Yes you are!

Updated: Tina Fey responds below!
Have you been reading all about Taylor Swift telling Amy Poehler and Tina Fey that they are going to hell for their Golden Globes jokes in the most recent issue of Vanity Fair? Or wait, was that Katie Couric who told Taylor Swift that, and the singer was just relating it back in an anecdote? Did Amy Poehler say she was actually going to hell? Did Couric totally rip off a very famous Madeleine Albright quote about a basketball?

If you are confused, don't worry. Here are some GIFs from Mean Girls to help explain.

Okay, so first of all there is Taylor Swift, who is a person who is not above mocking her ex at Grammys during her opening song, because:

And she is pissed because during the Golden Globes, Amy Poehler and Tina Fey were making some jokes, and one happened to land on her. Technically, Ms. Fey was the one who dug it to the singer about her relationship with Harry Styles, warning her not to go after Michael J. Fox's son.
"Or go for it!" Ms. Poehler said.
"No, she needs some me time, for herself," Ms. Fey countered. Remember, they were pretending to be drunk.

And then Taylor Swift, who never told Kanye West to go to hell BY THE WAY, was all:

So she waited until she was on the cover of Vanity Fair this month, so she could say this in a profile (re: the Golden Globes jokes):

"You know, Katie Couric is one of my favorite people, because she said to me she had heard a quote that she loved, that said, 'There’s a special place in hell for women who don’t help other women.'"

Because seriously, Amy and Tina, don't even try to mess with the girl who literally wrote a song called "Mean":

Unfortunately for Katie Couric, who you just know is feeling like:

Especially when it was Madeleine Albright who actually said that.

So right out the gate, we're pretty much feeling:

But luckily, Amy Poehler is a classy lady, and responded, "Aw, I feel bad if she was upset. I am a feminist and she is a young and talented girl. That being said, I do agree I am going to hell. But for other reasons. Mostly boring tax stuff."

Ms. Swift has not yet responded, nor has Tina Fey. But as it stands right now, we have Amy Poehler being all:

While a grown-ass 23-year-old is freaking out in a corner, like:

Update: On Wednesday, Ms. Fey joined the fracas, telling Us Weekly that Swift should just get over it."It was just a joke, and I think it was actually a very benign joke," said the comedian. To New York Magazine, she added that the young singer wasn't the only one who could take out her fury in verse:

"Me, too, though! Me, too. I could do a song. I could do a whole song about it."

Which, as much as we'd like to see, is also kind of defensive response for someone so much older, wiser, and cooler than Taylor Swift. Like, turn the other cheek, Tina Fey! You do not have to drag yourself down to "Dear John" levels! Be more like Poehler, who has a new social network for girls about self-esteem issues, instead of the woman thinking up satirical songs that rhyme "Swift" with "John Mayer's dick."

Best prank ever! (Bravo)

Ha ha. Love this. It's not even technically a "prank," so much as a very good method for finding out what former co-workers really thought about you. All you do is wait until they are on a nationally syndicated program, and then call up the show pretending to be someone named "Coco" from "New Hampshire." You don't even have to mask your voice!

Then you can ask them what it was like working with you (their former colleague), and they will be forced to say the absolute truth, lulled into a false sense of security by the thought that you (former co-worker) is not only not tuning into this nationally syndicated program, but could in no way be the caller yourself.

Pro tip: Do not do this on Andy Cohen's Watch What Happens Live, because that man either has Caller ID flashing on his teleprompter or has memorized the voices of everyone on television. Probably the latter.

We love you, Amy Poehler. We love you, Seth Meyers. We are kind of mad at you, Andy Cohen, for not letting this joke play out a little longer, but we love you too. And let us just say, we are really looking forward to when Shia Lebeouf tries this on Alec Baldwin next month.

Golden Globe nom-toppers. (Various)

Not too many surprises this year in the nominations, announced today, for the 2013 Golden Globe Awards. This year, Tina Fey and Amy Poehler will be making history as the first female duo to host the ceremony, held on Jan. 13., but other than that, it's all Lincoln (seven nominations), Argo (five) and Django Unchained (ditto).

In television, we're looking at dramas like Game Change (five), Homeland (four, including one for "The Bear" Patinkin), Downton Abbey and, yikes ... how did The Newsroom (two) manage to get on there? That's more nominations than Mad Men (one) received! Comedies remained from last year: Girls, 30 Rock and Modern Family topped the chart. HBO shot to the top of the chart with 17 nominations total, and in a distant second place came Showtime, with seven.

