James Brolin and Barbra Streisand.

“Mirella Freni and Pavarotti shared the same wet nurse,” former NYC Mayor Rudolph Giuliani said last week at the Eighth Annual Opera News Awards at The Plaza, sharing a bit of opera trivia before giving the Metropolitan Opera Guild’s distinguished achievement award to the supreme Modenese soprano. “Just imagine the Freudian connotations,” hizzoner continued. “Mirella’s mother liked to say, ‘Guess who got all the milk?’”

Triggering uproarious laughter and a few gasps.

The next morning, Shindigger was still giggling at the Waldorf Astoria for the 2013 Matrix Awards, hosted by Joan Rivers, where pioneering women in media and communications such as Kara Swisher, Joanna Coles, HSN’s Mindy Grossman and Bonnie Hammer received Tiffany & Co. medallions from the likes of Barry Diller, Iman and Ryan Seacrest. Another legendary songstress, five-time Tony winner Audra McDonald, was celebrated as well.

“She has the voice of an angel,” Council Speaker Christine Quinn declared as she bestowed a Matrix on Ms. McDonald. Though it was Ms. Rivers who got in the last line—“Dessert was good, but not worth the calories!”—before hobbling off the stage.

All in all, it proved to be as much of a musical week as a comedic week for Shindigger, though, highlighted by The Film Society of Lincoln Center’s 40th anniversary Chaplin Awards Gala, which honored the epic career of Barbra Streisand and featured a mega-star-studded array of delicious surprises.

“Boy am I excited, this is such a treat!” exclaimed our first surprise, Liza Minnelli, after a standing ovation. “When I saw Barbra perform, I went nuts,” she raved. “I said Mama—it’s just unique and was splendid. She had chutzpah! The real deal!”

Grabbing the mic and a nearby director’s chair, Ms. Minnelli winced, “Now I have to sit down. My back is killing me.” And then she performed such Streisand signatures as “What Did I Have That I Don’t Have?” and “Isn’t This Better” from Funny Lady. (Ms. Streisand would quip later that she had forgotten the former was one of her songs.)

Next, former recipients Catherine Deneuve and Michael Douglas graced the stage.

“Michael and I are very pleased to give you congratulations on this well-deserved honor, and happy birthday!” the French siren purred.

“You were a master,” gushed Mr. Douglas. “It has been my joy over the years to watch you as an artist on stage, and it has been equally as meaningful to be your friend.”

One after another, immortal film stars and celebrity performers paid their respects to Empress Barbra, who sat perched with husband James Brolin in box four, first tier, on the right side of Avery Fisher Hall. George Segal, Amy Irving, Kris Kristofferson and Blythe Danner all said a few words, video felicitations came from Robert Redford and Omar Sharif, and there were musical performances by trumpeter Wynton Marsalis (“Hello Dolly”), songwriter Alan Bergman (“The Way We Were”), and a surprise finale by Tony Bennett.

“She asked me why she should do it,” Ben Stiller said drily as he recounted how he convinced the diva to take her role in Meet the Fockers. “Finally, we worked out the creative details, or as she calls it, ‘the money.’”

The funnyman then introduced his Chappaqua neighbor, who just so happens to be the 42nd president of the United States of America.

“I don’t know why, I just never got the nerve to call him up and hang,” Mr. Stiller laughed. “Hey, Bill, wanna come over and order some vegan pizza and play some video games? Watch House of Cards on Netflix?”

President Bill Clinton, taking in the crowd’s awe and rousing applause, played with the wisecrack. “Ben, I accept your offer, and pretty soon House of Cards will be back on,” the former president pledged. “Meanwhile, we can watch a replay of Meet the Fockers and see Barbra give sex advice to old people—like me!”

Awkward laughter filled the hall as the president quickly mentioned his wife, Hillary, and then continued:

“I am very grateful to The Film Society of Lincoln Center for allowing me, on its 40th anniversary, to give the Chaplin Award to my friend. A friend of my family’s and one of the most gifted and big-hearted people I have ever known.”

President Clinton commended Ms. Streisand for her film work, her philanthropic leadership and her many talents.

