Look, I’m not here to tell you who to date.
Attraction is an incredibly subjective matter. What entices one person bores another. What repulses you might get the next average Joe all hot and bothered. What you’re looking for as an ENFJ might be entirely different from what your hippy ENFJ coworker wants in a life partner. The goal of type compatibility isn’t to figure out which type you’re destined to be with; it’s to figure out which traits you’re looking for in a partner, and then find someone who exhibits them.
But hey, you came here to nerd out. And I’m not here to deny you the simple pleasure of analyzing what each Myers-Briggs personality type brings to a relationship.
What you do with this information is up to you.
Pros of Dating an ENFP: Warm, compassionate and affirming. Able to hold a long, meaningful conversation on pretty much any topic with pretty much any person (sparing you a lot of insufferable dinner party chit chat). Deep oracle of wisdom, but also acts like a child who views the world as one giant amusement park.
Cons of Dating an ENFP: Doesn’t believe in reality. High risk of leaving you to go find their authentic self (often located in Argentina, Bali, the Dolomite mountains, etc.) on zero notice.
Pros of Dating an INFP: Deeply empathetic. Sees you in an incredible, artistic light that will transform the way you see yourself (for the better). Unprecedented balance of deeply insightful and hopelessly goofy.
Cons of Dating an INFP: Is sometimes writing the story of your relationship in their head and upset that you are not properly following the script. Cries whenever they see a picture of two animals hugging.
Pros of Dating an INTP: Thoughtful and deliberate. Talking to them for five minutes is like taking a drug that makes you see everything differently and experience reality in a fun new way. Said drug cannot be overdosed on. Very self-sufficient and not needy.
Cons of Dating an INTP: Might forget they are a human for days at a time while researching, meditating, gaming, etc. and fail to communicate their existence to the outside world (including you). Unlikely to notice you’re upset until you have attached a large blimp to their house reading, “I’m upset!” May then fail to notice the blimp.
Pros of Dating an ENTP: Hot brain. Has eight million solutions to your problem before you even finish explaining it. Maps out an exciting new life course every six months, making it hard for the relationship to grow stagnant.
Cons of Dating an ENTP: Forgets you exist while in the throes of a new project. Then remembers you exist and is very, very excited about it. Then forgets again. Makes a lot of elaborate plans with you, then changes them without warning. Fails to understand why you’re not thrilled by this process.
Pros of Dating an ESFP: Makes you feel like the most adored person on earth. Transforms life into a giant, non-stop adventure. Makes everything seem accessible and possible.
Cons of Dating an ESFP: Texts you 800 times in a row. Is never not loudly singing show tunes.
Pros of Dating an ISFP: Is as calming as sitting by the ocean and watching the waves roll in. Looks at you like a masterpiece and loves you like the world’s finest art connoisseur. Is unexpectedly witty, adventurous, committed and paradoxical in the most enticing way.
Cons of Dating an ISFP: Hard to find. Hard to get to know once located. Turns you into artwork.
Pros of Dating an ESTP: So fun they should be illegal. Tackles problems and makes your life a thousand times easier. Tells it like it is, then makes it better.
Cons of Dating an ESTP: You may get whiplash trying to keep track of them. To hold their attention, you must be more fun than whatever outrageously fun thing they’re currently doing.
Pros of Dating an ISTP: Extremely self-sufficient and capable. The absolute chillest of the chill. Kind of like an encyclopedia, but a fun one you can take on adventures.
Cons of Dating an ISTP: Has a tendency to disappear for days or weeks at a time. If disappearing episodes are restricted, grumpiness levels rise. Is hard-pressed to commit to literally anything.
Pros of Dating an INFJ: Incredibly supportive. Intrinsically driven to make you happier every day you’re with them. Shakes the foundation of your worldview in an affirming way.
Cons of Dating an INFJ: A lot of unresolved existential dread. Might take a thousand years to think through an issue, then unexpectedly hit you with a master’s thesis on what’s wrong.
Pros of Dating an ENFJ: Basically a walking affirmation machine. Excellent at talking to anyone. Wise oracle sent from the future to help you sort out your issues.
Cons of Dating an ENFJ: Doesn’t get to the point. Tries to make you grow into the best version of yourself when you just want to sit on the couch and watch TV.
Pros of Dating an INTJ: Has read every book on the planet and can summarize them for you concisely. Can switch from intelligently discussing rocket science to reiki in seconds. Knows the secrets of life, the Universe and everything (probably).
Cons of Dating an INTJ: Not as cuddly as one would hope. Resting face kind of looks like they’re planning to kill you (don’t take it personally).
Pros of Dating an ENTJ: Inspires you to become the best version of yourself. Unexpectedly fun at parties. Genuinely motivated to see you thrive in all areas of your life and works relentlessly to make this happen.
Cons of Dating an ENTJ: Probably a robot. Expects you to concede to their standards, some of which are just plain weird.
Pros of Dating an ISFJ: Like a nicer version of your parents. Goes to the end of the earth to make you happy and comfortable. The human embodiment of a warm fireplace on a cold winter night.
Cons of Dating an ISFJ: Favorite household chore is sweeping issues under the rug. Your actual parents will love them
Pros of Dating an ESFJ: An unprecedented mix of fun and responsible. Massive hit at dinner parties. Invests in your relationship like a nerd with a bitcoin account in 2010.
Cons of Dating an ESFJ: You must commit the next 100 years of your life to them on the first date. Usually stressed out.
Pros of Dating an ISTJ: Has been an adult since before they learned to walk. Does anything to provide for the people they love. Incredibly stable and grounded. Will probably do your taxes.
Cons of Dating an ISTJ: So responsible that you feel a little bad about yourself in comparison. Allergic to change.
Pros of Dating an ESTJ: Fierce and relentless provider. Great with people. Confidence levels are through the roof, but in a hard-earned and therefore sexy way.
Cons of Dating an ESTJ: Only ever wants socks for Christmas. Is baffled any time someone expresses an emotion.