Imagined Dialogue for: ‘House of Cards’

Claire and Frank Underwood. Netflix

INT. OVAL OFFICE. DAY.

PRESIDENT UNDERWOOD: Is it done?

FIRST LADY UNDERWOOD: It’s done.

PRESIDENT: Does anyone suspect us?

FIRST LADY: No. Our hands are clean.

PRESIDENT: This is a dirty game, Claire.

FIRST LADY: Well sometimes you have to get your hands dirty… when you want to provide single-payer, universal health coverage.

PRESIDENT: The deal we cut with Senator Wilson — promising him a kickback for his state… I don’t feel good about it.

FIRST LADY: But think about how many lives we’re going to save, finally making healthcare affordable in America.

PRESIDENT: Yes but at what cost?!

FIRST LADY: All you promised Wilson was that his state would get $3 million more in defense contracts. Seems like a pretty small price to pay, honestly.

PRESIDENT: You’re right, that is a small price to pay.

FIRST LADY: Especially when you factor in all the lives we’re going to save.

PRESIDENT: Now that we’re talking it through, I actually feel really great about it.

FIRST LADY: Nothing to feel guilty about.

PRESIDENT: We’re changing lives, Claire.

FIRST LADY: Damn right we are.

INT. OVAL OFFICE. DAY.

PRESIDENT: Do you have it?

FIRST LADY: Yes.

PRESIDENT: Ok. Let’s see it.

[CLAIRE HANDS FRANK MANILA ENVELOPE. FRANK OPENS IT.]

PRESIDENT: Do you know what this means, Claire?

FIRST LADY: I do.

[LONG, DRAMATIC PAUSE]

PRESIDENT: The unemployment rate is the lowest it’s been in over a century.

FIRST LADY: I can barely breathe.

PRESIDENT: Breathe, Claire. This is really happening.

FIRST LADY: We are doing so much good, for so many people. I’m so happy we’re in the White House.

PRESIDENT: Serving people. It’s what we were put on this planet to do, Claire.

INT. OVAL OFFICE. DAY.

FIRST LADY: Frank, China just declared war on us.

PRESIDENT: WHAT?!

FIRST LADY: I’m just kidding. Thanks to steady and sensible American leadership there hasn’t been a single conflict in the entire world in over three years.

PRESIDENT: Hahaha, you got me.

 

Imagined Dialogue for: ‘House of Cards’