“When I was president, we had a small list of members of Congress that we called the ‘Just Say Yes List,’” because they were so dogged that you knew you were gonna give in to them sooner of later,” he recalled. “That’s the way Barbra is. In the end, I would say yes.”

And then it was finally time for Ms. Streisand to take the stage.

“My dear Mr. President, thank you for taking the time to be with us here tonight,” she began.

The divine Ms. Streisand spoke about the power of art in trying times and shared numerous anecdotes from her treasured past. “Ever since I can remember, I’ve been called bossy and opinionated,” Ms. Streisand admitted. “Maybe that’s because I am?”

The audience chuckled, and Ms. Streisand raised her voice: “Three cheers for bossy women!” she said.

And through the standing, roaring gala patrons, we swore we saw Mr. Clinton’s wife, in the third row, beaming.

Jon Hamm with a mustache. (YouTube)

— Mindy Kaling was spotted pleading with John Mayer to give his expert opinion on her love life at Koi in the Trump SoHo. We can only speculate that his answer involved calling her genitals racist.

— Jon Hamm plays Aimee Mann's director in her new music video for Labrador:
http://youtu.be/XA1cX-wgMdM

— A bevy of musical greats made a show last night in memorial of Broadway composer Marvin Hamlisch. Barbra Streisand, Liza Minnelli, Aretha Franklin and Itzhak Perlman performed for VIPs including Mike Nichols, Nancy Pelosi, Regis Philbin, Susan Lucci, Sarah Jessica Parker, Alan Cumming, Sheldon Harnick, Mary Rodgers and Paul Shaffer.

— Eva Longoria and Mark Sanchez were spotted holding hands while leaving a romantic dinner at Daniel. You know, if you care about that kind of thing.

— And in chair-related news, Clint Eastwood feels bad about making fun of the president, and calls himself a Libertarian. Also he has no respect for tables.
http://youtu.be/7mIC8Nw7LqI

7:30 p.m. Miss World U.S.A. Lynda Carter will perform: "An Evening with Lynda Carter" in the Allen Room at Frederick P. Rose Hall, Broadway at 60th Street. Tickets range from $45 to $95.

8 p.m.  Fleetwood Mac performs at Nassau Coliseum, 1255 Hempstead Turnpike Road, in Uniondale. Tickets are $46, $76 and $146.

9:30 p.m. Author Jonathan Lethem will introduce Jean-Luc Godard's Band of Outsiders (1964) at the Rubin Museum, 150 West 17th Street. Admission is free with a $7 bar minimum.

10 p.m. Yentl Sing-along is hosted by performer Raven Snook in celebration of Purim, featuring Barbara as a cross-dressing yeshiva boy and Mandy Patinkin "back when he was hot." At 92YTribecca, 200 Hudson Street. Admission is $13, price of admission includes one beer. (Directed by Barbra Streisand)

10 p.m. Kanye West's ''Good Music'' label presents artist Kid Cudi's first mixtape release in collaboration with N.Y. streetwear brand 10. The event will feature music by Bobby Trends and free Louis Vuitton sneaker giveaways all night … also "surprise guest you won't want to miss." At Promenade, 215 West 28th Street. Dress code will be strictly enforced, "time to go shop ping."  RSVP before 12 a.m. for free admission.

11 p.m. The Ohio Party (! Where are you from?) kicks off at Matchless. It's a chance "to come together with people from all over the world and with people from Ohio." At 557 Manhattan Avenue at Driggs in Brooklyn. Admssion is Free.

The Obama campaign rebuffed newly minted political blogger Lindsay Lohan's offer to host "a series of events for younger voters," reportedly saying that she is "not exactly the kind of high-profile star who would be positive for us." [TMZ] 

Socialite and jewelry designer Genevieve Jones is dating Oscar de la Renta's 24-year-old son Moises. [Paper]

Jennifer Lopez threw husband Marc Anthony a surprise "1940's Cuban nightclub themed" birthday party at the Bowery Hotel the same day she finished fifth in the "celebrity women's category" (which apparently exists!) in the Nautica Malibu Triathlon. [People] 

