So it was something of a surprise last week when two scandals burst beyond the carefully guarded walls of Dalton and Spence into the very public realm of New York's court system.

On Thursday, April 21, lawyers for 16-year-old Christopher Spaide and his parents, Drs. Richard and Chang Spaide, filed suit against the Dalton School for "arbitrarily and capriciously" suspending the high-school sophomore after he wrote a series of controversial "minutes" for a February student-government meeting. The suit alleges that the minutes-which the young Mr. Spaide wrote in his capacity as secretary of the student government-were intended as nothing more than playful "attempts at wit and satire." And it accuses the school of "irreparably" harming Mr. Spaide, demanding that Dalton expunge any reference to the scandal from his record.

As described in court documents, the young Mr. Spaide is a lifelong Daltonian and A-student with "exceptional intellectual abilities." But according to sources at the school, Mr. Spaide's minutes consisted of plenty of homophobic, anti-Semitic and racist commentary and included fabricated accounts of student-teacher affairs.

"It became a really big deal," said one source of the frenzy that gripped the school after Mr. Spaide's commentaries hit the Dalton Web site.

"I think we see this thing as a very unfortunate occurrence; nobody wants this thing played out in a courtroom," said Daniel Kurtz, an attorney with Holland and Knight, who is defending Dalton against the Spaides' lawsuit. "I think we very much regret that the family chose to pursue this in court, but we are prepared to say our piece in the courtroom and defend the school's course of action, which I think was absolutely correct here."

But Mr. Spaide's lawyer kicked the blame back to Dalton. "We are deeply disappointed in Dalton's response to a relatively minor incident involving a student publication, particularly when the school had an affirmative duty to monitor the writings before they were published," said Matthew Delforte. "He is an excellent student; they know he's not a bully."

Mr. Delforte and his clients are expected to meet with Dalton's attorneys in court for the first time on Friday, May 6.

Meanwhile, just two blocks north, on limestone-lined East 91st Street …

The Spence School, which is perhaps best known as the grooming ground of Gwyneth Paltrow, was hit on April 20 with a complaint by its former food-services chef, Jared Lewis. The complaint charges that the school "willfully and wrongfully" breached Mr. Lewis' employment agreement when it fired him on Dec. 16, 2004, and demands damages and benefits of nearly $42,000.

According to the complaint, Mr. Lewis is "a twenty-seven (27) year old University of Pennsylvania graduate with a background and interest in food service management and catering." He joined the school in August 2003, and earned rave reviews from faculty, parents and at least one student: In the fall of 2004, he began dating a 19-year-old former Spence girl who, apparently, had taken a keen liking to his chipped beef on rye.

On the evening of Nov. 23, Mr. Lewis joined this student and two of her 19-year-old friends at Sessions 73, an Upper East Side "jazz bar" (we're pretty sure that's an oxymoron) on First Avenue and 73rd Street. The underage gal and her two friends chatted and listened to music while Mr. Lewis had a drink, court papers said. A good time was had by all.

Ten days later, however, Spence's headmistress, Arlene Gibson-who is the wife of Good Morning America co-anchor Charles Gibson-called him into her office and questioned him. According to Mr. Lewis's complaint, she had heard "an unfounded and vicious rumor" that Mr. Lewis and his underage pals were drinking! Mr. Lewis insisted that he was the only drinker in the crowd, but in mid-December the school fired him.

Mr. Lewis's attorney, Bruce Menken, refused to comment on the case, and a spokesperson for Spence begged off, saying she was unaware of any lawsuit. But a source close to the story was able to provide this tidbit: Despite his diminished circumstances, Mr. Lewis and his Lolita are still together.

-Lizzy Ratner

London Bawling

A few former students of Hollywood acting coach Roy London got together for a good cry at the Soho Grand Hotel on Sunday night, after the Tribeca premiere of a documentary film memorializing their former teacher. It was a group-therapy session without the analyst; a good, old-fashioned smooch fest of a party honoring a great man who died too young. At certain moments throughout the night, Elizabeth Berkley wept in a corner. Hank Azaria sniffled at the bar. Arye Gross hung his head and stifled tears.

It was just the sort of evening Roy London would have loved.

According to the film, titled Special Thanks to Roy London after the final credit on The Larry Sanders Show-Mr. Sanders being another grateful student of the late coach-Mr. London was a man constantly in search of genuine emotion.

As Ms. Berkley told us: "He would hold up a mirror to you and say, 'This is who you are. Don't ever waver from that. Stand in it. As an artist, find your voice and sing it loud. Because you'll never exist in a form like yours ever again.'"

In the film, the Showgirls star describes how he would also hold up a mirror to her before every private acting lesson and force her to wipe off the makeup she used to slather on her face as an aspiring starlet. He told her to act natural, to find who she really is, to "bring her soul closer to her skin."

While talking, Ms. Berkley held The Transom's forearm. Likewise, other actors and the filmmakers themselves appeared eager for human contact all night, hugging and tapping and warmly petting each other's heads as they remembered stories about Mr. London. All through the evening, we were surprised to find ourselves part of an A-list snuggle.

"His whole modus operandi was about giving," said Karen Montgomery, one of the film's producers, while absent-mindedly rubbing our back. "His gift in life was to empower other people. It was just an incredibly generous state of consciousness to be in on this planet."

Mr. London, a man with the looks and spirit of a Keebler elf, was Ms. Montgomery's acting coach until his death at the age of 50. He also taught Sharon Stone, Jeff Goldblum, Brad Pitt, Patrick Swayze and half the rest of the Screen Actors Guild. He used to tell them that all human actions are motivated by one of two things: love and power. He knew he was a celebrity among acting coaches, but he shunned the spotlight, giving only two known tape-recorded interviews about his acting techniques in his life.

Mr. Azaria told us Mr. London is responsible for every one of his successful roles, from Apu on The Simpsons to Agadore in The Birdcage. He remembered "one class very early on. I was looking at him with some reverential look on my face. And he looked at me and said, 'What are you looking at?' I was mortified. And he said, 'Wipe that look off your face.' It was clear he was there to make you better at acting. He happened to be brilliant while he was doing it, but he never wanted that kind of attention."

Which is perhaps the one thing Mr. London wouldn't have liked about his big party-the flash of the klieg lights, the air kisses exchanged by B-listers and the red-carpet parade of at least 10 film, television and theater stars, at least nine of whom actually stayed for the film (tsk tsk, Jeff Goldblum; don't think we weren't paying attention … ).

Christopher Monger, the film's director, said the draw of this and other documentaries is that "real emotion isn't being shown in movies anymore. It's almost baroque. If you watch TV shows, people will take their glasses off and say a line. I mean, no one actually does that. But with documentaries, people are seeing real emotion, they're going, 'Oh, yeah, that's what that looks like."

Mr. Monger said no one pulls out real emotion quite like Mr. London, at least from those who knew the man personally before he succumbed to AIDS in 1993. Then he took a sip of his martini, reached for The Transom's wrist, and wiped away a tear.

-Rebecca Dana

The Blame Game

"Journalism is very much like ninth grade in the locker room on Monday morning," reflected Kurt Eichenwald, the New York Times reporter and author of Conspiracy of Fools: A True Story. "No one wants to admit that all that happened on Saturday night was nothing."

Mr. Eichenwald, whose book is the most recent in a long list of Enron autopsies, was on the phone discussing business reporters who heaped praise on the now-bankrupt company in the late 90's without noticing that it was a house of cards. But he might as well have been describing the petty rivalries between fellow journalists, some of whom have accused Mr. Eichenwald of going easy on Ken Lay and Jeffrey Skilling, Enron's chairman and president, respectively.

"In Conspiracy of Fools, Lay and Skilling aren't really aware of what's going on and [Enron C.F.O.] Andy Fastow is the bad guy," summarized Peter Elkind, the co-author of The Smartest Guys in the Room, another Enron book, which came out in 2003. The mild-mannered journalist was standing in the dining room of the Hotel Plaza Athénée on April 13 at a reception to celebrate Enron: The Smartest Guys in the Room, the new documentary based on his book (co-written with Bethany McLean), answering questions from a crowd that included Norman Pearlstine, Tina Brown and Harry Evans, Eamonn Bowles, Marcia Gay Harden, Steve Kroft and Terry McDonell. "They're all scumbags!" shouted one guest.

Several days later, Mr. Elkind described over the phone how some Ken Lay defenders showed up at a recent screening of the movie in Houston to complain about the film's damning portrayal of the fallen executive, holding up Mr. Eichenwald's book as an example of someone who had done the story differently. "They were asking, 'Well, how can you blame these guys? It's not their fault.' We said that's nonsense. It's not just Lay running the company and making $300 million, but specifically authorizing Fastow to set up these partnerships." Mr. Elkind added that Conspiracy "ignores the direct role that Ken Lay and Stilling played in a whole lot of events."

Needless to say, Mr. Eichenwald sees things differently. "Has anyone argued with any of my facts? Not once. No one wants to engage the facts," he said, explaining that he has not yet seen the documentary, though he is familiar with Mr. Elkind's book. "Do I present some caricature that these are the most evil people to walk the face of the earth? No, it doesn't do that …. The reason that Fastow looks so bad is that he was constructing most of the deals. Was he doing this by himself? No, it's clear that others were involved …. The real question is: Does my book exonerate Ken Lay criminally for the charges he actually faces, not the charges dreamed up by some Congressmen or in the minds of some journalists who don't understand the rules? No."

-Marcus Baram

James Atlas, author of the unauthorized biography Bellow, characterized the novelist as "a difficult uncle" and recalled a man who was "very engaging, very lively, at times rather tart and intolerant. He was never dull.

"If you take the long view and assemble the syllabus of American literature of the last two centuries, he'll occupy a very high place," Mr. Atlas continued. He ranked Bellow with such masters as Hemingway and Melville.

But Mr. Atlas also noted that Bellow's work and the distinctly Jewish-American literary tradition he represented-along with Philip Roth and Bernard Malamud-had recently been overshadowed by new American voices (Ha Jin, Jhumpa Lahiri) bearing their own immigrant backgrounds. Bellow himself would have agreed, Mr. Atlas noted. "He said to me once, 'I had no idea our moment would be so brief.'"

-I-Huei Go

New Wave

In a mottled gray-brown unitard and a three-pronged crown adorned with shells from Fire Island, King Neptune delicately sipped champagne through a bendy straw. It pays to dress, apparently at the Downtown Arts Club's First Annual Beaux Arts Ball. The king's aquatic attire earned him access to the V.I.P. dinner prior to the ball. Sadly, his waist-long curly gray beard and mustache prevented him from partaking in the meal, which one V.I.P. in a leopard pillbox hat likened to "one of those meals you get on a train in Japan." V.I.P.'s munched their bento boxes mere steps away from the art students who were sweating over handmade floats. The climax of the Downtown Arts Club's Beaux Arts Ball was a competition between students from F.I.T., S.V.A., Pratt, N.Y. Academy of Art and the New York Studio School. Each group of six fledgling artists built movable meditations on the theme of beauty in the hope of winning a weeklong trip to Paris.

The two-year-old Downtown Arts Club, so dedicated to the promotion of downtown arts and culture that they threw their ball at the Manhattan Center on 34th Street, is a "real community of artists and sailors," said Lita Talarico, co-chair of the M.F.A. design program at S.V.A.

