MacFarlane on the Oscars last night.

Maybe it's because he called Ted "creative, adorable, ingenious and devilishly, thigh-slappingly hilarious," but our own Rex Reed made one for the history books last night by getting his own joke during the Oscar telecast. Host Seth MacFarlane, referencing Mr. Reed's recent controversial review of Melissa McCarthy Identity Thief, told the audiences that "Rex Reed will be out here to review Adele’s performance of 'Skyfall.'"

This line got a huge reaction on Twitter, as it was meant to. But the smartest insight into the joke's not-so-insidiously-clever bait and switch came from Venture Brothers and Henry Fool actor James Urbaniak:

On the other hand, has a critic ever gotten a shout-out from the Academy Awards before?

It goes without saying, Adele put on an incredible performance.

2013 Golden Globes, Bill Murray

If you are too busy watching the Australian cycling thing and can't understand what the hell is going on with Twitter (honestly, we don't know who you follow, but no one on our feed actually bothers naming the winners of these things), here are the latest updates for the 2013 Golden Globe Awards.

Best Motion Picture, Drama
WINNER: Argo
Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture, Drama
WINNER: Daniel Day-Lewis, Lincoln

Best Performance by a Supporting Actress in a Motion Picture, Drama
WINNER: Jessica Chastain, Zero Dark Thirty

Best Motion Picture, Drama
WINNER:

Best Motion Picture, Comedy or Musical
WINNER: Les Mis

Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture- Comedy or Musical
WINNER: Hugh Jackman, Les Mis

Best TV Series, Comedy or Musical
WINNER: GIRLS

Best Director
WINNER: Ben Affleck, Argo

Cecil B. DeMille's Lifetime Achievement Award/Freestyle Portion of Evening
WINNER: Jodie Foster

Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Series - Comedy or Musical
WINNER: Lena Dunham, Girls

Best Animated Feature Film
WINNER: Brave

Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Series - Drama
WINNER: Claire Danes, Homeland

Best Foreign Film
WINNER: Amour

Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series - Comedy or Musical
WINNER: Don Cheadle, House of Lies

Best Screenplay
WINNER: Quentin Tarantino, Django Unchained

Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in a Motion Picture
WINNER: Anne Hathaway, Les Miserables

Best Performance by a Supporting Actor in a Mini-Series or a Motion Picture Made for Television
WINNER: Ed Harris, Game Change

Best Performance by an Actor in a Mini-Series or a Motion Picture Made for Television
WINNER: Kevin Costner, Hatfields & McCoys
(RUNNER-UP: Benedict Cumberbatch, Sherlock)

Best Performance by an Actress in a Mini-Series or a Motion Picture Made for Television
WINNER: Julianne Moore - Game Change

Best Television Series - Drama
WINNER: Homeland

Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Motion Picture
WINNER: Christoph Waltz - Django Unchained

Best Performance by a Supporting Actress in a Mini-Series
WINNER: Maggie Smith - Downton Abbey

Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series - Drama
WINNER: Damien Lewis - Homeland

Best Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for Television
WINNER: Game Change

Best Original Song
WINNER: "Skyfall," Adele

Best Original Score - Motion Picture
WINNER: Life of Pi

Best Actress in a Motion Picture - Musical or Comedy
WINNER: Jennifer Lawrence, Silver Lining Playbook (Also, best speech? Y/N?)

Prior to the release of 21, the most recently-released album to go Diamond was Usher's Confessions, which dropped in 2004. Among the very few artists with recent Diamond albums: Britney Spears (Oops!... I Did It Again), Eminem (The Marshall Mathers LP and The Eminem Show) and Norah Jones (Come Away With Me). That last album's similar success was tied, as was Adele's, to fans among older music-buyers: though present-day versions of young Eminem and young Brit haven't been able to move records, mom and dad don't know how to torrent music.

A veteran press agent assesses the week in ballyhoo.

