Look familiar? (Screenshot: Gawker).

Natural disasters sure have a way of advancing a relationship, don't they? You go from drinks and late nights here and there to spending days together, unable to leave. It's like pushing the fast forward button on a relationship. You learn a lot about someone. Like that "Glamorous Drug Addict" you are hooking up with is kind of a handful. Who knew?

If you are Gawker EIC A.J. Daulerio and you spent Hurricane Sandy shacked up with Cat Marnell--or someone who sounds an awful lot like her (and looks like her too), you can use the opportunity to share all the things you learned with the world. 

Mr. Daulerio's post outlines eight simple rules for dating a "Glamorous Drug Addict."

"Be ready to explain to your Glamorous Drug Addict that the storm is really bad and that even though it looks like just a little rain, their life will be upended for a significant amount of time," wrote Mr. Daulerio. That is step one. Waiting out a storm can really take a toll on a relationship. And judging from this post, it was a stressful couple of days chez Daulerio. Ms. Marnell, who is referred to as "The Glamorous Drug Addict" throughout the post sounds like maybe not the best guest.

To judge from the post, the "Glamorous Drug Addict" left the "bedroom covered in debris like empty Coke Zero cans, Hawaiian punch bottles, stale bottles of poppers, Cheeto dust, donuts, and half-drank iced coffee, stray beauty supplies, empty packs of cigarettes, and random pills,"  slept for 12 hours on end, put her clothes outside to get that "weathered" look, refused to eat because getting fat during a Hurricane is lame and didn't seem to fully grasp the whole idea of the storm.

But worst of all? She didn't even say goodbye. Or thank you.

"The Glamorous Drug Addict will leave without warning, most likely while you’re sleeping," Mr. Daulerio wrote. "There will be no thank you note. There will be no goodbye."

Not even a thank you note? Geez. At least Mr. Daulerio can blog about it.

Marnell. (Courtesy Patrick McMullan)

At last night’s Housing Works panel on the legacy of the late Cosmopolitan editor Helen Gurley Brown, Vice columnist Cat Marnell stood out. Wearing a tight, translucent white dress and leather jacket, she snapped her gum, played with her hair and  alternately stared wide-eyed at the audience or down at her phone.

“I hate Gloria Steinem,” she announced at one point. “She’s boring and plain. My kind of feminism is that you want to be hot and awesome.”

Ms. Marnell was one of three panelists, along with Jezebel founding editor Moe Tkacik and Hairpin editor Edith Zimmerman, who gathered to discuss Gurley Brown and her efforts to help “mouseburgers” like herself have not only great sex, but all the money, recognition, authority and respect they deserved. At the panel, moderated by woman's magazine vet Alison Brower, Ms. Tkacik addressed her political leanings: “Before I was a Marxist, I was a slut.”

Ms. Zimmerman, seated between two voluble speakers, was more reserved, but she spoke with authority on the balancing act that comes with a career in gendered media, noting that while The Hairpin tried to escape the anti-feminist tropes of women’s magazines, its founders at The Awl network knew “There’s money to be made from advertising to females.”

Ms. Zimmerman, who wrote about the international Cosmo conference in Madrid for The New York Times, also noted how while, in the U.S., Cosmo “is sort of a punch line,” it has a stronger influence today in countries like Kazakhstan and Azerbaijan where it’s still “the only source for female issues and relationship issues.”

Which is a well-taken point, but somehow this didn’t register quite as strongly on the Richter scale of provocation as the volley that followed between Ms. Tkacik and Ms. Marnell, with the former Jezebel blogger noting that women in the Middle East would not be liberated by Cosmopolitan, and the Vice blogger suggesting that at least the magazine would show them how to have "sex in a doghouse."

And while Ms. Zimmerman was ambivalent about the role that kowtowing to advertisers played in women’s media, Ms. Marnell saw a role for traditional beauty products, with a saucy twist: “I think that money’s awesome. That’s what drives things.” She had sabotaged a $250,000 deal with Proctor and Gamble for a piece on “lipstick that won’t come off on a dick.”

