[Posted on Dailykos.com, June 21, 2003, 10:29 a.m.]

Who posted the above accusations? None other than Wesley Clark Jr., the general's kid. The candidate-of-the-moment's son is a 33-year-old screenwriter, lives in L.A., handsome guy like his dad, shuns the media.

"I just don't want to be that guy in the press," Mr. Clark said, his voice a mix of Arkansas and gravel. "I'm married, I'm having a baby in January, and we just want a quiet, simple life. I'm a writer because I don't like being all that public."

But if you search the bloggy ether, you'll find some of his musings on Dailykos.com, a salon for liberal wonks. Like many news junkies, he's got some strong opinions. "I don't even know where to go on that," Mr. Clark said when asked about Iraq. "I don't think the country should have gone in there. They weren't a threat to us!"

Mr. Clark was himself a soldier once and doesn't consider himself a radical. He said he's worried that "Bushco"-his shorthand for the Bush administration and its allies at Halliburton, the Carlyle Group, etc.-has led the U.S. astray. "This country is heading off a cliff. And there's lot of people who can see we're heading off a cliff, and there's everybody else who's just in complete denial," he said.

The answer? Dad, of course!

"I honestly think, if anyone's going to solve the country's problems, he's going to do it," Wes Jr. said. "I was pushing him to run stronger than anyone. I said, 'Look, I served in the Army for four years, you served in the Army for 32 years, how can you not step forward and do this?' And, you know, maybe I guilt-tripped him into it."

Which is not to say that Wes Jr.'s views have always fallen into neat formation behind his father's. "I lean farther left than my dad," he said, adding that he voted for Ralph Nader in the 2000 election.

Life in L.A. has been pretty good. He said he has four projects in development right now with Warner Brothers, Radiant Pictures, Robert Cort Productions and Three Arts Entertainment. One of them, called Cold Shelter , is about a patriotic C.I.A. agent who heads to Cold War Germany to infiltrate a gang of bad guys, only to question the values of the government he had always fought to uphold.

Wes Jr. was born in Jacksonville, Fla., while his dad was in Vietnam. He was raised on military bases throughout the U.S. and Europe during the Cold War. Back then, he said, he was "somewhat of a conservative, because when you grow up in the military, you grow up with all the other kids, and it's a very conservative kind of world." He did four years at Georgetown's School of Foreign Service, four years in the U.S. Army. It was only after he retired his fatigues that his views began to thaw. "When I was 22 years old, I thought I knew everything that the world was about, and I really didn't," he said. "Conservatism is all about emotion, because it just doesn't make sense. It doesn't make sense that you'd want to live in a society that's Darwinian-especially when you don't believe in evolution.

"But these are just my opinions; they're not my dad's," he added. "It's like giving ammunition to Karl Rove if I open my mouth and say the wrong thing! I mean, you've got to understand-I didn't think my dad was going to run, even the day before the announcement. So I never really thought I'd be in a situation where my words would be parsed."

Which might explain why he felt free during the summer to post on Dailykos.com. In these postings, he offered tangy observations on the Bush Presidency, along with insider insights into his father's policy positions. "He won't be running as a Republican. He IS NOT campaigning for a VP slot," he wrote in a July 9 post. "He's stated that … he's pro-choice, that he's pro-affirmative action, that he's pro-union, that the tax code should remain progressive, that multilateral solutions should be found for the world's security concerns, that he was against the decision to go to war in Iraq and that we need stronger social safety nets. I don't know what other positions people need to find out which direction he leans but it seems fairly clear to me."

Before long, Web crawlers began posing as "Wesley Clark Jr." and serving up some outlandish morsels on Dailykos.com, including a petulant exchange with someone claiming to be "Howard Dean IV." "Okay, if your dad is so tough, why did he spend his Vietnam years skiing in Aspen while my father took four bullets in Vietnam?" sniffed the "Wes Jr." impostor.

Until now, Wes Jr.'s name has raised few eyebrows in L.A.. "People out here, they really don't know anything about the military unless they were in it," he said. "Before, if someone thought, 'Hey, isn't that guy's dad the head of NATO?', they'd think it was the North American Theaters Association."

But with Dad emerging as the Democratic front-runner, pushed into the limelight by ClintonCo, Wes Jr. may be in for some trying times. For most of his life, he was fairly insulated from his father's public persona, though he did date a Serbian woman while General Clark was dropping bombs on Belgrade, and that was complicated. "I still can't quite get a handle on it," he said.

-Lizzy Ratner

Prisoner or Manhattan Single?

