Going to the suburbs.

We all knew this moment would come—after all, what was conservative View co-host Elisabeth Hasselbeck doing on the Upper West Side in the first place? Now she and ex-NFL-er husband Tim Hasselbeck have finally offloaded their four-bedroom condo at Ariel West, Gary Barnett's glassy tower at 245 West 99th Street.

Sure, the couple took a loss on the place. They paid $3.3 million for the condo in 2008 and only got $3.1 million in this sale, city records show. But at least they got out! The couple is moving to Greenwich, Conn. with their three children, where they can count on a backyard, a three-story house and at least a few neighbors who have similar political leanings.

The living room. Nice, but it's no mansion in Greenwich.

And it looks like the Hasselbecks were really desperate to go. They only asked $3.3 million for the 2,300-square-foot condo, listed with Brown Harris Stevens brokers Lisa Lippman and Scott Moore, and rather than holding out for the ask, they sold after only three months.

The couple will be moving into a sprawling suburban mansion that they bought for $4 million, according to The Daily Mail. When the apartment hit the market in February a rep for the Hasselbecks told TMZ "It's time for a backyard! Tim and Elisabeth have decided to trade in city living for the suburbs."

The new owner, who is listed on the deed as Mdbn Owner LLC, will enjoy a nice view from the 16th-floor pad, a formal foyer with a powder room and full bath, 10-foot ceilings and tony building amenities like a 52-foot indoor pool and a billiards table with a grand piano.

kvelsey@observer.com

Can you say '$5.285 million?'

Can your tot say “Sold” en Espagnol? Dora the Explorer co-creator Eric Weiner and wife, playwright Cherie Vogelstein, have sold their apartment at 245 West 99th Street in the Extell-developed Ariel West condo building.

Perhaps Mr. Weiner thought up ideas for the infernal Spanish-speaking preschooler while watching TV in his giant 626-square-foot living/diving room space. Or maybe, pondering the state of children’s programming, he created plots for the torturous tot while staring at the cityscape from one of his many ventanas. The view, according to Brown Harris Stevens brokers Lisa Lippman and Scott Moore, is one of the apartment’s main draws. So much so as to warrant an enthusiastic exclamation in the property listing: “Whether sunny or overcast, the helicopter-like views from this apartment are endless and AMAZING!,” the brokers write.

City records show a Matthew Rosen purchased the four-bedroom, 3.5-bath apartment for $5.285 million. Aside from the apartment’s walk-in closets, laundry room and oak floors, Mr. Rosen can watch the sun over the Hudson as he enjoys a nice hot ducha (that’s Spanish for shower) in the windowed master bath.

Hopefully, Mr. Rosen isn’t a smoker or is willing to kick the habit, however, because the elite Upper West Side building put the kibosh on lighting up last May, according to The New York Times.

City records show that Mr. Vogelstein and Ms. Weiner purchased the condo in 2008 for $4.475 million. The deed for the most recent sale shows that the couple has not ventured far from their former stomping grounds, listing the Laureate at 2150 Broadway as their current address.

eknutsen@observer.com

Back in February, it looked like smoking in your apartment might become harder, too. And now it has spread to the closest thing New Yorkers come to a white-picket home, the condominium. According to The Times, the Ariel West tower, which opened a few years ago, overwhelmingly voted to ban butts in its units.

"Even though people bought into this building thinking they could smoke," said Gideon Stein, the president of the condo board at Ariel West, "people do not have a constitutional right to smoke."

That said, the three-year-old building is not about to become a police state. Enforcement will be complaint-driven, and no one will be knocking on doors or sniffing out smokers. Smoking could, however, quickly become an extremely expensive habit, since the first complaint will draw a $150 fine, and the fine for each succeeding complaint will increase by $150.

And you thought the cigarette taxes were harsh.

mchaban [at] observer.com | @mc_nyo

"Condo Market Takes a Dip,"New York, May 22, 2006 Issue.

"Everybody Into the Pool," New York Times, May 14, 2006.

Now that the "condo pools" trend have been taken care of, publicists need to send out the "hot Hamptons rentals" pitches immediately.

- Michael Calderone