Anne Hathaway's flacks "don't want anyone to know she smokes." Now you know. [NYDN, second item] 

Josh Brolin says "the best time he ever had" with stepmother Barbra Streisand was when she was coming off morphine after a colonoscopy and he could "see her without a few filters." Touching... [P6]

Huckabee now has a strong lead in North Carolina. [Public Policy Polling]

Barack Obama’s lead is widening in Iowa. [Strategic Vision]

Rudy Giuliani and Barack Obama are polling highest among 18-24 year olds [Harvard Institute of Polling]

A poll preview shows Hillary Clinton’s lead is no longer slipping in New Hampshire, and on the Republican side John McCain is gaining. [Political Wire]

Ben has reason to believe that the Clinton campaign may have indeed been polling on celebrities. [Politico]

Barbra Streisand just put a rain cloud over Barack Obama’s parade, offering her endorsement, for what it’s worth, to Hillary Clinton’s presidential campaign. Having donated to Mr. Obama as well as to his fellow Democratic hopeful, John Edwards, in the recent past, Ms. Streisand settled any lingering speculation today. The 65-year-old entertainer—as was just reported on our sister blog, The Politicker—shared her somewhat dramatic sentiments with Ms. Clinton’s campaign, which then made them public.

“Madame President of the United States...it's an extraordinary thought. We truly are in a momentous time, where a woman's potential has no limitations," Ms. Streisand says in the statement. "Hillary Clinton has already proven to a generation of women that there are no limits for success." Considering her allegiance to the Senator’s husband, Bill Clinton, the declaration of support is sure to solidify Ms. Streisand’s F.O.B. status. (As pointed out by the AP, her endorsement comes just one day after Oprah Winfrey put all her—arguably more valuable--chips on Mr. Obama.)

Creating a kind of surreal conversation through press releases, Ms. Clinton’s campaign followed their first release with another. This time it came from the big cheese herself. “Barbra has used her immense talent to be an advocate for truth, justice, and fairness and I deeply appreciate her confidence in my candidacy as we work together to change the direction of our nation," Ms. Clinton says in her statement.

Ms. Clinton’s apparent excitement over Ms. Streisand’s support is interesting, if only because the entertainer has for years been such a controversial figure. While her popularity is unequivocal in many circles, countless outspoken entertainers and media-types have repeatedly shown vitriolic dislike for the star. (They point to, among other things, her supposedly hypocritical stance on energy consumption.) But perhaps most memorably, she was the subject of a ruthless South Park episode called “Mecha-Streisand,” in which the Princess of Tides attempts to become an evil super-villain. Millions laughed, and the episode remains one of South Park’s most popular; it even spawned its own "official" Web site.

September 3, 2006, Lynn Hirschberg, New York Times Magazine:

August 28, 2006, Eduardo Porter and Geraldine Fabrikant, New York Times:

- Alan Van Capelle, executive director of the Empire State Pride Agenda, in Newsweek.