Think you can judge a person from a personal ad? The following personals were posted by either A) New York City–area singles on the Web site Nerve.com or B) convicts on the Web site Writeaprisoner.com. Can you guess which are city singles and which are incarcerated?

1. "Chemistry is something you can't predict. You either feel that spark or not. That said, I'm looking for someone smart, kind, and attractive with a quick sense of humor? I'm searching for an equally adventurous person. Hopefully your knowledgeable about the arts and well-read."

2. "I enjoy music, drawing, walks in the moonlight, good company, and conversation, along with romantic evenings with that special someone. I hope that I've caught someone's attention, and look forward to hearing from you!"

3. "I paint, draw, work in wood and just tinker with all kinds of mediums. I like meeting eccentric people with alternative lifestyles, as well as down to earth individuals. I'm a Cancer, very loyal and genuine, left handed, free spirit always in a good mood. Not into games or fake people."

4. "I'm looking for a guy who is good looking not gorgeous-at this point I'm looking more for the chemistry to be right … a person that is able to have a great conversation no matter what the topic is. I am not in to the bar scene I think is very impersonal. I'm not looking for a one night stand, I recently was in a serious relationship for five years that ended about a year a go. I am not in to playing games. I like someone who is honest no matter what the outcome is."

5. "I consider myself kind, loving, caring, sensitive, affectionate, and very understanding, with a heart filled with love to give that special person. I am looking to meet new people from all walks of life, to share thoughts, feelings, ideas, interests, and hopefully become friends. During my free time I enjoy reading, computer, Playstation, writing, and listening to music. I love the rainy nights, rainbows, waterfalls, and moonlit walks on the beaches. My favorite color is red and my favorite flower is a rose. I am a spiritual person."

6. "Can you go dancing till dawn and enjoy a museum. Are you willing to try new things just for the experience. Are you more concerned with being yourself than what others think. Are you an individual and not just part of the crowd. Do you have stories that make you who you are. Do you understand that everyone has faults and can love them just the same. Do you understand that we only go around once in this life and want to make the best of it."

7. "I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own. If you can dance with the wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, to remember the limitation of being human. I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it, fade it, or fix it. If you can love without judgment, seek for your own desires, and open yourself to one soul. If you can then I am 'the one.' My invitation is sealed to thee, open if you please. I am an erotic, 25 year old seeking the depth of life and love and pleasures beyond reality."

8. "Mostly I've been in the restaurant business, but my real passion is bridge. I'm a life master, accredited teacher, certified director, and give both class and private lessons. I also write short stories and movie treatments. I'm a kind hearted person with loving children."

9. "I am humorous, tall, beautiful, sexy and statuesque. Beauty and brain in one package. And many friends of mine said that I am beautiful enough to be Miss China, but you will be the judge."

10. "I am a sincere man with a good sense of humor. I am well rounded and can hold a conversation on a variety of different topics. Open up yourself to me and I will listen."

11. "I'm open-minded, sense of humor, and warm-hearted. I enjoy drawing, art shows, writing, music, jogging, sports, classic movies, cooking, fishing, outdoor activities, rainy days, and quiet evenings. I have a great sense of humor and charming personality."

12. "I am very respectful, caring, honest, devoted, and loving man who enjoys making others happy as well as myself. I like reading, writing, yoga and working out. I am seeking a mature female who is honest, very outspoken, down to earth, and has a great sense of humor, and is confident in all choices she makes in life."

13. "I am looking for a strong (mentally) man, with sense of humor, easy going and sensitive."

14. "As for myself, I am fun-loving, athletic, and (I like to think) intelligent. I enjoy lifting weights and playing a variety of sports. I also enjoy clubbing and dancing. The beach, camping and the casino are also a few other interests I have. I'm always willing to try something new."

ANSWERS

1. New York single. 2. Prisoner (burglary). 3. Prisoner (murder). 4. New York single. 5. Prisoner (trafficking cocaine). 6. New York single. 7. Prisoner (aggravated robbery). 8. Prisoner (second-degree murder). 9. New York single. 10. New York single. 11. Prisoner (attempted burglary, second-degree). 12. Prisoner (homicide). 13. New York single. 14. Prisoner (breaking and entering).