Read the full list below:

Best Motion Picture, Drama

Argo
Django Unchained
Life of Pi
Lincoln
Zero Dark Thirty

Best Motion Picture, Musical or Comedy

The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel
Les Misérables
Moonrise Kingdom
Salmon Fishing in the Yemen
Silver Linings Playbook

Best Actor in a Motion Picture, Drama

Daniel Day-Lewis, Lincoln
Richard Gere, Arbitrage
John Hawkes, The Sessions
Joaquin Phoenix, The Master
Denzel Washington, Flight

Best Actor in a Motion Picture, Musical or Comedy

Jack Black, Bernie
Bradley Cooper, Silver Linings Playbook
Hugh Jackman, Les Misérables
Ewan McGregor, Salmon Fishing in the Yemen
Bill Murray, Hyde Park on the Hudson

Best Actress in a Motion Picture, Drama

Jessica Chastain, Zero Dark Thirty
Marion Cotillard, Rust and Bone
Helen Mirren, Hitchcock
Naomi Watts, The Impossible
Rachel Weisz, The Deep Blue Sea

Best Actress in a Motion Picture, Musical or Comedy

Emily Blunt, Salmon Fishing in the Yemen
Judi Dench, The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel
Jennifer Lawrence, Silver Linings Playbook
Maggie Smith, Quartet
Meryl Streep, Hope Springs

Best Supporting Actor in a Motion Picture

Alan Arkin, Argo
Leonardo DiCaprio, Django Unchained
Philip Seymour Hoffman, The Master
Tommy Lee Jones, Lincoln
Christoph Waltz, Django Unchained

Best Supporting Actress in a Motion Picture

Amy Adams, The Master
Sally Field, Lincoln
Anne Hathaway, Les Misérables
Helen Hunt, The Sessions
Nicole Kidman, The Paperboy

Best Director

Ben Affleck, Argo
Kathryn Bigelow, Zero Dark Thirty
Ang Lee, Life of Pi
Steven Spielberg, Lincoln
Quentin Tarantino, Django Unchained

Best Screenplay, Motion Picture

Mark Boal, Zero Dark Thirty
Tony Kushner, Lincoln
David O. Russell, Silver Linings Playbook
Quentin Taratino, Django Unchained
Chris Terrio, Argo

Find out which star's daughter is Miss Golden Globe

Best Foreign Language Film

Amour (Austria)
A Royal Affair (Denmark)
The Intouchables (France
Kon-Tiki (Norway)
Rust and Bone  (France)

Best Animated Feature Film

Brave
Frankenweenie
Hotel Transylvania
Rise of the Guardians
Wreck-It Ralph

Best Original Song, Motion Picture

"For You," Act of Valor, Monty Powell & Keith Urban
"Not Running Anymore," Stand Up Guys, Jon Bon Jovi
"Safe and Sound," The Hunger Games, Taylor Swift. John Paul White, Joy Williams & T Bone Burnett
"Skyfall," Skyfall, Adele & Paul Epworth
"Suddenly," Les Misérables, Claude-Michel Schonberg & Alain Boublil

Best Original Score, Motion Picture

Mychael Danna, Life of Pi
Alexandre Desplat, Argo
Dario Marianelli, Anna Karenina
Tom Tykwer, Johnny Klimek, Reinhold Heil, Cloud Atlas
John Williams, Lincoln

Best TV Movie or Miniseries

Game Change
The Girl
Hatfields & McCoys
The Hour
Political Animals

Best TV Series, Drama

Boardwalk Empire
Breaking Bad
Downton Abbey
Homeland
The Newsroom

Best TV Series, Comedy

The Big Bang Theory
Episodes
Girls
Modern Family
Smash

Best Actor in a TV Series, Drama

Steve Buscemi, Boardwalk Empire
Bryan Cranston, Breaking Bad
Jeff Daniels, The Newsroom
Jon Hamm, Mad Men
Damian Lewis, Homeland

Best Actor, TV Series Comedy

Alec Baldwin, 30 Rock
Don Cheadle, House of Lies
Louis CK, Louie
Matt LeBlanc, Episodes
Jim Parsons, The Big Bang Theory

