But unlike the homeowners on Staten Island and other parts of the storm-ravaged coastline, the co-op owners do not qualify for federal assistance to repair some of the damage to their apartments. That’s because under Federal Emergency Management Agency rules, co-ops are considered businesses. That means individual owners cannot obtain FEMA aid to repair storm-ravaged walls and floors, because the co-op itself is responsible for those repairs.

FEMA says it can do nothing until or unless the rules are changed. So it’s up to New York’s Congressional delegation to push for common-sense adjustments in FEMA’s regulations. Senator Charles Schumer had it exactly right when he said that to deny aid to co-op owners simply is wrong, and the city estimates that at least 13,000 co-op apartments sustained damage as a result of Sandy.

Technically, co-op owners sign leases for their apartments, which means that in a very legalistic sense, they are not property-owners like, say, the owner of a single-family home in Oakwood Beach, Staten Island, or a condo owner in Bay Ridge, Brooklyn.

But New Yorkers know that this technicality is just that, a technicality. Those who live in co-ops have made an investment, just as the owners of other properties have. Many co-op owners in New York are seniors or people of modest means. But according to federal rules, they’re on their own if the building requires a new boiler or roof or other repairs.

In the meantime, non-FEMA aid—which is not subject to the same restrictions—can and should be directed to co-op owners as quickly as possible. Officials have indicated that co-op owners are eligible for a share of the $50 billion in federal disaster funding, but it will be up to the state and city to distribute the money.

Moving forward, New Yorkers need to take the lead in changing FEMA eligibility rules to better reflect the complex realities of home ownership.

The newest victim of our baser human instincts? 3-D printing, the snazziest reinvention of an office supply since the electric stapler, and now, according to a Vice documentary, our newest way to manufacture illegal guns and drugs. Good work, humanity.

3-D printers, which have been hailed as the future of manufacturing, are able to “print” 3-dimensional solid objects by weaving together plastic polymers into any shape the maker desires. And hey, guess what shape Americans like the most?! Guns.

Last week, the first fully functional handgun was created using 3-D printing. Since these guns are made of plastic, they can pass unrecognized through metal detectors, which has left law enforcement worried about how the new method could impact the illegal arms trade.

In an equally predictable act of lefty reactionism, yesterday, Senator Chuck Schumer proposed a bill entitled the Undetectable Firearms Modernization Act, that would ban the 3D printing of guns.

"A terrorist, someone who's mentally ill, a spousal abuser, a felon can essentially open a gun factory in their garage," Sen. Schumer said. “And the only thing they need a computer and a little over a thousand dollars. No background check and you don't even need to leave your house to make hundreds of these guns."

Hopefully the bill passes, and 3D printing can go back to being used what it was rightfully intended for: making miniature replicas of your own head.

We're gonna need more than just sandbags next time. (Getty_

That was the question The Observer put to a group of planning and infrastructure experts yesterday, after Senator Chuck Schumer announced that he expected the state to receive about $9 billion for storm mitigation measures, as part of its request to Congress for Sandy aid. After all, that is far from enough money to build some of those vaunted sea gates, though there is nothing to suggest more money might not be on the horizon in the future.

For now, though, here are their recommendations on what to do with $9 billion in new storm-securing infrastructure investments.

Richard Anderson, president, New York City Building Congress

Funds should be allocated toward proactive measures designed to strengthen and expand the region’s infrastructure. This is far more preferable than enacting defensive measures designed simply to protect our existing assets. Investments should be targeted toward creating a more resilient and redundant transportation network. Candidates include East Side Access to Grand Central Terminal, a new Trans-Hudson Tunnel and the rebuilding of the region’s three major airports. Another worthy idea is the creation of a government matching fund in order to further incentivize power companies to bury their existing power lines.

Gene Russianoff, senior attorney, NYPIRG Straphangers Campaign

One, harden the subway, bus and commuter rail systems from flooding, both storm surges and heavy rains. That could include elevated station entrances and grates, additional pumps and pump trains and, maybe, inflatable tunnel plugs. Two, create a whole network of faster Bus Rapid Transit of routes to provide an alternative transportation system in many parts of the city. Any mitigation strategies should be subject to serious fiscal and environmental reviews.

Beyond funding for communities in immediate need, I think it's just too early to say. We need some serious analysis before we start spending billions, which is why we need a Harbor Protection Commission.

Flooded. (Photo: Getty)

According to Senator Chuck Schumer, the federal government will soon begin the arduous task of returning floodwaters back to the Atlantic Ocean after Hurricane Sandy's surge flooded key transportation arteries earlier this week.