-Ken Moy

Travel Guide

I couldn't care less about Ireland, even though I'm half Irish. In fact, I have no interest in EVER visiting any country or continent, unless I'm being paid. Except Japan, Thailand, Tahiti … no, Indonesia is off the list. 'Cause there's insane people there who want me dead. Maybe-MAYBE-I'll check out England one day. I did Rome-eight days was more than enough. Communist freaks. Paris? Most memorable experience there besides a nice park I went to (Central Park kicks its ass) was when I took a dump in a bidet, then bagged the shit and hurled it out my window onto a roof. Hope it's still there. My three days in Gstaad were miserable even though I banged a nanny. Bahamas, been there three times, got bit by a hermit crab. Canada and Alaska, sure, love to. Mexico? Fuck that. South America? Negative. Africa? Nope, never. Missed my 15th-year high-school reunion and my good buddy's wedding because I didn't much feel like traveling to Connecticut. See, I like to be within walking distance of my pad and my kitty. Australia? I'd rather spend two weeks in the Tombs. I'm cool with New York City, Kansas once a year, L.A. every three years.

-George Gurley

But the news that The Devil Wears Prada author Lauren Weisberger's second novel has been optioned by Simon and Schuster for $1 million–plus suggests a more layered phenomenon, a veritable psychological strudel. Call it second-degree Schadenfreude, or the pleasure of knowing that, while Ms. Weisberger's friends/enemies are doubtless freaking out, whipping themselves into positive froths of rationalization, self-loathing and Weisberger Weltschmerz (sadness over the evils and injustices of the world), you, not being in her immediate social circle, can analyze the information with crisp impartiality-grace, even.

A cartoon thought bubble of the sicko S.D.S. thought process might read: "Jeez, [insert name of known Weisberger 'friend' and nemesis] is probably feeling really bad today-thank God it's not me." It's downright freeing, if not ennobling.

What sweet relief not to be receiving those odd "sympathy" calls from well-meaning intimates who have read the media gossip and want to "check in" (a.k.a. "hear you unravel"), and not to have to act congratulatory, feigning a jaunty "you go, girl" attitude, etc., all the while privately seething. For we all have our own personal Weisbergers who come and nip at our heels in the night, like small dogs.

But this is Schadenfreude at a cool, objective remove.

"Picture a seesaw where you're in the middle and the two sides are shifting balance," said a 35-year-old child-development expert who lives in the West Village (bugaboos: Katie Roiphe and Demi Moore). "Your position doesn't change, but you can take pleasure in watching the two sides go up and down. And if you wait long enough, most people descend."

-Alexandra Jacobs

A Steady-Rollin' Man

"I was the white, blues Michael Jackson," Joe Bonamassa, the 26-year-old guitarist, said as he talked about what it was like to open concerts for B.B. King at age 12. Mr. Bonamassa was sitting at a sidewalk café on Lexington Avenue on an early fall afternoon, the week before he would open for Peter Frampton at Town Hall on Sept. 25. He had Chanel-imitation sunglasses perched atop his shoulder-length dirty-blond hair and was wearing an ivory polyester shirt, dark brown pants and black New Balance vintage sneakers. He waved away the waiter's offer of bread-twice. Not many Delta bluesmen are Atkins adherents and, indeed, Mr. Bonamassa lives in a Central Park West one-bedroom apartment with his corporate-lawyer girlfriend.

Mr. Bonamassa is a serious name-dropper. He casually talks about "B.B." (King), "Joe" (Cocker), "John Lee" (Hooker) and "T-Bone" (Walker). Since the summer of 1989, when he played a national tour with Mr. King, Mr. Bonamassa has shared stages with Bad Company, Foreigner, the Doobie Brothers, George Thorogood and Joe Cocker, among others.

"It's the lucky few guys who get to tour with their heroes," he said, his voice carrying a Southern twang imported from years on the road playing dusty clubs. (He was born in Utica, N.Y.) "I get to know them and hang out with them."

Mr. Bonamassa is a working musician. His songs don't circulate on the play lists of WPLJ, Hot 97 or TRL, which, he said, "all play about the same four songs." He's built a fan base by touring relentlessly-about 40 weeks a year for the past three years. His 2002 blues-rock album So, It's Like That , hit No. 1 on Billboard's Blues Chart; guttural guitar solos are becoming one of his signatures, evident on his new CD, Blues Deluxe . And even though U.S. Congress declared 2003 the "Year of the Blues," it's still a good time to be playing this music. On Sept. 28, Martin Scorsese will premiere The Blues , the first installment of a seven-part PBS series, including segments directed by Clint Eastwood and Mike Figgis. Microsoft co-founder Paul Allen is one of the executive producers.

