CONSIDER THE DOLPHIN
Not since the great Morbillivirus outbreak in 1987 has the North Atlantic seen its shores awash with so many dead dolphins. In fact, the number of bottlenoses who’ve bit the bullet from a possible resurgence of the Measles-related outbreak is seven times higher than the July average. This fits with the New York general trend in the last year or so of sick dolphins swimming in the Hudson, and in one baffling case, the Gowanus Canal.
We have got to fix this, you guys!
Here is an abject lesson in the dangers of premature joy. Often times—especially in New York City—what ostensibly appears to be a magical thing can turn out to be a terrible tragedy, before we’ve fully registered the implication of said joy. For example:
Sadly, our friend the Hudson bottlenose dolphin has passed away. It was discovered, belly-up, on the Chelsea Piers this morning, several days after it was spotted frolicking in the murky waters separating Manhattan from New Jersey.
Though this is devastating news, we do retain some hope that this mammal carcass might not be the same dolphin that has recently been photographed in the water.
Oh my gawsh, there is a dolphin hanging around the Hudson River. Adorbs! Well, not really. Dolphins are smarter than people, at least when it comes to stuff like “how to survive in water,” and even humans are smart enough not to know not to swim in the Hudson.
So sadly, this little dolphin is probably very sick. Or trying to avenge his wife’s murder. Read on!