Been there, seen that. (Hustler)

As for the sex This Ain't Girls XXX:

“I tried to make it as weird as possible,” Calhoun told XBIZ. “I tried to say really weird things and do really weird positions.

“Well, not that weird,” he quickly added.

Haha, what does that even mean? No Cabbage Patch lunchbox sex? No "grey rape?" No dialogue that involves the phrase "You said I made you feel like your whole body was a clit?"

The actor praised writer/director Stuart Canterbury's script, which he said stays true to the tone of the original series, which he called "provocative" and "very well written."

Two-year-old Taylor tales. (CBS)

If anyone missed Lesley Stahl's segment this weekend on 60 Minutes (though come on, how unlikely is that?), you might not have noticed that her profile of Taylor Swift, "A Young Singer's Meteoric Rise," was actually just a re-aired interview from 2011.

Which is fine--Ms. Stahl tells the audience that "we first met Taylor Swift in 2011, during her Speak Now tour," and on the 60 Minutes website, they disclose "The following is a script of "Taylor Swift" which originally aired on Nov. 20, 2011 and was rebroadcast on May 19, 2013"--except that it says something about Taylor Swift's "meteoric rise" that most people would have no idea that this interview was two years old. Or that on Twitter, 60 Minutes gave no clue that this would be a rebroadcast episode.

Nor did her fans seem to notice, with the exception of a few eagle-eyed viewers. (Despite the fact that in the segment she refers to herself as 21-years-old.)

The segment seems to have been re-aired in conjunction with CBS' ACM Presents: Tim McGraw's Superstar Summer Night, which featured Ms. Swift. But Sunday was also the night of the Billboard Awards, where Ms. Swift performed and took home eight statuettes.

Sunday's 60 Minute segment:

Part Two, from November, 2011:

Why did 60 Minutes only choose to air half of the interview? Probably because the second half addresses issues that would have hilariously dated the segment--Ms. Swift refusing to comment on Kanye, or saying that she "okay being alone," and "doesn't want to be one of those people who need to have a boyfriend all of the time."

Even so, hearing Ms. Swift talk about what "thin skin" she has, and how she hates reading anything negative about herself is heartbreakingly prescient: It makes us wonder if 2013 has either toughened up, or has somehow managed to avoid reading 90 percent of the Internet on a given day.

Ryan Serhant, at home and on TV.

7:45 AM: Ryan Serhant, the former hand model/soap opera actor-turned-real estate superstar, beats The Observer to his Tribeca office by an hour. “I’m always the first one in,” brags the 28-year-old broker at Nest Seekers International, a boutique real estate brokerage firm.

He has been up since 4:23 a.m, was at the gym by 5 a.m. and in the office shortly thereafter. When we offer to go for a bleary-eyed coffee run, he yells from his office, “Don’t forget to write about how you were an hour late!”

8:30 AM: It’s time for a team meeting with Mr. Serhant’s partner, Nick Jabbour, assistant Olivia Robertson and broker Mariana Pomerlian.

As one of three realtors on Bravo’s Million Dollar Listing New York, Mr. Serhant plays the part of a rakish bad boy on TV. (He once threw an open house with nearly nude women and an Eyes Wide Shut theme.) But despite that playboy rep, Mr. Serhant is an extremely serious broker with a sterling reputation: he and Mr. Jabbour have put the relatively small Nest Seekers on the map since Mr. Serhant began working for the company four years ago. (According to Mr. Jabbour, the group now manages about $50 million in estates in New York City as well as $10 million in Miami and has at least one $7 million space in L.A.) Last year, Mssrs. Serhant and Jabbour earned a spot on The Real Deal’s “Top Manhattan Agents” power rankings, with a combined listing volume of more than $114 million.

9:00 AM: We jump into an Escalade with Mr. Serhant’s driver, Yuriy, and stop by his apartment. If such a thing is possible, Mr. Serhant has upgraded his already luxe lifestyle for the show’s second season: He moved from 20 Pine Street to a West Chelsea apartment furnished by Nikki Cheng at BoConcepts. He’s got a new storefront office in Tribeca, where he manages a team of 12.

And that Escalade? That’s new too.

Mr. Serhant is unapologetic about his reality TV stardom. “Someone with a father or brother in the business here, they might not need the show,” he says, a veiled dig at former co-star Michael Lorber, the son of Howard Lorber, chairman of Douglas Elliman and president and CEO of Vector Group Ltd., who left the show after season one.

