Marquee awaits! (Instagram)

Nightlife bro-friends Noah Tepperberg and Jason Strauss are at it again with tonight’s opening of Marquee. No, not that Marquee, a new one! Located at 289 Tenth Avenue, this club will have everything: a stage for musical acts, “light jockies,” Brooklyn-themed wallpaper designed by Mike D. of the Beastie Boys and 2,000 vintage books treated to look like a graphic equalizer.

There’s no night like opening night, so grab yourself an invite (or try to sneak in as a plus-one) and party till the morning.

Marquee, 289 Tenth Avenue at 26th Street, 10pm. Invitation only.

Susan Miller.

Today should be a national holiday in recognition of the two-day hangover. Let’s raise a glass of something—anything—to the enduring collective headache. And cheers to New Year’s Eve, whether you were in Millbrook for shooting and scotch (on scotch on scotch)or in Palm Beach for a party hosted by the Coconuts—that super-special club of just 24 men, including David Koch, Leonard Lauder and Wilbur Ross—wearing a carnation and a white jacket for the occasion.

Whatever you did on December 31, yesterday was a joke. A joke with a punch line of nausea. You remember, don’t you? Think heavy curtains and an order of mozzarella sticks with a side of bacon, followed late in the afternoon by a hamburger chaser at JG Melon, the Upper East Side favorite frequented by Old Boys and ladies who actually lunch.) But today ... today is when the real pain happens. You’re back to work, with a whole year ahead of you. Make the most of it!

Before you plunge back into the scrum, however, maybe surf over to Susan Miller’s website, Astrology Zone. As every female knows, she updates on the first of the month, which we’re guessing you missed. Reading your horoscope online is the best way to be proactive about 2013 without lifting a finger ... well, maybe your index finger.

JG Melon, 1291 Third Avenue; Susan Miller’s horoscopes can be found at www.astrologyzone.com

Sir Elton John

As an annual fixture at Elton John’s ever-raucous Academy Awards party, you’ve been a longstanding and highly generous supporter of the Elton John AIDS Foundation (got to keep those invites flowing somehow. How else are you going to be BFFs with Katie Price?). Tonight you’ll continue your support of the good cause at a slightly less paparazzi-heavy event. The foundation is hosting a fine-art photography exhibition. The portfolio features pics from David LaChapelle, Alex Prager, Ed Ruscha and Hedi Slimane, and the unique prints are available for purchase only as a set. You know what that means: call the bank, get your affairs in order, take a deep breath and sign on the dotted line. Tonight you’re coming back with a slew of new art for your whitewashed walls. To a fine Oscar party, and Sir Elton!

EJAF Fine Art Photography Portfolio II, at Marian Goodman Gallery, 24 West 57th Street, 6 to 8 p.m. Free and open to the public.

Amanda Hearst, chair of the Whitney's studio party.

Wednesday, September 28

Hip Hop for Haiti

As we head into October, New York again braces itself for the annual autumn spree of charity functions. And though the foundations vary, representing any number of worthy causes, it still seems you can’t go a week in this town without a benefit for Haiti. And we say, “As it should be.” It’s a worthwhile cause: the small island country is still recovering from natural disasters and a flailing economy. (We do all remember this year’s Polo Classic, which donated funds to Hope Help and Rebuild Haiti. Indeed, who could forget Wyclef Jean’s head-scratching freestyle rap, which led to a dance party with Donna Karan and Hugh Jackman?) Well, if you’re looking for a cheaper way to donate to the country, Art in Motion is throwing a bash at Red Bull Space, replete with various diversions. There’ll be Haitian sculpture, a short-story reading, a Skype conversation from the island, a photo exhibit and a performance by the Sugarhill Gang, which has—breaking news!—changed its name to Rapper’s Delight. We don’t exactly endorse the policy of changing the name of your band to that of your single hit, but since we still know the whole song by heart, we’ll forgive them.

Concert to Empower Haiti, 8:00 p.m., Red Bull Space, 40 Thompson Street, $25; http://artinmotionshow.com/

Thursday, September 29

Big Top Jay-Z

Oh, the carnival—another one of fall’s classic pleasures. Who doesn’t love long nights riding the tilt-a-whirl, indulging in foods we did even know could be fried, going up in the Ferris wheel with Jay-Z and Beyoncé ... wait, what was that? It seems carnival season’s going to be a bit different this year, as Hova’s Shawn Carter Scholarship Foundation is taking over Pier 54 for a night of state-fair fun, taken to the next level. Instead of snacking on peanuts, you’ll chow on food from the Spotted Pig (Jay’s an investor). Instead of stuffing your face with cotton candy, you’ll scarf down cookies from Momofuku Milk Bar. And instead of winning a giant stuffed animal you have no clue what to do with, you’ll win much better prizes, including Nets tickets, electric guitars and—new watch alert—Hublots. No word yet about whether or not the host will perform, but either way, it’ll be quite the circus. P.T. Barnum, you better watch the throne.

2011 Carnival at Hudson River Park, Pier 54, 8:00 p.m.–12:00 a.m.; tickets available at http://www.scfcarnival.com/ $1,000–$1,500.

Friday, September 30

Author, author!