FAKE FEUD:  Desperate for attention after ratings for last year’s duo of big butt (JLo) and big lips (Steven Tyler) began dropping faster than Justin Bieber’s voice, American Idol took a page from the WWE playbook and decided  to stage what appeared to be a catfight between new judges Mariah Carey and Nicky Minaj. TMZ just happened to be on the scene when pink fright-wigged Ms. Minaj raised a loud ruckus, shouting, “If I had a gun, I would shoot the bitch.” Ms. Carey whimpered on The View the next day that she was hiring “extra security”—hopefully smarter than the protection she had in Don’t Mess With The Zohan. The most rattled anybody gets in the TMZ video is Keith Urban holding up his hands for a few seconds (“It wasn’t me, boss!”), and rolling his chair back slightly. The media are always hungry for a nice juicy cut of beef, and the battle made the front page of the Daily News, along with numerous other venues. We may not be able to recall the champion of last season’s Idol—the finale was down 32 percent in viewership—but the show’s PR team deserves a round of applause.
Flackery Index: 5.

I’M OUTTA HERE: You can blame two of the Baldwin Bros for inspiring JetBlue’s new “Election Protection” promotion. The airline is giving away 1,006 round-trip tickets to any one of their 21 international destinations to registered voters on their site if the presidential candidate of their choice is not elected on November 6. Who can forget Alec in 2004, declaring that he would bolt for Canada if George W. Bush were re-elected? We’ve seen him a few times on 30 Rock since then. Not to be outdone in pining for foreign citizenship, Alec’s brother Stephen, star of Bio-Dome, threatened to ditch the states if Barack Obama were elected in 2008. For all we know he followed through on the threat; the guy has scarcely been heard of since. So what about JetBlue? Jumping on the Presidential campaign extremist bandwagon may have paid off handsomely in press coverage, but we’d trade all those round-trip tickets for three one-way tickets for the Kardashian sisters.
Flackery Index: 2

JAMES BOND TAKES A LEAK: How do you tell if a song has been really “leaked” by pirates on the Internet or not? Go right to the PR department of the label—if they are as angry as a beehive, then odds are it was pirate booty. So it was interesting when Adele’s theme song for the new James Bond movie “leaked” last week, that the Columbia Records PR department went dead silent about the incident—and more interesting still when the song’s producer and co-writer Paul Epworth practically endorsed the thievery on Twitter: “I hear a short excerpt of "Skyfall" leaked … I can't wait for everyone to hear the whole thing because Adele's performance is jaw dropping.” Remember, conspiracy theorists, nothing’s an accident!
Flackery Index: 2.

SCHICK AND THE ’STACHE: Do the math on this one—in one of the few reasons to show up at Citi Field last month, legendary Mets first baseman Keith Hernandez got his famous mustache shaved off by a barber outside the stadium before a game. Schick jumped in to donate $10,000 to the Jacquelyn Hernandez Adult Day Health Center in honor of his mother, who suffered from Alzheimer’s. So when the barber whipped out his blade in front of reporters, TV cameras, bloggers, and fans, the organizers made sure Keith had a nice big Schick Turbo logo sewn on his bib right where everyone could see it. With all that massive coverage, Schick got at least $500 worth of advertising time per whisker, a veritable bargain for a $10,000 donation!
Flackery Index: 3.

Drew Kerr, a longtime practitioner of the dark arts of public relations, is the founder and president of Four Corners Communications. You can follow him on Twitter at @drewkerr.

"Nobody Does It Better," Carly Simon, from The Spy Who Loved Me

A perfectly saccharine 1970s Marvin Hamlisch that has next to nothing to do with spying, but for a shoehorned-in reference to the movie's title in the first verse. It could have been awful--but why'd it have to be so good?

"Goldfinger," Shirley Bassey, from Goldfinger

The haughty pronounciation of "Gold-fing-ah" and the shrieking of "Gold" at the end make this the most manic, and best, of Ms. Bassey's singles.

"The World is Not Enough," Garbage, from The World is Not Enough

Both operatic and weirdly icy, as fit the high-baroque, technology-obsessed Pierce Brosnan era.

"A View to a Kill," Duran Duran, from A View to a Kill

The very opposite of Shirley Bassey's timeless diva-belting, this is about as 1980s as it gets. It also makes the most gleefully nonsensical use of the movie's title out of any of these songs: "All we see is a view to a kill" is a lyric wallowing in how little it's trying.

"Die Another Day," Madonna, from Die Another Day

Sorry, it's true (or at least arguable): this is the best or at least most crazily committed thing that Madonna has done this century, and it gets special dispensation for that alone (most artists' Bond tunes, Paul McCartney, are tossed-off).