Mr. Serhant was only 25 when he was approached by Bravo (his work at 99 John Street had made him the youngest sales director in New York City). He says he saw the show as a mountain ledge from which he could either climb to the summit, or fall very quickly.

“Friends cautioned me, ‘Don’t do it. You don’t want to be like the Kardashians. Just build up a credible business,’” Mr. Serhant chuckles. “But that just seemed boring.”

9:15 AM: We make a quick stop to look at some construction not far from the High Line. Mr. Serhant has a vested interest here, because he plans to rep the only non-rental condo on the block (which he asked us not to disclose). “West Chelsea, this is the next frontier in real estate,” he says. He talks about apartments going for $3,000 per square foot.

9:30 AM: We walk through a space on East 17th Street. Mr. Serhant is representing the owner, who wants to lease the 6,000-square-foot apartment for $25,000 per month. The potential tenant enters with his broker and, after a five-minute tour, they agree to fax over their signed contract.

9:45 AM: Mr. Serhant picks up his brunch: a Monster energy drink and a protein bar. “Most people are lazy,” he says. “Most people want weekends. People don’t want to wake up early. People want to go home and watch reruns of How I Met Your Mother.”

“Or Million Dollar Listing,” we joke.

“Exactly,” Mr. Serhant says, not joking.

Making deals.

10:30 AM: We’re uptown for a developer meeting at Young Woo & Associates to discuss a listing for 200 11th Avenue. Though Mr. Serhant doesn’t have the listing yet, he really wants it, and his presentation to Mr. Woo—known to be a little eccentric—is to give him a print by French photographic surrealist Allistair Magnaldo that features a girl who has built a ladder to reach the stars.

“I want to do something like that,” Mr. Serhant says confidently. He then slides another batch of photos across the table, having broken into the building across the street with a photographer to take pictures of the Sky Garage, which he then sent to Spine3D, a company that does photorealistic prints. Now the pictures include a car in a hot air balloon, floating up as if to try and glimpse inside the penthouse.

There is a second of silence, and then Mr. Woo slowly begins to clap.

11:45 AM:  From the car, Mr. Serhant calls a client to give her some good news: her offer of $890,000 was accepted at the Setai downtown.

12:00 PM: Lunchtime, but not for us. Mr. Serhant has prepared a personalized book for a potential buyer, a law student looking to stay in the West Chelsea. He shows her two properties. The first one is a fixer-upper in a co-op; the second one has a bedroom that the woman finds “too small.” Within 10 minutes of driving away, the woman’s father calls and tells Mr. Serhant to make an offer on the first apartment.

1:15 PM: Heading back to Nest Seekers’ HQ in Midtown, Mr. Serhant is going over the contract for a building in West Chelsea. Once sold, Mr. Serhant tells us, it will be converted into residential condos by a developer, whom he is representing, and he will receive $1 million in commission.

1:30 PM: Powwow at 415 Madison with Eddie Shapiro, CEO of Nest Seekers. They discuss the recent meeting at Young Woo & Associates, and then Mr. Shapiro hands out his latest assignment for his famous broker: start marketing in Brooklyn.

“We’re going to start listing around Brooklyn Heights area,” Mr. Shapiro grins, “but we need to find another name for places around there. Let’s get creative.” Mr. Serhant looks less than thrilled; the word “Brooklyn” has frozen his face like he’s in the middle of a sneeze.

1:45 PM: Explaining he “doesn’t usually do this,” Mr. Serhant stops for lunch: a tuna panini at Pax. To go.

2:00 PM: Back in the car, Mr. Serhant manages a quick phone interview with a local Pennsylvania newspaper in anticipation of a speaking engagement in Lehigh Valley.

“I want to leverage as much opportunity from this experience as possible,” he tells The Observer. Currently, he’s hitting the luxury property lecture circuit. “No one is educated about the market,” he says, finishing off his lunch in three bites. “So many people get into real estate because they are fascinated by quick money, which doesn’t really exist, and they are fascinated by the idea that you don’t have to have an education to go into business. So a lot of idiots get into real estate.” (We decline to mention that Mr. Serhant’s reality show does little to contradict this perception, cutting months-long deals into minutes of TV narrative.)

Erin Wicomb and Serhant

2:30 PM: Weekly sales meeting with Nest Seekers broker Amjad Pervez. Together, they are co-marketing a new condo in Kip’s Bay. At 90 days, they’ve already hit the 65% sold mark.

