The happy couple.

As part of YouTube's "Comedy Week," Zach Galifianakis held a very special edition of his Funny or Die web series Between Two Ferns which starts out like a regular James Franco interview but then gets weird real quick. Lonely Island and Edward Norton co-star, which is great, because we haven't seen those guys in forever. (Edward Norton, where've you been hiding?)


Now that Jorma Taccone has done Girls, we are really hoping those Lonely Island guys find time to get together and make a movie/album/TV series/book of poetry/gay married to James Franco. After all, they can't busier than the Oz star, so what's their excuse for not popping up with new projects in the news every week? Laziness?

Surprisingly, Snoop Dogg did not come in last place. (Zynga.com)

And in a shocking upset, Edward Norton beat out Kristen Bell, Sophia Bush, Jonah Hill and Eva Longoria in Zynga's first-ever celebrity competition of Words with Friends, a game that we had all previously assumed Alec Baldwin was the hands-down champion of. As it turned out, Mr. Baldwin didn't even enter the ring, basically throwing the fight to the Fight Club actor, who won $132,500 for his charity, Maasai Wilderness Conservation Trust.

Mr. Norton did give a shout-out to the WWF master in his acceptance speech:

I'm happy to have won because it will have a huge impact for the work on Maasai Wilderness, which is an effort I'm very involved with and passionate about. This was a lot easier and more fun than asking friends to write checks to support our effort, so I'm grateful to Zynga for their generosity and for turning games into real impact and positive contribution. Next year I want Alec Baldwin in the roster. I want to beat the best. Anybody who would get thrown off a flight for refusing to stop playing WWF is somebody I need to play.

Of course, no man is an island, and Mr. Norton and the other contestants were helped out by players at home, among whom a winner will be announced today. Here are the final standings:

1. First Place – $132,500

Edward Norton, Maasai Wilderness Conservation Trust

2. Second Place – $57,500

Sophia Bush, Maasai Wilderness Conservation Trust

3. Third Place – $20,000

Kristen Bell, Harlem Grown

4. Fourth Place – $20,000

Eva Longoria, The Eva Longoria Foundation

5. Fifth Place – $5,000

John Legend, The Show Me Campaign

6. Sixth Place – $5,000

Snoop Lion, The Snoop Youth Football League

7. Seventh Place – $5,000

Jonah Hill, Harlem Grown

8. Eighth Place – $5,000

Paul Pierce, Truth On Health – The Truth Fund

We kind of love that there are two people below Snoop Dogg on this list. Either he must have phoned a friend, or Jonah Hill is illiterate.

2 Eyeballs out of 4

Don’t be misled by the title Leaves of Grass. Do not expect literacy, either. This stoner comedy has nothing whatsoever to do with Walt Whitman or poetry of any kind. It’s just another oblique backfire from Tim Blake Nelson, whose work as a writer-director in general wallows in a bog of mediocrity. In fairness, I admit I once admired his horror film The Grey Zone, a nightmarish, black-and-white study of life and death in a Nazi concentration camp that is so relentlessly depressing almost nobody liked it except me. But it’s been downhill from there.

At least this one features the consummate talents of the versatile Edward Norton. Ever watchable when it comes to acting, if not always reliable when it comes to picking scripts, he plays identical twins as different as a taco and a tornado. Bill Kincaid is a clean-cut, button-down Ivy League philosophy professor in Ralph Lauren Polo on his way to a teaching chair at Harvard. His brother, Brady, is a drawling, greasy-haired Smith Brothers cough-drop-box cover who has developed his own hydroponic system for growing the best marijuana crops in Oklahoma. Devoting his life to scholarly pursuits, shedding his Southern accent and redneck family roots (their grandfather was a bootlegger) and vowing to stay as far away as jet planes can fly from both his hillbilly brother and a crazy Mammy Yoakum mother right out of Li’l Abner’s Dogpatch (Susan Sarandon, again), Bill is reluctantly lured back home to Little Dixie, Oklahoma, for the first time in 12 years to briefly attend Brady’s funeral on the false pretense that his brother has been murdered. But Holy Hog Slop, as Walter Brennan used to say, Mom has checked herself into a rest home and Brady, it seems, has faked his own death and hatched a lethal plan to wipe out a vicious drug dealer and synagogue leader with the unlikely name of Pug Rothbaum (a colorful Richard Dreyfuss); the plan requires him to be in two places at once. This forces Bill to play along, pretending to be his own brother while Brady pulls off the crime in another town. Facing a scandal and a prison sentence that could destroy his academic career, Bill is struck by the realization that nothing he learned in his philosophy texts can get him out of this mess and back to the lecture halls of Brown. The film’s biggest flaw: If he’s a professor, how could he be so dumb?