Japan has always lived by the sword. Sure, the Japanese brought us sake, Sony and Subaru, but despite their technology and their menus of raw fish, their cultural and political history are still rooted in the ethical code of bloodshed by the blade. The Last Samurai borrows heavily from the films of Akira Kurosawa in an attempt to explain why, setting the ethos of the noble but outdated samurai against the spiritual voyage of a cynical American soldier disillusioned by the Civil War and guilt-ridden by the Indian campaigns. When we first see Capt. Nathan Algren (Tom Cruise) he's a soulless drunk in 1876 San Francisco, reduced to putting on cheap theatrical shows about the Battle of the Little Bighorn to sell Winchester rifles. On the other side of the planet, another soldier faces shame in the sorrow of changing values. Katsumoto (Ken Watanabe) is the last leader of the ancient tribe of samurai warriors who have dedicated their lives to serving and protecting the time-honored traditions of their country for centuries. Like the Indians of the American West, the samurai now face extinction as telegraph cables and railroad lines threaten the values and codes of the land for which they have lived and died in the name of progress. Seeking escape from the binding traditions of his feudal ancestors, the young emperor, wooed by the selfish counsel of greedy American advisers with their eyes on westernizing the growing Japanese trade market, hires Algren because of his fame and experience wiping out Indian tribes. The object: to turn Japanese peasants into a modern, gun-wielding army big and powerful enough to destroy Katsumoto and his small band of sword-wielding samurai. From his arrival in Yokohama Harbor, through the spectacular scenery of a country unspoiled by time, to his personal encounters with the strange but strong-willed people, Algren is haunted by his new spiritual surroundings. Although he barely survives the first premature battle, he is captured and nursed back to health, out of curiosity (and silent, grudging respect), by the enemy. He's their prisoner and he cannot escape, but while he studies the disciplines of Bushido that teach them strength, compassion, elegance, loyalty and the duty to honor their word and die for their cause, his wounds heal and so does his spirit. In time, Katsumoto becomes a role model, Algren adopts the samurai as his spiritual leaders, falls in love with Katsumoto's sister, the widow of the warrior Algren killed in battle, and in his newly found dedication to perfection of mind and body, sees in the plight of the samurai a parallel to the innocent people he slaughtered in the Indian campaigns. Naturally, there is another massacre coming. The rest of this long and daunting challenge to the human tailbone consists of massive, elaborately staged battle sequences from which there is no earthly reason for Tom Cruise to survive except for the fact that he is the star and somebody has to live in order to describe the end of the traditions and the way of life he has come to love. The human suffering is hard to watch as Algren leads the outnumbered samurai, equipped only with swords and arrows, against the vast, better-equipped Meiji Imperial Army, led by the villainous American officer who once commanded Algren to kill women and children in American trenches (Tony Goldwyn, who seems to have cornered the market in handsome, clean-cut heels). When they charge, the samurai are heroic but doomed, like the Greeks at Thermopylae-or, to better complete the metaphor, Custer at the Little Bighorn.

Every time I attempt to tell friends about this plot, or even a small segment thereof, their eyes glaze over and they nod off in a stupor of profound disinterest. This is unfortunate, because even though The Last Samurai is brutal, exhausting and so not my kind of movie, it is extremely well-made and undeniably engrossing. This is not surprising, since it's the work of two men I greatly admire-director-writer-producer Edward Zwick and his partner, Marshall Herskovitz, the team that created the brilliant, superior, Emmy Award–winning Once and Again , my favorite television series of all time. Most of the work they do is too good for the unwashed masses, but they may have hit on the right formula this time. The appeal of watching Mr. Cruise go through physical hell in costumes that weigh more than he does, plus the obvious comparisons to be drawn between the feudal samurai versus the unsympathetic American aggressors of 19th-century Japan, and the current war in Iraq, could have solid box-office appeal. If nothing else, I have a special admiration for the way everyone re-created the authentic period look and feel of another world without digital effects, computers or animatronics. Personally, I have mixed feelings about the Westernization of Japan and its dramatic effect on world history. The shoguns now run the stock exchange, and today's samurai are on the board of Mitsubishi.

My Gift List

I just polished off the turkey, the Thanksgiving china is still in the dishwasher, and already it's time to do the Christmas shopping. I gave up buying and sending Hallmark cards when the December postage exceeded the garage bill, I no longer schlep dead fir trees down eight floors in the service elevator, and I hate fruitcakes. Still, I was always taught to share my toys, and here are a few suggestions guaranteed to please the people on your holiday list long after the inflammable tinsel and plastic snow are in the refuse bin. If you can afford it, buy the person with whom you are in love or lust a pair of orchestra tickets to see Donna Murphy electrify Broadway in the delicious revival of Wonderful Town . Or, for a small fraction of the price, pick up this season's lavish feel-good coffee-table books about Judy Garland and Audrey Hepburn, two legendary ladies who go on giving long after many people erroneously think they both gave out.