"Sailors? Here? I had no idea," said a silver-haired gallery owner surveying the crowd, which ranged from tuxedoed gents to art students in sunglasses to the obligatory man in a kilt. Think yachts-not the white-suited Fleet Week cuties in midtown. It turns out that the Downtown Arts Club has more interest in water than watercolors; it's the land-bound baby of the Manhattan Sailing Club.

Architect Joe Serrins came for the "free drinks, naked students and older people in tuxedos." So far he'd glimpsed his fill of black ties, but nary an ounce of bare flesh. Mr. Serrins used his old art-school ID (which he produced as evidence) to procure deeply discounted $10 tickets to the otherwise dear affair. The long-haired 18-year-old hippie photographed on the ID bore no resemblance to the shorn 30-year-old dandy in the hound's-tooth suit holding it. But then again, he confessed, "I don't even know what the Downtown Arts Club is."

At midnight, the floats sailed down the ramp from the stage to the judges' feet. F.I.T.'s entry, replete with a billowing white sheet and doves hanging from a silver-haired mannequin, was trailed by a gaggle of lovelies who strutted to "Free Your Mind" by En Vogue. The next float featured cracked mirrors and bulky sculptures to the accompaniment of tantric music. "Are they from DeVry?" one on-looker asked The Transom.

The crowd went wild for the S.V.A. entry, which featured cancan girls and automated puppets lip-synching to Cabaret. We found it a tad disconcerting to hear the voice of Natasha Richardson coming out of a feathery mechanized ball with moving human lips. The participants from N.Y. Academy of Art watched in horror from the wings with the knowledge that they were to follow this act. They persevered with a re-enactment of Ovid's Pygmalion and Galatea. Catching a glimpse of the white-powdered student body portraying the statue Galatea, Mr. Serrins' desires for the evening were fulfilled: "Finally, some naked people!" A woman from ArtReview remarked, "That's the best one, the most interesting and conceptual-with the potential to be a total disaster." Galatea was also a big hit with the sailors.

The winners were announced by Commodore Michael Fortenbaugh of the Manhattan Sailing Club: Six S.V.A. students will be setting sail for Paris this summer.

"If this was American Idol, we all could have voted," a departing attendee grumbled. "The Beaux Arts Ball is definitely not a populist movement." And with that we bid the Downtown Arts Club adieu and headed, well, downtown.

-Raquel Hecker

Kosher Couture

The "Magical: A Fashion Gala to Benefit Israel" was more than half over last Wednesday night by the time we made it to the bar at Avalon, the church turned nightclub on 20th Street in the Flatiron district.

And honestly, what better place to gather a few hundred Jews for a silent auction and a kosher nosh than in the nave of a Gothic cathedral? "What's cool is, this is not really a Jewish event," said Keren Simon, one of the members of the Israel Humanitarian Foundation's young leadership committee, which helped organize the benefit. "Everyone's here to support Israel. That's such an important cause-it doesn't matter who you are or where you're from."

Agreeing wholeheartedly and abandoning our fight for a cocktail, The Transom set about schmoozing with partygoers, hoping to relive our Hebrew-school days and revel in the crowd's mutually assured Zionism. The first person we met was Kristen Cosmi, a Hawaiian who was walking around the party showing off a feathery handbag. Ms. Cosmi was one of the models in the fashion show, the main attraction of the evening. We asked for her thoughts on the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. "I'm gonna stay pretty neutral on that," she told us. "All I'll say is, any cause that helps women and children is a good thing." Hmm! She's more diplomatic than Hillary Clinton-who was listed as an honorary co-chair of the event but was nowhere to be found that night-and certainly better poised in a pair of stilettos. Any interest in politics? "No," she demurred, flouncing off to demonstrate her purse.

We tried others-only the best or most curiously dressed in the crowd-but each turned out to be far more equivocating than we'd hoped. Elisabeta Stoilova, a Bulgarian and a fashion-design major at the Fashion Institute of Technology in New York, said Israel "seems like a pretty cool country." Cara Roberts, a model and former intern for ABC News, gave a complicated theory on the geopolitics of the Middle East, concluding: "It's a conflict that goes back to biblical times. It's just a matter of how you deal with it continually." She was modeling a business suit mysteriously covered in nautical-looking ropes. ("What's this about?" The Transom asked. "I wish I knew," she answered). Her companion, Dafne Rotolo, strutted around in a viciously ugly coat with cuffs and collar made of plywood. Her thoughts on the situation? Pointing to Ms. Roberts, she declared, "What she said." Skipping the man mysteriously davening in the corner, we put away a few roast-beef sandwich triangles and headed into the V.I.P. tent backstage, where the other models were donning dresses donated by such fashion heavyweights as Isaac Mizrahi and … Lithuanian designer Josef Statkus? No matter. The crowd was warm. The food was dry. Mayor Bloomberg had sent his regards via photocopied letter in the press packet. Satisfied with the evening, we picked up our swag bag-containing such inoffensive delights as a shampoo and conditioner sample for "curly, frizzy and relaxed hair"-bade farewell to the models and to our fellow frizzy-haired tribesmen and headed home.

-Rebecca Dana

The Politics of Dancing

Trying to unseat Public Advocate Betsy Gotbaum is becoming something of a local sport these days. While elected Democrats in New York often face only a token challenge, Ms. Gotbaum now has three men running against her: civil-liberties lawyer Norman Siegel, Bronx Assemblyman Michael Benjamin and now Andrew Rasiej, who may not be a household name but is well known to veterans of the city's nightlife scene and to aficionados of Internet politics.

Mr. Rasiej, an earnest 46-year-old, may still be best known around Union Square, however, for creating the nightclub Irving Plaza and, with it, the city's Nightlife Association. The association continues to battle City Hall on issues like Mayor Michael Bloomberg's smoking ban and the archaic cabaret laws that forbid dancing in bars. And last summer, Mr. Rasiej attracted some attention for his efforts to get Bruce Springsteen, an outspoken critic of the war in Iraq, to perform at Giants Stadium on Sept. 1, during the Republican National Convention.

-Ben Smith

The Transom Also Hears …

… that the universe didn't explode the other night, despite the collision of several high-profile egos. Lindsay Lohan finally ran into ex-boyfriend Wilmer Valderrama at Suede, the Chelsea lounge, after their near-miss encounter several weeks ago, when Ms. Lohan veered away from the space after hearing that he was there. On Saturday, April 2, Ms. Lohan was already at the club when her former amour showed up and the duo, and their respective groups, proceeded to engage in that traditional teenage ritual dramatized in countless music videos: the dance-off. "They were trying to show off in front of each other-she was dancing in one corner and he was in the other corner," says our source. "They'd glance at each other and look away-it was very high school." Later in the evening, Ms. Lohan ran into another nemesis, accident-prone publicist Lizzie Grubman, who was caught on film phoning in an item about Ms. Lohan to the gossips at the New York Post's Page Six. But rest easy: In the end there was no catfight, and the felines slinked away to their respective corners for the rest of the night. Whew!

-Marcus Baram

Taking care of business, Mr. Cook announced that the brothers would be leaving Miramax, and its library, behind at Disney. Then, Mr. Weinstein took the opportunity to let off a little steam, detailing some of the slights he felt while trapped in the Disney regime.

"First, we'll start with the Bravo/IFC situation," he said, dovetailing into a description of his plans for a "fully integrated multimedia company." "I think Bob and I are incredibly entrepreneurial, and I think in our new role we'll be more entrepreneurial. We brought a cable company, at I think a very modest price, to the [Disney]. We were turned down on that. We also had the ability. Lord of the Rings- we understand that decision. That's a movie situation. Artisan Entertainment-we had ability to buy that company with other people's money, to own their video library. And there was some frustration in our efforts in that situation."

And then Mr. Weinstein let go with his final parting shot at Michael Eisner, who was recently succeeded by Bob Iger.

"Let me say that I think at the new Disney, I think that those entrepreneurial efforts will be met with a stronger response. So that's the irony of this deal. What I think that Bob and I were trying to do was take the Miramax outfit and turn it into a $5 billion asset-as opposed to what I believe is probably a $2 billion asset today."

Forget those quaint notions of being the next Louis B. Mayer-the Messrs. Weinstein seem to harbor Murdochian dreams.

"The notion of Bob and I being so-called independent producers is not what were doing. We're building a multimedia company just the way we always envisioned it would be."

And, of course, they'll have help along the way. The brothers Weinstein have put together an "honorary advisory committee" filled with old allies, beginning with Steve Rattner, head of the Quandrangle Group, and Cablevision's Jim Dolan (these days, Mike Bloomberg's biggest nemesis). Then there are the money guys, Dirk Ziff of Ziff Brothers Investments and Paul Tudor Jones. And rounding out the cast is Tarak Ben Ammar, a media mogul and advisor to Rupert Murdoch and Silvio Berlusconi, J. Crew chairman and C.E.O. Millard Drexler, movie producer Arnon Milchan, Triarc chairman Nelson Peltz, and well, Robert Redford and Paul Newman.

"Any board with Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, as far we're concerned, is a good group of people," he said, laughing.

-Jake Brooks

The Son Also Rises

When his first son was born 22 years ago, Governor George Pataki named him Teddy, after Teddy Roosevelt, the trust-busting Rough Rider and one of his inspirations to enter politics. The young Pataki is currently a strapping popular senior at Yale, where he is following in the footsteps of not only his father, a 1967 grad, but also his sister Emily, who graduated in 2001. (And his younger sister, Alison, is a sophmore at the college.) While there, he's certainly earned the admiration of his parents. Last August, when he finished his Marine Corps training which could earn him an officer's commission (and a trip to Iraq) when he graduates from Yale this May, his father crowed, "We're just very proud of him." Until now, perhaps.

Like many of his fellow students, Teddy is a member of thefacebook.com, a collegiate Friendster where students post profiles listing their classes, their dorms, their favorite music (Def Leppard, Led Zeppelin, Metallica), movies (Lord of the Rings, Black Hawk Down) and books, and in which they form groups according to their interests. The young Pataki is one of three officers-his title is "United States Marine and Professional Killer"-of a group entitled "AMERICA! … FUCK YEAH!!!" which describes itself as: "We are Americans. We can do what we want when we want to and can say whatever the fuck we want about foreigners. 'Suck my balls world'-America. Those who are proud to say they love America and will fight anyone who threatens her. We'll help anyone who is ashamed to be an American pack if you'll just leave and promise to never come back."

Soon after, "in response to those loonies at AMERICA! … FUCK YEAH!!!," another group of Yale students formed the group "YEAH! FUCK AMERICA!!!"

Their officers, "The Udder Offensive" and "North Korean Pussy," seem slightly more ironic in their posturing. And in an embodiment of the kind of obsessive self-reflection that seems to define the contemporary American liberal, they are also members of the latest group in the saga: "Fuck the 'Yeah!!! Fuck America!!!' Group!!! (No Touchbacks)."

Within that group, however, a serious discussion flared up when "North Korean Pussy" posted a quotation from Hermann Goering: "The people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is to tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and for exposing the country to danger."

Trespassing across the battle lines of cyberspace, a member of "AMERICA! … FUCK YEAH!!!" responded: "You'd have thought the Hitler-Bush comparisons would have gotten old by now. Alas, apparently not. If you are deluded enought [sic] to say that America is the equivalent of Nazi Germany, get the hell out, we don't want you."

North Korean Pussy's response: "I am not in any way saying the American nation is quasi-fascist. It's you guys who are."

At press time, the discussion was still raging on.