Despite the implausible plot and a series of snafus that almost doom both brothers, a smidgen of interest grows as Bill and Brady are reunited, an oddball chemistry builds and Bill’s orderly life unravels. But director Nelson, a cornball actor at best, is over the top as a larcenous Pa Kettle of a redneck sidekick, and Keri Russell is totally wasted as a love interest for Bill; her role seems like an afterthought. She’s the one who quotes Walt Whitman, “because it has no rhyme or meter,” while she’s gutting a 40-pound catfish. Mr. Nelson, a native of Tulsa, tries to bring some homespun, snuff-spitting, Tobacco Road ambience to the Oklahoma hick-town settings, but aside from the frenetic pacing and the fascination of watching the skillful Edward Norton juggle too very different dual roles simultaneously, there isn’t much fun or originality to be experienced here. The film also contains some shocking, blood-splattering violence that seems grimly at odds with the rest of its comic style. The mirror-has-two-faces-idea is nothing new. From Bette Davis in Dead Ringer to Sam Rockwell in Moon, dozens of seasoned actors have lit each other’s cigarettes while the audience thinks it’s seeing double, and they’ve done it in much better pictures than this one. In Leaves of Grass, it seems irrelevant and recycled—essentially nothing more than a gimmick that wears out fast.

rreed@observer.com

It’s been interesting to watch the writers on this show try different things to see if they can breathe new life into a program that is plagued by complaints that it's the same week to week. We understand the argument--there tends to be a fairly unbreakable formula (strange patient and symptoms/three or four wrong diagnoses/almost death/cured by the brilliance of Dr. House in the last three to four minutes). That said, eat it, haters! This show is awesome, Hugh Laurie is awesome, and for god’s sake, watch it for the subtleties. Anyhoo, tonight, Dr. House tries to get the missing members of his team together and treats a porn star suffering from eye pain. Hot dog. [Fox, 8 p.m.]

Tuesday: Late Show with David Letterman

Attention womb watchers! Our very favorite big guy has the ridiculously gorgeous Penélope Cruz on the couch tonight, and maybe, with the help of Dave, we can put these pregnancy rumors to rest once and for all? Because seriously, haven’t people been speculating about this poor woman’s insides since mid-summer? Ms. Cruz will be discussing her latest team-up with Pedro Almodovar, Broken Embraces (which is fantastic – check for our review on Wednesday!) and the upcoming Nine – which just can’t get itself into theaters fast enough. [CBS, 11:35 p.m.]

Wednesday: Modern Family

Oh hi, did somebody say sweeps week? Our favorite new comedy will feature special guest stars Edward Norton (as a rock star, which should be awesome when he goes all method – and you know he will) and Elizabeth Banks, as a friend of Cameron and Mitchell’s. Mmmm, there’s something just so old-fashioned and satisfying about shows pulling stunts in mid-November. [ABC, 9 p.m.]

Thursday: Project Runway

Wooo hooo! It’s finale time! We’ve been feeling awfully conflicted about this season of Project Runway. On the one hand, it was a relief that the show didn’t change too much making its move from Bravo to Lifetime (besides the weird faux Mood). But didn’t it just feel like some of the magic was missing? Either with the weird rotating judges, subdued Tim Gunn or just the boring contestants? Regardless, competing for the big prize, we’ve got the giant girl, the sweet stomach flu-afflicted muppet, and the scary unstoppable Georgian chick all sending things down a runway (that took place like a year ago, but whatevs). [Lifetime, 10 p.m.]