The spirit of Ms. Brown lives on in some form, it would seem, though Ms. Marnell is more interested in a male pioneer. “My publishing idol is Larry Flynt," she said only to be one-upped by Ms. Tkacik who jumped in with her own anecdote about the girly mag publisher.

"One time," she said, "Larry Flynt offered Gloria Steinem $1 million if she posed open pussy.”

She didn’t do it. For this generation, that makes her a mouseburger.

Update: This post has been updated from the original. Ms. Tkacik made the statement about Gloria Steinem and Larry Flynt. Not Ms. Marnell.

Boardman. (Patrick McMullan/Patrick McMullan)

“I wish there were more neocon blondes involved … Otherwise I’m not registered to vote—because if Andy Warhol didn’t, why do I have to?” Cat Marnell cozied up to The Observer Wednesday night at Paper magazine’s eighth annual nightlife awards, offering us her views on the 2012 presidential race.

Removing a tragic fur coat, Ms. Marnell, a Best Nightlife Social Media Star nominee, revealed the now slightly smudged words “Chinese Democracy” written across her forearms in what we can only assume was black eyeliner.

“My political stance is Chinese Democracy.”

Uncertain, we asked her what this meant.

“I don’t know exactly. I was going to go with ‘manifest destiny’—I don’t know what that means either,” she said, flipping her head of blond hair to the side as she spoke. “I support Guns N’ Roses and I hope they get back together.” (Chinese Democracy is the title of a less-than-successful Guns N’ Roses album, which came out in 2008.)

What did she plan to do with award, should she be so fortunate?

“I’d really like to speak out about [getting the band back together], and I really don’t think young children shouldn’t be prescribed Adderall—so that’s my platform.”

Contemplating this, we grabbed a much-needed drink off a fast-walking cocktail model-waitress.

Disco balls hung by flimsy string from the rafters and cluttered the floor of the Grand Ballroom, while purple and green streamers fluttered in the air with every pulse of the fog machines. The tiny tables splayed out before the stage served poorly to fit the big personalities and bigger costumes meant to be sitting at them. Stray elbows from the impromptu dancing that had broken out at the Westgay table continually ruffled neighbor Kayvon Zand’s feather chest-piece, which extended about a foot above and behind him.

We gravitated towards Girls actor and presenter Alex Karpovsky, who seemed somewhat out of place amid the wigs and rhinestones, wearing a gray suit with his hands held behind his back. He described his nightlife to us as “slow, reflective, dreamy and soporific,” often involving “Sleepytime tea with honey.”

Sounded good to us. So why was he here at a nightlife event?  To catch up with friends and see familiar faces, of course.

Legendary Damon,perhaps?

We felt partial to British singer Rita Ora’s answer to the ubiquitous question: Her favorite part of New York nightlife? The food.

The eclectic mix of presenters, while nice to look at, failed miserably to speak directly into their microphones while delivering their scripted lines, losing the jokes entirely into the abyss of unending chitter-chatter coming from the audience. In what seemed to be an attempt to call attention back to them, an occasional “Go Obama!” was thrown out mid-introduction, continuing the strange, pseudo-political current running mindlessly amok throughout the evening.

When a drunken guest finally climbed onstage to take the mic from birthday boy and editorial director Mickey Boardman, with the cough syrupy aftertaste of our drink still lingering in our mouths, we realized what we had been reminded of all night: a prom, one desperately in need of a Kelly-Kapowski-esque dance committee chairperson. We think someone spiked the punch.

October cover girl Ellie Goulding gave a special performance at the night’s end, but her distinctive voice could only be made out in a few places over the static-y bass tones.

Party aficionado Andrew W.K., a Best Party nominee—true to form in stained pants and shirt—spoke to us about several different types of parties. He was planning to take a break Thursday night, the night voted Best Night to Go Out, not because he is going to be watching the vice presidential debate, but because he has another, less raucous, awards ceremony to attend: his father’s.