3:30 PM: In the financial district, Mr. Serhant is consulting for Erin Wicomb, the VP and cofounder of Equity Mavrix Group, who is working on the company’s first 40-plus unit condo building in the area. “You always want a walk-in closet, you always want a double vanity,” Mr. Serhant proclaims. “Hell or high water, you need a washer dryer. Yes, in the apartment.”

The developer takes the broker’s word as gospel. “We need to consult with the best,” he says, “and Ryan knows what buyers will want.”

4:30 PM: We head back to Mr. Serhant’s apartment in West Chelsea. His stylist is there with suits for Mr. Serhant’s upcoming LA trip. To keep The Observer occupied, he plays the week’s yet-to-be-aired episode of Million Dollar Listing.

It’s a surprisingly emotional episode, as the lives of all three brokers are suddenly disrupted by Superstorm Sandy. His co-stars shack up with family or significant others, while Mr. Serhant has a very un-reality show moment of self-awareness in a voice-over confessional.

“In moments like this, moments of chaos, moments of crisis, people go to their loved ones. You go to your girlfriend or your family or your friends,” he says, while we see an image of him sitting alone on the steps of the Financial Building, cold-calling former flames.

“I’m alone. When the city shuts down and everyone is taking a pause to be with their loved ones, um, I’m completely alone.”

We look at Mr. Serhant, who is standing next to the TV, to see if he’s watching himself, but he is not. He is deciding which tie to wear on Marie Osmond’s show next week.

5:00 PM: Back in the Escalade, Mr. Serhant is on his way to meet an interior designer to discuss a client looking for a three-bedroom in Soho for $8 million when he gets another good-news phone call: the seller accepted his client’s offer of $14.9 million for an apartment at Trump Fifth Avenue. It’s the first unit Mr. Serhant has sold in the building.

It’s been seven hours since he tossed back his Monster energy drink, but he is pumped. Only seven more hours to go before Mr. Serhant can sleep, when he will congratulate himself on another successful day, eager to start it all over again four and a half hours later.

The Kanye Pyramid. (Wireimage c/o Adult Swim.)

“Tru$t U$,” read the sign behind the bar of the Roseland Ballroom last Thursday night, as a couple hundred reporters, ad sales reps, financial backers and celebrities crammed into the performance space to see the Adult Swim upfronts. Well, that wasn’t exactly true—most people weren’t there to see the new lineup of shows that will air on Cartoon Network, or to rub elbows with Lake Bell (Childrens Hospital), Paul Scheer (Filthy Sexy Teen$), Seth Green (Robot Chicken) or Aziz Ansari, who will be doing a voice cameo on Venture Bros. Instead, they were there to see the night’s entertainment: Kanye West.

Somehow, Adult Swim, owned by Turner Broadcasting, has always managed to book the most impossible talent for its upfront events. Two years ago, Jay-Z performed a 50-minute set; last year, T.I. was the main draw. But something about booking Mr. West—who had been the star guest and musical entertainment at the Met Gala the previous week, and would be closing out the season of Saturday Night Live two days later, and whose new album (the title leaked to the press: Yeezus) drops June 18—was an extra-special get.

Mr. West performed on an awkward triangular structure which made it impossible for anyone except those in the very front row to see Yeezy go through the motions of hits like “Clique,” “Jesus Walks,” “All of the Lights” and several new tunes, including “Awesome.” Whether the night’s circus tent/bouncy castle of a set was some sort of commentary about the amount of ironic cognitive dissonance Adult Swim fans actively engage in, or whether Mr. West just didn’t want anyone to see his listless performance (perspiring in front of a mic, mouthing lyrics), we may never know.

There was one portion of the evening when Mr. West decided to get real with the audience, indulging in one of his patented rants:

“So I don’t want no people runnin’ up on me with cameras, trying to, like, sell pictures and shit to magazines, asking me dumb-ass questions, throwin’ me off my focus and shit. Harrassin’ you all muthafuckin’ day. I ain’t no muthafuckin’ celebrity.

