Jon Hamm with a mustache. (YouTube)

— Mindy Kaling was spotted pleading with John Mayer to give his expert opinion on her love life at Koi in the Trump SoHo. We can only speculate that his answer involved calling her genitals racist.

— Jon Hamm plays Aimee Mann's director in her new music video for Labrador:
http://youtu.be/XA1cX-wgMdM

— A bevy of musical greats made a show last night in memorial of Broadway composer Marvin Hamlisch. Barbra Streisand, Liza Minnelli, Aretha Franklin and Itzhak Perlman performed for VIPs including Mike Nichols, Nancy Pelosi, Regis Philbin, Susan Lucci, Sarah Jessica Parker, Alan Cumming, Sheldon Harnick, Mary Rodgers and Paul Shaffer.

— Eva Longoria and Mark Sanchez were spotted holding hands while leaving a romantic dinner at Daniel. You know, if you care about that kind of thing.

— And in chair-related news, Clint Eastwood feels bad about making fun of the president, and calls himself a Libertarian. Also he has no respect for tables.
http://youtu.be/7mIC8Nw7LqI

Here are our picks for the very most of this month’s Elle, Lucky, Glamour, InStyle, Harper’s Bazaar and Marie Claire. (Vogue, as usual, will arrive fashionably late.)

Best Cover: A purple-hair-era Katy Perry on Elle takes the prize, if only for the very au courant nail art. (She still manages to squeeze her “Jesus” tattoo into the shot, though.) Given that the culture at large spends September shaking sand out of its beach tote, very few of this month’s cover stars—Jennifer Lopez, InStyle? Still?—have an imminent project to promote. (And Victoria Beckham, in a bubble bath on Glamour, isn’t even wearing clothes.)

Most Nostalgic: Harper’s Bazaar, in a cover line, advises readers to “Think Pink!”—a line from Funny Face, the movie based on Diana Vreeland and Richard Avedon’s time at Bazaar. (Cover girl Gwen Stefani, you’re great, but you’re no Audrey Hepburn.) Ms. Vreeland’s time at the magazine is elucidated in a piece that uses the word “Vogue” zero times. (Some anti-Vogue rancor is discernible at Glenda Bailey’s magazine: Another former Voguette, ousted French editrix Carine Roitfeld, gets a glowing profile in Bazaar.)

Best Editor’s Letter, Lede Division: “Naomi Wolf wants you to feel good. Really good,” writes Roberta Myers in Elle. (The feminist firebrand is profiled there and has a piece in Bazaar on dating.)

Best Editor’s Letter, Unintentional Revelations Division: Joanna Coles describes regretfully turning down her dream job as a journalist covering Parliament in the Marie Claire supplement @Work, which features Chelsea Handler on the cover.

Most Unlikely Suggestion: In her capacity as Glamour guest editor, Ms. Beckham writes that she suggested some future cover subjects from the indie-film universe: “Chloe Moretz, Clémence Poésy, Bella Heathcote ...” Maybe if Jessica Simpson falls ill!

Least Fortuitous Timing, Celebrity Division: Kristen Stewart, interviewed pre-cheating-scandal by InStyle. On Cartier’s Juste un Clou bracelet: “It reminds me of the person who gave it to me.” She wanted, and likely still wants, to go on a “very secluded” Mexican vacation.

Least Fortuitous Timing, Cinema Division: Both Elle and InStyle feature sneak peeks at what would have been this winter’s biggest movie, The Great Gatsby. After the magazines went to press, Gatsby was delayed until summer 2013.

Best Logroll: Marie Claire’s nine-page package on Project Runway, a show that features the magazine’s fashion director Nina Garcia. Before suggesting Runway-inflected trips to Parsons and Burger Joint, the author notes, “Sex and the City isn’t the only show that boasts the Big Apple as a main character.” Sure isn’t!

Best Advertising Opportunity: Justin Bieber’s perfume sponsored some of Lucky’s stickers (used to point out must-buy items—like Pinterest, but monthly!), as did uplifting toiletry brand Dove. Thanks to the good folks at Unilever, you can label Eva Longoria’s shorts “brave,” “graceful” or “STRENGTH.” [sic.]