-Marcus Baram

Flacks Frozen Out

The fashion world being one of clean lines and dirty fights-and Heatherette being that world's most notoriously, um, colorful designers-when news that the boys had unceremoniously fired their publicist floated across The Transom's desk last week, we got a tingly feeling all over. Either the dandruff shampoo is working ('bout time!) or there's a good old-fashioned fashion catfight out there, just in time for spring!

So, pray tell: Is there a great story behind the severing of ties between club kid designers Richie Rich and Traver Rains and their former publicist Mauricio Padilha-or what?

"Yes," said Mr. Padilha, a co-owner of the popular fashion publicity firm Mao P.R. "But for the time being, I have no comment."

Not so Aimee Phillips, the designers' best friend and in-house P.R. lady for the last three years, who took over the fashion team's whole publicity operation when Mr. Rains and Mr. Rich canned Mr. Padilha earlier this month.

"You might say the great story is that important editors were standing out in the freezing cold during Fashion Week because Mao doesn't know how to put on a show," she told us. "We didn't make a formal announcement because we didn't want any bad blood here. But I knew Mauricio was gonna be a brat about this."

And then, just like a publicist, she corrected herself: "If everything is happy and amazing, people don't leave P.R. firms. I'm happy. Richie's happy. We're all happy over here now. It's a family. We just like to keep everything positive. No negative energy."

Ms. Phillips, who was trained in the Susan Blond school of kill-'em-with-kindness ambush P.R., takes over during the brand's first big retail push. Heatherette, known for their celebrity fans (including Paris Hilton, who walked in their Fashion Week show this winter) and their bubble-gum designs, have in the past sold small quantities to scattered storefronts around the country. But this year, Nordstrom and Henri Bendel have picked up items from the Heatherette line, and Mr. Rains and Mr. Rich's designs will be sold in all 50 states come this fall, Ms. Phillips said.

Anchored in a showroom on Seventh Avenue, the Heatherette pair are also opening a storefront on 57th Street and looking for a publicist to focus on the West Coast, Ms. Phillips said. "A lot of the stuff we want to do now is celebrity-driven, so it'll be helpful to have someone out there who can rep us," she said.

And when it comes getting publicity for your expanding operation on this coast, sometimes the best thing you can do is fire your publicist.

As Ms. Phillips said, "Richie is a P.R. machine. He understands P.R. better than most people I know." Amen.

-Rebecca Dana

Purim Poseurs

"What's Purim?" asked Rob Corddry, the baby-headed correspondent of Comedy Central's The Daily Show, early Thursday morning. A mere 12 hours later, Mr. Corddry found himself transplanted from the screen underneath your cable box to a stage of roughly similar proportions underneath an Upper West Side temple performing in a Purim spiel.

The spiel, a re-enactment of the Old Testament story in which Queen Esther heroically saves the Semitic people from certain death at the hands of the evil Haman, was organized by the writer Rob Kutner, another Daily Show staffer.

Mr. Corddry, who describes himself as Jewish "by injection," had been briefed prior to the affair by his wife Sandy who is, presumably, Jewish by a more traditional method. She made a special point to warn him of the customary booing of Haman, considering that Mr. Corddry is used to the genial applause and self-satisfied laughter from the studio audience of The Daily Show.

The event, a fund-raiser for Hazon, a Jewish environmental organization, was standing room only. The audience, who shelled out $15 for admission, was also generous with its response. The actor who played Haman, Seth Herzog, received one of the biggest laughs of the night during a quick change as he transformed from the evil Haman into a similarly natured Paris Hilton employing little more than a blackout and a pair of break-away pants.

The audience was as wildly costumed as they were easily pleased. Resplendent in a royal blue skirt and matching jacket, Nigel Savage, who runs Hazon, described Purim as a sort of "Jewish Mardi Gras." While Mr. Savage gave his welcoming speech, Mr. Corddry noticed two audience members dressed as enormous catsup and mustard bottles, "Is there time to hug them?" he wondered aloud.

The show was comprised of sketches based on familiar television programs such as: "Desperate Matriarchs," "Pimp My Steed" and "The Semitophobic Life." The funniest sketch of the evening, however, was the parody of Lost called "Farloyrn Gegangen," penned by Rob Kutner with the assistance of Eddy Portnoy. This sketch, performed entirely in Yiddish, achieved comedic mileage because of, rather than despite the fact, that none of the actors understood a word of what they were saying.

"Who needs a beer?" cried Rabbi Mark Ankcorn, esteemed leader of the congregation, as the show wrapped. Decked out completely in the gear of English football club Arsenal, from his cleats to his Arsenal yarmulke, the young blond rabbi distributed Mike's Hard Lemonade and He'brews to the well-deserving cast.

Mr. Corddry, when asked if he would return to perform in the spiel again next year, replied, "Oh, yeah, sure," then paused, "I'm really busy next year though."

-Raquel Hecker

Ad Fab

Good news, New Yorkers! After years of being pummeled ceaselessly by advertisers hawking all manner of soul-squeezing effluvia, it turns out it was all a big MISTAKE! The good folks on Madison Avenue were never out to subvert our thought-processes or drain our wallets! No, no, no! They just wanted to be our FRIENDS, maybe even (giggle, gasp), if we're willing to let 'em in, our FAMILY!!!

Not buying it, eh? Don't worry, neither was most of the audience at Monday night's Advertising: The Persuaders, a panel discussion moderated by PBS Frontline's ace documentarian, Douglas Rushkoff. Based on Mr. Rushkoff's recent Frontline special of the same title, the Persuaders panel pitted ad industry bigwigs against hotshot media and social critics, in what The Transom had hoped would be a knock-down, drag-out fight for America's soul.

But with the Zen-like Rushkoff moderating, things never got too catty. In the ad man's corner was Keith "we want to be your friend" Reinhard, the chairman of global ad giant DDB Worldwide, and also creator of the award-winning McDonald's jingle "You Deserve a Break Today." Mr. Reinhard looked every bit the slick salesman, in black-tailored suit and colorless silver-and-black tie, smiling gregariously as he dodged nearly every question regarding the possibly negative impacts of living in an ad-saturated society.

"We feel we have a responsibility not just to lift sales but to lift spirits as well. I know you'll laugh at this"-The Transom froze in mid-smirk-"but it's true. A lot of people like to sing the jingle, repeat the slogan."

Mr. Reinhard went on to use a scene from the late Arthur Miller's Death of a Salesman to illustrate his point. The Transom wasn't quite sure how the image of Willie Loman kicking a refrigerator illustrated consumer contentment, but we still wanted to take Mr. Reinhard out for three fingers of Scotch after the discussion. He's just that jolly.

With Mr. Rushkoff playing objective moderator, Mr. Reinhard's main nemesis on the panel was Mark Crispin ("Not Your Token Liberal") Miller, author of Boxed In: The Culture of TV and professor of media studies at N.Y.U. With his ruffled brown hair, thinking-casual sport coat and permanent expression of wry bemusement, Mr. Miller looked more like a Cheshire cat than a stuffy intellectual, and he was having none of Mr. Reinhard's sunny spin on the ad industry:

"Advertisers spend a lot of time and energy lobbying Washington to get what they want. Food product companies don't want to list their ingredients; they don't want national studies done on childhood obesity. Nestlé wants you to mainline that shit. They want you to eat it with every meal. If I was the president of Nestlé that's what I would want, too."

Hovering in the middle of the debate was panelist Barbara Lippert, an award-winning advertising critic for Adweek. Ms. Lippert first earned our admiration when she described the ad industry as "a creepy old guy lusting after young people," but she lost us after continually referring to various moronic ad campaigns as "brilliant."

The panel did manage to agree that political ads had gone to the dogs, and even Messrs. Reinhard and Miller concurred on where to lay the blame: shoddy campaign consultants.

Mr. Reinhard, looking no doubt to shift the responsibility of educating voters off his own back, brought up former John Kerry consultant Bob Shrum's comment that voters get their news from People magazine and Entertainment Tonight. Mr. Miller stopped his Cheshire routine long enough to dig some claws into Mr. Shrum:

"It's sobering to me that a top Democratic aide would make such flippant remarks. That kind of thinking-'They're idiots, they're stupid'-is more akin to fascist thinking than democratic."

After Mr. Reinhard dodged Mr. Rushkoff's query about the negative impact of ads, The Transom decided to stir the pot. We marched up to the mike and asked Mr. Reinhard if the ascension of TiVo and other ad-zapping technology did not prove that consumers today do indeed "deserve (and strongly desire) a break today" from the ad blitz?

"Oh, I think TiVo is great! It just challenges us to be more creative in how we offer entertainment and information!" Roger, dodger.

But while Mr. Reinhard played the eternal optimist, younger employees of the ad industry were left to figure out just how his concept of advertising as uplifting words from a beloved uncle would translate into reality.

"We do need to do more to elevate society as opposed to playing into stereotypes," said Laurie Seltzer, a freelance ad copywriter in the audience. "But I would've liked to hear more about when and how that's going to happen in the future."

We would've loved to hear that too, but we had to rush home in time for Entertainment Tonight.

-Jamey Bainer

Most security experts describe the city's subway system as one of the most likely terrorist targets and stress that its sheer size and openness make it particularly vulnerable to attack. And yet the U.S. Department of Homeland Security has spent only $115 million on mass transit throughout the country, while giving $15 billion to the airlines for security needs.

"Mass transit carries 16 times more passengers than the airlines," said Linton Johnson, a spokesman for San Francisco's Bay Area Rapid Transit subway system. "Yet transit systems and commuter rail lines get a fraction of that Homeland Security money. If there was an attack, then they'd find out. It'd be a shame if someone has to die for us to get the money we need."

Since 9/11, subway systems around the country have scrambled to help secure their systems through a combination of federal aid and by dipping into their own operating budgets. Yet while many of these transit agencies have already exhausted those limited Homeland Security grants and are pleading for much more funding, New York's sprawling Metropolitan Transportation Authority has only spent a portion of the $591 million it has budgeted for security.

That revelation came to light during a routine budget hearing at the City Council on March 18, when Gregory S. Kullberg, the M.T.A.'s grim-faced director of capital program budgets, said that the agency had spent $25 million to $30 million of the allocation so far, sending local politicos and editorial writers into a frenzy. "It's shocking to hear that so little progress has been made toward securing our transit system from terrorist attack," fumed Council member John C. Liu, who chairs the Council's transportation committee, shaking his head in disbelief. By the end of the year, the agency vowed to spend about $200 million in security-related work and an additional $100 million in security consulting and design contracts awarded last year.

Other municipal transit agencies don't seem to have had such trouble spending their smaller allocations.

In Washington, D.C., the Metro has gone through the $49 million it was allocated by the federal government soon after 9/11. "It's all been spent," said Steven Taubenkibel, a Metro spokesman. "We spent it on additional explosive-detection canine dogs, ID systems at entrance locations, bomb-resistant trash cans, a pilot program for additional cameras, automatic vehicle locators, chemical sensors in train stations, closed-circuit TV." The agency, which also spent several million of its own funds to purchase video equipment in buses and explosive-containment trash cans, is seeking $260 million in federal money to help build a backup operations control center. "If we had resources like [the $591 million allocated to the M.T.A.], we would be spending it immediately. New York and D.C. are two areas where security is critical and you need to act."