DISHONORABLE MENTION:

"Another Way to Die," Jack White and Alicia Keys, from Quantum of Solace

Speaking of just tossing off a subpar single: you can practically hear Alicia Keys counting her money as she sings.

Adele (Getty Images)

Adele is following in the imposing footsteps of Shirley Bassey, Carly Simon, and Duran Duran--and the less impressive ones of Sheryl Crow and Chris Cornell--with her new theme song to the upcoming James Bond thriller Skyfall. Her song, according to Roger Friedman, is to be called "Let the Sky Fall" and feature the lyric “Let the sky fall/Let it crumble/We will stand tall/And face it all/together."

This is Adele's first new material since her mega-smash 21 album, which came out in January 2011 but which the singer is still promoting, with a current cover of Rolling Stone. It's also to be the first James Bond title song to be performed by a big-voiced chanteuse since 1995's Tina Turner "GoldenEye" (sorry, Madonna and Alicia Keys).

But what will she use as grist for the ballads now? (Surely she'll think of something.)

Rihanna (Getty Images)

March 2012: "Chris Brown Meets With Nelson Mandela, Who Thanks Him for Service to Mankind"

April 2012: "Nicki Minaj To Record Note-for-Note Cover of 'Like a Prayer' Featuring Drake, Kanye West, Lil Wayne"

August 2012: "Rihanna Releases Seventh Album"

September 2012: "Lady Gaga To Release Album of Standards Sung A Capella, No Longer Wear High Heels, in Bid for Grammy Recognition"

November 2012: "Chris Brown Considered a Frontrunner for Nobel Peace Prize"

December 2012: "Adele's Four Grammy Acceptance Speeches Nominated for a Total of Twelve Grammys"

February 2013: "Taylor Swift Performs Song Striking Back at 2012 Grammy Critics At the Grammys"

March 2013: "Rihanna Releases Eighth Album"

April 2013: "Rihanna Releases Ninth Album"

June 2013: "Taylor Swift Spotted Feasting on the Heart of Her 2013 Grammy Critics"

July 2013: "Music Industry Scientists Freeze Springsteen's Brain: 'We Froze McCartney Two Years Ago But He Keeps Trying to Sing,' They Say"

August 2013: "Music Industry Scientists Develop Drug To Allow Americans To Forget Chris Brown's Violent and Misogynist Tendencies: 'What a Dancer!' Says America"

September 2013: "Somewhere In Wisconsin, Bon Iver Finally Finishes Ambivalent Grammy Speech"

Unfortunately, the profile delivers little in the way of revelation (much less than Anderson Cooper's 60 Minutes piece) unless you count the very original theory that Adele's personal life and lyrics can be explained by her absentee father.

Jonathan van Meter wrote:

"Perhaps it’s too easy to assume that Adele’s compulsion to find and keep a man, not to mention her attraction to older men, is all part of a daddy complex, but it is tempting nonetheless. The fact that she so exquisitely expresses her heartbreak over the loss and betrayal of men in her life through her music may very well be because she’s been feeling that loss and betrayal since she was a child."

To her credit, the 23 year-old singer handled the allegation with charming self-effacement:

“I have no idea where it comes from. I don’t read literature. I don’t have a very big capacity for language and words. I’m quite limited when it comes to just chatting. But my head comes alive when I’m writing music, and I start using words and describing emotions I had no idea existed in me.”

More disturbing to us is the fact that Adele spends the profile hanging out in riding boots made by Chanel. Last week, Chanel designer and Metro guest editor Karl Lagerfeld declared Adele "the thing at the moment"--this despite the fact that "she is a little too fat."

"I lost over 30 kilos over 10 years ago and have kept it off," Mr. Lagerfeld later offered, by way of apology. "I know how it feels when the press is mean to you in regards to your appearance."

Of course, after one has sat for her first Vogue cover (and without being ordered by editor Anna Wintour to lose weight for it, no less), a dig from the free subway newspaper has little impact.

"I've never wanted to look like models on the cover of magazines," Adele told People magazine in response to his comments. "I represent the majority of women and I'm very proud of that."

In 2009, Ms. Wintour styled Adele for the Grammys, and she was escorted by Hamish Bowles.

We hope Adele loses the boots and writes Mr. Lagerfeld off as free material for the next album. Who needs ex-boyfriends when there are fashion fascists?

