‘Imagined Dialogue For’ is our series by the hilarious and talented Chris Scott, of Reviews of Movies I Haven’t Seen fame. Next up? Chris takes a stab at guessing what happens in the third movie that establishes Owen Wilson is a rakish racecar.
LIGHTNING MCQUEEN: Hey Mater!
MATER: Lightning McQueen! My man!
MCQUEEN: How’s it going?
MATER: Not bad. Not too bad at all. It’s a beautiful day. The sun is shining, birds are chirping.
MCQUEEN: Man, that’s what it’s all about.
MATER: You said it.
MCQUEEN: Hey listen, wanna pick your brain real quick.
MATER: Yeah of course, buddy. Go for it.
MCQUEEN: Do you ever wonder if we have souls?
MATER: Man I’m so glad you asked. I wonder about this constantly.
MCQUEEN: Me too!
MATER: My gut says we do have souls, but I’m not sure what I’m basing that on.
MCQUEEN: Well we know humans have souls.
MATER: Oh for sure. No question.
MCQUEEN: But as cars, it’s a pretty open question.
MATER: I don’t think we’d be able to have a conversation like this if we didn’t have souls of some kind.
MCQUEEN: I’m not sure that’s enough though, right? Simply carrying a dialogue about possessing souls does not a soul make. Doesn’t mean we don’t, I’m just saying.
MATER: No no, I hear you.
MCQUEEN: Anyway, we don’t have to make a whole thing of it right now. Just wanted to put it out there.
MATER: No, I’m glad you did.
MCQUEEN: Let’s table this conversation for now.
MATER: Sounds good.
MCQUEEN: Man, I am feeling great today!
MATER: Me too! Just racing, being automobiles, having a good time. This — THIS — is what it’s all about.
MCQUEEN: You said it.
MATER: You look like you have something on your mind.
MCQUEEN: I do. What do you think happens to us when we die?
MATER: I wonder about this constantly.
MCQUEEN: I was raised believing we either go to heaven or hell. Or maybe we spend a little time in purgatory beforehand. But now I’m not so sure.
MATER: The thing that throws a monkeywrench into the whole situation is that we’re just cars.
MCQUEEN: Right, exactly.
MATER: So maybe we go to like a car heaven or a car hell. Or a car purgatory. Depending on our behavior in this lifetime.
MCQUEEN: Or maybe we just return to whatever void of preconsciousness we entered from. I mean, what’s your earliest memory?
MATER: I remember a road? Like a dirt road with white dust? It’s really foggy.
MCQUEEN: I remember the sky. The clouds were lower than they usually are. Like I could reach up and touch them.
MATER: Can I tell you something, McQueen?
MCQUEEN: Yeah, anything.
MATER: I never want to die.
MCQUEEN: I never want to die either.
MATER: Hey man.
MCQUEEN: You okay?
MATER: Not really.
MCQUEEN: What’s up?
MATER: I can’t stop thinking about what happens to us when we die. I mean, we’re just cars.
MCQUEEN: I can’t stop thinking about it either.