Best Actress in a TV Series, Drama

Connie Britton, Nashville
Glenn Close, Damages
Claire Danes, Homeland
Michelle Dockery, Downton Abbey
Julianna Marguiles, The Good Wife

Best Actress in a TV Series, Comedy

Zooey Deschanel, New Girl
Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Veep
Lena Dunham, Girls
Tina Fey, 30 Rock
Amy Poehler, Parks and Recreation

Best Actor in a Miniseries or TV Movie

Kevin Costner, Hatfields & McCoys
Benedict Cumberbatch, Sherlock
Woody Harrelson, Game Change
Toby Jones, The Girl
Clive Owen, Hemingway & Gellhorn

Best Actress in a Miniseries or TV Movie

Julianne Moore, Game Change
Nicole Kidman, Hemingway & Gellhorn
Jessica Lange, American Horror Story: Asylum
Sienna Miller, The Girl
Sigourney Weaver, Political Animals

Best Supporting Actor in a Series, Mini-Series or TV Movie

Max Greenfield, New Girl
Ed Harris, Game Change
Danny Huston, Magic City
Mandy Patinkin, Homeland
Eric Stonestreet, Modern Family

Best Supporting Actress in a Series, Miniseries, or TV Movie

Hayden Panettiere, Nashville
Archie Panjabi, The Good Wife
Sarah Paulson, Game Change
Maggie Smith, Downton Abbey
Sofia Vergara, Modern Family

Cecile B. DeMille Award

Jodie Foster

Person of the week: Amy Poehler! (ABC)

Amy Poehler and Tina Fey will be hosting the Golden Globes this year. This is a big "first," since never before in herstory have two women been allowed to share the same stage in Hollywood, for fear they would start shredding each other's clothes and tearing out clumps of hair.

But being on TV and being friends with Tina Fey aren't the only two things Ms. Poehler is good at. She also gives #RealTalk lady advice to young women on her website, Smart Girls at the Party.

That is why ABC World News was impressed enough to name Ms. Poehler "Person of the Week." It's truly an honor, as the following video from last night's broadcast clearly shows.

http://youtu.be/WDeRoWPbFXc

We especially like how David Wright's three questions to the talented actress, comedian and mother are all essentially the same:

"What advice would you give yourself as girl? What advice would you give yourself now? What advice do you wish other people had given you as a girl?"

Adorably condescending!

The audience, mainly female—go figure—responded with the obedient clinking, and subsequent sinking, of glasses that reverberated through Joe’s Pub at the Public Theater. And vagina was indeed the theme of the evening at These Girls, Glamour’s night of monologues by young ladies they’ve deemed the new generation of female voices.

It quickly became apparent that for all involved (Olivia Wilde, Leandra Medine, Rashida Jones, Zosia Mamet, Aubrey Plaza and Lauren Miller), this was a chance to have a real heart-to-heart—you know, girl talk—so far from their usual introverted selves.

“Tonight, these girls can be who they uniquely are fan-fucking-tastic,” exclaimed Gloria Steinem.

It was refreshing, we suppose, though The Observer did feel a tinge of sympathy for the few men in the audience. 

“I’ve had my fair share of interesting menstrual cycles,” read Ari Graynor, whose reading of Leandra Medine’s monologue was largely, and explicitly, preoccupied with periods (of the menstrual kind, we figure the grammar was spot on).

One in particular, nearly cost Ms Medine her place at college. The fact that Ms Medine did not perform the monologue herself suggested just how appropriate the title, Over Sharing is Underrated, was.

The guys shuffled awkwardly in their seats.

“Guys are raging against the independent woman machine,” read actress and Harvard graduate Rashida Jones, the next act to grab the men by the balls. Cue the high pitched whooping from the females in the audience.

There were more gender-neutral monologues, however. Actress and comedienne Aubrey Plaza recalled how she had spent her life running in front of the great wave of the establishment in A Million Life Opportunities, Zero Job Opportunities. She spoke about her inability to hold down a job when she was younger due to her only applying to the ones that sounded “funny,” like being the judge of a dog contest. She’d never owned a dog in her life.

Lauren Miller, wife of Seth Rogen, recalled entries from her teenage diary—a diary of self-loathing—in Don’t Talk Down to Me, I’m on My Way Up.

“I’m fat and ugly and have pimples—I will never be happy,” she read, before an entry admitting she wanted to move to L.A. and marry a movie star. Success!