“In the past hour, I have received an update from the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers about the federal de-watering efforts happening in New York City," Mr. Schumer said in a statement this afternoon.  "A team of experts from Illinois and contractors from around the country are making their way to Lower Manhattan as we speak. Significant assets like pumps and de-watering equipment should arrive in Manhattan by this evening. The Corps is confident that they can begin pumping water by tomorrow morning."

Mr. Schumer said the priority will be pumping the salt water out of two tunnels and the World Trade Center site.

"The city has identified three major priority areas for pumping--the Brooklyn-Battery Tunnel, Battery Park Tunnel and the World Trade Center," he continued. "This is a critical mission that I know the Army Corps and FEMA are taking very seriously and I want to thank these federal agencies for working so diligently with the state and the city.”

Ride on! (Paul Steely White)

Maybe it was just the shortest route home.

Over the weekend, Chuck Schumer was spotted in the most unlikely place one might expect him, even though it is right outside his door. Senator Schumer has generally eschewed the controversial Prospect Park West bike lane, which his wife, former Transportation Commissioner Iris Weinshall, vociferously opposes in lawsuits and op-eds. An avid cyclist, the state's senior senator has neither supported nor opposed the lane. Perhaps he is now voting with his feet?

Bike advocate extraordinaire Paul Steely White, head of Transportation Alternatives, saw the senator coming at him on the bike lane this weekend and knew there was but one thing to do—take a picture and post it online. Mr. White told us that he never intended this to be a sensational moment, though.

"To me it wasn’t a ‘gotcha’ moment at all," he wrote in an email. "It was more a validation of my ideal Chuck Schumer, the one who supports biking and transit."

It's true, Mr. Schumer has been a fierce advocate of projects ranging from Moynihan Station to the recent reinstatement of the commute tax credit, and he has opposed the crummy transportation bills to come out of both houses of Congress this year.

That said, on this one tiny nine-tenths-of-a-mile bike path, he remains mum. A spokesman for Senator Schumer declined to comment on the sighting.

Just one more hit, and we're ready to face the world!

As people who have personally experimented with the AeroShot, the breathable caffeine inhalers (to varied degrees of success), we have our own opinions of its relative safety as the latest club drug. Just like we have our own opinion on Senator Charles "Kill all the Fun Things" Schumer, who this weekend teamed up with the F.D.A. to launch a full-scale investigation into the safety of the Breathable Food product.

But now that this ball is in motion, AeroShot's founder Tom Hadfield is agreeing to comply with the government examination of his product.

From a press release today:

"We will cooperate fully with the FDA's review to address the issues raised by Sen. Schumer and are confident that it will conclude that Aeroshot is a safe, effective product that complies with FDA regulations."

-Tom Hadfield, CEO Breathable Foods

Hey, if 5-hour ENERGY Shots are now an acceptable substitute for coffee, why not its breathable equivalent?

WARNING: Do not try this at home.

New York Senator Charles Schumer and the Food and Drug Administration have officially teamed up to declare open war on the consumer's right to induce heart palpitations via inhalable caffeine. The Senator announced Sunday that the F.D.A. has begun the process of determining whether caffeine inhalers are a legal and safe dietary supplement and not simply a new kind of "club drug." The senator warned that snorting products like the Aeroshot, which the Observer covered in depth, may be "dangerous, particularly to a 12-year-old." Sen. Schumer noted the products do not list an age limit for use and are "certainly dangerous when used in combination with alcohol."

[NY1.com]

WARNING: Do not try this at home.

Politicians can be such buzz-kills. First they petition to take the malt beverage/overly caffeinated Sparks off the shelves, then Four Loko, and now Senator Chuck Schumer is trying to get the FDA to review AeroShot Pure Energy "a breathable caffeine product," in light of possible safety concerns.

But how bad can inhaler full with 100 mgs of calorie-and-sugar-free caffeine actually be? After distributing the product to four members of The Observer's staff, we tipped our heads back and took one for the team to find out.

The results?

Currently, two of our four test subjects (including this post's author) are having mild panic attacks. "I feel like I just inhaled lime-flavored Adderall," said one participant. "Is my throat swelling up? I feel like my throat is swelling up." They immediately left the vicinity and haven't been back since. Another lab rat kept pumping more than one "shot" of the spray into his mouth, because "he wasn't getting anything." Three minutes later, soft giggles could be heard from his corner of the office.

"Please put up that clip of Jessie Spano," he said. We knew exactly which one he was talking about.