Best Homage to Something Else Popular: Glamour informs us: “Hey, it’s okay ... to own 50 shades of gray ... cashmere sweaters.” Meanwhile, Elle titles its Katy Perry profile “Girl on Fire,” a reference to The Hunger Games, while Miley Cyrus is now getting magazine cover profiles solely in her capacity as Liam Hemsworth’s fiancée, also a nod to The Hunger Games. (Jennifer Lawrence clearly wasn’t available.)

Most Ubiquitous: Who knew Lana Del Rey was such a trendsetter? She gets a full-page spread, “Let’s All Look Like Lana!,” in Glamour (looking like Lana means having long hair) and is cited as a nail-care icon in Elle. Meanwhile, Solange Knowles, noted sister of Beyoncé, gets a photo shoot of her house in Elle and a two-page spread on her style evolution in Glamour.

Biggest Vitamin-Related Exclusive: “I wake up at 7 a.m., I shower, shave, eat breakfast, and have a double espresso, a cigarette, vitamins,” Marc Jacobs tells Marie Claire. “I wake up, have a double espresso and a cigarette, then I shower,” Mr. Jacobs tells Glamour.

Biggest Web-to-Print Leap: Fashion blogger Bryanboy, citing Carly Rae Jepsen in Glamour, a magazine that elsewhere features the “Shit Girls Say” video stars and the “Man Repeller” blogger.

Biggest Print-to-Web Synergy: InStyle has enlisted Katie Couric and Tommy Hilfiger as celebrity “Pinners” for their Pinterest pages; Mr. Hilfiger notes he is inspired by “classic autumnal colors.”

Biggest Print-to-Book-to-Print Leap: Elizabeth Wurtzel, for Harper’s Bazaar: “I want everyone to try as hard as I do to please be gorgeous, because it’s not that hard, girls. Looking great is a matter of feminism.”

Most Horrifying, Unsurprising Revelation: Lucky’s oral history of Guess reveals that Paris Hilton keeps a blow-up of her early-2000s jeans ad next to her bed.

Most Compelling Subhed: “Guest editor Victoria Beckham’s dear friend and go-to hair guy, Ken Paves, is on a mission to help at-risk women. Love that.”

Best Use of Profile-Speak: Miley Cyrus, per Marie Claire, is “a 19-year-old firecracker with washboard abs, a smoky laugh, and a filthy mouth.” Elsewhere her voice is described as “tangy and redolent of her native Nashville.”

Most Disconnected From Readers’ Reality: “Everyone I know with taste gets plates from Heath Ceramics,” says Jessica de Ruiter, stylist, in Lucky. “They use them at Axe.” (It’s pronounced “a-shay.”)

Biggest Indications Fashion Magazine Readers Aren’t In It For the Fashion: When asked, an Elle reader notes her biggest wish is not the Bottega Veneta dress Ms. Perry wears on the cover but “my mother’s love and my father’s approval”; a Glamour reader poll yields favorite designers including “anything Jennifer Aniston wears” and Old Navy.

Clinton made no reference to the power failure and normal service was duly restored in time for her to launch her newly-sharpened attacks on Barack Obama.

Using the same concept as her controversial ‘telephone’ TV ad, Clinton asserted, “When the phone rings at 3 a.m. in the White House, there isn’t a time for speeches, there is no time for on-the-job training. You need someone with the strength and experience to make a decision.”

Though Clinton’s ad had only been launched yesterday morning, Obama’s team had a response on the air before the day’s end. Clinton then used last night’s speech to fire back at the Obama ad, in yet another sign of the breakneck, desperate speed at which the campaign is being conducted in these final days before Texas, Ohio, Rhode Island and Vermont go to the polls.

Claiming that Obama had “just put up an ad touting his policy about Afghanistan”—a technically accurate though debatable characterization of the Obama spot—Clinton went on to lambaste her rival for alleged inattentiveness to his duties as chair of a Senate subcommittee that deals with Nato matters.

“He didn’t hold one substantive meeting to try to figure out what else we needed to be doing to win in Afghanistan,” Clinton stated. “As he said, he was too busy running for president.”

As the crowd jeered Obama, Clinton added, “Well, I believe winning the war in Afghanistan is the most important challenge we face, and I will take it on and be successful when I am the president of the United States.”

Though Clinton’s speech was awash in standard stump phrases – “Are you ready for change in America?” and suchlike – her underlying theme seemed once again to be her capacity to deliver results.

“I am not just offering speeches,” she said, “I’m offering 21st century solutions.”