In San Francisco, the Bay Area Rapid Transit (BART) system spent $20 million since 9/11 to improve security for the heart of the system, the Trans-Bay tube. "We've bought security cameras, police overtime, hardware to improve security, detection devices, alarms, anti-terror training," said Mr. Johnson, who identified nearly $200 million in immediate security needs for the BART. "We've worked with Laurence Livermore labs. And yet once they develop these products like detection devices, they're too expensive and we don't have the money."

In Los Angeles, transportation officials have spent $6.8 million in federal funds to harden the city's new subway system with closed-circuit TV, barriers and emergency-response training, in addition to $40 million in local funds on security guards and other enhancements. "Before we got the money, we knew how we were going to spend it," said Paul Lennon, director of intelligence for the Los Angeles County Metropolitan Transportation Authority. "All this pot of money, you get bogged down in discussing how to spend it. New York isn't comparable. They have layers of management and layers of politics-they all want their particular cows to be considered."

So what's taking so long in New York? The M.T.A. asserts that it would rather take the time to make the right choices than throw the money at every proposal that comes its way. "Could we go through the $500 million?" asked M.T.A. spokesman Tom Kelly. "Absolutely-in about a week, if you took every cockamamie scheme that everybody brought to us to improve security."

Instead, the agency has four engineering firms-the Jacobs Engineering Group, Parsons Brinc- kerhoff, the URS Corporation, and a joint venture of Washington Group International and the HNTB Companies-on contract to supply advice and the accompanying construction. "They give us all the architectural plans and surveys of what we need to do," said Mr. Kelly, who stressed that the agency has spent tens of millions of dollars out of its operating budget on security-related needs in recent years.

"If they told us we need to put another foot of concrete around the tunnels, then that has been paid for," Mr. Kelly added. "Look, this is a 100-year-old system that now you have to put in all new technological stuff. We have to do it in the best way possible. Anything you do in New York is going to be taken up by every other system in the world-if it's good enough for New York City, it's good enough for every system."

And Mr. Kelly, who sat and shook his head throughout most of Mr. Liu's questions and comments during the recent City Council hearing, is angered at politicians quick to attack the behemoth agency. "What I resent is the fact that they make it appear that we are not concerned about the safety of our customers," he said. "Not only do we use the system, but our families do. And you know that [politicians] would be the first ones to criticize us if these steps prove to be unwise."

Setting Priorities

Some have criticized the agency's security staff and spending priorities. "I'm not clear what they're doing with this money," said Dave Katzman of the Transport Workers Union. "Most of these high-tech detectors don't work underground because of the high levels of steel dust. They seem to have spent a lot of money on consultants to tell them what to do instead of taking real security measures like protecting the rail yards which are not properly secured right now."

The M.T.A.'s director of security, Bill Morange, has been meeting with law-enforcement groups and security organizations to help assess the agency's needs, but his tenure has gotten a mixed reaction. "Morange is a perfectly pleasant guy, but he doesn't seem to know much about transit," said one longtime security consultant. "Why did they hire him? He seems to be taking a wait-and-see attitude, and everyone knows that the subway is one of the ripest targets in the whole country. While you're sitting there thinking about what to do, someone could set off a bomb-boom!"

But Mr. Morange has earned the respect of his colleagues, including his counterpart in Los Angeles. "I know Bill, and he knows what he's doing," said Mr. Lennon. "It requires a lot of focused attention in a place like New York, with all its politics, but he's capable of that."

And longtime transit advocates understand the delay in spending on security. "Have they spent enough and on the right things?" asked Beverly Dolinsky, the chair of the N.Y.C. Transit Riders Council, an advocacy organization. "It takes a while to do things. They've been increasing the number of police and canine units, hardening the system. First of all, you want to do it right, and you have to figure out the best way to spend it."

Security experts agree that money shouldn't be spent when trying to secure a system of the M.T.A.'s size and scope without doing a cost-benefit analysis first. "I'm not terribly worried [about the delay in spending]," said Robert Castelli, a professor of criminal justice and security management at the John Jay College of Criminal Justice. "My concern is that once they get all the advice, that they won't spend it. It may be too much of a lag, and you have to ask: How good are these consultants? And how long do you want to wait for your advice? It's great to hire top consultants as long as you don't avoid dedicating yourself to the end game-helping secure the subways."

And, considering the sprawling nature of the subway system and the sheer volume of commuters, the larger question is: Can New York's subway ever be truly secured? "Will we ever come up with a 100 percent secure system? Probably not," said Mr. Castelli, looking at the impracticality of security measures such as metal detectors. "You're going to have to stop every single person with a briefcase or a backpack. It would be so unwieldy, it would be impossible."

"You gotta understand, when somebody says, 'Yo, yo, what do you think of Flavor Flav, he's doing TV now,' I say, 'No, we have to tell Flavor Flav TV is kinda doing him right now,'" Chuck told a packed house at N.Y.U.'s Tishman Auditorium on Feb. 26. The occasion was a weekend-long discussion of It Takes a Nation of Millions to Hold Us Back, Public Enemy's most celebrated album, and arguably one of the best pieces of recorded music in any genre. Never mind that the night before the band had reunited for the first time in years to perform together before such stars as Missy Elliott, Naomi Campbell, Russell Simmons, Lil' Kim, Fat Joe and Q-Tip at a benefit party for the Jam Master Jay Foundation, where they stormed their way through hits like "Welcome to the Terrordome," "Public Enemy No. 1," "911 Is a Joke," "Rebel Without a Pause," "Black Steel in the Hour of Chaos" and "Bring the Noise."

But never one to mince words, Chuck, dressed down in a crew-neck sweatshirt and trademark black baseball cap, skipped over self-congratulatory reminiscences to attack the cultural malaise currently being endorsed by his onetime band mate. He may be a little older now, but the rapper-activist looked just as imposing and defiant as the young man staring out from the cover photo of It Takes a Nation ….

"MTV and Viacom have extended the teenage years to age 29," Chuck went on. "Now people are so deep in fantasy that Americans have to watch TV for 'reality.'

"When we made this album there was a crack epidemic going on. Today we have another epidemic: 'Consumption' is the new crack."

The crowd at Tishman didn't seem to mind when Chuck moved the Public Enemy tribute on to broader topics of discussion. After all, many of the audience members had already sat through two days of various panel discussions singing the praises of It Takes a Nation ….

In addition to heaping endless amounts of praise on the album, panelists focused on another thread, espoused by everyone from former Public Enemy publicity agent Craig Davis to Chuck D himself: Contemporary hip-hop is drowning in the bling-bling abyss of albums like 50 Cent's Get Rich or Die Tryin'.

"The rap groups I deal with now," said Mr. Davis, "I just shake my head. Here comes another guy talking about bling; here comes another guy talking about his .22." As promised, Davis shook his head.

Chuck D was slightly kinder toward 80's-era mainstream rappers like Fresh Prince and LL Cool J, citing them as both a boon to P.E.'s own efforts and a routine to be avoided:

"I liked LL Cool J, but I felt we should talk about what we know," Chuck D said. "When we did this album I was 10 years older than LL. We weren't going to be rapping about making out with girls."

Fellow P.E. alumnus Hank Shocklee, who is currently writing a book on the creation of It Takes a Nation … , joined Chuck D for the weekend's final discussion. Looking a little sleeker in form-fitting black pants and jacket, with a military-surplus cap snug on his head, Mr. Shocklee fixed the crowd with an ominous stare as he blasted the current rap scene.

Addressing the African-American members of the audience, Mr. Shocklee told the crowd, "Black culture has been replaced by hip-hop culture. Black culture is not representing you anymore-hip-hop is."

When a frustrated record producer in the audience asked Mr. Shocklee for advice on dealing with the younger generation of bling-obsessed rappers, Mr. Shocklee pointedly told the man he "might want to consider changing the genre of music you work in."

"I'm not telling you what you want to hear," Mr. Shocklee added, "I'm telling you what you need to hear. This problem is too big for one individual to take the responsibility of fixing."

Times certainly have changed since Public Enemy burst on to the scene. Hip-hop may dominate the airwaves today, but in 1988 Public Enemy's publicity team had to drag journalists, sometimes kicking and screaming, to interviews with the group.

"White media were terrified of these guys," said former Public Enemy publicist Leyla Turkkan. Though she wouldn't name names, Ms. Turkkan related the tale of one journalist ("Someone who participated in a panel this weekend") who cowered in terror as Ms. Turkkan drove him to an interview with Public Enemy. The Transom's mind was racing: Was it John Leland, or maybe Robert Christgau?

After distancing themselves from the current rap scene, Chuck D and Mr. Shocklee described their own conception of It Takes a Nation … as an album with firm roots in rock, punk and soul music. Chuck D emphasized this point onstage by including Vernon Reid and Will Calhoun, of acclaimed rock outfit Living Colour, in the final panel discussion.

"We're part of a hidden history of rock 'n' roll," Reid said. "The history you usually get doesn't include the Isley Brothers; it doesn't include 'World Is a Ghetto.'"

Mr. Reid pointed out that rock outfits like Bad Brains and Fishbone were a vital inspiration to his own music, and he was quick to add that the pigeonholing of black musicians into hip-hop perpetuates ridiculous stereotypes.

Mr. Reid related the story of a backstage confrontation with Alex Van Halen, right after brother Eddie (the talented one) and new VH front man Sammy Hagar paid tribute to Living Colour in the pages of Rolling Stone. The bumbling Van Halen brother told Mr. Reid that while Eddie was a big fan, he himself could not understand why an African-American man would want to wail on the guitar.

"I just don't get that shit," he reportedly told Mr. Reid.

Though Mr. Reid admitted that he was "feeling pretty ghetto," he chose to sagely put the other Van Halen in his place.

"Why don't you go ask your brother?" replied Mr. Reid. "He's a real musician."

-Jamey Bainer

Going for Broke

There must be a support group for this kind of thing-Celebrity Daughters Embarrassed by their Lawbreaking Daddies. Long before pop tart Lindsay Lohan's father was making a full-time career out of racking up tabloid headlines with allegations of his wife-threatening, brother-in-law-beating, car-crashing high jinks, supermodel Maggie Rizer's stepfather was doing his best impression of a bad dad.

John Breen pled guilty last October to robbing Ms. Rizer of $7 million and gambling away plenty of the cash in a Quick Draw spree that started in 1998-leaving her unable to pay the mortgage on her condominium. As a result, the board of Franklin Tower, the posh Tribeca building where she bought her 1,895-square-foot two-bedroom apartment in 2000 for $1.6 million, sued the freckle-faced model in State Supreme Court on Feb. 18 for $21,186.29 plus lawyers' fees.

"It's not the first time that they've filed suit against her," says the board's lawyer, David Abramovitz. "The last time they sued, they worked it out and she paid up. Why she hasn't paid now, I really don't know."

Ms. Rizer's lawyer insists that she will pay back the board in full. "She was broke but she's going to straighten it out," says Ed Hayes. "She owes them money, she'll get it, she's back at work now." Ms. Rizer, who modeled for Calvin Klein and Tommy Hilfiger, is lining up work and recently celebrated her 27th birthday with David Schwimmer and Keith Richards' daughters, Theodora and Alexandra, at downtown lounge Pink Elephant. Further, Mr. Hayes claimed that he was preparing to file suits on Ms. Rizer's behalf against several banks and investment houses for breach of fiduciary duty, for in effect allowing her fortune to be fleeced by her stepfather.

