Ask a Life Coach: How to Handle Changing Jobs, Breaking Up and Other Transitions

Navigating change is just like crossing a bridge. Jake Melara

Sometimes we just need a bit of guidance along our path. Is there something going on in your life that you don’t know how to deal with? As a Certified Intuitive Life Coach, I help people understand why things happen the way they do in life and provide the perspective to make change. Got a question of your own? Email donnalynn@observer.com.

This week, we’re talking about navigating the transitional periods in life. Transitions are never easy, but they are always very purposeful. The best advice I can give you when going through a transition is to not look for the answers. Keep your head up high and keep your eyes aheadmagic always unravels itself slowly.

For six months I’ve been helping my parents grow their business and thus have provided great value around their work. But after listening to my intuition, I’m feeling it’s time to move on to another chapter of my life. But change is never easy for me; I always doubt myself through the process. How do you know when it’s grit or when it’s just giving up?

You don’t. That’s the point.

You can’t know anything. You have to feel it. You have to learn how to feel your way through your life; that’s how the best decisions are made.

You innately knew that this chapter of your life was coming to a close. You were ready for it to come to a close. Your intuition was telling you it was coming to a close. It was coming to a close.

Good for you that you were able to see it. Most people fight to stay in unsatisfactory conditions because they cannot see any other way and they’re too tired or burnt out to look for other options.

You have an emotional guidance system within you, so ask yourself how it feels. If it feels exciting and dynamic to continue, then continue. If it really feels as if you are unhappy, frustrated, stuck or stagnant, it’s time to go. Your intuition will tell you everything you need to know, you just have to align yourself with it.

There is a difference between working hard and working yourself into the ground. Is it grit or is it giving up? How does it feel? Does it feel challenging but stimulating? Or does it feel destitute? If you feel like you want it in your life then it is grit; if you feel you no longer want it, it’s time to give it up.

In life, it’s never what you know; it’s always what you feel that is real for you. Learn to turn off your mind and turn on your heart. It’s within that space that all the best decisions are made.

I’m going through a very bitter divorce, and I have a 12-year-old son. I am ready to start a new life, and my son and I are in the process of moving out West. I don’t know what to expect. I am filled with fear as I haven’t had to fend for myself in a very long time. I need a planI would feel safer if I had some answers or guarantees already lined up, but that’s not possible in this situation. 

The only certainty is uncertainty and that’s a beautiful thing because it always gives you options.

Think about itcertainty is fixed, you already know the outcome. Uncertainty is undetermined, therefore it has the potential to become anything you want it to be.

In other words, it’s better to be uncertain where you are then to be certain you are in the wrong place. When you can understand that, your life will unfold in magical ways.

You were certain that you were in the wrong place with your marriage, and although you do not know where the next step will bring you, you do know that it has to be better than where you’re coming from.

I know you are nervous about this life change; it’s totally understandable. But you don’t have to have all the answers right now. All you need to do is make the move away from what isn’t working in order to regain clarity over what will work.

Uncertainty is your friend, not your foe. Your fears are your enemy. Shut down those fears and embrace your future. You are moving away from a toxic situation and into a future which can be anything you want it to be. Get excited and dive into the unknown. It’s only outside your comfort zone that the real magic happens.

I’m a very organized person. I pretty much had my life figured out when I was 15. I knew the field I wanted to get into, the education I needed to get there and the connections that would open doors for me. What I didn’t plan on was the fact that when I got thereI’d be miserable. I am currently in the process of transitioning into a new career and I don’t have all the answers to where I will end up. I feel so uncomfortable. How can I move through this as gracefully as possible?

Transitions in life are as easy as crossing bridges. Don’t make it bigger than that.

If you’re crossing a bridge to a new place, you’ve already made the decision to leave the place you were standing and go somewhere new.

When you get onto a bridge, you know the bridge will take you to your destination. It has to take you there. There’s no way it can’tit’s a bridge to somewhere. Just because you cannot see the land on the other side doesn’t mean it isn’t there for you. Trust. Trust that you are moving towards a space that will feed you better.

Once you get to the other side, you will experience everything that new space has to offer you. Then you can make your next move.

Getting onto the bridge was the first step. Bridges take us from a past we’ve grown out of and bring us to a new place where we can expand and redefine ourselves.

The bridge got you there. Once you land there, you can make it anything you want. You may want to hang out by the coastline or go inland toward the mountains. But you can’t make that decision before you get there. How do you know where you need to be if you haven’t ever been there?

Transitions are graceful if you take them one step at a time. Be in the moment with each choice you make and then listen to your intuition to know when it’s time to choose again.

Bridges will always cross you over to other side, and what’s waiting for you will slowly reveal itself through your exploration. Trust in the process of your life. If you weren’t meant to be there, you wouldn’t have gotten on the bridge in the first place.

Ask a Life Coach: How to Handle Changing Jobs, Breaking Up and Other Transitions