“It’s so funny. Somebody asked me, ‘When you do SNL, are you going to do a skit about the paparazzi and shit. And like humanize yourself?’ I ain’t here to apologize to no muthafuckas, man. It ain’t about me humanizing myself. At what point did I become un-human where I have to turn myself back? Or maybe I was demonized, or maybe I was treated inhumane and not human in that type of situation. I ain’t no muthafuckin’ celebrity. I ain’t runnin’ for office. I ain’t kissin’ nobody’s muthafuckin’ babies. I drop your baby and you muthafuckin’ sue me and shit. I’m trying to make some music that inspires people to be the best that they can be. And I don’t want nobody else to ask anything of me! Don’t ask nothing else of me ...
“Hell nah, I ain’t doin no muthafuckin’ SNL skits. This is my goddamn life. This ain’t no muthafuckin’ joke.”

Whether this message managed to reach fans through the lenses of the cell phones held in front of their faces, it was hard to say.

Then again, maybe it doesn’t matter what Kanye West says; it just mattered that he showed up. Over at the VIP bar, two older men from out of town were having a drink. After hearing that the Transom was in the writing business, one gave us a pitch for his own film.

“It’s going to be like The Hangover, except it’s about a finance guy from Kansas who goes to New York for the network upfronts, and like, meets all these celebrities and has all this random sex and gets caught up in the craziness of New York City,” said the man, who happened to be a finance guy from Kansas.

“Oh, and I have another idea,” he continued, “but it’s much darker. It’s about a group of guys on a bachelor party bus, which gets hijacked by a bunch of black thug terrorists.”

“Wait, are they black thugs or are they terrorists?” we asked. The man looked at us, confused.
“What’s the difference?”

We finished our drink and left, a little bit wiser as to what it was that made Mr. West so angry all the time.

Dan Contarino, former promoter of Shampoo Nightclub's "Shaft" Fridays, was jumped last night at Avenue D & 4th Street. Allegedly, witnesses are reporting the assailant was yelling "f*ggot" as he was kicking and beating Dan. Neighbors rushed to Dan's aid and chased after the attacker but unfortunately he got away. The police are investigating the assault now and have not determine it a hate crime.

Mr. Contarino posted images of his bloodied face on Facebook and Twitter, where he he wrote:

THANKS FOR CALLS.... GAY BASHED LAST NITE.... back from small surgery.... CHEST XRAYS THIS AM.... suspect still at large... police n media waiting to interview me... U JUST WANNA CRY N MOVE ON....

Meanwhile, a gay couple was attacked in SoHo last night, when two men approached them yelling anti-gay slur, starting a physical altercation. One of the men attacked suffered an eye injury, according to police reports. Two suspects, Fabian Ortiz, 32, and Pedro Jiminez, 23, were arrested in conjunction to this incident and are being charged with third degree assault as a hate crime.

And last night in the East Village, another alleged suspect, 39-year-old Roman Gronel attacked a 45-year-old companion with whom he had just met up with, screaming gay obscenities at him during the beating. Commissioner Ray Kelly told attendees at today's press conference that the suspect lived at the Bowery Mission for the last month and has an extensive criminal background.

Last night, New Yorkers came together to mourn the death of 32-year-old Mark Carson, a gay man who was shot in the head this weekend in Greenwich Village; the victim of an alleged hate crime. Crowds gathered at the LGBT Center on West 13th and marched to 8th Street and Sixth Avenue, the location of the shooting, where a rally/vigil was held to memorialize Mr. Carson and express the outrage of the city's denizens.

An outpouring of sentiment followed as hundreds left vigils at the site of the crime over the weekend. This evening, you can find organizers from GLAAD, along with city officials and New Yorkers--gay and straight--in a solidarity march starting at the LGBT Community Center of New York at 5:30PM and ending with a rally at the murder site, where friends, family, community leaders and City Council Speaker Christine Quinn will read from prepared statements.

However, not everyone wants the mayoral candidate using this tragic incident as a stumping ground, and have organized their own event in solidarity with Mr. Carson.

According to The Village Voice, there will be a seperate vigil outside St. Vincent's Hospital this evening:

"A lot of people are agreeing that Christine Quinn is trying to politicize today's march," said Louis Flores, an organizer with Queers Against Quinn and a St. Vincent's activist group. Flores also wonders whether Carson, who was shot through the cheek, would have survived had he been taken two blocks away from the scene of the crime to St. Vincent's, rather than Beth Israel, which is located across town from where Carson was shot and lacks a Level 1 trauma center.

The Facebook page for the event has been organized by Hands off St. Vincent's, making the group just as guilty as politicizing one man's death as they accuse Speaker Quinn of being.