Mr. Breen, who could face up to 800 years in jail, was due to be sentenced on several felony counts in early January, but the case has been postponed. In the meantime, the gambling spree has roiled Ms. Rizer's upstate hometown of Watertown, where Mr. Breen gambled away most of the money on Quick Draw machines at a bar called Speak Easy, which is owned by the town's mayor, Jeff Graham. In early February, two machines were turned off by New York State Lottery officials who are conducting an investigation into the incident.

And Ms. Rizer, frustrated by malicious comments about her inability to read a bank statement or to keep track of her own fortune, which were posted on Jefferson County's Web board, has gone on the attack. Here it is verbatim: "[F]irst off.. of course i asked for statements. sadly, they were falsified … and please, i'm an intelligent girl …. these statements were also accepted by the united states government , italian, french and U.K… so- if i accepted them, .. i'll give myself the benefit of the doubt. check the facts, please- they're facinating." She also shot back at her family's detractors. "[L]astly, point no fingers at my family. this subject is between john, myself, and his pathetic 'friends'-ex …. and my fabulous lawyer. So back off … i will not be intimidated, i never have been."

-Marcus Baram

But before we could answer, there came The Donald, plowing a course to Mr. Kors, a plucky Melania in tow. We were thrown back from Mr. Scarlett, whose limbs flopped but whose tresses remained in a neat, blond wave. He recovered, a beacon of graceful femininity in the crush of over-stylized women, rushing aside so the busy billionaire could pass. Taller than you'd expect, and prettier and glossier of the lip, Mr. Scarlett retreated to his second-row seat, smoothing the red ruffles on his shirtwaist. This would turn out to be a sad night for him. He would be lovingly booted from his television show for creating too ball a gown in a Grammy dress design challenge. But that afternoon, unbeknownst to anyone, he was a reality-show cast-off living out a unique fantasy: In the audience of one of his former judges-Mr. Kors was a regular on the show-being asked (by us) to evaluate the designer's collection. A comparable situation would have Omarosa judging Mr. Trump's ability to sell lemonade at rush hour. (Not that Mr. Scarlett is in any way Omarosa-like. First of all, those power suits of hers! Ugh.)

So-"What's it like to be Michael's judge this time? Well, I'll just say it was an honor to be invited to the show. It's nice we were worthy of the sacrifice of one of the valuable seats that could have been saved for a buyer or a member of the media," he told the inquiring Transom, earnestly and without a drip of sarcasm. It was the kind of answer that would have irritated Mr. Trump, had he not run off with the missus to a press conference in the main Bryant Park tent, at which she was to receive something-or-other from some eager publicist and smile pretty for the flashing bulbs. Mr. Scarlett was sincere, and seemed sincerely flattered to be there. He sat quietly at attention while Mr. Kors danced backstage, coaxing each model onto the runway to the pulse of Madonna on loop. Modestly, post-Trump trample, Mr. Scarlett offered an evaluation. Running one finger through his shiny mane, he took a look back at the crowd and declared, "It's all just very glamorous. I don't know what else to say."

-Rebecca Dana

Power Broker Burlesque

The ghost of Robert Moses may be haunting theater director Alex Timbers. The impresario and his cohorts at the theater troupe Les Freres Corbusier were all set to open Boozy: The Life, Death, and Subsequent Vilification of Le Corbusier and, More Importantly, Robert Moses, their sincerely irreverent take on the master planner's life, when a mysterious flu virus ravaged cast and crew this past weekend.

Mr. Timbers soldiered through a 103-degree fever to direct a Feb. 13 preview performance of the play, but his hard work was only rewarded with further calamity: Actor Ian Oldaker, who plays Governor Nelson Rockefeller ( Boozy's Judas figure to Moses' Messiah), caught the same virus and was sent to the hospital on Monday, leaving the director to fill in the role for another preview performance that night.

Although less than thrilled with his ad hoc part on Monday, Mr. Timbers remains confident that Boozy will appeal to both urban-planning aficionados and Moses-haters alike. While the former may barely fill out a conference table, the latter would fill Yankee Stadium.

As he is quick to point out, the play is "not entirely critical" of the man commonly held responsible for the gridlock along his various highway projects (think of Moses the next time you hit the B.Q.E. at rush hour), not to mention the bulldozing of the Bronx into a perpetually doomed sprawl of housing projects.

"He was the most important person in the history of urban planning," Mr. Timbers said, "but it's startling how little people knew about him. I was surprised that no one had explored his life through plays and the theater."

For inspiration, he drew on Robert Caro's epic screw-you tome to Moses, The Power Broker-which The Transom has still not read in its entirety, but admit it, neither have you-and "that 'New York' documentary TBS kept showing" in the months following 9/11.

But if Moses' spirit isn't cursing Mr. Timber's show, then the planner might at least be rolling in his grave: This is a Les Freres Corbusier production after all, and the company is known for absurdist satire that goes over the top in all the right places. (Previous productions cast President Warren Harding as a coke-snorting rock star and Benjamin Franklin as, well, the anti-Christ, and there was a Scientology Christmas Pageant-long story.) Boozy paints Moses (played by Les Freres veteran Jacob Grigolia-Rosenbaum) as a wide-eyed do-gooder who falls under the spell of the enigmatic modernist architect Le Corbusier. Moses launches a crusade to implement Le Corbusier's vision of an automotive utopia upon the grid of New York City, and in the process he becomes the new messiah, pitted against an evil cabal headed by Franklin Roosevelt, Joseph Goebbels and Benito Mussolini. Along the way Moses does battle with Jane Jacobs (a hilarious Nina Hellman), the jilted ex-girlfriend of "Boozy"--as she calls Le Corbusier-who forms Community Board 3 to stamp out any trace of her former beau's vision. Moses receives aid from flaming admirer Fiorello LaGuardia (played brilliantly by John Summerour) and from Governor Rockefeller, who later betrays Moses after the planner unveils his doomed scheme to build a cross-Manhattan expressway through Soho. (Had it been completed, this project would have steamrolled over the Ohio Theatre, where the play is being performed, an irony not lost on Les Freres.)

Mr. Timbers, now recovered from his bout with the flu, says cast morale is high going into this Thursday's opening public performance. Ethel Sheffer, president of the N.Y. Metro chapter of the American Planning Association, is confirmed to attend Thursday's show, and the director expects to see other luminaries from the American Institute of Architects in the audience. After the Feb. 20 performance, The Architect's Newspaper will host a panel discussion of Moses and Le Corbusier, featuring Mr. Timbers, Geoff Lynch of architecture firm H3 Hardy Collaboration, and Deborah Gans, author of The Le Corbusier Guide.

"It's really exciting for us to create a show that the community of urban planners is taking an interest in," said Mr. Timbers. "It'd be a pity if we did the only show about Robert Moses and no one in that (planning) community came to see it."

Danielle Burger, an urban planner who attended Sunday's preview, said she liked the show, though it did little to make her like Moses any better.

"(Moses) did some good stuff, but mostly he was a tyrant," Mr. Burger said. Her companion, chemist Matt Kirisits, concurred:

"I drive on these roads and bridges all the time, and at nearly every time of day they're terrible to drive on. If you're on one at 3 a. m. and nobody else is around then yeah, it's great, but any other time it's a nightmare," Mr. Kirisits said.

But hey, maybe there's a need for creatures like Moses, because when you get down to it, do you want to be the one dealing with all the headaches of urban planning? As Moses points out near the end of the show, urban planning is a shitty job.

-Jamey Bainer

When Sources Get Mad

John Aretakis, 44, a Manhattan- and Albany-based lawyer, likes to be taken seriously-and beware those in the media who don't respect that attitude. The controversial attorney recently slapped Hearst Publications with a wide-ranging lawsuit based upon claims that a reporter at the company's Albany Times Union paper broke an "oral contract" they had made to embargo information on tapes he shared with her, among other allegations. According to the complaint, the newspaper published "libelous, slanderous and defamatory articles" about him, and the paper employs an editor who "was caught and arrested for having sexual contact with a young male hustler in [Albany's] Washington Park."

Mr. Aretakis, who filed the complaint on behalf of himself in New York Supreme Court on Feb. 10, has for the past three years been representing alleged victims of clergy sex abuse. And in the current lawsuit, in what appears to be the emotional core of Mr. Aretakis' claims, he blames the newspaper for being sympathetic to the church: "The defendant has for at least the past year, acted to be an agent for or partial to the Roman Catholic Diocese of Albany."

Speaking by phone to The Transom, he claims that "For the past year they have just turned around and been an agent for my adversaries."

Mr. Aretakis has a reputation for speaking his mind. According to his own count, approximately 15 complaints against him have been filed with the Appellate Division of state Supreme Court. In one of the most recent complaints, the Reverend Carl Urban asked the Third Department's Committee on Professional Standards to investigate Mr. Aretakis for publicly accusing the reverend of sexual improprieties, allegations that the reverend contends are false.

In fact, one of the issues in Mr. Aretakis' lawsuit is that the Times Union mishandled the story that they wrote about these allegations, among other things claiming that he could be disbarred if the charges are true (a clarification ran later clarifying that other sanctions were an option, too).

"Aretakis has certainly been right on a number of issues-not this one. It's hard because we're going to still need him as a source," said the paper's editor, Rex Smith.

Mr. Smith said the reporter accused in Mr. Aretakis' suit never had an agreement to embargo the information Mr. Aretakis provided. The story the reporter wrote, which angered Mr. Aretakis, was researched with "independent reporting," Mr. Smith said. As for the allegation that a staffer engaged in sexual improprieties, Mr. Smith said he is investigating the charges, but has turned up nothing.

"I think it's outrageous, I really do. It's a smear. Against whom I don't know, because he doesn't say who he's talking about. Frankly, I think it's an effort to harass the newspaper because our coverage hasn't raised his public profile to the level that he wishes. It's simply outrageous, it's harassment, and we will deal with it in court, as harassing lawsuits should be dealt with. We've had good days with John Aretakis and bad days with John Aretakis in terms of our relationship with him as a source. I presume we'll have more of the same in the future-right now this is one of the bad ones."

Mr. Aretakis is seeking unspecified damages for harm to his reputation.

-Anna Schneider-Mayerson

Roughing It

Sure, Michael Eisner's long-awaited memoir, Camp, won't hit bookstores until June 14 after being postponed a year by Warner Books. "It wasn't exactly the best time to be publishing a book about the life lessons learned by Mike Eisner-who would read that after all the turmoil over at Disney?" says a publishing insider. And rather than dwelling on the costume design in Fantasia or the ambiguous sexuality of Goofy, the 256-page book focuses on the other camp-that woodland prison where kids get tortured with mosquito bites and Indian rope burns. But if you can't wait to read more about the Chief Mouse's time sitting around the campfire at Camp Keewaydin in Vermont, just sneak a peek at James B. Stewart's DisneyWar, which contains the following anecdotes:

· On his first weekend at camp, Mr. Eisner's counselor pushed the 7-year-old into boxing another older, bigger boy at the camp's Saturday-night matches. The young Mr. Eisner, who had never before thrown a punch in his life, was clobbered in two minutes but he never cried.

· Mr. Eisner's arch nemesis, Dreamworks Animation C.E.O. Jeff Katzenberg, was a little less enthused about the camp experience-he was expelled from a camp along the Kennebec River in Maine for playing poker.

· Decades later, when Mr. Eisner went to visit his son at Camp Keewaydin and he spotted 48 Hrs. producer Larry Gordon, with whom he'd had a falling-out, the Disney chief jumped into the camp's lake with his shoes on to avoid an awkward encounter.