Friday: The Notebook

Sure, those tween wannabe fangbangers will be lining up to see the new Twilight, but if it’s tortured love you’re looking for, get the tissues and settle in for some uber-manipulation at the hands of Nicholas Sparks. This 2004 film, directed by Nick Cassavetes and based on Mr. Spark’s first bestselling novel, introduced the world to Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams (thank you!) and also strengthened some of our phobias about aging, nursing homes and dementia. But how awesome is it to think of James Garner as a grown up Gosling? And speaking of which, wither Gosling? We miss you! [Oxygen, 8 p.m.]

Halloween might be over, but that doesn't mean the scares have to stop. We wouldn't go so far as to call Vertigo a "horror movie," but Master of Suspense Alfred Hitchcock ratchets the tension to such unbearable levels that parts of it are more terrifying than anything you'd see in whatever torture porn is defiling theaters in a given week. Of course you've watched Vertigo before, so we aren't going to tell you anything new—Bernard Hermann's score is fantastic, Jimmy Stewart is perfectly obsessive, Kim Novak is the epitome of cold, blah, blah, blah—but did you know that Turner Classic Movies is now available in HD for Time Warner subscribers? It's true! If you thought Vertigo looked great before, wait until you see it now. [TCM, 8 p.m.]

Tuesday: By the People
Because what you need is more opportunities to watch Barack Obama on television, here comes By the People, a new HBO documentary produced by Edward Norton (who presumably took time out his busy schedule of Modern Family watching and New York City marathon preparation to do so.) By the People is a behind the scenes look at the 2008 presidential campaign, which should be fun, if only to remind us that just a year ago we were so much more optimistic than we are now about the future of America. It'll be nice to see now-president Obama once again telling us that yes, we can. [HBO, 9 p.m.]

Wednesday: The Girl Next Door
If a movie came out today starring Emile Hirsch and Paul Dano, chances are you would expect it to be some serious indie drama directed by Sean Penn. But back in 2004, the movie they co-starred in was a teen sex comedy about a high school senior dating a porn star, and it did so poorly at the box office, you probably forgot it even existed. Not us though! You can write off The Girl Next Door as trite and silly, but Luke Greenfield's film is kinda brilliant—funny, smart, poignant and raucous. And if nothing else, you can just watch for the music cues. Does anything go better with coming of age angst than "Baba O'Riley" and "Under Pressure?" We didn't think so. [FX, 8 p.m.]

Thursday: Community
And now we interrupt our regularly scheduled programming to bring you a weekly plea to watch Community. For reasons that we cannot figure out, this show hasn't caught on the way it should. The ratings are poor (despite a full season order from NBC, Community averages just under 6 million viewers per episode) and, worse, there seems to be quite the negative stigma attached to the series. People don't want to like! When we tell friends it's funny, they get a look on their face like we're telling them to watch Family Guy. Wake up, everyone! Whether or not Community makes it longer than one season remains to be seen, but what we have on our hands is the quickest and snarkiest show on network television since Arrested Development. Seriously, the jokes fly out at a clip that would make even 30 Rock jealous. That you aren't watching this on a weekly basis is borderline criminal. [NBC, 8 p.m.]

Friday: The Darjeeling Limited
Wes Anderson made quite a stink in the blog world last week when he (facetiously?) wondered to the New Yorker why Slumdog Millionaire was the India-based movie that hit with the populace and not his 2007 travelogue of ennui, drugs and broken familial bonds. And as you read that description, perhaps you can figure out the answer. In the oeuvre of Mr. Anderson, The Darjeeling Limited sits somewhere towards the bottom, but it's never terrible thanks almost totally to Adrian Brody, Owen Wilson and Jason Schwartzman who play the least believable-looking set of brothers we've ever seen. Whenever the three are allowed to riff off each other, The Darjeeling Limited is quite fun; when it bogs down with sentimentality and spirituality, it's not. Still, the real problem is that unlike Slumdog Millionaire, there isn't a dance number during the credits. Next time, Wes. Next time. [More Max, 4:15 a.m.]

