"Proof" (Imgur)

Arnold Schwarzenegger, apropos of nothing except his new film The Last Stand co-starring Johnny Knoxville (in theaters Friday!), showed up on Reddit's IAmA (Ask Me Anything) subforum today to answer questions in beautiful cursive handwriting on his iPad, which he then uploaded onto the site. Adorable!

Let's look at some of the better responses.

"How has the shift back to Hollywood from the Governor's office been?"

"My daughter Chloe who is 9 is a big fan of yours. She would like to ask which role is more fun to prepare for action or comedic roles?"

"What is the best piece of advice you've ever recieved in your life?"


"Arnold, you've lived three lives in one. You were the reason I started working out when I was a kid, you're an inspiration to all. A bodybuilder, actor then Governor. Which has been the most challenging role in your life?"

And the question on everyone's mind: "Will you be making Twins 2?"

This bonus question wasn't answered in cursive, but it still bears repeating: When asked what he most regretted, Mr. Schwarzenegger responded:

I most regret not doing The Rock. I love the movie, and it turned out well. When it was offered to me there was only an 80 page script with a lot of handwriting and scribbles and it didn't seem fully baked. But they obviously did a fantastic job.

But who would he have played? Nic Cage? Sean Connery? We don't think he'd have been believable as a  government chemist.

Douglas.

Is there anything more beautiful than feeling the cool air of fall start to kick back up? Then again, is there anything more depressing than coming to realize in the very same moment that summer has nearly passed? Sure, we’ve spent these waning days of late July and early August complaining about the heat, but who ever wants to contemplate seasonal change? What did we really do with our summer, after all?

Well, for starters, we were introduced to a few new people making a name for themselves in London. The Games of the XXX Olympiad, as they are officially known, brought us, among others, Gabby Douglas, that high-flying 16-year-old who managed to defy gravity and, perhaps more impressively, take our minds off the swimmers for a moment. She won’t be going anywhere soon—as long as we’re eating our Corn Flakes. But it does appear that Bob Costas needed a time-out. Why else would NBC leave him locked all alone in a room, while
everyone else on the NBC team was out on the town?

There was plenty happening stateside as well. It seems that when certain people say “I’ll be back,” they mean it—like the Terminator himself, who has reinvented his career once more. The former governor is now Professor Arnold Schwarzenegger, of the University of Southern California. There he’ll sit on the board of advisors at the Schwarzenegger Institute for State and Global Policy. He’ll also be the Governor Downey Professor of State and Global Policy at his shiny new think tank. Things are looking on the up for the body-builder-turned-actor-turned-politico-turned-tabloid-fodder. He might have been able to resurrect his career, but let’s face it, Total Recall is past saving after Colin Farrell’s clunker of a remake left us in desperate search for our own memory-alteration apparatus.

Speaking of Hollywoodland, there was a whole lotta hubbub when Twilight stars Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart—long rumored to be a couple—were officially deemed an item through news of their very publicized breakup, after Ms. Stewart was caught lip-locking with her married Snow White and the Huntsman director, Rupert Sanders. Though the “trampire”—as she was dubbed by Will Ferrell—seems to be on her way out of the public’s fair graces, we still have Natalie Portman, whose “official” wedding to Benjamin Millepied, with whom she is raising a son, Aleph, was perfect. The ceremony was Jewish and vegan, which takes care of all those pesky kosher issues.

On the smaller screen, Mariah Carey will be joining American Idol to replace Steven Tyler—and there is a slight possibility that Nick Jonas may join the panel as well. Sharon Osbourne is leaving America’s Got Talent, while her son, Jack Osbourne, was dropped from the Dick Wolf reality show contest about being in the military, Stars Earn Stripes. And finally, we were reminded that a Housewife by any other name is still a Housewife, after the big season shake-up left us with a bunch of new women and a bunch of the same drama. Ramona Singer versus Heather Thompson? Déjà vu, anyone?

But what did we learn this summer? That we haven’t learned anything at all.

This guy knows what time it is!

Used to the more snug confines of downtown boîtes, The Observer approached the hulking Park Avenue Armory with trepidation last Wednesday.

We were there for what turned out to be a very manly party celebrating the birthday of a watch: the Audemars Piguet Royal Oak (starting price $10,500) was 40 years old, and some real guys were there to make sure the timepiece did not feel slighted on the momentous occasion.