-Marcus Baram

Less than two months later, however, the only people still putting Mr. Pataki's name in the same sentence as "2008" are on the Governor's payroll. Mr. Pataki hasn't directly addressed the growing questions about his family's personal finances. And where analysts were recently considering a revival, now they're planning an autopsy.

"I don't think it's premature for an obituary," said Doug Muzzio, a professor of public affairs at Baruch College. "Forget it. The guy is not going to be President."

Even Mr. Pataki's close advisors realized that since his re-election in 2002, the Governor had been battered politically. The legislature overrode his budget vetoes in 2003, "Albany" has become a dirty word in New York politics, and even his speech at the Republican National Convention-where he was expected to introduce the President-was upstaged by Rudy Giuliani's stem-winder and bumped out of its prime slot by a Peggy Noonan–scripted voice-over.

But this was going to be the year when Mr. Pataki shrugged aside the speculation over his uncertain future and regained the initiative. He has been flying around the state campaign-style, pushing a favored initiative, Medicaid reform. In January, he made his pitch to New York conservatives, using a set of charts (and some rather old Mario Cuomo jokes) to defend his fiscal stewardship despite the state's exploding budgets.

"The Governor is making aggressive moves right now that I expect to pay off governmentally and politically," said Kieran Mahoney, a longtime advisor to Mr. Pataki, at the time.

"He was back on the horse and he was charging," said another Pataki advisor, adding that "2003 and '04 were not great years, but he's fighting back, and he was having a good early run of 2005."

What looked for a moment like a comeback, however, is beginning to appear like a last gasp. His state has been battered by a series of policy setbacks, and his reputation tarnished by an increasingly public need to live better than a public servant can afford.

The bad news is taking its political toll. A Quinnipiac University poll earlier this month found that Mr. Pataki would lose to Senator Hillary Clinton in next year's Senate race by 61 to 30 percent, and to Attorney General Eliot Spitzer in the Governor's race 54 to 30 percent. A larger New York Times poll found that Mr. Pataki's approval rating had dropped 19 percentage points, to 43 percent, since 2002.

"It's a public implosion," said Roger Stone, a Republican political consultant and old antagonist of Mr. Pataki who worked for billionaire Tom Golisano in the last Governor's race. "Once he could no longer defend his administration from a policy point of view, it was only a matter of time until they started picking him apart on the corruption stuff."

That's not an unfamiliar pattern. New Jersey Governor Jim McGreevey's long-rumored gay affair brought him down only after his administration had already begun to collapse. And Arkansas Governor Bill Clinton's policy successes overshadowed his rumored philandering and his own first lady's private-sector profits.

Now Mr. Pataki is facing dual meltdowns on funding for schools and for Medicaid, which-if the courts continue to hold against him-could force a tax increase. He saw his vetoes of a tax-heavy budget overridden by the State Legislature in 2003. And scandals over the management of the public authorities are taking their toll.

The Governor's staff contends that these are just momentary hurdles. "Our point of view is that polls go up and go down, but what matters most is his leadership," said spokeswoman Molly Fullington. "And through crisis after crisis, New Yorkers can still trust Governor Pataki. He's made the difficult choices that have allowed the state to move forward."

Mr. Mahoney blames Sept. 11 for the state's grim budget picture-more debt than any other, save the far larger California.

"He's had a couple of tough cycles where he's had to be anything but the guy dispensing the goodies, because there were no goodies to dispense," said Mr. Mahoney. "He's making the tough decisions he needs to make in '05 so that he can have the choices he needs to have in '06."

But some of Mr. Pataki's old allies in the conservative movement, of which he was once an acolyte, are less generous. E.J. McMahon, an influential analyst at the conservative Manhattan Institute and a former Pataki administration official, now regularly blasts the Governor's budgets.

And some of Mr. Pataki's old friends in the movement no longer see him as one of their own.

"He has made major mistakes that have infuriated conservatives," said Steve Moore, the former head of the Club for Growth, an anti-tax group. "He really has a big shoring-up job to do with conservatives inside the state and around the country."

Mr. Pataki's old upstate base has also abandoned him. The Quinnipiac poll found him losing to Mr. Spitzer upstate by virtually the same margin as inside New York City.

Policy woes, moreover, seem to have opened the floodgates to a more personal set of damaging revelations. At first, it was just a matter of old friends helping a public servant keep his family in comfortable style. A college classmate, Richard Hayden, brought the Patakis in on sweet investment deals-including an industrial park in Georgia. Mrs. Pataki reportedly earned $8,000 in her share of rental income in three months during 2003-when the state's first family releases its tax returns in two months, that share should prove to be much higher. And some of the tenants paying rent in the complex, named Chastain Meadows, are firms with millions of dollars in contracts with New York State. One such tenant, Clayton Group Services, which bills itself as the nation's largest health and safety firm, was awarded a $3.8 million contract by the state Department of Environmental Conservation last November for cleaning up part of the Brooklyn-Queens Aquifer. The contract was awarded to the firm even though they were the second-lowest bidder, because the low bidder's proposal was "unsatisfactory." A spokesman for the agency said that the contract was awarded purely on the merits and that the losing bidder never challenged the decision.

Yet Mr. Hayden doesn't appear to have wanted any favors from the Governor in return. And at first, Mr. Pataki hewed to a rule that George W. Bush was quoted as citing recently: "Laura and I are smart enough to know that when you're President of the United States, you don't make new friends."

But Mr. Pataki seemed to have new friends who wanted to help out, too. Henry Silverman, the chief of the Cendant Corporation-a huge conglomerate with major lobbying interests before the state-found a way indirectly to put Mrs. Pataki on the payroll as a trustee of a company linked to Cendant.

The donors to the State Republican Party-a list full of corporations with state contracts-have also done their part. The New York Post-which gave big play to damaging stories about Mr. Pataki's Democratic opponent in 2002-unleashed its fierce Albany correspondent, Fred Dicker, on Mrs. Pataki's domestic arrangements, putting a picture of a woman described as her "servant"-and paid for by the State Republican Party-on page 1. Mr. Dicker followed up with a report that Mrs. Pataki had been personally pushing New York business leaders to buy hundreds of copies of her children's book, with the pitch that the family "really need[ed]" the money.

In a world where supporters can cut checks half the size of Mr. Pataki's take-home salary, it's easy to see the temptation of money in politics.

"You are constantly around people who have more money than you," said one prominent Republican.

The combination of policy woes and personal humiliations have left a consensus among Mr. Pataki's friends-not to mention his critics-that his Presidential ambitions are an increasingly painful joke. "Stillborn," said one prominent conservative. "He was done before this, and I don't know if he knew it," said an aide to another Presidential contender.

But the Governor, head down, is soldiering on.

"Writing his political obituary right now is absurd," said Mr. Mahoney.

Preceding as it did this season's Fashion Week by at least half a month, the evening's spectacle seemed a slapdash affair: several fledgling designers lumped together in a startlingly amateurish presentation by Stop the Glamour, a group that is hoping to capitalize on the T-shirts-with-witty-slogans trend (which, of course, isn't witty at all).

Redesigned-but not really-by rock 'n' roll godmother Anne Jones and Easy Spirit's Tara Subkoff, NA is already stalling, less than half a year after it opened its doors to New York's ennui-ridden nocturnals. Not one, but two whole floors of nothing much but dead, crispy banana plants, NA seems to attract neither the fashionably uptown-downtown types who can't help but frequent Bungalow 8 nor the undiscriminating spendthrifts at Marquee. It draws a nouveau pauvre kind of girl and boy, but their shoes are too conventional, the hair too symmetrical, their cheeks just not sunken enough-Murray Hill hipsters, pimply N.Y.U. juniors, second-tier art-school graduates.

They stood around, in their Bakelite earrings and mullets, drinking free Vox cranberries through coffee straws, eagerly waiting for the models to strut. NA's catwalk was lined on either side with six beige sofas, reserved for V.I.P.'s, which as far as anyone could tell were restricted to Mr. and Mrs. Oscar de la Renta, Mr. and Mrs. Alex Bolen, and Coco Brandolini-all members of Oscar de la Renta's private and professional coterie. Five labels (Tamara Pogosian, Besnik, Jessica Kaufman, Queue and Moises de la Renta) were represented by the girls loping down the runway in ill-fitting skirts and cashmere jump suits. And then, finally, came Mr. de la Renta Jr.'s "special pieces"-no doubt the most redeeming aspect of the show, but not by much: mostly T-shirts with slogans (when will it stop?!), well-tailored trousers with exposed seams (distracting) and two remarkably proportioned trench coats (confident). There was plenty of applause and whooping for the young de la Renta, the adopted 20-year-old son of the de la Renta, though he still has a long way to go.

With fairy-tale origins true to his name, Moises was rescued from a dust bin in the Dominican Republic a few days after his birth. The young infant was soon adopted by Oscar de la Renta, who has invested several decades of time and money into creating charitable institutions in the country of his birth. At 3, Moises was shipped to the United States, growing up with his father and mother in New York, and then later sent to boarding school. There are rumors that he got into some trouble, though those stories are spread by shadowy acquaintances whose intentions seem suspect. Mostly taciturn and polite, the young de la Renta is characterized by a distinct humility that may wind up hampering rather than benefiting him. Last season, one of his T-shirts was paraded down Oscar de la Renta's runway show on top of one of his father's elaborate silk skirts, but in general Mr. de la Renta père has kept out of his son's business. Whether that negligence is due to tough love or something else is hard to tell. But Moises didn't seem inclined to reflect too much on his heritage. Intentionally sending most of his coterie to the wrong party, he went to dinner at Pop Burger and remained mostly silent. Asked for a comment, Moises purred, "Call me tomorrow."

-Jessica Joffe

The Reel Ambassador

For a couple of hours on Tuesday, Jan. 18, Katherine Oliver, commissioner of the Mayor's Office of Film, Theater and Broadcasting, must have felt like a camp counselor trying to herd a rambunctious group of third-graders. The savvy 41-year-old was trying to organize a photo shoot for New York magazine featuring over 30 New York–based filmmakers heading to the Sundance Film Festival. They had gathered in the fifth-floor soundstage in City Stage, a production studio in Chelsea, to mingle with Ms. Oliver and exchange pleasantries before the Park City ratfuck, where many of them will be competing for awards and, more importantly, distribution.

As photographer Chris Callis busied himself setting up the shoot, Ms. Oliver held court, launching the latest salvo in her battle for relevance. Clad in a black turtleneck and pants, Ms. Oliver-who has spearheaded a vociferous campaign to bring film and television production back to New York City-made her way around the room kibitzing with such indie stalwarts as Hal Hartley, self-described "war horse" Rebecca Miller and Flatliner- cum-director Kevin Bacon, as well as some notable "rookies" to the film scene, such as veteran P.R. man Dan Klores, to talk up the recent tax incentives passed in Albany and to hand out "goodie bags" stuffed with "Made in NY" T-shirts.

"When you're out in Sundance, wear the T-shirts with pride," she said in a short speech. A wave of chuckles passed through the crowd-most of whom were bundled in jean jackets and sport coats to fend off the city's first serious cold wave. Much the same will greet them in Utah; the T-shirts will have to wait for Cannes.

Ms. Oliver made sure to cater to the V.I.P.'s in attendance. "I brought you your pin," Ms. Oliver said to Mr. Bacon, who was there to promote his latest project, the film Loverboy, starring his wife, Kyra Sedgwick. "Is someone with you?" she asked, looking for his handler to take the bag off his hands. It quickly disappeared.

