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Drew Grant

Lazy porn parodies

Zero percent effort.

Let’s Make Up Names for The Game of Thrones Porn Parody!

Oh, you knew this was coming. If there was someone out there willing to make a porn parody of HBO’s Girls, which in itself already kind of a porn parody (albeit one that makes you very uncomfortable and P.S. Lena Dunham did not appreciate being stepped to like that), it was only a matter of time until someone lazy came up with a pornographic version of Game of Thrones, a TV show that’s so NSFW to begin with that Huffington Post came up with a whole slide show about it.

Still, if one can make money off a porny web series called Game of Bones…Oh wait, you say, Game of Bones is a terrible porn name? That Game of Boners would have at least been funny? Do you think you can write a better porn name?

So do we. Read More

girls

Jennifer Westfeldt and Michael Zegen (Getty Images)

Dream Cast for Season 3 of GIRLS: Boardwalk Empire‘s Bugsy, Jon Hamm’s Lady Friend

Even though the third season of HBO’s polarizing portrayal of 20-something shaudenfreude won’t air until next January, don’t despair. GIRLS (which, fun fact, was actually shortened from the original title No, Don’t You Get it, She’s Making a Commentary ABOUT the Awfulness of this Generation’s GIRLS) has already started leaking some of their casting choices, and they look fabulous. We might already have a replacement Charlie, and Jennifer Westfeldt of Kissing Jessica Stein and Friends With Kids fame* will be making a cameo. Let the guessing games begin! Read More

Celebrity interviews

Video

Jesse Eisenberg makes girls cry. (YouTube)

Jesse Eisenberg, at Least Some of the Time, to Interviewers, is a Jerk (Video)

Jesse Eisenberg has been labeled a “jerk” after insulting Univision’s Romina Puga on her show, Say My Name With Romina. (Roh-mee-nah? Row-mih-nah?) Promoting his new movie Now You See Me, Mr. Eisenberg acted like a real Mark Zuckerberg (as portrayed by Jesse Eisenberg) while chastising Ms. Puga for referring to Morgan Freeman as “Freeman,” and then, later, referring to her as “The Carrot Top of Interviewers.” Read More

Game of Thrones

Illustration by Alex Bedder.

Five Essay Prompts for Game of Thrones 3×9: ‘The Rains of Castamere’

These questions regard last night’s episode of HBO’s Game of Thrones. Please answer the prompts with specific examples from LAST NIGHT’S EPISODE, though supplementary material will be accepted as a secondary source. Please write legibly. No. 2 pencils only. You have an hour to finish this test. See below for questions and sample responses.

1. So after the dust settles, the blood congeals and everyone has done screaming “Holy shit” and swearing they’re breaking up with the show, we’ll all have to admit that not only was the Red Wedding an outcome fully in line with the themes and tone of the show (nowhere is safe, words/promises are just illusions, love does not last) but that it was also very clearly telegraphed by the scenes leading up to it. If you had not read the books, what would have tipped you off the most that something truly devastating was about to happen, and why? Suggestions: Walder’s obvious contempt for Talisa; his line “the wine will flow red”; Roose Bolton’s sobriety (and everything else about Roose Bolton); the fact that everyone seemed to be happy, for once; the title of the episode.

Can we actually just press pause to take a breather here? I know there was no episode last week (although, to paraphrase a friend, there was a nice fan fiction episode in which Jaime Lannister ends up in servitude to Michael Douglas playing my bubby), but last night packed enough developmental and emotional wallop to outdo even the first-season climax of Ned Stark losing his head. So please … just a moment of respect. Read More

Celebrity Detox

Philip Seymour Hoffman (Getty Images)

Philip Seymour Hoffman in Heroin Rehab For Totally Appropriate Amount of Time

Philip Seymour Hoffman, the Oscar-winning star of Capote, recently revealed that he has spent the past year spiraling out of a prescription drug habit and into a week-long heroin snorting binge. That Mr. Hoffman, whose iconic voice and posture has been imitated by many, also disclosed (to TMZ.com) that he had struggled with drug issues in the past and had fallen off the wagon after 23 years clean only serves to make the amount of time the actor spent in detox more confusing. Read More

Fashion

Is this model "too skinny?" (H&M)

H&M CEO Admits Models Were ‘Too Skinny’; ‘Just Thin’ Ones Get Free Pass

Karl-Johan Persson, the “young, handsome CEO” of H&M, recently gave an interview to Metro (probably because of their ability to report objectively), during which he finally addressed the longstanding industry problem of anorexia. While admitting that H&M had previously employed models that were “too thin,” Mr. Persson that trumpeted his company’s use of “curvier” models…like Beyonce.

Also, they still plan to use “just thin” models…as long as they weren’t purposefully underweight. So…nothing changes!

The full quote, below: Read More