RoseanneWorld.com (screengrab)

Political gray eminence and true living symbol of dignity and propriety Roseanne Barr announced Thursday that she will be a Green Party candidate for president. Ms. Barr, noted for her sober and rational public persona, has been a strong supporter of the party for years.

According to Ms. Barr neither major party is doing the job. Republicans and Democrats, said Ms. Barr in a widely-reported statement, "are servants--bought and paid for by the 1%--who are not doing what's in the best interest of the American people."

Ms. Barr is serious about her candidacy, stating in paperwork submitted to the Green Party that she will "barnstorm American living rooms" and that the "mainstream media" will not be able to ignore her.

Roseanneworld.com, Ms. Barr's website, has been converted to a red, white and blue design with a link at the top of the page to the Green Party Watch Presidential Poll--in which Ms. Barr is currently running second to Jill Stein of Massachusetts.

Just below Roseanne World's link to the Green Party poll is the following statement, related to this blog post: "Mayan prophecy told us that Decenber 21st, 2011 was the date when Patriarchy would completely die off the face of the earth, and that January 24th, 2012 - Divine Matriarchy would descend upon humanity. 'The Temple of The Great Mother' is the first sacred woman space to be dedicated in this new Time."

Ms. Barr has begun answering questions on her Twitter feed regarding plans for her administration, should she win:

@jadedamber i will use the powers of the presidency to make sure that every american has a job and free health care.

— Roseanne Barr (@TheRealRoseanne) February 3, 2012

We can only hope Ms. Barr will be included in as many debates as possible during the long run up to November.

[CBS Washington]

President Obama

Before he was leader of the free world cruising around in armor-plated vehicles with a Secret Service retinue, then-legislator Barack Obama allegedly tooled around in this tasteful gray Chrysler sedan. This is apparently a legitimate auction for the 2005 Chrysler 300C the President used while he was an Illinois State senator. Lisa Czibor, who has told reporters that she is holding the auction for someone else, says the  first 19,000 miles were all [future] presidential powered.

The auction holders are also a little defensive about the $1,000,000 asking price:

Also, please understand that the $1 million dollar starting price is not a joke:
** The President of Iran's ancient Peugeot fetched £1.5million at auction - only because it belonged to Iran's president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. Ahmadinejad drove the 1977 white sedan when he was the mayor of Tehran and put it up for sale on an auction site last year
** A light-blue 1975 Ford Escort GL once owned by Pope John Paul II sold for $690,000 to a Houston multimillionaire who put it in a museum.
** The current Pope Benedict's 1999 VW sold for $244,000 and he probably never drove it (as he did not have a drivers' license as a Cardinal, he had a driver).
** Billionaire buys Adolf Hitler's convertible blue Mercedes for $8 million.
** Plus, being from Chicago, we have seen someone pay $113,000 for the "Bartman baseball" that (supposedly) kept the hapless Chicago Cubs from reaching the World Series in 2003 - just to blow up the ball as a publicity stunt (probably to try and break the Cubs' curse). (No, hasn't helped yet......)
** Marc Ecko paid $752,467 in the bidding war for Bonds' 756th home-run ball.

The listing goes on to state that this is a "serious auction" and eBay "is not a playground"--an apparent nod to election year political tensions. However:

[What] you do with the Obama car after it is paid for is up to you..... you can put it in a museum, proudly drive it, or, you can use it as part of a Republican publicity stunt during the 2012 Election campaign - whatever you want once its bought & paid for...... I think just owning this vehicle would give the buyer a lot of coverage in the Press - maybe even $1 million worth of free publicity.

[Buzzfeed via Gawker]

President Ronald Reagan

It is said that on wintry primary election nights, if you stand in a sensible Republican bathroom at the Witching Hour with a candle in hand, slowly turning in circles while playing the video below on your laptop, Ronald Reagan, the Great Communicator, may appear in the mirror. 

That's an urban legend made up for this post, but the staff of Storyful was busily curating election-related video when they began to notice an ostinato playing throughout the symphony of Republican talking points issued in this political season. At every turn, candidates have been boldly invoking the memory of the affable 40th president. Reagan has become in this election year more of a mantra than ever before, used by every candidate as a rule by which they measure their worth as an aspirant to the Oval Office. At some point, each candidate clearly thought they were up to the Reagan standard.

Play Storyful's collection of 'Ronald Reagan moments' and simply listen. It's almost hypnotic after a while. Regardless of your own political bent, you may be murmuring "Reaganomics" or "supply side" before you know it.

Storyful: Ronald Reagan mentions by 2012 GOP Presidential candidates - YouTube. (via @AntDerosa)

Pawlenty, Huntsman, both gone. Newt, not so much.

Jon Huntsman has told advisers that he's done with his 2012 presidential campaign. Politico reports the Republican ex-governor--who many Democrats seemed to think of as 'the nice one' on the other side of the aisle--plans to throw his support behind front runner and fellow Mormon Mitt Romney:

A source said that Huntsman's rationale for backing Romney, who he has criticized for weeks on the campaign trail as lacking a "core," is that he didn't want to block the person best prepared in the field to beat Obama, and then to lead the country and grapple with the economy.