“If law professorship was a party, then he is getting an award for that,” he explained.

He did have plans to watch a rerun of the debate—which his wife, Cherie Lily, suggested he make a remix of and play at a club.

“I try to influence live events on TV like [the debate] psychically, but I can do that even if I’m not watching.”

What did he hope to influence on Thursday?

“The partying. I think when times have gotten tough, it seems inappropriate to enjoy yourself. I would look to the leaders of this country, whoever they may end up being, to encourage people to stay close to joy and not remove that from their life,” he said, “because joy can give you energy, and when you have energy you can go out and solve all the world’s problems.”

Photo credit Twitter

In last week’s installment of her Vice column, “Amphetamine Logic,” Wild child blogger Cat Marnell announced that her time at the hipster web mag was coming to an end.

“I’m writing my last columns,” Cat Marnell explained when we reached her late Friday afternoon .“I almost feel addicted to them, like I could go on forever.”

However, Ms. Marnell, who celebrated her 30^th birthday earlier this week, is ready for her next venture. She said she has become a perfectionist. “I’ve  just got to do it right. When you are writing weird, it’s make it good or go home, you know?” Ms. Marnell noted she scrapped this week’s column because she wasn’t happy with it and missed her deadline.

“I miss my deadlines all the time, and my editor just has to deal with me like Jane did.” Ms. Marnell was the Beauty Editor at xoJane.com until June. Ms. Marnell said she still talks to Jane Pratt all the time, and they plan to have dinner soon.

“I love her, she’s the great love of my life,” Ms. Marnell said of her erstwhile mentor.

But, even though she readily admits she's difficult to deal with, Ms. Marnell said she has enjoyed a great working relationship with Vice EIC Rocco Castoro.

“I mean, I’m a nightmare person to have work for you,” she said. “Half the time they give me edits and I don’t accept them and they are cool with that.”

“Rocco is very empathetic. He’s not happy that I have missed my deadline like multiple times. He’s offered to get me help if it’s a substance issue. He’s manly, I’ve never had a male editor-in-chief.”

To illustrate Mr. Castoro's testosterone quotient, Ms. Marnell told us about how he invited her to an upcoming Vice BBQ by texting her pictures of tomatoes and cucumbers (“so cute!”) to entice her. “He was like, you need to come to my backyard and grill meat.”

Ms. Marnell is preparing her book proposal, which she described as 80 percent done and said she hopes to have finished by next week. She noted that she should have already finished it this summer and said her agent, Byrd Leavell (who reps Tucker Max) of the Waxman Leavell Agency is mad at her for taking so long.

She originally thought her book, which she described as The Devil Wears Prada meets The Basketball Diaries was going to be an addiction memoir. Instead, she now sees it “not as a druggy book, but more about how it worked out.”

“As soon as I said, 'Fuck it,' things started working out for me,” she said. Accordingly, Ms. Marnell said she has adopted a new motto, which she got from a wheelchair advertisement on the side of a bus: “If you can’t stand up, stand out.”

Although known for her drug use, Ms. Marnell believes her writing and progress towards some semblance of sobriety is often overlooked.

“I go to parties, but I don’t really party that much. I’m not, like, Charlie Sheening,” Ms. Marnell said.

As proof of her newfound moderation, Ms. Marnell pointed out she hasn’t smoked PCP in a month.

“I’ve been working really hard at being a better person, but it’s not something I’m writing about.”

The title refers to Ms. Marnell’s public falling out with xoJane editor-in-chief Jane Pratt and parent company SAY Media, who asked Ms. Marnell to go to rehab a month before she left. She announced her departure (a mutual decision with Ms. Pratt) in a Page Six item, saying that she couldn’t spend another summer meeting deadlines when she could be on the roof of the Standard Hotel “looking for shooting stars and smoking angel dust with my friends and writing a book.”