"I've been wearing my ["Made in NY"] shirt for six months," Mr. Bacon said to The Transom, looking tired but wearing it well with a faded black shirt over a thin camouflage-print sweater, a cup of Dunkin' Donuts coffee in hand. Mr. Bacon currently stars in The Woodsman, an intimate portrayal of a pedophile recently released from prison. But the actor didn't want to talk about that; he wanted to talk about Loverboy, which he directed from a screenplay by Shakespeare-Hannah Shakespeare, that is.

"Feelings that you have for children are so extreme," Mr. Bacon said. Wait a minute-"a different kind of feeling" from those in The Woodsman, he explained. It is the love that a mother (Ms. Sedgwick) has for her child. The film, Mr. Bacon explained, explores the question of how a person deals with those feelings.

On the eve of the most important American film festival of the year, the other directors milling about were dealing with excited feelings of their own. The room bubbled with anxious chatter. Many of them would be leaving the next day for the festival, which starts on Thursday, Jan. 20.

Rebecca Miller, the director of Personal Velocity: Three Portraits, said she'd be "skating on in" to Utah. She'll be making her third trip to Sundance with the distribution for her latest film, The Ballad of Jack and Rose-about a misanthropic conservationist who starts a commune on a deserted island-already in the bag.

"It's about the war against nature-the war against the uncivilized parts of ourselves," the beautiful and leggy 42-year-old brunette said. The $3 million film was produced and will be distributed by IFC Films. But Ms. Miller warned, "It's incredibly hard [to make a film in the U.S.]. There's no support system."

Also milling about was Ira Sachs, the director of Forty Shades of Blue, a quasi-autobiographical film about a Russian woman living in Memphis with a promiscuous, aging rock 'n' roll legend. Mr. Sachs promises that the film will show a part of Rip Torn "we haven't seen in a while." (Let's hope it's not the same part that got such a workout in The Man Who Fell to Earth.) But for now, we'll just have to take Mr. Sachs' word for it: "Nobody's seen the film," he said nervously.

Mr. Klores, the P.R. maven, was there to promote himself and his documentary, Ring of Fire: The Emile Griffith Story, which he co-directed with Ron Berger, about the boxer who killed a man in the ring in March of 1962, after the other fighter had taunted him with homosexual epithets. Mr. Klores has found at least one early supporter of the documentary: Mr. Griffith. "I think he's quite pleased," he said, looking like a young Pete Hamill-well, he has a beard and some of the same old friends-in a blue sweater. The documentary is Mr. Klores' second film. His third, Viva Baseball, about the "Latinization" of the great American pastime, will air on Spike TV in September. And he'll begin shooting his fourth in February, this one about Burt Pugach, the man who blinded his then girlfriend, was jailed for the attack and then married her 14 years later, upon his release. The true story provided much fodder for late-1950's tabloids and will allow Mr. Klores to explore the "difference between obsession and love." Good luck!

Mr. Klores will face stiff competition in Park City from some other New Yorkers. Alex Gibney, a veteran documentary producer, has directed Enron: The Smartest Guys in the Room. The bald, goateed filmmaker explains the company's pathology quite succinctly: "It's Gordon Gekko meets Alfred E. Newman, 'Greed is good' and 'What, me worry?'" On the opposite extreme is Murderball, the ThinkFilm documentary about quadriplegics who play full-contact rugby in " Mad Max –style" wheelchairs. The film follows the bad-ass clan from the World Championships in Sweden to the Paralympics in Athens, Greece. Co-directors Henry Alex Rubin and Dana Adam Shapiro-formerly a senior editor at Spin-eagerly explained that many of the film's subjects have "hot" girlfriends and drink like fish, and that this is not your typical sappy story about the handicapped. "Let's just say that our score features music by Ministry and Ween," they said. "If you say 'Good job,' they'll say 'Fuck you!'" Critics beware.

After an hour and a half, the scaffolding had been set up and the directors-some with nervous smiles, others with stern looks-were arranged to the photographer's liking.

"Everybody loose!" Mr. Callis yelled from behind the camera. "Sundance! New York magazine! Big picture!"

The class of 2005 laughed together.

-Jake Brooks

The Transom Also Hears …

… that there were plenty of conservatives roaming the Congress of Racial Equality's annual Martin Luther King Jr. awards dinner on Jan. 17: Fox News' Sean Hannity, Hudson Institute's Herb London, New York Civil Rights Coalition head Michael Meyers and a few members of the National Rifle Association. But missing in action was the star of the hour and the recipient of CORE's Public Service Award-Karl Rove, senior advisor to President Bush and bête noire to liberals everywhere. "He couldn't make it. He sent [Republican National Committee chairman] Ed Gillespie here to pick up the award-who was sitting here-but he had to rush back [to D.C.]," explained Roy Innis, the chairman of CORE. At least Mr. Hannity knew enough to throw some red meat to the partisan crowd, shouting, "Is everybody happy with the election results?" When guests roared in approval, he proceeded to explain why his liberal co-host, Alan Colmes, couldn't attend the function. "Right now, he's in Massachusetts, he's with Ted- hic!-Kennedy," said Mr. Hannity, adding, "Let not your heart be troubled: Alan's driving." Before rushing off to make his evening broadcast, the talkmeister lauded three men who were each "the right man in the right place at the right time in human history": Martin Luther King Jr., Roy Innis and George W. Bush ….

-Marcus Baram

Rita Gardner, co-star in The Fantasticks

I remember first meeting him. We all got together on the first day of rehearsal-it must have been February 1960. When we all sang, I certainly knew who was the real star. I looked over and there was this wonderful actor-so strong and alive. And he was always coming up with things. I would just say, "Oh, and he can juggle, too," because he'd come out and he'd be throwing up oranges and balls …. He was the glue of that show, someone who made you feel that everything would be all right. There's a scene where I stood up on this chair, he was in back of me, and every time I fell back in his arms, I just knew he would catch me …. Years later, I did a few episodes of Law and Order, but I never worked with him; they were still with Paul Sorvino. I was always somebody crying-the crying lady."

Tony Noto, associate producer of The Fantasticks

"I was about 9 when I first met him. I remember seeing him in the show, it must have been May of 1960, when my father [Lore Noto] produced the show. What I remember about him was that he was larger than life, he was the rock that The Fantasticks built its church on. He set a standard that has rarely been equaled; he was the perfect person for that role. There were very subtle contributions that Jerry made: in the initial staging, that line, "Scooby-Dooby-Dooby," little jazz invention, the juggling-all of those things Jerry had a hand in creating …. I remember the pool games he played with my father years later. They would go to McGrath's on Eighth Avenue and 49th, a downstairs pool hall; my father had his office over there. He would play, and they were both very good. There were all kinds of shady characters-a mob guy named Tony the Sheik and, a little actor, a dwarf, who was in that show Wild, Wild West. He used to play on a stool. It was straight pool. If they played for money, they probably would have won-they were that good …. His son, Chris, used to work with us. He's had some roles in Law and Order. The last time I saw him was when Peter Vallone ran for Mayor in 2001-they had a fund-raiser at the Third Street Playhouse, and Jerry was the host. I don't know his political beliefs, but trust and integrity were important to him."

Chita Rivera, co-star in Chicago

"Jerry was that guy, that Rock of Gibraltar. He had an entrance that was phenomenal. You'd look up and there he was-in his pin-stripe suit and fedora, smoking his pipe. When the lights hit him, he was like a rock. He always told this story about this one time, there was a number I did with the chair ["When Velma Takes the Stand"], I would say to him, 'Hey Billy, can I show you what I would do on the stand?', and he's supposed to say, 'Yeah, kid.' So on this particular night, he pulled up the chair, straddled it, looked me right in the eye and he said, 'No, you can't do it.' I didn't know what to say-I almost whispered, 'Jerry, what are you doing? That's not the line …. ' I just said, "But I gotta," and he shouted, "Gotcha!" He surprised the heck out of me. At the memorial, I was thanking Jerry for all the great memories, going back to the 60's, when I saw him in Carnival! And he was amazing in Promises, Promises-he was just fabulous. Where are the leading men now? … I don't remember him clowning around that much. When you work with Fosse, you're busy, it's hard work …. He was a guy's guy. I just remember him in the basement of the theater playing gin or poker with the stagehands …. I remember when he met Elaine [Orbach's wife], I came out to see them while they were doing Chicago at the Chicago Theater in Chicago, Ill. I was talking to them about coming back in the company to take it to L.A. and San Francisco. And I came down to the basement, and there he was playing cards with the guys, and just over his right shoulder, there was this cute little redhead. From that day on, I don't remember them being separated. It's the kind of relationship you envy."

Treat Williams, co-star in Prince of the City

"We were taking a break before shooting a scene for Prince. We went to lunch at an Italian restaurant, one of those joints on the Upper West Side, and we might have had a glass of wine. And we get back and we had one of those lines like, "I won't tell if you don't tell, because you know that I know what you know." And we just couldn't get our tongues around it. Jerry had the giggles, and it went from the ridiculous to the sublime. Sidney [Lumet, the director] loved to finish by 4:30, 5, and there we were, on the floor. It was just one of those things. One thing I don't like about Jerry Orbach is that he stole the movie from me …. I come from musicals myself-I did Hair-and we had a kinship; we both worked in all three mediums-theater, TV and movies. I felt a real kinship because very few people are able to bridge that gap …. We had a lovely get-together about a year ago, he was extremely happy, he loved his gym-I think he went to the New York Health Club-I could tell that he was really happy in his life and work."

Jimmy Breslin, author

"I met him when he was shooting The Gang That Couldn't Shoot Straight. It was down in Red Hook. We were setting up a picture from the set for Look magazine …. He did a movie that never came out, it was A Fan's Notes, the book by Fred Exley. Exley was crazy, walking around with nitroglycerin patches while smoking. And they would play cards …. He let me get friendly with [mobster] Joey Gallo, whom he met from doing Gang. Gallo wanted to meet him because Jerry was playing that character. They became friends. Jerry liked that a little bit-having wise guys around him. Everybody does. His [first] wife, Marta, she got along with Gallo, too. She was going to do a book on him. They were doing the shoot on President Street, around the corner from where Gallo was headquartered. Gallo might have been in jail at the time, because his boys always came over, and they introduced him once Joey was out. Armando the Dwarf came by-he was famous, he used to walk around saying he was Joey's bodyguard. He used to come around to see another actor, Hervé Villechaize, the dwarf. That little guy was starving if he didn't have two dollars. And he said that he wasn't making enough money-Bobby De Niro was getting $750 a week. He got very mad-that fucking little runt! …. And then Jerry was with Gallo the night he got killed. Yeah, they were at the Copa before Gallo went down to Umberto's. I remember when he got killed, Orbach said to me on the phone, "We didn't understand him," saying how good a person he was. He was shocked. He couldn't believe it …. Jerry was unique. He acted like another working man, none of that celebrity bullshit. He could do Broadway musical comedy-one out of five million can do that. Law and Order-he did it so well and so easily, he could go to sleep and do it …. The last time I saw him, he was sitting in a luncheonette at First Avenue and 69th and 70th Street. I was with my daughter, and we were coming from Sloan-Kettering. He wasn't in a mood to talk, and I knew that something was wrong. Nobody was in much of a mood-my daughter was sick. Nothing to say when you're there."