We are a little less hopeful for Olivia Wilde, who, in “The Fabulous Olivialand,” proclaimed that everyone will stay married for only seven happy years, at which time his or her children will be ferried off to boarding school. After Ms Wilde briefly touched on her marriage, and recent divorce, from Tao Ruspoli (they married at the tender age of nineteen on a school bus), we began to understand her logic that love is better kept short and sweet.

But such is life and Ms. Wilde gushed over her new beau, funnyman Jason Sudeikis, who was in the audience.

“Seven years is too short,” Ms. Wilde decided.

Garfunkel and Oates, the mismatched duo, entertained us between monologues with their hysterical take on dating, before Alexa Chung appeared on the decks as Amy Poehler shouted “Vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina!” and the audience downed their drinks once and for all.

Julia Louis-Dreyfus (Getty Images)

The Emmys, television's slightly-less-glitzy answer to the Oscars, are this Sunday, and we have some relatively uneducated guesses as to which of the nominees will bring home an oddly spiky statuette.

Best Actress in a Comedy nominees

Zooey Deschanel, New Girl

Lena Dunham, Girls 

Edie Falco, Nurse Jackie

Tina Fey, 30 Rock

Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Veep

Melissa McCarthy, Mike & Molly

Amy Poehler, Parks and Recreation

This overstuffed category--seven nominees!--excluded two of last year's nominees as well as the acclaimed and Golden Globe-winning Laura Dern performance on Enlightened, so each person here has a passionate base of support. Even so, it's not hard to believe that Edie Falco and Tina Fey have already been rewarded amply, and Melissa McCarthy's moment of big-screen fame after Bridesmaids contributed more to her win last year than any great love for Mike & Molly. That leaves four! Zooey Deschanel's New Girl performance seems too controversial to gain broad support here, while Lena Dunham will get her reward elsewhere, in the writing category. Amy Poehler's Parks and Recreation simply doesn't seem as popular among Emmy voters--it failed to get a Best Comedy nomination--and Julia Louis-Dreyfus has won twice, for two different series. They like her any way they can get her, and she'll win for being the star of a buzz-y, popular show.

Best Actor in a Comedy nominees

Alec Baldwin, 30 Rock

Louis C.K., Louie

Don Cheadle, House of Lies

Jon Cryer, Two and a Half Men

Larry David, Curb Your Enthusiasm

Jim Parsons, The Big Bang Theory

• 30 Rock
• The Big Bang Theory
• Curb Your Enthusiasm
• Louie
• New Girl
• Modern Family

Sorry, guys: Girls skews a little young for this crowd. All of the shows on this list are essentially perma-nominees at this point, but for Louie, which is so well-regarded among the establishment that its nomination seems likely, and New Girl, which is youngish but is sort-of, kind-of an actual hit on broadcast TV (unlike possible nominees like Parks and Recreation).

Best Drama

• Breaking Bad
• Downton Abbey
• Game of Thrones
• The Good Wife
• Homeland
• Mad Men

The Good Wife sneaks in just so broadcast TV is represented somehow; the rest are the five TV shows (yes, Downton is a series now, not a miniseries) that combined critical acclaim with your co-workers asking if you were caught up yet. (Poor, not-quite-loved Boardwalk Empire.)

Best Actress, Comedy

• Laura Dern, Enlightened
• Zooey Deschanel, New Girl
• Lena Dunham, Girls
• Tina Fey, 30 Rock
• Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Veep
• Amy Poehler, Parks and Recreation

We stand by our prediction!

Best Actor, Comedy

• Alec Baldwin, 30 Rock
• Louis C.K., Louie
• Jon Cryer, Two and a Half Men
• Larry David, Curb Your Enthusiasm
• Johnny Galecki, The Big Bang Theory
• Jim Parsons, The Big Bang Theory

Now that perpetual bridesmaid Steve Carell is no longer on TV, there's a spot open, and perhaps it'll go to the guy who helped keep Two and a Half Men on the air, if in attenuated form. Mr. Cryer's already won an Emmy as a supporting actor, anyhow.

