God Hates Fangs
50 Shades of Grey
Okay, because you remember how 50 Shades of Grey was actually based on Twilight erotic fan fiction? So there’s your connection right there. Also, we didn’t want to write two separate posts about these items, because The Observer is not into Vampires anymore. Or werewolves or shape-shifters or witches or any other kind of “come out of the coffin” clumsy supernatural metaphors for disenfranchised minorities.
Yech. Put a stake in that! Also put a stake in all those terrible vampire puns. (God Hates Fangs was clever for the first season, season and a half tops, and having vampires say that anything “sucks” is just lazy writing.)
So here’s the good news: 50 Shades of Grey has finally cast its two leads. No more speculation! Bad news: We have no idea who these people are. But more good news! True Blood is finally drawing to a merciful close in 2014. So there won’t be anymore of this:
Yesterday we commented on the announcement that the uber-popular sex novel Fifty Shades of Grey would not be adapted for the large screen by American Psycho’s Bret Easton Ellis. (Even though he really, really wanted to.) Instead, the job will go to Terra Nova scribe, Kelly Marcel, which pissed Mr. Ellis off to no end.
We reached out to the Nikki Finke-fighting auteur–whose film The Canyons just got a trailer–to have him elaborate on his booing of Ms. Marcel.
Sex and Fashion
Anyone who has been paying attention to Bret Easton Ellis’ Twitter account this summer knows the American Psycho author has had his sights set on writing an adaptation of the world’s most popular book, EL James’ 50 Shades of Grey. He was already dream-casting the project to include Lindsay Lohan, or possibly Lena Dunham!
But after the news that TV scribe Kelly Marcel (Terra Nova) would be doing the 50 Shades of Grey script, Mr. Ellis went on a wee rampage against the upcoming film.
Bret Easton Ellis
In the beginning, there was only darkness, and the lord said “Let There Be Twilight.” And it was good. (Well, not really.) On the second day, the Lord said “Let Twilight beget erotic fan fiction,” and lo, 50 Shades of Grey was taken from the spine of Stephenie Meyer’s Mormon vampire book. On the third day, the lord populated the earth with children of Grey: the book parodies, the sex toys, the male escort services.
Pop Culture Sex
Bret Easton Ellis’ Twitter feed is like his books: they might be gimmicky, and bizarre, and sometimes in bad taste…but they are never uninteresting.
Last time we checked in, the author of American Psycho was talking about a coked-up threesome he almost had with Rielle Hunter and someone else in the 80s. (It might have been Molly Ringwald or Jay McInerney!)
But on Monday night, Mr. Ellis went in a totally different direction, pushing his Kickstarter-backed film The Canyons with some scintillating casting.
“Fifty Shades of Grey Linked to Vagina Ball Explosion” read the headline of a TMZ article today that wasn’t about a gala held for older women’s lady parts. (That would be a Vagina gala.)
After our eyes finished bleeding, we managed to get to the actual subject matter: sex toys like Ben Wah balls have been on the rise since E.L. James’ Twilight erotic fan fiction-cum-bestseller featured them in her story of Christian Grey and his light bondage sex slave, Anastasia Steele. But can we chalk up the rise of sex toys to just 50 Shades?