movies

Ms. Channing: All smiles, all the time.

Hello, Carol! Larger Than Life Ms. Channing’s Happy-Go-Lucky Lookbook of Photo Ops

I’ve always regarded Carol Channing as a walking alarm clock—tall, cherry-lipped and dinner-plate-eyed with a head as big and yellow as a sunflower—tick tock, tick tock. But according to director Dori Berinstein’s new documentary, Carol Channing: Larger Than Life, the frazzled dodo captured best in legendary caricatures by her friend Al Hirschfeld was a superficial image she cultivated for the entirety of her professional life, aided enormously in the effort by the only two famous and important roles of her career—gold digger Lorelei Lee in Gentlemen Prefer Blondes and meddling matchmaker Dolly Levi in Hello, Dolly! She invented them both, but her greatest invention has always been herself. Offstage, out of makeup and eyelashes and wigs like 20-pound piles of white farmhouse insulation, she was about as dumb as a brain surgeon turned rocket scientist, with a roaring IQ and a humanitarian heart as big as her bustier. Real life, as it turns out, was not always a turkey dinner. Like Judy Garland, she was no stranger to tears. Director Berinstein is too much of a fan to reveal it all. The result is cinematic Botox—a puff piece masquerading as a biopic, designed and edited for fans, drag queens and loyal chorus boys she always treated like family members because in reality she had none of her own. As a serious documentary, it is charming, sycophantic, peppy, endearing and, it must be admitted in all honesty, ultimately one-dimensional.

Don’t get me wrong. I love Carol Channing. Read More

Charlize Goes Ugly—Again!

Beauty wins Revlon endorsements. Ugly wins Oscars. Charlize Theron proved it, bloated and gruesome, as a lesbian serial killer in Monster. Now she’s out to prove it again as a single mother on welfare with broken nails and a battered face, slaving away in the slag pits of the Minnesota iron mines in the arduous Read More

Charlize Goes Ugly-Again!

Beauty wins Revlon endorsements. Ugly wins Oscars. Charlize Theron proved it, bloated and gruesome, as a lesbian serial killer in Monster. Now she’s out to prove it again as a single mother on welfare with broken nails and a battered face, slaving away in the slag pits of the Minnesota iron mines in the arduous Read More

Eight Day Week

Wednesday 2nd

Just when everyone had forgotten that fleeting rumor about John Kerry having an affair with a young woman named Alex Polier, the lady herself hops onto the cover of New York magazine. And by the way, how many Senators invite a pretty young thang to dinner and ply her with four mojitos Read More

It’s Cin-Drew-ella, With No Pumpkins

The publicity poop on Ever After says Drew Barrymore is not your grandmother’s Cinderella. So true. Beautiful but tomboyish, tough-minded and independent, she is esthetically pleasing (she can quote Thomas More’s Utopia ) yet formidably athletic. (Fighting off the villain to defend her honor, she’s as handy with a sword as Zorro.) No, she is Read More