The cast of RHONY, approximately. (Bravo)

Despite the finger-biting anxiety of the last two weeks, when negotiations between Bravo and the members of The Real Housewives of New York City broke down, causing the network to threaten cancellation, it looks like all's well in the RHONY world after all.

Reports have seen the women out and about together with a camera crew at various NYC locales, including the studio of celebrity trainer Will Torres.

But the question remains: will all the Real Housewives be making it back for the next season?

According to E!, there are two women who are in danger of being replaced:

"At this point, the returning cast members include Ramona Singer, Sonja Morgan, Carole Radziwill and Heather Thomson," Bravo tells E! News. (E! and Bravo are both members of the NBCUniversal family.)

Meaning, LuAnn de Lesseps and Aviva Drescher—whom a source told us had been "demanding more money"—are not sure things for another seaon.

While Countess LuAnn may still be on the fence, sources have told The Observer that Ms. Drescher has indeed signed her Bravo contract, as several outlets have already noted. Whether or not Bravo would axe a cast member after they've already inked a deal for a new season, however, remains to be seen.

The end of the hottest night clubs in New York. (NBC(

Perhaps Semisonic said it best: "Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end."

This weekend marked the 38th season finale of Saturday Night Live, arguably one of the best runs the NBC variety show has seen in recent years. This is thanks in large part to fresh featured members like Cecily Strong and Kate McKinnon as well as the new repertory cast of Taran Killam, Vanessa Bayer, Bobby Moynihan, and Nasim Pedrad. These relatively young comedians were able to fill the hole made last season by the departures of heavy-hitters Kristen Wiig, Andy Samberg and Abby Elliott, and gave the show, in the words of Bill Hader, "a new sensibility."

"There’s a joy in seeing a new move from somebody and going, ‘Oh, she can do that,'" Mr. Hader told The New York Times last week.

But the Ben Affleck/Kanye West-hosted finale was also bittersweet, with several major players--including Fred Armisen, Weekend Update's Seth Meyers (who was also the show's head writer) and Bill Hader--taking their final bows, leaving the cast virtually unrecognizable from two years ago. (This will especially be true if Jason Sudeikis just makes up his mind already and leaves during the summer.)

Despite the fact that SNL doesn't usually make a big deal about a player leaving the cast, last year's tribute to Wiig seems to have upped the ante for their own farewells. Here is how each member said goodbye.

Seth Meyers and Bill Hader: Stefon and Seth Get Married

Fred Armisen: Top of the Pops

Though the sketch wasn't the funniest of the night, it was, like Wiig's, a heartfelt goodbye in song, with Armisen ending on the lines, "It’s been all right / I’ve had a lovely night with you."

Illustration by Alex Bedder.

Our guest essay answerer this week is none other than our GoT illustrator, Alex Bedder! Give him a hand!

These questions regard last night’s episode of HBO’s Game of Thrones. Please answer the prompts with specific examples from LAST NIGHT’S EPISODE, though supplementary material will be accepted as a secondary source. Please write legibly. No. 2 pencils only. You have an hour to finish this test. See below for questions and sample responses.

1. We like to say "Seal it with a kiss" (or, at least, Britney Spears does), but the more appropriate term for our characters in this week's episode might be "Seal it with some sex." What special significance does tonight's episode put on doing (or not doing) the nasty? Things to consider: Religious rituals that had seemingly nothing to do with sex and everything to do with kinky leeches, Tyrion's dilemma of honor vs. self-preservation (strategically, he'd be much, much better off having sex with Sansa and getting her pregnant) and Dany's renewed policy of giving it up to whichever dude kills the most jerks for her?

Sex on Game of Thrones can be overall be described as gratuitous in different ways, whether it’s Littlefinger instructing in the art of seduction, Podrick being “gifted” or Theon starring in the worst porno ever. This week was interesting because doing it, and the absence of doing it, had to do with conflicting desires that weren't as straightforward. Melisandre uses sex to “hide the knife” from baby lamb Gondry, and the arousal in the ritual is less of a requirement then means to get a leech on to someone’s manhood. Tyrion does the good thing, but not necessarily the smart thing because of his word, to Shae that she will not be his whore, and in terms of the promise he made to Sansa that he would never hurt her. This situations in contrast with Mero of the Second Sons and his fairly uncomplicated relationship to the opposite sex seem to fit with the idea that unions in this episode had much more to do with big picture, as opposed to only personal desire.

