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Cuomo/Paladino Gets The Onion Treatment

America’s Finest Satirical News Source is out today with their Midterm Election Guide and fortunately, the wrap-up includes a head-to-head comparison between Andrew Cuomo and Carl Paladino.

Among some of the gems:

Eyes:

  • Paladino: Droopy-serious
  • Cuomo: Twinkly-hopeful

Mother’s meatball recipe:

  • Paladino: Better than any restaurant, my hand to God
  • Cuomo: Friggin’ unbelievable

Top adviser: