Scenes from a Sorority
The saga of the great Greek freak-out continues, as the University of Maryland’s Delta Gamma chapter continues to recieve intense scrutiny after one of its members channeled her inner Carrie in an email sent to the entire sorority.
Today, the official word came down from Delta Gamma’s HQ, located in Columbus, Ohio in case you were interested in filling their position of a full-time, in-house attorney. (Interested applicants can apply here.)
It’s the standard boilerplate you’d expect from an organization doing damage control–”this letter in no way reflected the values of Delta Gamma,” etc., etc.– though it is worth noting that the international fraternity seems to promise some sort of secret, Greek-dealt justice for Ms. Martinson’s breach in ladylike conduct, on top of all the public shaming she is currently undergoing. Anyone who has ever been a pledge (or has watched a movie involving a pledge scene) can only shudder at the implications and recall Ms. Martinson’s own prescient words, “It’s going to a rough fucking ride.”
Rants and Raves
On Thursday, University of Maryland student Rebecca Martinson, a member of the Delta Gamma Sorority, achieved a level of Internet infamy after a private letter she had sent to her sisters was circulated around the campus and eventually sent to Gawker. Some were quick to call Ms. Martinson “psycho” and refer to her email as “insane” due to its rambling, incoherent and frankly confusingly venemous content (as far as we can tell, this was sent because some sisters were “being fucking WEIRD at sports”); ironically, it would take a sorority member or at least someone in a mean girl’s high school clique to truly appreciate the quick and effective destruction of a life with just one click of a forward button.
But we’re not here to pass judgement on Ms. Martinson or her colleagues. We’re here to watch two dramatic readings of the email: the first by Boardwalk Empire‘s Michael Shannon– which truly does bring to mind the actor’s role as a hallucinating schizophrenic in Bug–and the latter by a Barbie doll.
Before this weekend we believed the world could be divided into two sets of people: Those who liked the cheesy theatrically of a capella groups and those who would rather Lena Dunham their ears with a Q-tip rather than watch an episode of Glee or sit through Pitch Perfect.
But that was before this weekend’s International Competition of Collegiate A Cappella (ICCA) at The Town Hall in New York, where the Nor’easters of Northeastern University took home the grand prize and NPR’s Linda Holmes, writing on the radio station’s Monkey See culture blog, introduced us to the idea of non-ironic rockapella and a phenomenon known as “flirting on the square.”
This morning on the cold, bright steps of City Hall, several photographers huddled, shivering, waiting for the Two Ten Footwear Foundation conference to begin. The charitable foundation of the U.S. footwear industry was gathered to kick off Two Ten’s Footwear Cares National Footwear Community Service Week (whoof, what a title) in New York, where 14 shoe companies would be dedicating their time and resources to packing meals for the New York Food NYC, God’s Love We Deliver, GrowNYC, and the Occupy Sandy Recovery group.
A smattering of unlikely bedfellows trickled in: Kenneth Cole, Katie Butler of Nine West, two mayoral candidates–Public Advocate Bill de Blasio and Comptroller John Liu–former Council speaker Peter Vallone, City Councilwoman Gale Brewer, along with several other representatitves from the fashionable footwear industry.
TMZ.com, your trusted source of all the news that’s fit to vomit, had a hard-hitting exclusive today. “The older brother who was killed and suspected in the Boston bombings was deep into hip hop, and it appears he belonged to a fan website that touted that genre of music,” read a post that was titled “Dead Bombing Suspect Heavy Into Hip Hop.” The “article” then elaborated on what this relationship could mean:
What’s interesting … hip hop lyrics are notoriously violent and often degrading to women. Tamerlan Tsarnaev has a boxing profile in which he says he doesn’t take his shirt off much because he doesn’t want women to get bad ideas, adding, “I’m very religious.” This statement is significantly more conservative than the hip hop genre.
Unfortunately, this brilliant extrapolation has not been lauded for its hard-hitting investigative process. Instead, a new trend on Twitter–#TMZReports– has emerged, mocking the site’s perceived racism.
Last night, at The Cinema Society & Men’s Fitness after party for the premiere of Pain and Gain, Broadway stars Charl Brown and Ariana DeBose were still coming off their high from the night before, when they debuted Motown: The Musical in front of an audience full of the performers being played onstage.
“It was creepy, but also awesome,” said Charl Brown of meeting his real-life counterpart as revelers sipped Qui cocktails.
David Zinczenko, former Rodale Executive and EIC of Men’s Health, just signed a deal with Random House which the publisher is calling “unprecedented in scope.”
Not only will Mr. Zinczenko, BFF of Dan Abrams and author of the hugely succesful series Eat This, Not That, be penning new titles for a Random House imprint under his new contract, but will be getting his own, separate imprint as well, along with a publishing partnership for his new company’s titles, and, oh yeah, a swoonworthy amount of cash. And guess what? He’s totally worth it.
Are you guys ready to read tweets from Rep. Steve “The most conservative Congressman in Texas! 100% lifetime NRA, GOA, NAGR, Right to Life rating. Offended? Yell at @DonnyFerguson” Stockman?
Are you??! Because fair warning, he’s got himself a new bumper sticker idea, and it definitely includes some nonsensical sloganeering about abortion, babies and guns.
So…you ready for it?
If you’ve managed to go this entire week without subjecting your ears to the Brad Paisley/LL Cool J duet “Accidental Racist,” congratulations. Do not go seeking this song, which is offensive on many different levels but first and foremost, sonically. Like, it’s just a hard song to listen to, with the genres of rap and country blending as seamlessly together as an Uncle Kracker video. And that’s without even delving into the meaning of the song, which might have been trying for some meta-commentary on accidental racism by being the most racist song two people with good intentions could accidentally (on purpose?) make. Like, any song that references “a new fangled Django” is probably not going to be great, but the part where LL raps “If you don’t judge my gold chains/I’ll forget the iron chains” is so cringe-worthy it feels like watching Marnie tank Kanye West’s “Stronger” in front of Charlie’s new co-workers all over again! Possibly worse! (Definitely worse.)
So if you haven’t listened to it, don’t and just trust us that “Accidental Racist” is really, really bad… the kind of awful that can’t be fixed by going on Leno and talking coherently about why you agreed to do the song in the first place.
Okay, so technically this movie is called True Story, but the synopsis, via Craigslist’s P/T paid gigs pages, reads like it was torn from the Capote non-fiction novel:
SYNOPSIS: STORY OF A JOURNALISTS’ RELATIONSHIP WITH A MOST WANTED MURDERER AND A CASE OF STOLEN IDENTITY.
Short. Brief. Succinct. To the point. And more adjectives! (We wonder if Mr. Franco himself wrote the entry?)