Dick Wolf, producer of Law and Order

"It must have been 1992, when Paul Sorvino was leaving the show, and I called Jerry. We had met prior to this, and I said, 'I'd like to sit down and talk to you about Law and Order.' The interesting part of the story was that it was the only acting note I gave him in 13 years. Jerry said, 'I'm interested, but I'm not quite sure how you see this guy. And I said, ' Prince of the City would be fine,' and he looked at me and said, 'Got it.' And that's the last acting advice I ever gave him. When Lennie Briscoe walked onstage, it was a fully formed character-there were no tweaks, no agonizing over the back story, just a guy who knew all that was required was essentially him …. I got an e-mail from a writer who worked with Jerry about 18, 19 years ago, and he wrote that the thing that he never forgot about Jerry was that he always ate lunch with the crew. The crews all loved him; he never forgot what it was like to have to worry about his next job …. I have an 11-year-old son, and a lot of times we go down to the set, and he loved Jesse [Martin, Orbach's co-star on Law and Order] and Jerry. When he found out that Jerry died, he was really crushed. He said, 'Oh my God, Jerry taught me how to use a yo-yo.' He was extraordinary with a yo-yo. He could do around-the-world, walk-the-dog, he could make a yo-yo talk …. He was the very embodiment of Spencer Tracy's words about acting: show up on time, know your lines and don't bump into the furniture. The only line changes that he ever came up with were sometimes to make the jokes better, or to change words that he didn't think a cop would have the vocabulary for …. It's extraordinary when you know how hard he worked-he was working up until three and half weeks ago. He was there. Everybody knew he was sick, but nobody thought it would happen now."

-Marcus Baram

The Transom Also Hears That ….

Dexter Wansel and Vincent Montana Jr. may have produced some of the smoothest love songs of the 60's and 70's, the soundtrack to the conception of plenty of thirtysomething New Yorkers. But that doesn't mean these creative geniuses are soft. Mr. Wansel, Mr. Montana and several members of MFSB, the band that helped create the signature Philly sound of soul music, have filed papers announcing their intention to sue their former record label, Philadelphia International, in New York State Supreme Court. "Dexter Wansel has not received royalty payments for over 30 years, with respect to the people he produced and in his own right," explained Jay Berger, legal coordinator of the Artists Rights Enforcement Corporation, which helps musicians recover royalty payments. "With MFSB, it's probably worse-they wrote the theme song for 'Soul Train,' they were the in-house band at Philly International, they had 14 solo albums and have appeared on 150 compilations, and they never received a royalty report." A representative for Philadelphia International didn't return calls for comment.

-M.B.

The women met two years ago when Ms. Vissi played Madison Square Garden Theater. "Before the concert, I went over to Astoria and picked up a T-shirt with Anna's image on it and made myself a tube dress out of it," Ms. Field said. "Then I made her a little tube dress out of an 'I Heart New York' T-shirt, and when she was onstage singing, I threw the dress at her."

As the exclusive clothier to the Sex and the City gang, Ms. Field has personally controlled the fashion trends of the last six years. However, whether her endorsement of the Greek songbird can similarly influence the music industry remains to be seen.

"It's difficult to say what'll happen when someone from overseas comes here. We're very used to exporting our own talent. It's difficult for outsiders to make it in America," said Marianela, the 25-year-old host of Daily Download on the Fuse network.

Thus, Ms. Vissi sagely enlisted the help of Jerry Blair, the former executive vice president of Columbia Records Group, who used to manage the careers of Ricky Martin and Mariah Carey (when they had them). Of course, if she doesn't go the way of Joss Stone, Ms. Vissi will always have Athens. This past summer, she performed at the Olympics closing ceremony. "Oh my God, she's the most well-known singer in Greece!" Marianela gushed. "She's, like, Madonna over there! You put her on and people lose their minds!"

"Everyone calls me the Madonna of Greece because I'm constantly reinventing myself, but I think I'm more like Bruce Springsteen, because I play for three or four hours at a time," Ms. Vissi said, tossing her highlighted waves. "I like to break the rules, mess up the place, make mistakes, fall on the stage. I hate when you go to a concert and nothing real happens. You need to rock it."

She frequently lets her audience storm the stage during her concert, which is what happened the last time she performed at Beacon Theater. "I let, like, 30 people come running onstage and we all started dancing, but then security got mad. They're afraid of the performer getting hurt. I'm not afraid of people, anyway-I know my audience. Besides, it helps break the ice! I will say that the show was thoroughly fu … um, messed up."

Bruce and Madge aside, others claim the singer is to the Greek community what Frank Sinatra was to the Italians. Several weeks ago, Ms. Vissi had caused a near riot when she gave an impromptu performance during dinner at Periyali, a popular Greek restaurant on 20th Street. "Everyone was talking about it," said Timothy Corscadden, 32, the vice president of a small fabric company, whose leather vest and pants showed off his extensive tattoos, including a three-pointed star down to his groin. ("Eventually my penis and scrotum will be solid black, but the head will be left as is!")

"I did not sing at Periyali!" Ms. Vissi said indignantly the next afternoon after partying till 8 a.m. "It's a very quiet place, a taverna. It has class and is not a place for someone to sing. Besides, they already play my music!"

Said Mr. Blair: "We'll go to a little restaurant in Astoria, and she'll come in with her own fish-that way, she can make sure it's fresh-and have them prepare it for her. And they'll do it gladly, because everywhere you go in Astoria, they all have her picture up."

Nearby, next to the inevitable girl in the tutu, was actor Chris Gampel. "Everyone's full of champagne, and if they're not, they should be-and that's one of your problems because you need a drink badly!" the octogenarian roared at The Transom. A tweedy man (and the only one at the party in earth tones), Mr. Gampel has appeared in Annie Hall, The Wrong Man and, most recently, on television's Ed and Law and Order: Criminal Intent. He befriended Ms. Vissi at a screening of The Merchant of Venice. He said that he'd come to the party for the food and that his musical tastes lean towards classical, so conversion was unlikely. "I don't understand it," he said of the party's ambient music. "It's noisy and it makes me yell and I DON'T LIKE TO YELL!" he yelled.

However, Anneliese Estrada, creative director of DIFFA, says it's only a matter of time before Ms. Vissi conquers the U.S. She's been a fan since the singer performed in Miami at the White Party, a gay, lesbian and transgender bash. Ms. Estrada put her arm around her girlfriend, "You know, the gays always spot the good people first!"

-Noelle Hancock

Darling Nikki

Looked up Nicky Hilton's number on the Internet and gave her a call. Well, actually I found Nikki Hillton, and figured it was a misspelling. In the picture on her Web page, she looked sexier than I'd imagined, with bigger breasts (36C) and taller (5-foot-9), and she wanted some company: "Holidays got you down? Well come spend some time with me!" Further down, she described herself as a fully functional pre-op transsexual who's "hot, horny and very accommodating."

Nikki: Hello.

GG: Hi, is this Nikki?

Nikki: It certainly is.

GG: Wow! I'm a …. I'm a huge fan.

Nikki: Why is that?

GG: I don't know, I've just been watching you and-

Nikki: Oh yeah, that doesn't sound very good.

GG: I'm not a stalker or anything, but-

Nikki: Yeah, well, and anyway, it really honestly doesn't sound good. Ha-ha! Really doesn't sound good.

GG: How's Paris? Wait. When can I see you?

Nikki: Um, it won't be until later in the week. Right.

GG: What are you doing now or the next coupla days?

Nikki: Uhhh. Who's this? Who is this?

GG: My name's George, I saw your ad.

Nikki: All right, George. And I don't know you, I've never met you.

GG: No, no, no, no-no-no-no-no. But can you give me some idea what we could do together?

Nikki: Uhh, you know, I'm really quite versatile. George, I'm not really getting into any more specific details than that? I'm very versatile.

GG: "Versatile"-I like that word.

Nikki: It's kind of a descriptive, yet non-descriptive word. Um, and I'm going to be in midtown, but it probably won't be until later in the week.

GG: O.K., I live on the Upper West Side.

Nikki: All right. I am going to be in midtown, 34th and Lexington.

GG: Oh, cool. I always hang out around there. I go to Bungalow 8 sometimes-I saw you there the other night. I didn't talk to you, though, but you, uh, cut the line at the bathroom.

Nikki: It wasn't me, sweetie-I'm not in New York!

GG: Oh, oh. Anyway, I'm glad that you broke up with Todd-that guy was kind of a loser, wasn't he?

Nikki: O.K., I don't know who that is.

GG: You're not in New York right now?

Nikki: No, sweetie. Not yet. But I will be.

GG: Are you working on your clothing line?

Nikki: (Pause) I think you've got me really, really confused with someone else.

GG: But you are going to be here at the end of the week?

Nikki: Yessss.

GG: And are you going to Bungalow for New Year's, or that party in Miami?

Nikki: I honestly don't think so. I think I'm gonna be here-well, when I get to New York, I'm gonna be in New York.

GG: What else might we do together? You said you're versatile, some idea of an evening we could spend together? And how much would it be?

Nikki: Uhh, well, it's $200 for the hour. I'll leave it at that.

GG: That's good, that's good.

Nikki: What we could do? We could have some fun-a lot of fun. I'll leave it at that.

GG: Great. And what should I do in the meantime?

Nikki: Umm, go about your life? I don't know. (Laughs) I'm not really sure what to tell you, sweetie. Listen, call me later in the week, O.K.? All right, sweetie. Bye, now.

-George Gurley

The Transom Also Hears …

… that society bands around the country have been busy in recent weeks competing for the ultimate gig-playing at the Inaugural Ball in Washington, D.C., on Jan. 20. Dozens of white-suited orchestras have prepared videos and sent them to the Inaugural Committee, which has yet to decide on all of the entertainment scheduled for the eight balls celebrating the re-election of George W. Bush that night. One New York bandleader, Alex Donner, who might appear to have the inside track-after all, he's the President's cousin on the Walker side of the family-is worried that the connection could actually hurt his chances.

"I knew it was always a disadvantage to be related to the President in New York City, where everyone is so liberal-I've lost more business than I've gotten because I'm a cousin of the President," said Mr. Donner, 50, who used to work as a lawyer for the late McCarthy-era legend Roy Cohn before becoming a high-society bandleader. His Alex Donner Orchestra, which brags that it covers everything from big band to Beyoncé, recently merged with another group, New York, New York Orchestras. "Now I hear that though they love the music, we may not be asked to play because the Inaugural Committee wants to avoid the appearance of nepotism, and because a New York society band may not project the image they're looking for."

-Marcus Baram

… that Bernard Kerik's trials and tribulations may be making headlines all over New York, but the rest of the country doesn't seem too fazed. The ex-NYPD commissioner, who recently withdrew his appointment as Homeland Security czar in the wake of numerous scandals and is now the subject of an inquiry by the city's Department of Investigation, is still the keynote speaker at the American Correctional Association's winter conference in Phoenix, Ariz., on Jan. 10. "Mr. Kerik was invited to speak last August, and we have not revisited that decision," said the A.C.A.'s spokesman, who wouldn't reveal Mr. Kerik's speaking fee. "We are looking forward to listening to him. He'll talk about issues related to law enforcement." Another group that stands behind Mr. Kerik is MedAire, a company which provides medical assistance around the globe to travelers and provides security consulting to Americans living abroad. Mr. Kerik joined the board of the Tempe, Ariz.–based company in May, and although he's visited its offices twice, he skipped the quarterly board meeting on Dec. 21. "He's still on the board-he hasn't resigned or done anything on those lines, and there's nothing underfoot to change that," said a spokesman.

-M.B.