Who am “I”? And why do “I” have to be one person? Is it just because the letter “I” looks like the number “1″? Too many people are devoted to their own singularity. “I” am not a monad. Or should “I” say, “I” are not a monad. Or should “I” say, “I” are “we” are Read More
I come from Greece, the land of Zeus. What sprang full-born from my skull has now fetched $315 million. Now, like the Queens of Minos, I will rule an empire, an empire of content. The Internet is a labyrinth. Teeming and toiling within the endless maze are journalists, citizens, citizen-journalists and unique visitors. It doesn’t Read More
I have sat here in the desert for more than 4,000 years. I watched as Pharaoh Ahmose I expelled the dreaded Hyksos from the Nile. I saw the missionaries of Hatshetsup deliver her myrrh trees from the Land of Punt. Thutmose III forged his empire from the banks of the Euphrates to the fourth Nile Read More
I’m considering another run for president and weighing the pros and the cons. On the pro side, there’s power, fame, the chance to secure my legacy in history and thus ensure that I am remembered in the national consciousness for something more than a few cameo appearances on Seinfeld, as well as the chance to Read More
I’m working on my personal brand. I don’t want to be just a football player, a dumb jock who just throws balls in the air further and faster and more accurately than a few other guys (guys like Tom Brady). I want to be a whole human being. I want to have feelings, feelings that Read More
We will bury you. You will be helpless in our frigid embrace. We will stop your trains, halt your cars, stall your trucks and cripple your buses. We will put your city into a coma. All of your money is useless against us. Your billionaire mayor is but an impotent elf. We will close your Read More
The Observer was sitting at his desk on Saturday afternoon. He clicked the tab for Twitter on his Web browser. Five Tweets down on his Timeline he saw a Tweet by @Beach_Sloth that read, http://thoughtcatalog.com/2011/tao-lin-and-megan-boyle-of-mdma-films-are-married/ @xsssy @heusar @tao_lin @meganboyle Congrats newly weds!
The Observer thought, “It’s good that Tao and Megan got married. Read More
Of all the indignities I have suffered, the fiasco of incompetence that has resulted from my decision to sign my life rights over to Broadway producers is no doubt the most gratuitous, not to mention the corniest. And beyond the accidents, the orchestra pit tumbles, the broken ribs and the cracked vertebrae—all slurs upon my Read More
While confined here in Ellingham Hall, I came across recent statements calling my present activities “unwise and untimely,” plus “unscrupulous,” “thuggish,” “criminal” and “megalomaniacal.” Seldom do I pause to answer criticism of my work and ideas. If I sought to answer all the criticisms that enter my in-box, I would have to undertake a volume Read More
God, am I stressed out. I hate my job. My boss is an idiot and completely ineffectual. How did he get this job? And why did I consent to play his globe-trotting lackey? It’s always been true that Democrats make the best Republican presidents. My husband, that arrogant, shiftless philanderer, proved that long ago. At Read More