Now, the nature of time is a subject we contemplate often—particularly as the sun creeps up over the ragged eastern edge of the city’s skyline—but never have we been confronted with it quite so literally.

Upon entry, we noticed that everyone, truly everyone, was wearing a conspicuous timepiece. And while they weren’t actually looking at the time, the crowd gawked at their watches often enough to give the impression of a room full of Mad Hatters: Were we late, late for the very important next party?

But no, it was soon clear that this was the place.

We first ran across the Cheshire grinning ex-pro running back Tiki Barber, whose gleaming pate caught our eye. With his blonde-bombshell companion, Traci Johnson, in tow, he smiled through the crowd, an umpteen-thousand-dollar hunk of Swiss machinery toggled to his wrist.

We asked the retiree about the recent NFL scandal in which players for the New Orleans Saints were offered bonuses for injuring opposing players.

“Tiki, do you reckon you could afford that watch with some of the bounties that used to be placed on your head?” we asked.

“Oh, man, I should certainly hope so,” he answered gamely.

We spied über-producer and Alicia Keys soulmate Swizz Beatz, wearing what we assumed was a minor Transformers character on his wrist.

What had he been up to? we asked.

“I’ve been up to some fun stuff lately man,” came the response.

Sounds fun lately, Mr. Beatz, really.

(Meanwhile, hockey player, ex-Vogue intern and LGBT activist Sean Avery, whom we later saw inside, slipped past us in much the same stealthy way he slipped out of the NHL.)

Making a lap of the room, we felt a strange force, a kind of glowing magnetism of masculinity pulling us ever closer to some as-yet-unknown source—until we found ourselves face to face with the Caucasian column of dude that is Tom Brady. As we shook his massive mitt, we could nearly hear the collective Sméagol of every postpubescent woman in America whispering in our ear, “My precious!”

“Look at you all dressed up,” he remarked. “Who said press shouldn’t look dapper at these things?”

We didn’t know who had said that.

What of the bounties on his handsome head? we asked the three-time Super Bowl champion.

“Look, it’s a bummer to think of anyone purposely trying to put anyone else in a wheelchair,” he said.

We nodded in agreement, as we gazed into his Tahitian blue eyes.

“These club bounties have been getting a lot of press lately—which is good, to expose them for what they are—but if you’re asking if you could buy a five-figure watch with some of the bounties placed on my head, "I’d like to think so,” he said with a seven-figure smile.

Struggling to escape Mr. Brady’s gravitational pull, we had barely enough time to dive out of the way as the most famous living Austrian barreled down the red carpet: Arnold Schwarzenegger had arrived.

Patrick McMullan, the Shetland sheepdog of party photographers, immediately began plying his trade and managed to corral the Governator into a pose.

Soon enough, Mr. Schwarzenegger spied Mr. Beatz, and implored him for some face time.

“Swizz, get ova heeuh!” he commanded. “I vant to see vhat vatch you are vearing!”

Mr. Beatz obliged.

The Meat from Mitteleuropa then meandered over to Mr. Brady, whom he congratulated on his new dwelling, the proud new owner of a modest 22,000-square-foot Brentwood bungalow, directly across from Mr. Olympia’s hideaway.

“Nice house,” offered Mr. Schwarzenegger, in the understated, nuanced parlance for which he has become known.

The party spilled over into the main room, where cocktails were doled out and floor-length evening dresses shuffled about the floor. On hand were two horologists, laboring away in a miniature Audemars workshop. Next to a reflecting pool, we contemplated a 60-foot-tall morphing projection of Michelangelo’s statue of David. (More manhood!)

Soon enough, president and CEO of Audemars North America François-Henry Bennahmias took the stage. All we heard was, “To break the rules, first you must master them,” before we began checking our own watch.

“And to drink the wine, first you must pour it,” remarked one of our tablemates, seemingly more interested in Dionysian pleasures.

Another fellow reveler was inordinately taken with the furniture. “The last time I was at a table this long, it was at a wedding in Versailles. I shit you not,” remarked the private-equity looking guy.

Fascinated, we turned away; Mr. Schwarzenegger was taking the stage.

In something of an odd reverie, he brought The Observer’s mind back, once again, to matters temporal.

