The Eight-Day Week

To Do Thursday: Black and White and Silver

Happy Birthday to us! The New York Observer is a quarter of a century old, and publisher Jared Kushner and CEO Joseph Meyer have assembled a bonzo boldfaced lineup of NYC’s most fabulous hosts to fête the glorious occasion. Think NYO founder Arthur Carter, Marchesa designer/knockout Georgina Chapman, art kingpin Larry Gagosian, Carolina Herrera, Katie Holmes (Suri will be in bed—sorry, tabloids), Commissioner Ray Kelly, style icon Lauren Santo Domingo, Matt Lauer Read More

Gossip Girl

Goodbye strangers, it's been nice! (CW)

Gossip Girl Finale Keeps Fans Wondering Why We Loved These Jerks in the First Place

One time we tried to watch an episode of Gossip Girl. It was 2007, and Obama was gaining grass-roots support among young voters thanks to the hard work and dedication of Will.i.Am, Scarlett Johansson and two teenage newcomers, Blake Lively and Penn Badgley.

Yes, these two–dare we say–heroes had stood up together (in accordance with CW regulations) and announced in a commercial that they were voting for Barack Obama. The two co-stars, who, from the little we had seen of their program, were not especially interesting but found themselves endlessly fascinating, were given special celebrity passes because they were dating both on and off the show. And that’s always fun. Read More

2012 in review

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Biggest Over/Underachiever: James Franco

Celebrity Superlatives: Class of 2012

This has been a big year for the young Hollywood crowd! Channing Tatum made the cover of People‘s Sexiest Man Alive, Taylor Swift dated both a Kennedy and a New Direction, and Lena Dunham did everything else. But now that the year is coming to an end, it’s time we hand out the awards like “Best Smile” and “Most Likely to Become President” (both go to Ryan Gosling). Give a hand for your 2012 Class of Celebrity Superlatives! Read More

Big Apple Idolatry

Lady Gaga's maternity wear (Getty Images)

Big Apple Idolatry: Celebrities are Fat, on Drugs, Possibly Pregnant

— The Church of Scientology has written a strongly-worded letter to Vanity Fair about Maureen Orth’s cover story on Tom Cruise and the woman auditioned to be his girlfriend, Nazanin Boniadi. It’s eight pages long. In it, the church threatens, “If Vanity Fair goes forward with publication of such defamatory allegations, now that it is on notice that the story is false, the stain on its reputation will last long after any reader even remembers the article. The sting of the jury verdict will last longer still; far longer than any pleasure from racing to publish a poorly researched and sourced story.” Read More

movies

Kitsch, Lively and Johnson in Savages.

Savages: From Hashish to Ashes, Cannabis Flick Can’t Stay Lit

What I know about the internecine workings of Mexican drug cartels you could fill in an egg cup—and still have enough space left over for the egg. But this I know: It’s a subject and a subculture that has got to be more fascinating than anything in gonzo director Oliver Stone’s deadly, hateful, preposterous and cliché-riddled movie Savages. He even makes the violence look dull.

Based on one of those Don Winslow carnage epics that appeal to grown men who still read comic books, Savages boogies to the beat of an assault weapon, cutting back and forth between the cold-blooded drug lords in Tijuana and the stoner gringos of Southern California, fighting it out for billions in the Baja Peninsula. The convoluted plot, which would be difficult to decipher with the aid of a microscope, is as familiar as any one of a thousand cable network television series—and Mr. Stone’s dialogue is as wooden as a rocking chair, possibly because his script was co-written by the dubious Shane Salerno (Alien vs. Predator) and novelist Don Winslow, whose grasp of the way real people talk is as phony as reality TV. Read More

movies

Chloe Grace Moretz and Blake Lively

Hick: Ass Backward

Derick Martini is stuck in a rut of coming-of-age movies. His first feature, the 2008 artistic failure Lymelife, was a coming-of-age opus about dysfunctional young people struggling to get out of Long Island and survive miserable marriages, a real estate crisis, the doomed economy and Lyme disease. His new one, a deadly dud of a horror called Hick, is a hopped-up coming-of-age road movie about a dysfunctional, filthy-mouthed 13-year-old runaway named Luli (Chloë Grace Moretz) who is trying to hitchhike her way from a hick town in Nebraska all the way to Vegas. I can’t say I blame her for getting the hell out of Nebraska, but the way she does it is the stuff autopsies are made of. Read More

carrie on

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Taylor Swift--Writer Carrie

Carrie Bradshaw’s Headed Back to TV—But Who Should Play Her?

Word has it that Sex and the City is getting rebooted on TV–bringing back Carrie Bradshaw for a generation unfamiliar with her exploits! Carrie’s going to be a young writer struggling to make it in New York in a pilot ordered by the CW, as opposed to a youngish writer magically making it in New York. Which actress can portray the young Ms. Bradshaw with just the right mix of panache, narcissism, and ability to wear a Manolo? We have a few suggestions! Read More