Huntsman campaign manager Matt David confirmed the decision to the New York Times, saying Huntsman felt it was time for Republicans to "rally around a candidate who could beat Barack Obama and turn around the economy."

Huntsman is the fourth candidate to leave the race.

[NYTimes.com]

In the The Adjustment Bureau, now in theaters, Matt Damon's campaign is engineered by fedora-wearing angels, who make little tweaks in reality in order to propel his candidacy. And in Limitless, opening Friday, Bradley Cooper plays a failed writer who stumbles onto an experimental smart drug that unlocks the "other 80 percent" of his brain. Soon enough, he, too, is a senatorial shoe-in. 

In the movies, of course, anything's possible. "Remember Animal House?" asked longtime operative Roger Stone, noting that the comedy's end credits portrayed John "Bluto" Blutarski as a future senator.

These days, even with supernatural assistance, defeating a New York incumbent would probably be an uphill climb, though Mr. Stone pointed out that "if divine intervention includes hundreds of millions of dollars, it could happen."

Hollywood's plot devices are probably easier for audiences to stomach than the brutal reality of politics in the state, noted veteran consultant Hank Sheinkopf. "A movie could never show the aggravation, the personal drain and the emotional upset of a real campaign," he pointed out.

Randy Credico, who mounted an unsuccessful bid against Senator Charles Schumer in 2010, was still fuming about his primary loss when reached by The Observer. "Chuck's got the real angels, which are the guys with $25 million!" Mr. Credico said. "Plus, he controls every federal judge."

Mr. Credico was speaking from the airport, where he was awaiting a flight to Nicaragua. The purpose of the trip was "to take a look at an assembly that actually debates stuff," he said, and to work on a book. "It's a kiss-and-tell," he added. "Schneiderman and Cuomo won't be happy. I know where the skeletons are buried, and they're all going to come out." Mr. Credico claimed he already had a publisher and an editor lined up.

Next stop, Hollywood!

We have one word for you, Mr. President, the next time you want to sweep into Los Angeles on a weekday late afternoon: helicopter. That way you can avoid the streets the rest of us mere residents must drive to get around.

President Obama's fundraising mission in Los Angeles may have been a whirlwind trip for him, but it was a tedious slog for thousands of people who found themselves in traffic gridlock from the Westside to Hancock Park.

Angelenos vented on the Los Angeles Times website and on Twitter. LA-based writer Nina Bargiel tweeted, "Dear Obama: I voted for you but my husband CANNOT GET HOME FROM WORK. This does not bode well for next time you need something."

Headaches continued today with the President's trip to Washington State to campaign for Sen. Patty Murray. The circumstances this time were not under the President's control. Around 2 p.m. (PT) Seattleites were startled by twin sonic booms in the vicinity of Boeing Field. The noise was produced by a pair of fighter jets scrambling to intercept a small airplane that entered temporarily restricted airspace over Seattle. Secret Service agents were said to be questioning the pilot, who flew within 8 miles of Air Force One.

All in all, things could have been worse for the President. Joe Biden could have come along for the ride.

Levin, who is 76, seemed to take it in stride, joking that it had happened before and that he preferred blueberry.

Ahlam Mohsen has been charged with disorderly conduct and assault. Witnesses and reporters on the scene said Mohsen stated that Levin was targeted to "send a message that liberals and Democrats are just as implicated in the violence (of war) as the Republicans."

A Michigan resident named Ahlam Mohsen was deported after being arrested in Palestine in 2009. Mohsen said at the time that she had been arrested after she intervened when she saw Israeli police "violently pushing an elderly Palestinian woman." Mohsen also said that it was obvious she'd been arrested because she is "of Arab descent."

Regarding Mohsen's alleged attempt to bludgeon him with a baked good, Sen. Levin issued a statement in which he said:

Two young people took advantage of the gathering to read a long statement accusing senators of war crimes, and one of the young people threw a pie in my face [...] They didn't hurt me, but they hurt their cause even more than their own extreme words had already done.

[Freep.com]

By our count, this marks the third time Sliwa has donned his regal trappings - complete with a sign, should you somehow miss his subtle point - to protest Andrew Cuomo's candidacy. This time, he targeted the attorney general's girlfriend Sandra Lee, whose "semi-homemade" lasagna was recently criticized by Andrew's mother. In Little Italy, the part of Lee was played by an enthusiastic woman in a low-cut turquoise dress.

Sliwa decreed that all lasagna in "Cuomolot" would now be made with cottage cheese and tomato soup instead of ricotta and sauce, as per Lee's recipe. He also said that there was no truth to the rumor that his "lapdog" Kathleen Rice would prosecute Lee for "first degree assault" on his tastebuds. Rice currently has Cuomo's backing as replacement attorney general.

Fun fact: according to the press release distributed before the event, it was the 18^th anniversary of Sliwa's brutal shooting at the hands of Gambino gangsters. Because what could be more life-affirming than harassing out-of-towners with your polemic noodle dish before being written up for blocking foot traffic?

Video below: