Who stunned? Who flopped? Let's run down the line:

• Nicole Kidman: "Wearing elegant white sequin Prada."
• Olivia Wilde: "Bustier bombast of tulle and sparkle and perfectly combed hair."
• Natalie Portman: "Comfortable, modern elegance. Loved it."
• Tina Fey: "Gorgeous midnight-in-Paris blue L'Wren Scott velvet column."
• Sandra Bullock: "Super sixties cool."
• January Jones: "In a league of some of the best dresses ever seen on the red carpet."
• Michelle Williams: "In a nude daisy-chain appliqué Valentino—such an original choice."
• Tilda Swinton: "Impeccable glide and beautiful posture."
• Angelina Jolie: "A bit of a matronly choice, and the slightly extended shoulders didn’t help. Why would arguably the sexiest star in Hollywood go for something that looked as if it had been recycled from the back lots where Adrians or Orry-Kellys might have been discovered at the last minute?"

One of these things is not like the others! In the middle of an almost overdone outpouring of praise, André throws Angelina under the bus, offering some pretty damning critique in the middle of a softball fashion summary.

André saved the only other damning criticism for Helena Bonham Carter: "Her Vivienne Westwood lamé and a haze of tulle and point d’esprit and James Dean-style sunglasses, was the evening’s train wreck."

Hey, there's always next year!

SLIDESHOW: Check Out The Best Looks From This Year's Golden Globe Awards

nfreeman [at] observer.com | @nfreeman1234

A nation pauses.

Who, Daily Mail, and how do you know? Well, Middleton's mother Carol and little sister Pippa "spent nearly an hour and a half" at the London boutique of Bruce Oldfield. Yes, perhaps such anecdotal evidence -- women in a store -- falls short of confirmation when all parties involved are staying extra mum on the subject, but no matter. As far as the Daily Mail is concerned, the dress has been chosen.

And more details emerge!

St James’s Palace is keeping tight-lipped on her dress choice, but a senior courtier told the Mail she finally reached a decision last week. The 29-year-old had whittled down her options to two possibilities, it is understood.

So let's stop with the parlour game and declare the dress search over. Bruce Oldfield, you are one lucky clothier. And, of course, the Daily Mail makes sure to mention that Oldfield was a "favourite" of Princess Diana. Now everybody's happy.

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nfreeman [at] observer.com | @nfreeman1234