John Fricke, the No. 1 Judy fan who has turned into the No. 1 Judy historian, counters the legions of salacious Garland books written for titillation and profit with Judy Garland: A Portrait in Art and Anecdote (Bulfinch Press, $50), the ultimate celebration of the humor, talent, professionalism and artistry of the greatest performer of the 20th century. The 324 pages of this star-spangled salute to her life and career are divided into five decades, with a candid, heartfelt introduction by Lorna Luft, never-before-seen photographs and artwork that is nothing less than astounding. Foreign movie posters, original 1946 color ads with Al Hirschfeld caricatures of all the MGM stars in Till the Clouds Roll By , stills from deleted musical numbers and recording sessions culled from the studio archives, wardrobe tests, family heirlooms, candid shots of Judy off-guard with Mickey Rooney, Vincente Minnelli, Kay Thompson, the entire population of the Emerald City "and Toto, too"-if you're a Judy fan, there's more magic in these treasures than Dorothy found in Oz. From childhood talent shows to comebacks at the Palace and Carnegie Hall, the many faces, weights, griefs and triumphs of Judy Garland, warts and all, are laced with comments and observations by the people who knew her best and loved her most. This is a book you will pick up and study, one page at a time like sips of brandy, for the rest of your life.

A bit more refined, perhaps, but equally rapturous and revealing is Audrey Hepburn, An Elegant Spirit (Atria Books, $29.95), a compilation of memories by her son, Sean Ferrer. Millions of glamorous photographs through the years have revealed the reasons why she became one of the most cherished and enduring women of her time, but none are more appealing than the shots of Audrey in her unposed leisure, playing with her pets, caressing her two sons, leaping like a gazelle through the landscapes of her favorite country gardens. Here among her Givenchy fashion illustrations, oil paintings and graceful tastes in furniture and flowers, you will find the mischievous imp, clowning with Cary Grant, and the dedicated humanitarian, cradling the starving children of Africa. Sean Hepburn Ferrer started collecting these photos and writing his impressions of the mother he adored on Jan. 21, 1993-the day after she died. Sharing his personal memoirs in a volcano of love and respect now becomes an unforgettable gift to us all.

Too Much, And Too Little

New CD's by Barbra Streisand and Bette Midler, both on the Columbia label, beckon seductively from frosted Yuletide shop windows, but they're artistically below par and musically disappointing. Streisand's The Movie Album is an over-arranged potpourri of syrupy orchestrations and dull selections from such oddball films as Bagdad Café . As usual, she employs the best musicians, and I like what Johnny Mandel does with his own composition, "Emily." But does anyone remember the love theme from The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse ? On song after song, Barbra's control-freak intonation is so unyielding in its demand for vocal perfection that her phrasing sounds frozen and metallic. The voice is in good shape but there's no room for intimacy, and Charlie Chaplin's "Smile" starts to sound exactly like Henry Mancini's "Moon River." No improvisational quality to be found anywhere, no thrilling new freshness of interpretation. Playing it safe, she has stripped these movie songs of every shred of the superior quality that might have set some of them apart from pop-chart pabulum in the first place. Unlike Garland, who was good or bad but always in your lap, there is no sense of discovery, humanity and vulnerability in Streisand. When Judy had a breakdown, she took you with her. Whatever Streisand is feeling, she ain't tellin' nobody but her shrink.

Bette Midler's talent is more open-hearted and in-your-face. She's a popular entertainer with a captivating personality and an infectious sense of humor. But I don't care how much she appeals, her chops are limited, babe. Musically, she is not in the same universe as Rosemary Clooney, and that is not an opinion, it's a fact, with which the divine and very savvy Miss M would probably agree. I love her for calling her new CD, produced by Barry Manilow, Bette Midler Sings the Rosemary Clooney Songbook , but let's get real: Close but no cigar, it's just not in Rosie's league. The up-tempo charts don't swing, the ballads drag behind the beat to the point of no return, and the "Sisters" duet with Linda Ronstadt goes nowhere. Out of the thousands of tunes in Rosie's library of classics, there is too much focus here on the cornball fluff Rosie was contractually forced to record in her fledgling days of 78 and 45 r.p.m. jukebox novelties like "Mambo Italiano," "This Ole House" and "Come on a My House"-campy tunes Rosie always hated. "They pay insurance premiums," she used to moan. Why do second-rate renditions of songs that were never any good in the first place? "Dedicated to the great Rosemary Clooney" are the words stamped on the box cover. Thanks, but this time I'll pass.