Monday: The Painted Veil

File this under movies not enough people went to see: 2006’s The Painted Veil is a haunting drama, based on the (excellent) W. Somerset Maugham novel. The film stars Edward Norton and Naomi Watts as a British couple in the midst of marital strife, who go to a small Chinese village during a cholera outbreak. We’re pretty sure it’s one of the more ingenious take-revenge-on-your-cheating-wife plots ever; it has insanely gorgeous cinematography; and both of the lead actors turn in fantastic performances. Gosh, we wish Edward Norton worked more (we got to talk to Mr. Norton way back when about making this film, and can report that he’s super smart…like a computer!) [HBO, 12 p.m.]

Tuesday: The Biggest Loser

Some people watch The Biggest Loser for the inspiration (people changing their lives healthily and for the better), others for the contestant drama (that Tracey lady is totes the craziest person we’ve ever seen on this thing) and still more because it makes one feel thin and pretty by comparison (till sometime later in the season when the contestants start weighing within 20lbs instead of 200lbs from you). But for those who still need more convincing, Derek Jeter pops up tonight to lead the fatties (what? They are!) in a baseball challenge. We know, our head just went boom, too. (Though we’d be remiss if we didn’t also mention that the classic It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown is on ABC tonight. People, this is what the DVR was invented for). [NBC, 8 p.m.]

Wednesday: Modern Family

We know that our own Christopher Rosen doesn’t agree, but we don’t care: Modern Family is the funniest new show on television, and it is fast becoming a consistent bright spot in our weekly television viewing. The good news, for those not yet on board, is that it’s easy to join in. In the show, three different families make up one big complicated one, and it is sharply written with great actors. Al Bundy/Ed O’Neill stars! Here’s a clip from last week for everyone to enjoy. [ABC, 9 p.m.]

Thursday: Milk

There was an awful lot of hype this time last year for the movie Milk. It had all these big stars (Sean Penn, Josh Brolin, James Franco, Emile Hirsch, Diego Luna, Alison Pill) and maybe one of the best trailers we’ve ever seen, and you know what? It holds up! HBO started running this movie last weekend, and it’s worth watching again for the snappy Oscar-winning screenplay by Dustin Lance Black, the excellently understated performance by Mr. Brolin and the man who took home the best actor award, Sean Penn (who basically admitted during his Oscar acceptance speech that he’s kind of a jerk!) [HBO, 4:15 a.m.]

Friday:  Friday Night Lights

We bet you’re wishing you had Direct TV now….for those lucky ducks who have no problem putting something on their roof that allows them to get stuff from outer space, Friday Night Lights season four premieres. This is the little-show-that-could, perhaps one of the very best that is somehow always in danger of being cancelled. Don’t let it! Tonight’s season opener will be directed by executive producer Peter Berg (who hasn’t been behind the camera since the show’s pilot in 2006), and it sure is going to get interesting fast out there in Texas, with Coach Taylor coaching the East Dillon Lions (ack!) and hottest-mom-ever Tami Taylor still working as the principal of West Dillon High. Who gets to keep the “clear eyes full hearts can’t lose” manta? And where is Tim Riggins!? For all us fans without Direct TV, we’ll just have to wait and see this one in 2010. Sigh. [DirectTV, 9 p.m.]

It's 2 a.m. and you awake with a jerk, alone in your fully lit apartment and still on the couch. On TV, the credits of some movie you've already seen a billion times are scrolling by. It feels like rock bottom. And we know, because we're just like you: single.

Need a movie to keep you company until you literally can't keep your eyes open? Join us tonight when we pass out to Fight Club [starting @ 11:30 p.m. on Fuse]

Why we’ll try to stay up and watch it: There are those people that think Fight Club is a depraved, silly and condescending film—one that possesses utter contempt for its audience and characters; those that feel this is the type of movie that actually winds up celebrating the same people it hopes denigrate (for a more current example of this, see the controversies erupting over the yet-to-be released Bruno); frankly, there are people that just don’t like this thing. And to them, we say: Get over it! Fight Club is a true pop masterpiece, and, depending on the day you asked, it would rank fairly high on our list of all-time favorites.

Effusive praise aside, we are objective enough to understand Fight Club does have flaws and limitations; both of director David Fincher’s two most recent films, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button and Zodiac, are more complete thoughts from a cinematic standpoint. But Mr. Fincher has never again come close to capturing the spirit and energy of Fight Club. He attacks the adaptation of Chuck Palahniuk’s novel, written for the screen by Jim Uhls (whose only other legitimate credit is for Jumper; go figure), with the tenacity of an angry shark. Fight Club is cut with a razor’s edge, and Mr. Fincher keeps the film hurdling along at speeds that clock in at just below borderline derailment. And while Mr. Fincher almost loses his grip on the proceedings during the clumsy third act, he pulls it all together for the Pixies-scored denouement. Even in a September 10th world (Fight Club was released in the spring of 1999), ending your film with the mass bombing of multiple buildings takes guts we’re not sure many filmmakers have.

When we’ll probably fall asleep: While we can’t agree with the fanboys at Empire magazine who called Tyler Durden the greatest film character ever (was Quint from Jaws ineligible?), we can at least understand that kind of breathless hyperbole. Brad Pitt’s portrayal of Durden is a whirling dervish of charm and menace; of course people love Tyler! But ... give us Edward Norton’s Narrator over him any day of the week. Mr. Norton has kept a much lower profile than Mr. Pitt (which is true of almost every other person on the planet), but Fight Club is a great reminder of his talents as an actor: He’s focused, sardonic, resigned and really good at being kinda creepy. So we’ll make it until 12:40 a.m., 70 minutes into the film, when Mr. Norton’s “button-downed Oxford clothed psycho” takes the stuffing out of his boss by threatening to go postal on his office mates, all while barely raising his voice above a whisper. 

Monday: Jon & Kate Plus 8
Schadenfreude alert! The Gosselin family (Jon, Kate and their eight children, including a set of sextuplets) return to television tonight for the fifth season of the hit reality show that bears their name, just in time to make you realize your life isn’t so bad after all. Word is, the current tabloid darlings will address all those reports of martial infidelity and strife. (Jon cheated! Kate cheated! They have an open marriage! They’re already divorced!) Amid all that sleaze however, there are also, y’know, eight innocent children running around looking for parental guidance. For the sake of those cute kids, here’s hoping season six isn’t called Jon and Kate Plus Eight on Alternate Weekends. [TLC, 9 p.m.]

Tuesday: Mental
We can almost hear the pitch for this one: “He’s like House, but less cantankerous and more British!” The “he” is Chris Vance, a British actor you might remember from season two of Prison Break, starring as Dr. Jack Gallagher, the newly appointed psychiatric director at a hospital in Los Angeles. As you might expect, Dr. Gallagher is the type of physician who practices some unconventional methods of care—in the opening minutes of the pilot, he strips naked to corral a patient gone haywire. Mental is such a rote endeavor that it could conceivably make your eyes cross. But, hell,  it’s officially summertime! Being a rote endeavor qualifies it as watchable. [Fox, 9 p.m.]

Wednesday: The Goode Family
Now that King of the Hill has been mercifully canceled, Mike Judge (the overrated mastermind behind Hill, Beavis and Butthead and Office Space) returns to the confines of familial animation with The Goode Family. Think of this of this as King of the Hill gone Blue State: The Goode’s are politically correct environmentalists who have a dog named Che. Yeah, it’s that kind of series. If jokes about Al Gore and vegans are up your alley, this one’s for you. [ABC, 9 p.m.]

Thursday: Kissing Jessica Stein
This is one of the better Woody Allen rip-off New York romances we’ve seen, if only because star Jennifer Westfeldt is so winning as the sexually confused and neurotic lead. That Kissing Jessica Stein rises above the Skinemax-ready premise (pretty single gal decides she wants to be in a relationship … with another girl!) is all due to Ms. Westfeldt's evenhanded screenplay, which is so good we wonder why a big studio never snatched her up to write a mainstream romantic comedy. Fun fact: Keep an eye out for Ms. Westfeldt’s real-life boyfriend, some dude named Jon Hamm, in a small role as a dinner guest. [IFC, 6:15 p.m.]