As for Dany, she has not slept with her new comrade yet, but has seemingly had the hots for him since he called out her bluff. But seriously, Khal Drogo has been dead forever now. So, if you were Dany and an impossibly handsome and strategic knight comes along, kills the man who was calling you a common whore and asking to see your ladybits, and pledges his allegiance to you because he basically "loves beauty" wouldn't you also get with him?

2. Beyond the wall, Sam Tarly makes the first big revelation about the White Walkers since Jon Snow learned to set them on fire: While the big and mighty Night's Watch sword turns to powder when used against the undead, a tiny dagger dug up by a dog manages to do the trick. Could one read this as an allegory for Sam's entire existence (i.e. "It's not the size that matters, it's how you use it"; the whole "diamond in the rough" thing; that time Indiana Jones had to pick the cup of Jesus Christ to save his dad and it turned out to be the really plain one,) or is just another instance of fate intervening to keep this show's version of Hurley alive for comic relief?

First, there’s been some contention about White Walkers and wights. White Walkers are the mysterious and ancient beings from the far north. They can control dead bodies to do their biding, or in and AMC viewer’s terms they can make zombies (also, can’t believe there’s not many Walker/ White Walker fan fiction or memes being cooked up by Walking Dead and GoT fans).

Wasn’t what Jon Snow set on fire a reanimated corpse? Is this one of those logical problems, are we supposed to assume that if wights can be felled with fire, then so an White Walkers? All squares are rectangles, but not all squares can be killed with flames or dragon glass?

Speaking of dragon glass, that’s the answer to the question of whether last night’s confrontation said something about Sam’s character, or was merely just fate saving our favorite Crow. At the end of season two, it was Sam who recognized what the little daggers were made of, and that it was the First Men left who them there. Had Sam not been there, the White Walker kryptonite would have probably mistaken for junk. Ever the underdog, he sticks to his whole whole “the meek shall inherit” bit by literally sticking it to one of the most feared and powerful beings we have seen on the show. He’ll go on being my favorite accidental hero.

3. It's wedding season in Westeros! Tyrion marries Sansa, Joffrey is set to marry Margaery Tyrell and his mom is going to marry Margaery's brother, Ser Loras. While Cersei might have The Rains of Castamere playing on repeat, Lady Olenna is taking a certain kind of glee in performing her own version of "I'm My Own Grandpa." Chart out--if it's humanely possible--the new extended Lannister family tree. Bonus points for when the branches don't fork.

4. Melisandre is getting less impressive every episode. She starts out the series by being immune to poison and using her lady powers to destroy Stannis' enemy by having their ghost baby to kill his brother. But when asked why they can't just do that to all the usurpers now, the Red Priestess tells the would-be king that he's "not strong enough."

We know the Lord of Light can do some awesome things like bring people back from the dead and set swords on fire, but is there a chance Melisandre is just a con artist nympho with a theatrical streak? Or do we still believe in her Theodoric of York-brand mysticism?

With all the Lord of Light hysteria at camp Stannis, and utter devotion to the cause (remember, non-believers are usually burned at the stake), it seems this season we’ve seen Melisandre talk the witchy zealot talk more than we’ve seen her walk the birthing-a-smoke-monster-baby walk. What Stannis questioned Davos with in this episode rings true, if we have seen truly miraculous things from the Red Priestess (and now others involved with the LoL), can we question the existence of her god?

Melisandre repeats this before she beds Gondry, that you only need “eyes to see” to accept god as real. For some people (Stannis) only need faith, for some others (Davos) they need proof. In these terms, the ritual she performs has more than one goal. There’s definitely lots of “because the LoL has willed it and Stannis is the true king” rhetoric, but it’s also crafty hocus pocus to squash questioning from one of Stannis’ closest friends. Many will still be asking Melisandre to show them the receipts, but the way that blood exploded out of the Joffrey leech seems to foreshadow some awful fate approaching for everyone’s favorite child king/sociopath/serial killer. If that comes to fruition, let’s stick with this Lord of Light guy.

5. How are we feeling about Dany's new buddy, the sellsword/lady killer (not literally), Daario Naharis? As sexy as it is to bring in your cohorts heads in a bag to prove your loyalty to a chick you just met because you "fight for beauty," his profession alone makes his motives dubious. (Although sellswords seem to be incredibly loyal in Game of Thrones...just look at Bronn!)

What would be the modern day pick-up method equivalent to Naharis' pledge of alliance to Dany? Is he more Mystery Method or "Hey Girl?" Discuss.