There is this place Times Scare, on 42nd Street, that bills itself as an all-year haunted house. As if that’s a good thing! You know what we normally give houses that are haunted 365 days a year? No, not cash. An exorcism. We give those houses an exorcism.
Anyway, Times Scare is the worst place to walk by on, say, a cold January evening, because occasionally these horrible clown creatures with Rob Zombie makeup will just pop out of nowhere and start laughing maniacally in your face. And, again, this is in the middle of Times Square at five p.m. on a Monday, so there is no reason why a normal human reaction wouldn’t be to mace these people in their goddamn stupid clown faces. No jury in the world would convict you.
This is all to say that I hate, I HATE, I HATE getting scare-pranked. It’s so fucking dumb. It has its time in place in October, when its appropriate to be water-boarded for spooks and giggles, but the rest of the year, leave me alone. To that end, I am boycotting the rest of this season’s The Walking Dead, which had some recent “viral” promotion where it dressed people as zombies and hid them under New York City grates. Read More
After debuting on SNL over the weekend, featured player and certified black woman Sasheer Zamata had an even amazing-er video on Lorne Michael’s viral YouTube network, Above Average. Here she’s Madison, your guide to all things GIRLS-related in Bushwick, as she takes us behind the scenes of her SATC-inspired Lena Dunham tour. Read More
Anyone who missed the three-ring-circus of Chris Christie’s press conference yesterday afternoon was treated to a second round, courtesy of our 24-hour news and its unending cycle of highlight reels, last night.
Sure, it wasn’t the almost-two hours of rodeo clowning that was enjoyed by those of us who have access to TVs in the afternoon (the unemployed, the bloggers, the people who put together highlight reels for cable news channels, et. al), but on the plus side, last night’s coverage of Bridgegate came with bonus commentary.
And the winner of the evening, by far, was Stephen Colbert.
There were a lot of lovely parts on this weekend’s Saturday Night Live episode with Jimmy Fallon and Justin Timberlake, many of them music-related. (Our personal favorite was the “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” parody, because really, how rapey is that song?)
But the winner of the night was obviously the insta-classic “Twin Bed,” a bangable home-for-the-holidays anthem that somehow manages to get in at least five references to actual things you could find in our bedroom in our parent’s house. Read More
It’s like vacation’s already started, isn’t it? I mean, you’re there, you’re sitting at work, or blogging from home, or being a contractor in someone else’s home (and that it, that’s all the jobs there are), but really you’re a hundred miles away. You’re sunning yourself in Florida, or sitting by the fire in Vermont, or getting inappropriately drunk at a holiday party later tonight. That’s okay. No one is going to say anything, because we’ve all tacitly agreed to believe the lie that we should still be getting paid even though we’ve mentally checked out.
So kick back, put on your headphones, pretend to be doing an end of the year list, or some spreadsheets, whatever it is that contractors use the Internet for, and enjoy Zach Galifianakis’s holiday-themed episode of Between Two Ferns with Arcade Fire, Samuel L. Jackson and the guy from Spider-Man. Read More
Monday night at Barclays, former Beatle Paul McCartney did not catch the missile that was hurled in in his general direction by one of those t-shirt guns. Now, this might have been just another one of those celebrity game night candids, had an intrepid videographer (editor?) decide to slow down the footage and put the most appropriate song of all time in the background. Read More
Ah, this kind of stuff never happens to us. We’re never the people on the street just minding our own business, and all of a sudden a celebrity pops up and tries to get us into the spirit of the holidays. That literally never happens to us, but if it did, we can promise you we’d try to feign a little more enthusiasm than the people in this video. Read More