Addressing the topic of 1972, the year of the Royal Oak watch’s origin, he strayed into familial matters—to our surprise, considering the news of late.

“I’m a little bit concerned when you talk about celebrating 1972. My in-law [Sargent] Shriver lost to Agnew. Watergate was a mess,” he remarked.

“But, oh, yes, that’s right,” he quickly added. “I won my 10th Mr. Olympia title.”

As the aging beefcake finished up, dessert was served. We indulged in the chocolate delight, wondering if Tom Brady was enjoying it as much as we were.
editorial@observer.com

Mike McCoy (left) and Scott Waugh, co-directors of "Act of Valor" (Getty Images)

One ad stuck out during this year’s Super Bowl broadcast, for its message of patriotism, shared sacrifice and faith in American exceptionalism—and it wasn’t Clint Eastwood’s Chrysler spot.

The spot began with a pregnant woman, framed by a playpen and on the phone, asking an unseen person to “Be safe.” A man on what appears to be an aircraft carrier replied, “You know I will.”

It was a military recruitment commercial.

The legend “On February 24th" appears onscreen, as Eminem’s “Not Afraid” scores footage of enlisted men skydiving, deep-sea diving, and shooting in a desert.  “We all have something worth fighting for,” intones a narrator as a man kisses a woman while a towheaded child rests on his shoulder and the legend “FAMILY” appears onscreen. More footage—a fighter dropping through a glass ceiling, a military funeral, a bomb exploding, many a handshake—is intercut with legends reading “HONOR,” “FREEDOM,” and “A MOTION PICTURE EVENT.”

Wait, it was a feature film trailer.

The final legend in the ad for the upcoming film Act of Valor reads “STARRING ACTIVE DUTY NAVY SEALS,” the ultimate vérité touch in a trailer that blends the glossiness of movie production with the studious realness of war in exactly the fashion of the old “Army of One” ads.

“It was a really high-profile place to tell our story,” said Terry Curtin, President of Theatrical Marketing at the film’s distributor Relativity Media, of the Super Bowl ad buy. (Act of Valor was featured in four ads on Super Bowl Sunday, including one during the game.) “We have a film that we know—while it has no stars—the experience of seeing this film is a big, broad, satisfying experience. We wanted to link that up. It means something when you’re at the Super Bowl.”

Act of Valor, in all its particulars, is perfectly congruent with the Super Bowl—it is a film of Big Ideas about masculinity and brotherhood, in which the military seems as elite and as fun as the Giants offensive line. What it means to be a man is pondered at length. The SEALs, essentially playing themselves, refer to their sort as “damn few.” One character says, in an irony-free voiceover, that his father read “Churchill, Faulkner, and books about Tecumseh”; another chews a toothpick while surfing. Men!

The film’s four-year production process means that it was undertaken at a time when the military was still looking to recruit new soldiers—and the film was intended to be a part of that process. The San Francisco Chronicle, in 2011, described the process by which a Navy SEAL was tasked that project: Duncan Smith, who had been involved in television production in his extra-military life, “conceived of a feature film that would more deeply convey the reality of SEAL life.” Military.com describes the film as “the end result of a recruiting initiative.” Capt. Smith solicited proposals from various studios, and the Bandito Brothers—a collective that had previously produced commercials and sports documentaries—won out. (Relativity Media acquired the film once it had been completed.)

At the film’s premiere on the U.S.S. Intrepid, Capt. Smith told The Observer, “Back when this project began, we had to grow by 500 SEALs. Well, no one gets talked into being a SEAL. You don’t get recruited into it. You have to be aware of the opportunity. And certain young men will [see the film and] say, ‘Hey, that’s for me. I’m going to try that. I think I’ve got what it takes.”

It turns out that Act of Valor, which opens tomorrow, is both a military recruitment tool and a feature film.

Casting active-duty SEALS bridged the gap between the two. Speaking of the eight in the film—who are not credited under their full names and whose participation has raised some hackles in the military community—Capt. Smith said: “All these men said no when first asked to do this. Everybody who’s in this film is a combat operator. The guys who are in this movie said, ‘I’m not part of being this movie. I’m part of being in a field platoon.’ So we went to them a second and third time.”