Mr. Bonamassa's great-grandfather was a trumpet player in the Glenn Miller Orchestra during the 1940's, and his grandfather played trumpet in a naval band during the Korean War. "My dad, being a product of the late 60's, totally rebelled against jazz and took up guitar," he said. "I followed in his footsteps." He started playing at age 4.

In 1989, when NBC heard that a wee sprite was sharing the stage with B.B. King, they booked him on Real Life with Jane Pauley .

"America knew me as the pudgy little white kid that could play the guitar," he said.

"The show aired on a Sunday in prime time, and within 20 minutes, Columbia Records was on the phone," he said. "They must have looked up our number. I don't know how they tracked me down." Though Columbia didn't sign him, Mr. Bonamassa penned a deal with EMI the following year. He had just turned 13.

"My whole goal when I did my first gig was to make enough money to buy a Super Nintendo and new pickups for my guitar. Oh, and I still had my Communion money to use," he said.

He began to tour, fronting a band of middle-age musicians. At a tribute concert for Leo Fender, the founder of Fender Guitars, Mr. Bonamassa bumped into bassist Berry Oakley Jr., whose father had founded the Allman Brothers. The two got to talking, and together they formed the rock band Bloodline, with a lineup of music royalty that reads like the cast of a Fox reality show. Waylon Krieger, the son of Doors guitarist Robbie Krieger, played guitar, and Erin Davis, the son of Miles Davis, was on drums. Aaron Hagar, Sammy Hagar's son, sang vocals. "But he never made the record, because he was a total freak," Mr. Bonamassa said.

The band didn't totally hit it off, and after two years of touring to promote their eponymously named 1994 debut album and a stalled attempt to record a second album in 1997, Bloodline split. Mr. Bonamassa was 19.

"That was my first problem," he said. "I was like, 'What do I do now?'"

He decided he didn't want to spend the next few years in some regional band playing sweaty dives in Poughkeepsie and Columbus. He had to learn how to sing. After two years training with vocal coach Katie Agresta (she's prepped Jon Bon Jovi, among others), he cut his first solo album, A New Day Yesterday , in 2000.

"When I was in Bloodline, I realized what a bubble I was in," he said. "Then I put my own band together. Even under the flag of Sony music, you go out there and get your ass kicked. You're the third act on a shit-club bill with two other no-names-you're like, 'What is this?' I had to check my ego at the door."

Still, each night he hoisted his ax with a purpose.

"When you think of the blues, you have a very specific thing in your mind about who's playing it, what it's about," he said. "You probably think it's in some smoky dive bar, probably an old black guy, or a drinker and a smoker that has no sense of what's going on. I'm going to show I'm a younger dude playing this stuff.

"You ever watch Crossfire or Hannity and Colmes ?" he asked. "Blues is no different. Everybody has their own idea of what the blues really is. There's people on the left and people on the right. There's people who think that in order to sing the blues, you have to spend 40,000 miles riding some Greyhound bus through the Deep South.

"I pattern myself after B.B. so much," he said. "And Clapton, too. He's a blues guy. To me, Clapton is God. And when I'm 70, I want to be sitting here talking about how I've been playing 2,000-seat theaters all my life. If I can be the king of the 2,500-seat theater-the old-style classic theaters-I'll be the happiest guy in the world."

-Gabriel Sherman

Attention, Editors

O.K., you lazy magazine and newspaper editors, we all know you enjoy using movie titles as headlines. And the more amorphous the title, the better. Eyes Wide Shut ? God, you used that for years. Sex, Lies, and Videotape ? Still using it, and that movie came out when George Bush I was President. And so on.

Now there's a new movie title we just know you're champing at the bit to use: Lost in Translation . With the perfect subhead, you can use it for practically anything. "LOST IN TRANSLATION: Kerry Tries to Focus Message to Voters." "LOST IN TRANSLATION: Iraqi People Still Unsure about U.S. Presence." "LOST IN TRANSLATION: Blown Bunt by Matsui Dooms Yanks."

Since it's pretty cheap and hacky to use movie titles as headlines, we've come up with an arrangement that will make everyone feel better. We're going to institute a LOST IN TRANSLATION headline fee. If you decide to use LOST IN TRANSLATION as a headline, you must pay $5 to the New York World for usage rights. All proceeds will be sent to a charitable organization, maybe something that helps those poor J-students up at Columbia or something. Send the money to: LOST IN TRANSLATION Fee, c/o, New York World, The New York Observer , 54 East 64th Street, N.Y.C., N.Y. 10021.

All previous LOST IN TRANSLATION headline-writers will be billed.

-Ken Moy