Talk about red flags. Though hardly known for its strict decorum, Vice does have more suits walking around since partnering with big shot TV executives and expanding internationally. Off the Record asked editor-in-chief Rocco Castoro if he had any concerns about the new hire.

“She is not an employee, she is a contributor. So, no, I am not concerned,” he wrote an in email. “This also means we can’t ‘make’ her do anything; we wouldn’t want to anyway.”

“There really aren’t any shooting stars. I looked,” Ms. Marnell told Off the Record the evening after the Page Six item ran. She’d recently woken up after a long night out at the Soho House, gone to the Starbucks on Delancey, listened to some Britney Spears, and read all about her departure on the Internet.

“Everyone’s like, ‘She’s dying.’ I’m not dying,” said the 29-year-old East Village habitué, who will do sporadic freelance magazine work and write her memoirs in between columns.

Nor is Ms. Marnell the only xoJaner to cross-pollinate with Vice, a magazine which shares Ms. Pratt’s affinity for the frank, the personal, and the taboo. Amy Kellner, a longtime Vice editor, helped launch xoJane. (She is now associate photo editor at The New York Times Magazine.) Liz Armstrong, formerly xoJane’s “New Agey” editor, became Vice’s West Coast editor, though she still freelances for her old employer. And another Vice fixture, Lesley Arfin, who now writes for HBO’s Girls, is a role model of Ms. Marnell’s.

“She was the first person I ever met who is cool and sober,” Ms. Marnell said. Although she’s unapologetic about her drug use, Ms. Marnell said that friends in fashion and art who secretly abstain could motivate her to get clean.

“The only higher power I could ever settle upon was social climbing,” she said, though she has trouble maintaining the interest of would-be sponsors.

xoJane’s critics argued that Ms. Pratt (known since she was the editor of Sassy for making characters out of her writers and editors) enabled Ms. Marnell’s addictions by paying her to write about them, but Ms. Marnell said the exploitation was more basic than that.

“The deadlines were my only enemy,” she said. Daily quotas gave her less time for “the fun, normal stuff” that xoJane writers mine for daily blog output.

“I had nothing else to talk about!”

There’s a pertinent Jenny Holzer aphorism pinned up in her room that says, “Recluses Always Get Weak.” As “someone who gets depressed and needs their brain stimulated,” she found the solitary blogger lifestyle—ordering Seamless, checking Twitter, taking self-portraits on Photobooth—detrimental to her health. “Especially as a pill head, you know?”

Ms. Marnell will use the extra time to hone her craft.

“I’m going to be writing in a different voice. I’m much more ambitious.” she said.

It’s apparent in her debut column, in which she trades her chatty, intimate xoJane voice for a non-narrative stream of drugged-out conscience sort of thing.

“VICE has always been all about the ART ... and taking risks,” Ms. Marnell wrote Off the Record in an e-mail shortly after her column debuted. “I met with the editor in chief yesterday and he gave me no direction. I did what I wanted to do ... which I always do anyway ... Obviously.”

Ms. Marnell, right, in February.

xoJane.com beauty writer Cat Marnell has left Jane Pratt's site after refusing to kick her extremely well documented drug habit. The former Lucky beauty editor recently returned from rehab, as mandated by xoJane.com parent company SAY Media, but sources told The New York Post she was still high all the time.

Ms. Marnell wrote Page Six a "Why I Quit" letter so beautiful it really puts that Goldman Sachs guy to shame.

“I’m always on drugs. [...] Look, I couldn’t spend another summer meeting deadlines behind a computer at night when I could be on the rooftop of Le Bain looking for shooting stars and smoking angel dust with my friends and writing a book, which is what I’m doing next. [...] Drug addicts undeniably bring editorial black magic to the table like nobody else, but obviously we make the worst staffers. [...] We can fake it [for a time . . . before we turn into coddled emotional vampire nightmares.”

We miss her already.