The Navy, per Capt. Smith, also exerted pressure on the men, whom Capt. Smith had selected on the basis of their combat records and unique skills. Not merely were the SEALs not paid for their filming time, but their work in Act of Valor was set up so as not to interfere with their training. What you see onscreen are what co-director Mike “Mouse” McCoy calls “augmented training evolutions.”

The film comes out at an interesting time for the SEAL program: in the aftermath of Osama bin Laden’s death, the profile of the Navy’s special ops force has never been higher. Tina Brown’s nose for buzz landed the SEALs on the most recent Newsweek cover; the accompanying story alleges that the SEALs serve as a sort of secret global enforcement squad for President Obama. No less a light than Tom Hanks is to star in a film depicting the SEAL rescue of the Maersk Alabama container ship. And after the Presidential election, Kathryn Bigelow is to release her Seal Team Six drama, Kill Bin Laden, a film that Rep. Peter King has already denounced on his suspicion of classified leaks from the Obama Administration to the director of The Hurt Locker.

While the coastal cultural elites have been tuning into Showtime’s Homeland—a film that equates the war on terror with its warrior protagonist’s quite literal madness—and the heartland has been saluting the sacrifice of Lifetime’s Army Wives, no films have depicted the military and managed to make money. Even a film as critically beloved as The Hurt Locker made only $17 million in America, and similarly dour films (Jarhead, Lions for Lambs, In the Valley of Elah) bombed hard.

It is either ironic or completely expected that a film intended to make Americans rally round the flag—and possibly carry that flag down to their local recruiting office—will likely be the one that draws audiences in droves, making the SEALs the cinematic equivalent of John Wayne’s Green Berets or Kiefer Sutherland’s 24 superspy.

The film’s two directors seemed keen on pointing out that the film would have nothing in it to trouble Rep. King. “The film has no politics in it and it’s not a war movie,” said Mr. McCoy at a recent interview. “It does not [depict] a conflict on foreign soil—or anything around a conflict on foreign soil. It’s just about protecting the homeland. Men risking their lives to protect the homeland.

Mr. McCoy and his co-director and partner in Bandito Brothers, Scott Waugh, both began their on-set careers as stuntmen—and neither have any connection to the military. “Both of us did not serve, and I myself feel that’s unfortunate. I wish I did,” said Mr. Waugh, who was a film major at U.C. Santa Barbara until he overheard professors discussing his student films. In response to their readings of the themes he’d intended: “I was like, ‘No, I didn’t! I was there, idiot!”

Those professors would find little ambiguity in Act of Valor—a film whose broad themes of American patriotism and the bravery of the U.S. military are cut with propulsive action and violence (including a staggering number of kill-shots). Said Mr. Waugh, who wore a black motorcycle jacket to our meeting: “We have a mantra: ‘Heartfelt, human stories with immersive action.’ That’s our mantra.”

The pair share a make-it-work philosophy reminiscent of the U.S. military, or of the Spartan one: amidst filming real training sequences, the directors were put on protracted hold by the SEALs’ real-life missions. Professional actor Jason Cottle, who plays a villain in the film, told The Observer: “I would just get a call, and [the directors would] say, ‘You’re going on a plane in a week—you’re going to the Ukraine!’ They’d fly me in and drop me, and then I’d get a call—‘we’re going to pick you up!’”

They also adopted the pretensions of the military: “Our craft-services table is completely contradictory to any studio film,” said Mr. Waugh. “You get water, bananas and nuts—it fuels your body.” Upon seeing Coca-Colas in the hospitality suite in which we were speaking, Mr. Waugh shouted, half-jokingly, “Who brought these here?!”

Despite their apparent adoption of a military diet, the directors were not granted full creative control: the U.S. military was allowed a scrub to remove information on specific tactics, and filming was contingent on the availability of SEALs and of assets like nuclear subs and aircraft.

We asked the Bandito Brothers directly, though we felt confident of the answer: Is this a propaganda film?

“The film was financed privately,” said Mr. McCoy. Referring to the specific SEALs, he noted: “There’s no agenda here for them overall. They want to show the hazards and the risks of this job. It’s really important to us as filmmakers, and for the SEALs as well, to show the kids, ‘Hey—this is not a video game.’ In a way, it’s responsible messaging.” (The film’s marketing, it’s worth pointing out, has included an extensive partnership with EA Games, the makers of the video game Battlefield 3, whereby fake “dog tags” can be earned by watching the Act of Valor trailer.)