Adele at tonight's Grammys (Getty Images)

Tonight's Grammys are to feature a tribute to Whitney Houston and a comeback-from-surgery performance by heavily-favored multiple nominee Adele. We'll be watching closely to see if the British chanteuse can claim Record, Song, and Album of the Year--or if other big nominees like Bon Iver (for the song "Holocene") and Foo Fighters (for the album Wasting Light) can beat her out--though we may flip the channel when Chris Brown performs.

11:19. After another so, so-long commercial break, Diana Ross presents Album of the Year to Adele, who's crying and shouting out her mom and mentioning the "rubbish relationship" that inspired 21. Paul McCartney is said to be performing next but we're going to bed!

11:12. Adele's speeches have all been charming, brief, and gracious--she's like a model for how to accept an award you know you're going to win (which is always such a fraught thing).

11:10. Last year's Record of the Year winners Lady Antebellem present this year's award to an act without any slavery nostalgia in her name, Adele, for "Rolling in the Deep."

11:08. As much as her year was not as amazing as past years in her career, Lady Gaga is, I guess, pretty influential. This mess doesn't happen without her making it "okay." And, of course, the Opus Dei/exorcism stuff is a blatant swagger-jack from Madonna circa 1989.

11:07. Nicki Minaj does not seem to be lip-synching, per se, but some of the verses in the first minute of her performances were magically completed absent movement of the mouth.

11:06. Oh, okay, this whole thing is an Exorcist short film. I'm surprised they gave Minaj this much screentime and leeway?

11:05. Nicki Minaj redeems her sadness over losing Best New Artist by doing an apparent exorcism-themed "Roman's Revenge" takeoff, mashed-up with "I Feel Pretty."

10:57. Maybe television is not the best medium to watch a D.J.

10:55. There are so many musicians not performing at the Grammys that a second go-round for Chris Brown AND the Foo Fighters seems very odd.

10:52. I think I sat behind David Guetta on a Greyhound bus, unless it was the transient who looks just like him!

10:50. ?uestlove is presenting a tribute to Don Cornelius with LL Cool J, and then we're jump-cutting to some "Nokia dance club" with David Guetta and the Foo Fighters and Chris Brown and glowsticks and if this show is keeping me awake how am I having a nightmare.

10:45. Okay, that was really good--something that would have been too similar to Whitney Houston's performance would have been uncanny, and this was utterly tasteful and great. Too bad there's not a similar tribute to be launched in Amy Winehouse's honor but one cannot have everything.

10:43. Jennifer Hudson is less hit-you-like-a-truck powerful and goes into the  higher register more than Whitney, but she's clearly super-emotional now.

10:42. Oh, mercy, it's the Jennifer Hudson performance of "I Will Always Love You."

10:34. This speech is the longest of the night and it's just about how Bon Iver hates the Grammys.

10:33. Nicki Minaj IN NO WAY is willing to pretend to be pleased Bon Iver won the Best New Artist prize.

10:32. The pair are singing "It Had To Be You," as your blogger hums along, looking longingly at his bed.

10:30. Carrie Underwood claims that Tony Bennett is her favorite artist of all time, which seems unlikely. The pair are presenting Best New Artist. This crowd gives the MOST standing ovations.

10:20. The Shelton Blake and the Band Perry perform a tribute to the Campbell Glen.

10:10. Adele gets a long standing ovation, capped by a reaction shot of Rihanna holding her temples.

10:08. My favorite Grammy sweeps by ladies in the past, in order: Beyoncé (early-2000s), Lauryn Hill, Beyoncé (early-2010s), Amy Winehouse.

10:07. Adele's hair looks really, really lovely.

10:05. The possessor of the best voice in the world, Gwyneth Paltrow, introduces the second-best, Adele.

10:03. This CBS commercial is LL Cool J's most significant presence of the past two hours.

9:59. Best Country Album goes to last year's big victors in Record of the Year, Lady Antebellum.

9:57. This song is very designer-impostor Pat Benatar.

9:55. I am still not over how weird and abortive the "E.T." performance was. Was it some sort of symbolic thing about being a girl, interrupted?

9:54. It seemed that the sound mix totally flared out but in fact Katy Perry just migrated to the ceiling in order to sing a new breakup song about Russell Brand?

