerys has the benefit of a nearly-legitimate claim to the throne, along with an army of horseback badasses, killer eunuchs and, right, three massive fire-breathing dragons.
Plus, lest we forget, while the humans squabble over a pointy chair there is currently a race of evil ice wizards trudging south with their army of the frozen undead behind them. The Great War, indeed.