Each year, smart-mag editor David Remnick transports his writers from the page to the stage for The New Yorker Festival, a series of discussions, talks and performances with luminaries from the magazine’s areas of interest. It’s a stacked lineup this year, and judging from the schedule for the first day, the big to-do seems to be front loaded. Spend your night taking in a sobering discussion of war with Chang-Rae Lee, Tim O’Brien and ZZ Packer. Or if you’re trying to take your mind off the world’s problems, there’s a conversation between New Yorker art critic—and amateur fireworks enthusiast—Peter Schjeldahl and wild-and-crazy Renaissance man Steve Martin. Our pick for the night, however, is the evening with Sasha Frere-Jones and one-woman music act St. Vincent. Annie Clark, the one woman, will discuss her new album, Strange Mercy, and treat the audience to a few songs, too. The record is superb, by the way. We’ll be in the back rocking out with you, Mr. Remnick!

The New Yorker Festival, September 30 - October 2, Various locations. Go to http://www.newyorker.com/festival for tickets, full schedule, and venue information. Or, just download the iPad app.

Saturday, October 1

Eat Your Heart Out

We’re entering the backlash-to-the-backlash stage! With spoilsport Sam Sifton out as The New York Times’s restaurant critic, it’s safe again for New Yorkers to block out a few hours of each Saturday for that boozy, hollandaise-slathered bacchanal we call brunch. And summer’s over, bros—no more Hamptons action, we’re doing this in Manhattan. Of course, you can hop on down to any of your neighborhood spots, but why not go all out? The meatpacking district might just be the big-budget brunch capital of the world, with more places than anywhere else to wash down waffles with mimosas. Hit up steakhouse-gone-wild STK for what must be a, um, meaty experience. Or there’s the classic Day & Night brunch bash, which has settled down at Buddha Bar. And for those who don’t want the fun to stop, Dream Downtown has started throwing “After Brunch” parties too. Lavo’s Bikini Brunch parties are so last spring, man.

Boozy, boozy brunch, various locations in the meatpacking district, 10:00 a.m.—late.

Sunday, October 2

Cash Rules Everything Around Me

Too much city living getting you down? Take a spin off the island and up to Greenwich, where Roseanne Cash, the Man in Black’s Twitter-loving daughter, will perform at the Annual Garden Party, a luncheon benefiting Family ReEntry, a mentoring program that helps the formerly incarcerated and their families get back on their feet. Lunch will be served, as well as some refreshments. And in keeping with the all-in-the-family theme, Ms. Cash’s husband, John Leventhal, will be in attendance as well. Bring your mom, or something!

Family ReEntry Presents Music in the Garden at BYDALE, John Street at Richmond Hill Road, Greenwich, Conn., doors open at noon, valet parking available; call 203-838-0496, extension 100, for tickets, $200, $300, $500.

Monday, October 3

Krazy for Korea

The Joseon Dynasty ruled Korea from 1392 until 1910—quite the reign, if we do say so ourselves. Who knew, right? Anyway, to celebrate the elaborate dresses worn during this (rather lengthy) period, the Metropolitan Museum of Art is hosting “The King of Joseon in New York,” a gala that supports the United Nations’ Global Strategy for Women’s and Children’s Health. There will be cocktails, dinner and a performance of the King’s March, an elaborate dance characteristic of the regime. U.N. Secretary General Ban Ki-moon will be there, as will Richard Gere, for some reason. (Sounds like the kind of thing he would have brought Julia Roberts to in a certain ’90s movie!)

The King of Joseon in New York, The Metropolitan Museum of Art, 6:00 p.m. until late; go to www.the kingofjoseoninnewyork.com for tickets and more information.

Tuesday, October 4

Picture Perfect

Tired of all the endless partying? (As if.) Call up a friend, or a girl you think you might be interested in, and take her to see Peter Bogdanovich’s masterpiece, The Last Picture Show. It’s playing at the Film Forum for just a few days, and we can’t imagine a better flick to catch as the city slurps up the last dregs of summer. If you haven’t seen it, the movie is a classic of 1970s cinema. Based on the Larry McMurtry book of the same name, it is a sexually frank look at teenagers growing up in a sleepy Texas town. Shot in beautiful black and white, the film features the very young Jeff Bridges and a gamine Cybill Shepard, both of whom have never been better. (Not to mention a phenomenal performance by Cloris Leachman.) Believe us when we tell you: this surely beats a 10:10 showing of Real Steel.

The Last Picture Show, The Film Forum, 209 West Houston Street; screenings at 2:00, 4:30, 7:00, 9:30.

Wednesday, October 5

Studio System

It’ll be a while before the Whitney opens its new downtown digs, but, hey, why not keep having parties anyway! Just a few months after Amar’e Stoudemire threw down for the Groundbreakers party, the museum is at it again, this time with its Studio Party. The spectacle will take over Pier 57 and is hosted by a number of dignitaries from the worlds of art, fashion and cinema: Amanda Hearst, Miranda Kerr, Karolina Kurkova, Nate Lowman, Michelle Monaghan, Naomi Watts ... you know the drill. So starving artist types: put down brushes and step away from the easel, it’s time to let loose a little bit.

The 2011 Whitney Studio Party, Hudson River Park, Pier 57, 9:30 p.m.; invite only.