The third member of our experiment pumped his shot, made a face, and went back to writing a post...hold on...okay, now he's on CBS News' website. Now he's checking his email. Before that he was on Twitter, we think.

As for ourselves, we seem to have had the worst physical reaction to the latest attempt to appeal to club kids who are allergic to cocaine. We put the innocuous piece of plastic in our mouth and sucked; the next thing we knew, the world was spinning and it felt like tiny shards of asbestos were filling our lungs.

"Water!" we sputtered. We sprinted to the middle of the room and dry-heaved a bit until a coworker brought over some Poland Spring. Then we sprinted to the other side of the room. Then we sprinted back, cocked our head, and tried to determine whether or not we were having a heart attack.

(By the way, the third coworker is now looking at some weird audio visualization. What are those things called? Not sound waves, but they kind of look like EKG screens? We think he might be editing a song he just made.* Now he's reading his email again.)

"I wish I hadn't had coffee right before taking this," the giggling coworker gasped, before reaching for more coffee.

Five minutes later, two participants had come down from their high, one had left the building, and we were left writing this post about AeroShot Pure Energy, which we just noticed came with the most amazing cover letter ever:

"It all started with a bet. (Editor's note: Never a good sign for your non-FDA approved drug.) The concept for this revolutionary new product was developed by David Edwards, Harvard professor and leader of ArtScience Labs, a network of culture labs. While having lunch with his friend Chief Thierry Marx at Marx's restaurant, he began discussing ideas for a collaborative experiment for his cultural design center, Le Laboratoire. He asked Thierry if he thought it would be interesting to breathe food; Chef's eyes lit up, but he doubted it would work. The bet was on..."

It took us two and a half minutes to transcribe that paragraph. We're starting to crash, and feel a dull headache coming on. Incredibly, we are considering of reaching for another "shot" to boost us back up.

Conclusion: If this is this the baseline reaction to an "inhalable" drug--and how good can this stuff be for your lungs, though according to it's press release it doesn't go into your lungs, but your digestive tract, which is weird because we couldn't stop coughing-- without combining it with alcohol, we shudder to think of pumped-up 21 year-olds grabbing this thing after tequila shots and sucking them down like asthmatics at the end of a marathon.

For once, we agree with the government and Chuck Schumer trying to dictate our freedom of choice. This shit should not be legal.

*We were just informed that our coworker was actually recording an "audio file," not editing a dubstep remix. Also, his mouth is numb and he seems kind of mad at us.

"Americans benefit from free trade," said Chocola in a press release this morning. "It forces companies to innovate and compete leading to greater variety, lower prices, and better quality goods and services."

Club for Growth, which advocates and promotes free-market principles, has a long history of denouncing politicians who the group believes are not fiscally conservative enough. (The Club recently declared Donald Trump the "King of Protectionism" in response to his call for a 25 percent tax on Chinese imports.)

Schumer has been outspoken lately in his criticism of China's economic policies following a trip to Beijing earlier this month; and yesterday he declared his intention to unveil "a bunch of legislation" that would encourage the country to play nice with the U.S. by accelerating the appreciation of the yuan.

In the past, Schumer tried to take similar legislative action when he sought to impose a tariff on Chinese imports, which the Club for Growth calls "protectionist."

"Chuck Schumer likes to talk about how he's looking out for the middle class," said Chocola. "But he wants to hit Americans in all income brackets with a massive new sales tax on the goods they buy every day."

UPDATE: A Schumer spokesman emailed a response from the senator. "It is a betrayal of free-trade principles to let China continue taking unfair advantage of the rest of the world's economies. Every major American company that I met with in China told me that China does not trade fairly and their protectionism against foreign firms is getting worse. There is no bigger step we can take to promote U.S. job creation, particularly in the manufacturing sector, than to confront China's currency manipulation and I intend to do just that." 

"We talked about currency, we met with the American Chamber of Commerce," said the senator, offering one example. "They're afraid to speak out publicly, but when they met with us privately, every one of them had a complaint."

Schumer has been an outspoken critic of several Chinese policies, which he believes gives the country an unfair advantage in the international market. During his trip, which included nine of his fellow senators, Schumer criticized China's financial leaders for refusing to accelerate the appreciation of the yuan. The senator also said today that the country's current economic arrangement with the United States is unfair.

"Major, major [U.S.] companies are not allowed to sell goods in China. We allow China to sell goods here," he said. "They do not reciprocate."

Schumer said that he plans to take steps to deal with the situation through legislative action, following similar recent comments by Harry Reid.

"I have a whole bunch of legislation that I will be announcing on currency and other issues to deal with the fact that China doesn't treat us fairly," he said.