Mr. Waugh noted that, from his perspective, the film could not possibly be a recruitment film. “They’re downsizing the military now. They’re not looking for recruitment.” And he resisted the notion that positive coverage of the SEALs is inherently pro-government: “If you show them in a positive light, it’s propaganda. If you show them in a negative light, it’s acting. That’s so contradictory.”

At the film’s premiere, the SEAL named “Sonny” told The Observer that he wanted Americans to learn from the film that “we’re not just machines. We are human. We have families. There is that brotherhood bond.”

The Bandito Brothers’ bond shall continue, too, their service having been completed. They are involved in Arnold Schwarzenegger’s comeback film, Black Sands. “We’re personally excited to be working with Arnold,” said Mr. Waugh. “He created the genre of action hero, and we would love to be the ones to bring him back.” Quite a next mission.

After his memoir hit bookstores in Britain this morning, Julian Assange accuses his British publisher, Canongate, of "old-fashioned opportunism and duplicity." His American publisher, Knopf, announced the cancellation of his contract yesterday. [The Bookseller]

Here is his full statement. [Wikileaks]

A play-by-play of Mr. Assange's book. [Guardian]

More on that IKEA bookcase: a cautionary tale. [London Review of Books]

What Mick Jagger bought at The Strand's rare book room. [NY Post]

"News crews and paparazzi converged on the Tousignants' quiet Brea neighborhood," says the lawsuit. "They were inundated with phone calls and messages. They were forced to flee their house and stay at another location. Tanner was followed. Their online accounts were hacked into. They were and continue to be the subject of scorn and scrutiny in their own community. Their reputations have been permanently damaged."

The Hangover Part II, True Blood and Mortal Kombat 9, saved Time Warner, Jeff Bewkes told the The New York Times. On Wednesday the company, which owns Warner Brothers, Turner Broadcasting and Time Inc., reported a 10% increase in revenue this quarter, the highest growth since January.

At a party celebrating new Elle publisher Kevin O'Malley, David Carey updated WWD on the most important aspect of the Hearst-Hachette merger: seating arrangements.

“The real estate people are hard at work putting the puzzle together,” Carey said, insisting that floor selection won’t be political, with sexier titles on higher floors. “It may have been in the past when they had a brand new building,” he said. “In this case the floors get based on the least dislocation to the building. Now we’re thinking in terms of the path of least resistance because we don’t want to touch all 44 floors.”

Morgan Spurlock will launch a documentary series available only on Hulu beginning August 17, called "Day in the Life," according to the The Wrap. The show follows famous people like Richard Branson and will.i.am around for the day. Is this how Hulu plans on convincing us to pay for it?

I examined his schedules for a story this week, and found he hasn't been as publicly active as one might expect of a man in his political shoes. The trip to Los Angeles comes when Paterson was scheduled to speak on Long Island at a trade event. One of his staffers described it as "very much a work trip" and provided details of the itinerary.

Paterson flew to L.A. on Thursday, and attended a reception with Schwarzenegger last evening, and today will be sitting on a panel with Quebec Premier Jean Charest as well as other international representatives. Paterson has been talking about reducing greenhouse emissions--he unveiled his 45 by 15 plan during the State of the State Address--but hasn't made much noise recently. He's expected to talk about Regional Greenhouse Gas auctions that New York has been holding.

On a side-note, now that Richard Ravitch is legitimately the lieutenant governor, Paterson can leave the state without having to argue that he is not "effectively absent."

Jerry Brown’s career serves as a four-decade testament to the idea that politics is a means to a means. Every time he gains an office, he almost immediately sets out to parlay it into a new one.

Which is why the prospect of his return (after a 28-year absence) to California’s governorship next year is so fascinating. At 72 years old, he’ll be too old to shoot for a higher office. For the first time in his life, he’ll have to devote himself entirely to the job he was elected to.   

Just consider Brown’s career to date.

At 32 years of age, he won election in 1970 as California’s secretary of state—and promptly set about positioning himself for the governor’s race in 1974, which he won. He then held the governorship for eight years, during which time he thrice sought higher office—the presidency in 1976 and 1980 and a U.S. Senate seat in 1982.