9:53. Okay, sorry, I like "E.T." way more than Taylor Swift talking in "Mean" about how great her career will be someday, mainly because Katy Perry's performance here, with lasers and a robot suit, is like what a child imagines being a pop star is like.

9:50. Song of the Year goes to Adele and her writing partner for "Rolling in the Deep." She's still chewing gum and gives like a 20-second speech.

9:44. Oh nooo, am I the subject of this song?

9:43. Somewhere, Frances Conroy's looking for the costumes she wore on Six Feet Under and just sees a note reading "I.O.U. one stage outfit --T.S."

9:42. This song is about how Taylor Swift had been criticized by... I think everyone?... after performing shakily with Stevie Nicks at the Grammys a few years back. The ouroboros of Taylor Swift is less interesting than she likely finds it.

9:41. "I just want to be okay again" is still the most therapy-speak lyric of all time.

9:40. It is really quite odd that Taylor Swift's follow-up to an Album of the Year winner didn't get any major nominations tonight, but it was nice of the Grammys to rebuild the garbage pile from Cats for her to dance on.

9:38. Chris says he's nervous and doesn't know what he should do. I hope he doesn't punch the mic stand!

9:36. Common and Taraji P. Henson salute Gil Scott-Heron and present Best R&B album to Chris Brown, who despite being the most famous person in the category by far, is just... okay (so hard, really, not to keep using that word). Thank everyone for not including a Rihanna reaction shot.

9:35. Oh, right, this song is about Nancy Shevell.

9:34. This song about Valentine's Day sounds like a wonderful song for a funeral scene in a film nominated for the Best Foreign Film Oscar.

9:32. Between Paul McCartney and the Beach Boys, tonight there have been a lot of elder statesmen plopped on the stage and seeming just so slightly shaky.

9:31. Stevie Wonder invokes Whitney Houston's name for what feels like the first time in about an hour.

9:26. The commercials during this show are notably musician-centric--e.g. Jennifer Lopez for some fancy speakers, Taylor Swift for Cover Girl--but Wiz Khalifa for Bing feels a little left-field, for so many reasons.

9:23. Oprah is Tweeting during the commercial breaks trying to get people to watch OWN.

9:22. Beach Boyz II Men. This sounds fine but like, at least three people onstage look like they were just forcibly awakened and they're not happy about it.

9:19. The lead singer of Foster the People has really mastered singing right through his nostrils.

9:17. Maroon 5 performs a tribute to the Beach Boys. It's so hard to think of things to say nearly 90 minutes into the Grammys other than just "okay!" over and over.

9:16. Dave Grohl's speech about the human element of music is drowned out by LMFAO and an announcement of Ryan Seacrest's appearance. Oxymorons: they're striking again!

9:14. The Foo Fighters win, which, after Coldplay's lackluster performance (thank God they had Rihanna on hand!) is welcome. It would have been fun if, like, The Decembrists won, just because "who is the arcade fire?" was a fun moment. Dave Grohl says this record was made in a garage and criticizes, implicitly, musicians who work in studios, and yet everyone cheers?

9:12. The "goth," or "indie," or whatever, NCIS star is with two of the New York Giants to present Best Rock Performance.

9:02. Let's play Coldplay/Rihanna's "Princess of China" and the Glenn Close-penned theme to Albert Nobbs back to back and see if the "la la la la la" parts are distinguishable.

9:00. "Make some noise for Whitney" during an onstage dance battle featuring vocals that hit three notes in toto may have, despite our love of Rihanna, have been one of the evening's odder moments.

8:58. After the orchestral, syrupy stuff dropped out, now she's just singing the normal disco version. Having a single go to number-one in Billboard and performing it competently tonight may be Rihanna's revenge against professional steampunk-robot middle-schooler Chris Brown.

8:56. Rihanna and Coldplay perform, but not before the best pop star of the decade, yup, performs a "sadcore" remix of "We Found Love."

8:54. It took the Target ad of a bus of schoolchildren singing "Rolling In the Deep" for me to accept that that song is actually a "new standard," or whatever.

8:51. After that performance, time for ten more minutes of commercials!

8:48. There's so little to say about the performances tonight. Dave Grohl is fine. Fine! But by this time last year we'd had a series of mini-costume dramas, if memory serves. Where is our Cee-Lo and Gwyneth this year? Dare we say it--where are the Grammy moments?

