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John Rosenthal

Voluntary Testing For Baseball’s Hulks

When it was revealed that Yankee slugger Jason Giambi used steroids, Major League Baseball pretended to be stunned. The club owners all professed to be shocked- shocked!-by Mr. Giambi’s admission and pledged to get steroids out of the game.  And the baseball players’ union got all contrite and made an unprecedented offer to reopen the Read More

War’s Supporters Can’t Bear Argument

Argument, as Monty Python once put it, is an intellectual process, while contradiction is just the automatic gainsaying of any statement the other person makes. A grave decision like waging war should surely be the result of reasoned argument in which a range of views is considered. But the debate over the current war has Read More

Who’s on Second? It Should Be Jeter!

It’s heresy to say it, but with the addition of Alex Rodriguez to the Yankees’ star-studded lineup, Derek Jeter should move to second base.

As the Yanks prepare for the season opener in just a few days, it should be clear why this move ought to be made: A-Rod is the better defensive shortstop, Read More

Beware of Readers Bearing Almanacs

Just before New Year’s Day, the F.B.I. issued a warning to local police departments, telling them to watch out for people carrying almanacs. These books, the agency warned, contained information that terrorists might use for nefarious purposes.

It’s about time the feds realized how much subversive information is contained in almanacs. Some of us may Read More

Democrats Must Find A Big-Time Brawler

If you want to know who’s going to win November’s Presidential election, just look for the candidate who can physically kick his opponent’s butt. It may sound facetious, but with the elections of former pro wrestler Jesse Ventura and, now, former bodybuilder Arnold Schwarzenegger, it’s clear that voters believe that might makes right.

Politicians have Read More

The Wait’s Over At D.M.V. Office

On the great scale of seriously dreaded events, a visit to the Department of Motor Vehicles office has long ranked somewhere between a week-long cruise with the in-laws and a shopping trip to Fairway on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving.

Even jury duty, with its high-minded civic ideal of sitting in judgment of your fellow Americans, Read More

Yankees Haunted By Curse of Nixon

Here’s a quiz, Yankee fans:

To bring a World Series championship back to New York in the near future, George Steinbrenner should:

a) fire Brian Cashman and bring back Bob Watson.

b) fire Joe Torre and let him go to the Red Sox, who would be only too happy to tweak the Boss Read More

No Language Bar For Los Amazin’s

You’re doing laps on the cable and you land on Fox Sports New York, one of the stations that carries the Mets. At first, everything is reassuring: the view from the center-field camera, the pitcher toeing the rubber, the batter readjusting his helmet, a kid eating a hot dog in the stands.

But something’s not Read More