Friday: The Incredible Hulk
Twenty years from now, when we look back at the passing fad that was comic-book movies, we’ll stumble upon the fun silliness that was The Incredible Hulk and laugh. What other reaction could there possibly be to a movie—about the Incredible Hulk, mind you—that stars noted thespians like William Hurt, Tim Roth and, in the lead role as the Green Menace, Ed Norton. We can only assume Daniel Day-Lewis was unavailable. [5 Star Max, 9 p.m.]

Saw V

What's the story: If you're wondering what the October Surprise is, look no further than Saw V. It's absolutely stunning that this horror franchise is on its fifth go-around. We don't know anything about the latest edition, but presumably the plot deals with a bunch people dying violent deaths. Expect this to make lots of money.

Who should see it: People who thought Saw IV didn't really tell the whole story.

High School Musical 3

What's the story: Speaking of making lots of money... allow us to introduce you to HSM3. (Hey, that's what the kids are calling it!) If you're a parent, there is a good chance you'll be seeing this over the weekend. Don't worry. As Sarah Palin would say, your reward will be in heaven. If you don't have kids, just know that this movie is the start of Zac Efron's world domination.

Who should see it: Every single tween in the tri-state area.

Pride and Glory

What's the story: The first time we saw the trailer for Pride and Glory, the Edward Norton/Colin Farrell cop flick from writer Joe Carnahan (Narc) and director Gavin O'Connor (Miracle), we thought it looked pretty interesting. The cast! The writer! The director! The problem? The trailer ran in front of No Country for Old Men. Since then Pride and Glory has been pushed back and forth like a kid on a swing. That's not a good sign.

Who should see it: Ed Norton fans that can't wait until January when Pride and Glory gets released on DVD.

Changeling

What's the story: Angelina Jolie wants her son back in the latest from Clint Eastwood. The reviews have hung on the good side of mixed, and Changeling looks like it could finally net Ms. Jolie the well-deserved Best Actress nomination she's been striving for. However, we have a feeling Mr. Eastwood's other 2008 film, Gran Torino, will get the bulk of his Oscar buzz.  

Who should see it: Brad Pitt.

Synecdoche, New York

What's the story: Charlie Kaufman's directorial debut stars Phillip Seymour Hoffman as an aging theater director who spends his whole life creating a life-sized replica of New York inside a warehouse. Our Rex Reed calls it the worst movie ever made. Looks like somebody just got crossed off Mr. Kaufman's Christmas card list.

Who should see it: Donald Kaufman.

We stay up way past our bedtime (especially on school nights), being kept company by movies we've seen a billion times.... until we literally can't keep our eyes open. We know we're not alone: maybe you need a movie to sleep to, too! So join us tonight when we pass out to Keeping the Faith (starting @ 11:35 on Starz! Kids & Family).

Why we'll try to stay up and watch it: We're all tired of Ben Stiller. This is especially true when he's in schlocky romantic comedies playing some high-strung nebbish (The Heartbreak Kid, Along Came Polly.) So logically, seeing him as a Rabbi in a forbidden love triangle with a Shiksa Goddess and a Catholic Priest would be simply unwatchable, even if that Goddess is Jenna Elfman and that Priest is Edward Norton. But in Keeping the Faith, Stiller is toned down to an almost charming degree. We're guessing that has a lot to do with Norton, making his official directorial debut (because we all know he, and not Tony Kaye, actually directed American History X.) Norton brings his meticulousness to a genre that often just drifts along on chemistry. And as an added bonus, he gets to play a really nice and normal guy. Norton isn't a gifted comedian, but he manages to be a decent straight man.

Keeping the Faith feels like one of those cute Woody Allen movies that Allen stopped making a decade ago. You want Stiller and Elfman to get together, and you know that Norton and Stiller will become best friends again despite their differences, all before credits roll. Plus, Anne Bancroft shows up as Stiller's mom. That alone should keep us up until 1:45.

When we'll probably fall asleep: At some point after Ken Leung (Miles from LOST!) shows up as a "Jesse's Girl" singing, karaoke machine selling, Asian stereotype.