Best Actress, Drama

• Claire Danes, Homeland
• Mariska Hargitay, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit
• Julianna Margulies, The Good Wife
• Elizabeth McGovern, Downton Abbey
• Elisabeth Moss, Mad Men
• Jessica Paré, Mad Men

Lots of turnover in this category! But presumably Ms. Hargitay will remain, constant, impassive, immovable.
Best Actor, Drama

• Steve Buscemi, Boardwalk Empire
• Bryan Cranston, Breaking Bad
• Kelsey Grammer, Boss
• Hugh Laurie, House
• Damian Lewis, Homeland
• Jon Hamm, Mad Men

With the exception of Hugh Laurie (whose show just ended), this is a party of all the ill-behaved men of cable TV.

Lena Dunham (Getty Images)

The Emmy nominations will be announced July 19, and we're already wondering who will end up nominated; in particular, the question of New York media darling Lena Dunham weighs upon us. Ms. Dunham, creator of HBO's Girls, could get anywhere between zero and four nominations  as creator, writer, director, and star of the show (she could get even more if multiple episodes are nominated for their directing and writing, which seems like a long shot). But is her acting Emmyish enough to stand up to a crowded category? Here are the six actresses whom we think will land in the winners' circle:

Amy Poehler, Parks and Recreation: Ms. Poehler's little-watched NBC sitcom inspires slavish devotion among its fans, and Ms. Poehler is the most important element of a talented ensemble. She's like Ms. Dunham, but more establishment.

Tina Fey, 30 Rock: She's the creator, writer, and star of an aggressively outré comedy--that's been honored consistently through its now six-season run. She's like Ms. Dunham, but way more venerable.

Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Veep: She's the center of a well-regarded and often profane HBO comedy--and the past recipient of two Emmys, for Seinfeld and The New Adventures of Old Christine. She's like Ms. Dunham with a better pedigree.

Laura Dern, Enlightened: Though not widely-watched, Ms. Dern's Enlightened pushed the boundaries even of what HBO was capable of doing with the medium; her show was tragic and comic at once, and her performance transcended embarrassment to a sort of empathetic brilliance. She's like Ms. Dunham, but middle-aged-people hip and not young-people hip.

Zooey Deschanel, New Girl: The show set off a firestorm of criticism in the media for Ms. Deschanel's persona before it even aired--the question of "how should a girl on TV be?" was weirdly central to the discourse around this pretty unassuming actress. She's like Ms. Dunham, but somehow a little less controversial? (Everyone seems to have gotten over it.)

Lena Dunham, Girls. Given how central Ms. Dunham has been to the discourse of the latter half of the TV season, we have to assume she'll get in here. Or maybe we're just overthinking it!

Last night, at what is widely hyped as the best night in New York fashion, the attendees of the annual gala benefit at the Metropolitan Museum of Art's Costume Institute did not disappoint. Patterns, we saw a few: a lot of black, a lot of neon, a lot of feathers, and a lot of sheer. And Beyonce's dress? We still don't know what to think. See our picks for best and most bewildering are in this slideshow, and read our rundown from the red carpet here.

A severe cross-costal storm system (apparently of Los Angelino origin) bore down upon the Metropolitan Museum of Art this week. The tempest, however, was not unforeseen. Squalls have been detected all week, as Hollywood winds have breathed flash-bulbous air over the city. Finally, at prime cocktail hour Monday, the heavens burst. Instead of rain, legions of celebrities precipitously poured forth.  Beneath an ivory tent, reporters and photographers lined the Met’s red-carpeted steps. As if embarrassed by the necessary unpleasantness of media, the museum set up a imitation privet hedge bordering the stairs. Paparazzi (who were required to appear in black tie) leaned over the waist-high foliage like prying neighbors, frantically snapping their shots.

Separated by the width of the staircase into north and south factions, broader civil (and uncivil) fissures soon emerged amongst the body of reporters. On the north side, gussied representatives from glossies and dailies bickered for elbowroom. A late-coming society blogger was boxed out (with half-hearted contrition, ceremoniously expressed), while one reporter complained about quote stealing from the previous year’s fête. Things were quieter on the southern front, although the group was largely ignored by politicking PR representatives hoping for viral pick-up.

And then, before the squabbling was resolved, the floodgates opened. Anna Wintour and daughter Bee Shaffer were among the first to arrive, criss-crossing the red staircase for the cameramen. We took a moment to speak to Ms. Shaffer as her mother placated a clamoring cable news network. Wearing a blue-lace Erdem gown with a manageable train, Ms. Shaffer claimed to be worlds away from her typical attire. “I live in, like, denim shorts and plaid shirts. It’s awful! I live in L.A, no one dresses up there,” she informed us. Asked to identify her harshest fashion critic, Ms. Shaffer pointed behind her shoulder toward her fur-clad maman. “She’s fantastic,” Ms. Shaffer was quick to add.

