We're not monsters: a cameo on Kimmy Schmidt leads to spoiler outrage. (Netflix)

Everything was a Spoiler and Nothing Hurt: A Binge-Watcher Responds to Hashtag Haters

Have you guys seen the House of Cards season finale yet?
No?! Oh my god, how come? What are you doing with your life?
It only takes 6.5 hours to watch The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, and you add that to the 13 hours of HOC’s third season, you don’t even equal a whole day’s worth of TV! What else are you doing with your time?? Sleeping? Eating? Watching The Jinx: The Life and Deaths of Robert Durst on HBOGo? (If so, that’s only like another 5 hours, so you just need to pull an all-nighter to cram it in.)

And House of Cards has been out a whole week now. And yet I’m as paranoid as Frank Underwood when *SPOILER* turned into a gambit to *SPOILER* for the Russians to *SPOILER SPOILER* in the Middle East.

Yeah, it looks like we’re going to have to start addressing the Spoiler Issue. Again.

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