But no one is promising anything. Ms. Streisand's penthouse has become known as the apartment that just wouldn't sell. In the many years it's been on the market, Ms. Streisand has had a string of people signing contracts for the place at a wide range of prices, but still has never been able to unload it. The closest she ever came, said a source familiar with the deal, was over a decade ago, when a magazine editor agreed to pay $2.7 million for the place and miraculously made it past the board. But, recalled the broker, Ms. Streisand had not yet purchased another apartment and convinced the editor to cancel the deal.

Since then, however, the co-op board has rejected several potential buyers-most memorably singer Mariah Carey, who offered to pay $8 million for the duplex and the apartment below it in 1999. "I don't know whether they don't like her or what," said one broker. "But after a while, it starts to seem personal."

Brokers also say that, despite the fact that the apartment is 4,100 square feet, has 1,750 square feet of outdoor space and multiple working fireplaces, "it has a lot of things to overcome." One broker who has shown it several times said, "First of all, it's a back apartment, so there is no view. It's also in original condition, and it has a problem with leaks."

Ms. Streisand's apartment has been represented by several brokers over the years, but the listing currently belongs to Carrie Chiang of the Corcoran Group, whose Web site now reflects the apartment's new status as being under contract. The penthouse was last on the market for $4.75 million-quite a drop from the $10 million the place was once asking. If it seems surprising that Ms. Streisand would accept around $4 million, well, it shouldn't. Less than a year ago, it was reported that Ms. Streisand, fed up with the apartment predicament, was considering donating it to charity.

Goldman Guy Next in Line For Ted Ammon's Co-op

For the fourth time since it came on the market in the fall of 2000, slain financier Ted Ammon's apartment at 1125 Fifth Avenue has a buyer.

Sources familiar with the deal say that a Goldman Sachs partner who has been looking for an apartment for several years has agreed to pay $10 million for the four-bedroom co-op.

Brokers say that the previous buyer, Richard Schaps, chief executive of billboard firm Van Wagner Communications-who had also offered $10 million-was recently rejected by the co-op board for "unspecified reasons." Mr. Schaps is the third applicant to be rejected by the board, which Ammon had filed suit against before he was found dead in his Hamptons home last October.

Brokers said that should the board continue to reject applicants, the price tag would only go up, as it's still relatively low for a full-floor, 5,500-square-foot, 10th-floor residence near East 92nd Street.

UPPER WEST SIDE

2109 Broadway (the Ansonia) Three-bed, two-bath, 2,300-square-foot condo. Asking: $1.45 million. Selling: $1.395 million. Charges: $1,320. Taxes: $121. Time on the market: two months.

CHOREOGRAPHER PULLS OFF BIG MOVE Where else should a City Opera choreographer live but at the Ansonia? At least that's what former City Opera soprano Joanna Simon thought when an old colleague called her looking for a new home. And apparently, Ansonia apartments are not that hard to come by-they're just harder to afford. Ms. Simon, now a broker with the Fox Residential Group, took the choreographer to look at a three-bedroom apartment in the fabled building, near 77th Street; it had just been renovated and has huge windows with balconies off them. The choreographer was able to see it all coming together marvelously and forked over the dough.

UPPER EAST SIDE

165 East 72nd Street Three-bed, three-bath, 1,600-square foot co-op. Asking: $1.15 million. Selling: $1.1 million. Maintenance: $2,096; 44 percent tax-deductible. Time on the market: Two months.

SO LONG, NEIGHBOR; HELLO, THREE BEDROOMS If some folks want to ship out to the Hamptons permanently, well, that just leaves more room for the rest of us. Take the couple in their 40's who had grown claustrophobic in their apartment a few floors below this one and found their prayers answered when this place went on the market after the owners fled to the East End. "Everybody who lives here says they wouldn't want to live anywhere else," said Norma Hirsch, a broker at Insignia Douglas Elliman, of the residents of this postwar co-op building on the corner of Third Avenue, which has a gym, a garage and a doorman. But the stroke of luck didn't stop the buyers from negotiating with the newly anti-city sellers; they got $50,000 knocked off of the asking price.