That Senate race was designed to put Brown in position for the 1988 presidential race, but Californians had tired of his restless spirit and chose Republican Pete Wilson over him. Brown then spent the 1980s consorting with Mexican philosophers, studying Buddhism in Japan and working with Mother Teresa in India.

When he returned, he was elected chairman of the California Democratic Party in 1989—a post he abandoned midway through his term to pursue the Senate seat that Alan Cranston was giving up in 1992. Again, Brown figured that a Senate stint would put him in position for another White House bid, but by the summer of 1991, with George H. W. Bush’s post-Gulf War glow scaring off every big-name Democrat, he sensed an opening, quit the Senate race and jumped into the presidential contest.

The ’92 campaign had its moments for Brown—an stunning upset win in the Connecticut primary followed by a two-week one-on-one campaign with Bill Clinton in New York in which Clinton’s fate hung in the balance—but Brown’s crusading anti-establishment message and refusal to yield to Clinton until the very end made him a fringe figure in the national Democratic Party.

So he went back to basics and in 1998 won an office no one else seemed to want, the Oakland mayoralty. He used it to re-establish himself as a credible and relevant public figure, ultimately parlaying it into a victory in the 2006 race for California attorney general. And practically from the moment he took over as A.G., Brown has been positioning himself for the 2010 governor’s race, a wide-open affair with term limits forcing Arnold Schwarzenegger out.

After a decade of political rehab, Brown is sitting pretty. A formidable rival, Los Angeles Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa, has opted out of the ’10 race, and Dianne Feinstein, easily the most popular Democrat in the state, seems less likely to run by the day. That leaves (for now, at least) Brown and Gavin Newsom, the upstart San Francisco mayor who is mainly identified with gay marriage, and a poll released earlier this week put Brown ahead by 20 points, 46 to 26 percent.

It’s possible that Brown’s bid will fail. Newsom has yet to introduce himself to much of the state and he will no doubt play on his youth and energy to try to turn the race into a choice between the future and the past. Plus, Loretta Sanchez, a seven-term Democratic congresswoman from Southern California, is threatening to enter the race—a development that would disproportionately hurt Brown, who has more support among Hispanics than Newsom does.

And even if Brown does secure the nomination, there’s still the general election to worry about. Several potentially attractive Republicans, including former eBay CEO Meg Whitman and moderate former Congressman Tom Campbell, are running, and the Democratic nominee—whether it’s Brown, Newsom or anyone else—won’t have George W. Bush and the Evil Republican Congress to rail against.

Still, of all of the candidates from both parties, Brown’s odds of emerging as California’s next governor are the best.

So if he does win, then what?

The last time Brown was elected governor, in 1974, he set off to run for president just 14 months after being sworn in. He did the same thing again after winning reelection in 1978. For Brown, the main appeal of a major office—the governorship or a Senate seat—has always been the opportunity to run for president that comes with it.

But there will be no more presidential campaigns. Sure, there’s no official maximum age for the presidency, but the public has its limits—and both Bob Dole, at 73 in 1996, and John McCain, 72 years old last year, were brushing up against them when they ran. Brown would be 74 in 2012, which would really be pushing it. Of course, a campaign in ’12 is probably out of the question anyway, with Barack Obama running for reelection, which means Brown would actually be 78 the next time he could run. And that’s just too old to be a serious contender.

That means that, if he’s elected next year, Brown will really have no choice but to focus entirely on the job at hand. And what a job it is: California is so broke that it’s now issuing IOUs. And there may not be much any governor can do about it, with tax hikes requiring a two-thirds vote and interest groups routinely taking advantage of the state’s generous referendum rules to hogtie elected officials. California’s gigantic size and diversity don’t help much, either.

Brown is a curiously compelling figure. When he announced his ’92 presidential campaign, he made reference to both Field of Dreams and Czechoslovakian President Vaclav Havel. He’s always seemed more suited to the campaigning side of politics, where brash talk, bold ideas and constant self-reinvention can all be beneficial. But after nearly 40 years of watching The Jerry Brown Show, we may in 2011 finally get to see the man try, with all his might, to govern.

This comes as Bloomberg and others head to Washington to ask the president for money to help rebuild the nation's infrastructure.

Bloomberg will appear on the show with Ed Rendell and Arnold Schwarzenegger.