Seth MacFarlane (Getty Images)

Family Guy creator and Ted director Seth MacFarlane is to host the 2013 Academy Awards, the show's producers have announced via press release. Mr. MacFarlane, who has released an album of standards in addition to his Fox TV comedy and summer movie and recently hosted Saturday Night Live, is known for vocal impersonations and a love of Broadway-style musical numbers.

In recent years, the host's tux at the Oscars has been particularly ill-fitting: last year's announced host, Eddie Murphy, backed away from the ceremony when his preferred producer resigned as well, resulting in Billy Crystal's return from semiretirement. The year before, James Franco and Anne Hathaway, chosen in an attempt to appeal to young people, were seen as a particularly ill-matched duo, while one-time-only hosts like Ellen DeGeneres, Chris Rock, and Hugh Jackman haunt the 2000s.

Best of luck to the producers: At this year's Emmys, Mr. MacFarlane's microphone cut out as he presented an award. The director quipped that he ought to have expected a flub: he hadn't been to rehearsal.

The four men will, if experience is guide, receive a brief tribute at next spring's Oscar ceremony.

Until last night, Ms. Spencer's Wikipedia entry noted she was best known for her recurring role on Ugly Betty. Here she is talking about how she'll seduce her crush and imitating Mariah Carey:

Streep (Getty Images)

Last night's Oscars were as draggy as ever--perhaps it's time to give up the ghost of the hope that they can magically become a breezy ceremony, or at least to stop complaining annually that the jokes are hackneyed and the show's self-congratulatory. The jokes being hackneyed are kind of the point, and, given that this is a Hollywood trade show, the self-congratulation is REALLY the point. And the tributes would not have been so terrifically vague had they been able to be directed at nominated films people had seen--the Bridesmaids-a-palooza in the middle of the show should serve as a reminder of what the tributes at the Oscars look like when they're aimed at hit movies from this year and not "hit movies from all time."

The show's biggest surprise came late in the evening, when Meryl Streep beat out supposed front-runner Viola Davis for the Best Actress trophy; for those hoping for an epochal Oscar moment, it was both disappointing (Ms. Davis would have been only the second ever black Best Actress) and vivifying (Ms. Streep's Oscar was her third--and her first since 1983). The rest of the ceremony went according to plan, with top nominees The Artist and Hugo both winning five awards, the former in major categories and the latter in minor ones.

What else sticks out the morning after? Emma Stone's eagerness to take from Anne Hathaway the mantle of "the one eager to sing and dance" after it didn't quite work out for Ms. Hathaway. Chris Rock nailing sixty seconds of standup and, yes, fine, whatever, the same old Billy Crystal jokes Mom and Dad like. (We will say we've never gotten the "What the nominees are thinking" thing, but people apparently like it?) The Christopher Guest-directed Wizard of Oz parody, so utterly random it felt like a wonderful mistake. The indication that Tom Cruise has been rehabilitated by Hollywood in that he got to present Best Picture. Perhaps the best moment of last night was the appearance of Melissa Leo, the weird warrior queen of the 2011 Oscars, in a relatively normal sequined dress presenting an Oscar to someone else. Last year, she stole Kirk Douglas's cane--and this year, she just smiled and applauded and watched time march on and another Oscar ceremony enter the books.

What if God was one of us? (Getty Images)

Per Slate, only three Oscar-winning actors from the past ten years have thanked God in their acceptance speeches, while four have thanked Meryl Streep. All this and more in an obscenely detailed infographic tallying who has thanked whom, and in what position (first and last are most valuable, it would seem.) The biggest thing this made us remember was quite how LONG Halle Berry's speech was.

Meryl Streep, Oscar presenter (Getty Images)

The Academy has released an incomplete list of this weekend's Oscar presenters. Based on past experience, what categories shall they present. Here are our best guesses!

Christian Bale will present Best Supporting Actress; Melissa Leo will present Best Supporting Actor; Colin Firth will present Best Actress; Natalie Portman will present Best Actor. This gender-swapping return of last year's winners is a predictable tradition; the only thing surprising about it is that Melissa Leo won an Oscar one year ago instead of eight, which is how long ago it feels.

Halle Berry will present Best Documentary Feature and Short. This seems like her level of fame right now.

The cast of Bridesmaids will present Best Costume Design. Because women can make jokes about dresses!

Bradley Cooper and Emma Stone will present Best Sound Editing and Mixing. Only two charming young(ish, in Mr. Cooper's case) stars can get us excited about two seemingly indistinguishable categories.

Tom Cruise will present Best Picture. Doesn't it seem sort of weird that he never has? And doesn't it seem as though he's been fully rehabilitated?

Penélope Cruz will present Best Cinematography. Sure!

Cameron Diaz will present Best Art Direction. This is the sort of early-in-the-ceremony category for which it's perfect to have on hand an early-2000s star whose rep couldn't arrange something later in the ceremony.

Michael Douglas will present Best Director. He's already presented Best Picture twice but he's still a pretty prestigious guy. Practice saying "Hazanavicius," Gekko!

Will Ferrell and Zach Galifianakis will present Best Visual Effects. And do some sort of Rise of the Planet of the Apes-themed skit in the process.

Tina Fey will present Best Makeup. And tell a joke about how much makeup it takes to keep her from looking like either a wrinkled old man or an acne-scarred teenager in the process.

