THERE GOES THE NEIGHBORHOOD
Does Lady Gaga hate me? I know I’m probably just being paranoid, but it’s like she combined two of my biggest reoccurring stress-dream symbols–Jeff Koons and raves– to make ArtPOP happen a couple blocks away from my house on a Sunday night? Pretty sketchy.
But then today she announces that on Thursday she’s going to turn the already panic-inducing Times Square, where I work, into an even more horrific hive-swarm for tourists, pimply pubscents and creepily middle-aged “monsters” when she cuts the ribbon on a new H&M? It’s like “All right, I get it.”
It’s only a matter of time before the flashing signs and statue impersonators arrive. Soho is now so overrun with tourists, food carts, Mr. Softee trucks and promoters pushing everything from hair gel to dating websites that it is virtually uninhabitable, reports the New York Post, warning, “SoHo has become NoGo.”
Residents are so angered by the impossible crowds that violence is flaring up. Last Thursday, a middle-aged New Jersey man in flip-flops bumped into two women walking the opposite way. The enraged women punched him in the face, knocked him to the ground and started kicking him.