8:38. Jason Aldean and Kelly Clarkson looks like something from the Oscars. To wit: "Billy Crystal's Steampunk-Country Tribute to Hugo"

8:37. Reba McEntire, who looks the same today as she did in 1985, talks up the "Grammy moment" notion that no one has ever considered outside the Staples Center. Duet between Jason Aldean and Kelly Clarkson, whatever.

8:36. The award goes to Jay-Z and Kanye West for "Otis," who are in absentia. 36 minutes in and one acceptance speech!

8:35. Fergie and Marc Anthony are presenting the award for Best Rap Performance--she in a see-through red lance concoction, he in the open white Oxford he's been wearing constantly since the late 1990s.

8:28. The performance of Chris Brown is a good occasion to recall that the Grammys exist in staggeringly large part to promote the record industry's decadent and destructive system of exploitation of youth that ends up taking the lives of so many talented artists.

8:27. All I will say about the apparent culture-wide forgiveness of Chris Brown--who three years ago this weekend brutally beat up his girlfriend, an action for which he has never expressed much more than a "sorry you're mad" perfunctory attitude of penitence alternating with "poor-me" tirades--is astonishment that the artist whose every misdeed America can forgive is one in possession of such a weak, nasal voice. In the same way Jennifer Hudson once won an Oscar for singing, Chris Brown gets nominated for Grammys for jumping on scenery at awards shows.

8:26. Let's work as a society to prevent the "fake mad" reaction shot by an awards loser. Bruno Mars, with your jumping up in frustration whose fakeness itself might be fake, this is me shaming you in public.

8:25. I think Lil Wayne just found out who Adele was."

8:24. Best Pop Solo Performance (which is no longer separated by gender) goes, unsurprisingly, to Adele for "Someone Like You."

8:22. This performance is lovely, though Alicia Keys's front-facing bun will be unfortunately familiar to viewers of last night's Saturday Night Live performances by a band known as Karmin.

8:20. Bonnie Raitt and Alicia Keys are to present an award, but first they are singing in a tribute to Etta James.

8:19. The trailer for The Lorax uses Vampire Weekend! This is the best Grammy moment of the night.

8:16. "Coming up: more Grammy moments you won't want to miss: a performance by Chris Brown..." I am trying to remember what I learned in English class: Is that an oxymoron, a contradiction, or just a misunderstanding of my capacity for forgiveness?

8:15. Okay, FINE, all joking aside, Bruno Mars is probably more charismatic than 95% of the performers will be tonight.

8:13. Bruno Mars, after exhorting the audience to get off their "rich asses," shouted "James Brown" as many times as Bruce Springsteen said "we take care of our own." He's good at splits, though!

8:11. Continuing the theme of overselling the Grammys' importance, Bruno Mars is in an all-gold outfit with a sign about him reading "Live on Stage." We get it, TV show! You are the capital-G Grammys!

8:10. The host is now humorlessly shouting out Adele--tipping the show's hand a bit--and talking about "Grammy moments," a concept which has always seemed a bit overstated with regard to an awards ceremony people watch out of grim duty and February boredom.

8:08. LL Cool J announces that there have been moments in past Grammy ceremonies "we will remember for the rest of our lives," which is, well, I don't think the Grammys themselves are what people who like music remember! That may be overstating their centrality. That said, the clip of Whitney Houston singing "I Will Always Love You" is something else.

8:06. LL Cool J, who is hosting the show for CBS-synergy reasons (he's on the NCIS spinoff), engages the audience in a prayer. Nothing sarcastic to say!

8:05. There were just like eight reaction shots of under-25 pop singers, all of whom are completely encased in crystal.

8:03. Did you hear that? Somewhere in Manhattan, a New York Times editor just assigned a Sunday Review piece in the similarities between this song and Clint Eastwood's Chrysler ad.

8:02. "'We take care of our own' [repeat twelve times]" --sheet music to the chorus of Bruce Springsteen's new song

8:01. Why does Bruce Springsteen get a pass on the old-man earring look while Harrison Ford gets pilloried?

8:00. The show opens with Bruce Springsteen--while they're likely saving the Whitney tribute until later in the evening, this feels a bit random.