Tom Hanks will present the "In Memoriam" montage. He can't present Best Picture because one of his own films is nominated (the Academy's actually done this before when Jack Nicholson presented the prize to The Departed, but let's hope they learned from how gauche that looked) and his presenting Best Director would only call attention to the fact that he directed Larry Crowne last year. The only other thing someone with all Mr. Hanks's gravitas can do is present this segment.

Angelina Jolie will present Best Foreign Language Film. What a wonderful way for her to seem benevolent in defeat after not having been nominated for her own foreign film (which was not eligible in this category).

Jennifer Lopez will present Best Original Song. A theoretical actress and theoretical singer, Jennifer Lopez is the perfect simulacrum of a presenter of a music category at the Oscars.

Meryl Streep will present Best Adapted and Best Original Screenplay. "For actors [giggle, stern look over glasses], it all begins with a script," the star of The Iron Lady will inaccurately say.

Jean DuJardin, your Best Actor winner (Getty Images)

The Academy Awards are this Sunday--and we'll be liveblogging away at observer.com. So as to be optimally prepared for these mythical "Oscar pools" that exist only in the minds of entertainment writers, or at least to shout the winner a second before it happens, we've held the hive-mind of the Internet to our ear so as to decipher the buzz.

Here are your Oscar winners!

Best Picture: The Artist

We're not ruling out a more conventional win from the more-traditional and higher-grossing The Descendants, but it'd be a surprise given the success The Artist has enjoyed among critics and different guild awards so far.

Best Director: Michel Hazanavicius, The Artist

It's not as though they're rushing to award this relative newcomer, but his opposition doesn't look credible enough to split Best Picture and Best Director. His toughest competition is Martin Scorsese, who already won this award recently and whose film is thematically similar to The Artist, if less well-loved.

Best Actor: Jean DuJardin, The Artist

Be real. Do you honestly think we live in a world where George Clooney will have won two Oscars for acting as early as this year? While his work in The Descendants was praised early on, we suspect some voters may be attracted to the fresh, new thing in this category.

Best Actress: Viola Davis, The Help

While Meryl Streep really will win in this category one of these years, Viola Davis's movie was an actual hit with audiences and with the Academy--and the weird, hinky truth is that an Academy member will likely feel more virtuous for rewarding a portrayal of a noble, suffering maid than a performance as a controversial political figure.

Best Supporting Actor: Christopher Plummer, Beginners

One of two utterly dull supporting contests whose frontrunners have been ensconced since, like, November.

Best Supporting Actress: Octavia Spencer, The Help

The other.

Best Original Screenplay: Woody Allen, Midnight in Paris

The perpetual notion that, if one wills it hard enough, a standard-issue Woody Allen film can be a true comeback picture, became a fixed idea this year. Everyone loves Woody again! This is where this movie gets rewarded.

Best Adapted Screenplay: Alexander Payne and Nat Faxon & Jim Rash, The Descendants

And this is where The Descendants, a popular movie with no real chance at other honors besides Actor, gets rewarded.

All the rest:

Best Animated Feature: Rango

Best Cinematography: The Tree of Life

Best Art Direction: Hugo

Best Costume Design: W.E. [we know, it's weird, but the Oscars really love films about the royals in this category]

Best Documentary Feature: Paradise Lost 3: Purgatory

Best Documentary Short: Incident in New Baghdad [on the shorts categories, one chooses the most portentous-sounding title, except for Best Animated Short, wherein one chooses the loopiest title]

Best Film Editing: The Artist

Best Foreign Language Film: A Separation (Iran)

Best Makeup: The Iron Lady [the fact that the makeup that turned Meryl Streep into Margaret Thatcher is likely to get its own award would seem to take away from the performance that did the same, no?]

Best Original Score: The Artist [the tempest-in-a-teapot over whether this film stole unduly from the score for Vertigo shall likely matter little, as the score blares through the entire running time]

Best Original Song: "Man or Muppet," The Muppets

Best Short Film (Animated): The Fantastic Flying Books of Mr. Morris Lessmore [see the rationale for Documentary Short]

Best Short Film (Live-Action): Pentecost [see above]

Best Sound Editing: War Horse

Best Sound Mixing: The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo

Best Visual Effects: Rise of the Planet of the Apes

Sacha Baron Cohen, out of costume (Getty Images)

The Academy has warned Sacha Baron Cohen not to show up to the Oscars in character as "the Dictator," the title character from his upcoming fantasia on Middle Eastern themes. As Mr. Cohen's films rest somewhat on the tension between his invented characters and shocked but credulous citizens, and as he's run out of citizens that aren't aware of his characters, his last recourse is to bother celebrities and celebrity journalists--as he did at the MTV Movie Awards to promote Bruno.

Mr. Cohen is a co-star in the ceremony's most-nominated film, Hugo, but would prefer to promote upcoming projects than rest on kid-friendly laurels. Per an Academy spokesman: "We would hope that every studio knows that this is a bad idea. The red carpet is not about stunting." By way of context, the Academy warned the anonymous graffito/documentarian Banksy not to wear a mask to last year's ceremony when he was nominated for Exit through the Gift Shop; the South Park creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone went, the year they were nominated for Best Original Song, in costume as Gwyneth Paltrow and Jennifer Lopez.

While we're pleased to be spared Mr. Cohen's promotion cycle for The Dictator for one more weekend, the Academy ought to warn Best Actress nominee Rooney Mara, who attends every awards ceremony in character as the girl with the cyberpunk gown and the saddest smirk in the world.