If you really want to hear about it, the first things you’ll probably want to know are whether gray is my favorite color, whether I’m more comfortable in briefs or boxers, and if I was the one who tweeted that crude portrait from coast to coast. Well, no, I prefer maroon, in loose-fitting boxers, and Read More
Buzz. Zeitgeist. Electrifying!
Lists. Lists of lists. Lists of the greatest lists of lists. Lists of the most powerful lists of the greatest lists of lists. Lists of the lists that shook the lists that shaped the lists that changed the world forever. I should make a list of these lists. Or someone should make Read More
Let’s say I have $60 billion in assets, not frozen but liquid. And let’s say that after 42 years of glorious rule and personal enrichment, and a few weeks of pointless, no doubt Western-inspired bloodshed, I decide enough is enough. What if I moved to New York? What could that $60 billion buy me?
Postmodernity has culminated in my torn underwear. The fragmentation of my fishnets signals the teetering of a mode of authority that was in the end so much bad romance. In the depthlessness of my stare heralds equality in superficiality, and digitality allows my hair to be everywhere. The utopian gesture has in my heels undergone Read More
Who am “I”? And why do “I” have to be one person? Is it just because the letter “I” looks like the number “1″? Too many people are devoted to their own singularity. “I” am not a monad. Or should “I” say, “I” are not a monad. Or should “I” say, “I” are “we” are Read More
I come from Greece, the land of Zeus. What sprang full-born from my skull has now fetched $315 million. Now, like the Queens of Minos, I will rule an empire, an empire of content. The Internet is a labyrinth. Teeming and toiling within the endless maze are journalists, citizens, citizen-journalists and unique visitors. It doesn’t Read More
I have sat here in the desert for more than 4,000 years. I watched as Pharaoh Ahmose I expelled the dreaded Hyksos from the Nile. I saw the missionaries of Hatshetsup deliver her myrrh trees from the Land of Punt. Thutmose III forged his empire from the banks of the Euphrates to the fourth Nile Read More
I’m considering another run for president and weighing the pros and the cons. On the pro side, there’s power, fame, the chance to secure my legacy in history and thus ensure that I am remembered in the national consciousness for something more than a few cameo appearances on Seinfeld, as well as the chance to Read More
I’m working on my personal brand. I don’t want to be just a football player, a dumb jock who just throws balls in the air further and faster and more accurately than a few other guys (guys like Tom Brady). I want to be a whole human being. I want to have feelings, feelings that Read More
Of all the indignities I have suffered, the fiasco of incompetence that has resulted from my decision to sign my life rights over to Broadway producers is no doubt the most gratuitous, not to mention the corniest. And beyond the accidents, the orchestra pit tumbles, the broken ribs and the cracked vertebrae—all slurs upon my Read More