GREENWICH VILLAGE

2 Horatio Street One-bed, one-bath, 800-square-foot co-op. Asking: $435,000. Selling: $438,000. Maintenance: $935.51; 52 percent tax-deductible. Time on the market: three days.

90 NEW YORKERS FOR EVERY ONE-BEDROOM Anthony Miller, a broker at Bellmarc Realty, knew that this quiet one-bedroom apartment with a courtyard exposure near Hudson Street was slightly underpriced when he put it on the market for $435,000 in the beginning of January. But his seller needed a quick sale, and the market had been slow. He figured the low price would speed things up. He had no idea just how much. "There were 90 people at our first open house," he said. "I didn't know whether to cry or be happy or call the police." It got all the more chaotic when the doorman demanded that Mr. Miller personally escort each potential buyer from the lobby. "So back and forth I went … at one point, there were 37 people backed up in the lobby," he said. A successful architect who'd shown up early decided he'd like to buy the place. He thought there might be competition, so when he called that night, he made an offer slightly over the asking price. Turns out he had it figured perfectly: He just got the keys.

PARK SLOPE

53 Montgomery Place Three-bed, two-bath, 1,400-square-foot co-op. Asking: $629,000. Selling: $629,000. Maintenance: $740; 50 percent tax-deductible. Time on the market: one week.

WILLY LOMAN AT THE DOOR! Earlier this year, a couple of successful Manhattan attorneys living in Brooklyn decided to hightail it to sunny California. When they put this three-bedroom apartment dripping with prewar detail (tin ceilings, ornate decorative fireplace, stained-glass windows, etc.) on the market for $629,000, an insurance salesman came knocking at their door. This being one of the nicest blocks in Park Slope, their visitor wasn't selling anything-he wanted to buy the place as a new home for his wife, a teacher, and their two daughters. According to Patricia Neinast of the Corcoran Group, who brokered the sale, "They were moving from a very comparable apartment on Prospect Park West." But the girls had friends in the neighborhood, plus the apartment comes with a rear garden and a painting studio for Mom in the basement-a poster for home insurance.

THE HARLEM HUSTLE

Last October, Sean Holl- ingsworth, a stage producer, and Donald Robinson, an accountant, thought they had sealed a deal to buy a house at 59 West 119th Street. The pair had found two tenants to rent out part of the house and were planning their holiday-slash-housewarming party for December when they got the bad news: Their seller had signed a contract with another buyer, and the other buyer now had the keys. Their security deposit was returned to them, but their dream house was lost.

Filled with guilt, their broker, Glenn Rice of Willie Kathryn Suggs Real Estate Inc., "took them around everywhere" looking for a replacement house.

Mr. Rice said many Harlem buyers-and there has been a stampede of them-are intent on staying in West Side neighborhoods like Mount Morris Park, near Lenox Avenue and Central Park North, and Morningside Heights and Hamilton Heights, near and north of Columbia University. But this couple had only one sticking point: "I really wanted mahogany moldings, and most of the stuff we saw was oak," explained Mr. Robinson.

Earlier this month, they ended up buying an 18-foot-wide townhouse at 29 East 126th Street for a little over $460,000. "I really liked the configuration," said Mr. Robinson.

The building has its share of problems, but this time the buyers are aware of them. "The ground floor was being used as a restaurant at one time," explained Mr. Rice. "To have a little club or restaurant going on where it shouldn't be … is kind of a Harlem thing."

What's more, the building is still listed with the Department of Finance as a "single-room-occupancy hotel," or boardinghouse-something that will take a little money and a lot of paperwork to fix.

But the sense of history about this place got the couple interested. "The [front] doors are 10 feet tall," said Mr. Rice. "The ceiling height on the parlor floor is 13 feet; there are mirrors … and enormous mahogany details throughout the house: moldings, pocket shutters."

Plans are for the couple to occupy the two floors attached to a garden, with three bedrooms, three bathrooms, a large kitchen and a separate dining room.

In the end, they're happier starting over-their would-be home on the West Side was already renovated-even if it means spending a few weeks sleeping in Mr. Robinson's office.

"We'll get exactly what we wanted now," he said.