Julie Macklowe, arm in arm with designer Chris Benz, was soon circulating amongst the reporters (both Northern and Southern) sharing the details of her newly pink coiffure. “I dyed it in my apartment last night, in my bathroom,” she shared excitedly. “Pink hair does fade, but it looks beautiful when it fades. It lasts for about a month. I sort of wish it would last forever.” Asked what she though of Vogue’s new initiative to hire healthy, of-age models, Ms Macklowe smiled. “I love that. We can all eat a little more, right?”

Unlike some of the harlequin smoky-eyed ladies trouping up the red carpet, Stephanie Winston Wolkoff appeared fresh-faced and organically stunning. Gathering the skirts of her strapless Vera Wang gown, she offered a slightly different perspective concerning the fashion Bible’s announced measures. “I think Vogue taking their stance on that issue is an incredible thing. I think that fundamentally our industry needs to support more of the, you now, muscular, shapely, beautiful women of the world.” she told The Observer. While she has fully emerged from beneath the wing of Vogue’s chieftess, Ms. Winston Wolkoff still regards her former boss as the highest fashion authority. “I respect Anna the most,” she said before waltzing inside.

Wendi Deng Murdoch agreed, also naming Ms. Wintour as her couture sage. “She dresses me sometimes! I always get advice from her,” Ms. Deng told us. Soon we were chatting with Ms. Deng about the Taiwanese designer responsible for her bejeweled drop earrings and the virtues of Prada ready-to-wear. “I love Prada because her dresses are so interesting and edgy,” she said. “I wear it for every day.”

While mostly serving as crutches for their gown-hobbled dates, some gentlemen also did their best to stand out. Robert Kraft showed us his diamond, football-shaped cufflinks. “The players gave that to me after our third Super Bowl win,” he bragged. Asked who he looks to for fashion inspiration, Mr. Kraft did not hesitate. “Tom Brady,” he replied.

The museum’s front stairs proved particularly difficult for many of the female guests, whose ambitious gowns stunted varsity struts, allowing no more than a totter. Renée Zellweger looked more like (a slender) Bridget Jones as she maladroitly attempted to ascend the daunting staircase in her black Pucci Gown. Despite the help of an aide, Ms. Zellwegger was only able to take half-steps, and essayed to mask her limited range of motion with repeated poses for photographers who were more interested in Florence Welch.

“Amy! Amy!” a young reporter desperately shouted as Amy Poehler passed. “I’m sorry! I can’t move!” the actress replied, tangled in the feathered train of her Fotini gown. At least two nameless guests tripped on overzealous hems, but like figure skaters, immediately resumed their routine, red-faced with the knowledge of a duly-docked score. Andre Leon Talley struggled toward the entrance, at one point grasping in vain at the leafy periphery. “I’m exhaaaauuuusted!” he proclaimed, finally finding the front door. He then spent several seconds pressing his face against the cool marble of the MET’s foyer, much to the envy, we imagine, of equally breathless belles unwilling to smudge their rouged cheeks.

A particularly gusty crew of personalities soon flooded the carpet, as photographers barked thunderously for their attention. Kanye! Justin Timberlake! Jessica Biel! Tim Tebow! Scarlett Johansson! Tom Brady and Gisele! The Jonas Brothers! Claire Danes! Mick Jagger! Mayor Bloomberg! The comically stacked brigade paraded past the gauntlet of outstretched hands clutching live recorders, past the unplaceable voices yelling arbitrary questions and, finally, through the doorway toward the civilized party within.

And then there was Marc Jacobs. Wearing just white boxer shorts and a sheer-lace dress, we asked the designer about his outfit. “It's just a black lace dress,” he said sounding bored. The irony was, apparently, unintentional. We asked Mr. Jacobs when he last donned a particularly unsightly ensemble to an event. “I don’t think there’s such a thing as a fashion faux pas. As long as you’re happy and you do you. I mean fashion’s about self-expression, and if you express yourself honestly,there is no faux pas.” After citing himself as his harshest fashion critic, the near-naked emperor sauntered up the stairs, irreverently at home.