She also sought yet again to portray Obama’s health care plan as less complete than hers, once again, in starkly emotive terms.

She first spoke about last night’s rally in Houston, after which, she said, a young girl of about 10 passed out while waiting with her mother to greet Clinton. Though the girl seemed fine afterward, Clinton said she suggested the mother should have her daughter’s health checked—only to be met with the mother’s confession that she did not have health insurance.

Clinton used the anecdote—just as she had used a much more somber story at the Houston rally itself—as the hook for an attack on Obama’s proposals.

“He does not have a plan that would cover every person,” she insisted. “I think that’s a mistake because who would you leave out? [To] which of the people in this crowd would you say, ‘We’re sorry, we’re not going to give you health insurance’?

“I am not running for president to put band aids on our problems,” Clinton continued. “I’m running for president to solve our problems.”

Clinton famously accused Obama of plagiarism at a CNN debate almost two weeks ago. But the former First Lady has also proven adept at appropriating at least the general gist of Obama’s remarks for her own purposes. That tendency continued last night when Clinton said to the audience toward the end of her speech, “If you stand with me over the next four days, I promise you I will stand up for you every single day”. She closed with the line: “Starting on Tuesday, we will take our country back and we will change the world.”

Obama customarily asks his audiences to “stand with” him as election days approach, and for several weeks at least he has been using an almost identical closing line to the one deployed by Clinton last night.

The ongoing battle over language was evident even before Clinton arrived here, when the crowd heard from Dolores Huerta, who co-founded the National Farm Workers Association with Cesar Chavez and is credited with coining the phrase “Si, se puede.”

“That phrase means something to us,” Huerta told the heavily Hispanic audience of around 3000. “We don’t like it when they use it without earning it.”

In one of the evening’s more peculiar moments, it fell to Huerta, whose life has been dominated by hard-fought battles for civil rights, to announce the former First Lady’s most recent glamorous Hollywood endorser.

“One of our greatest stars has come out today and endorsed Hillary Clinton,” Huerta said with a flourish. “Eva Longoria is part or our team.”

Well, the Cyrus clan has done it again. Both father and daughter have taken something that should annoy and frustrate—Billy Ray’s cloying country ballad “Achy Breaky Heart” and Miley Cyrus’s saccharine, yet sassy songstress on Hannah Montana—and spun pop culture gold. (This is the sports equivalent of two brothers winning back-to-back Super Bowls. Oh, wait!) But don’t think this country star’s charm is limited to the flyover states—city gals have lapped it up, too, from Brearley to Bronx Science. It’s Hannah Manhattan!

The 3-D concert movie, Hanna Montana/Miley Cyrus: the Best of Both Worlds (no. 1), has become the highest grossing movie to share a weekend with the Super Bowl. In the city, the movie practically doubled the take of its nearest competitor, There Will Blood (no. 2), which appealed to a decidedly different demo. It averaged roughly $75,000 on four screens. Disney—the Disney Channel is the TV show’s regular home— plans to extend its original week-long engagement. Duh!

The Eye (no. 3), with femme fatale Jessica Alba, also managed decent numbers despite the Sunday distraction, outgrossing Juno (no. 4), but with a slightly poorer average. It certainly fared better than Over Her Dead Body, which didn’t crack either the national or local top ten. Maybe it could have something to do with the fact that Paul Rudd and Eva Longoria (or Lake Bell, for that matter) look as good together as Flava Flav and Bridgette Neilson. And it’s not for a lack of interest in rom coms: 27 Dresses (no. 5), in its third week, eeked out Cloverfield (no. 6), which continued its drastic slide.

And like Cloverfield—and hundreds of movies with good hooks, but no payoffs—Rambo (no. 8) slid six spots, dipping below the $10,000 watermark and sealing its fate. It’s rapid decline, while predictable, still makes one feel a little bit better about our fair city.

List of theaters: Paris, Zeigfeld, Oprheum, East 85th St., 86th St. East, 84th St., Lincoln Plaza, 62nd and Broadway, Lincoln Square, Magic Johnson, 72nd St East, Cinemas 1, 2 &3rd Ave, 64th and 2nd , Imaginasian, Manhattan Twin, First and 62nd St., Angelika Film Center, Quad, IFC Center, Film Forum, Village East, Village Seven, Cinema Village, Union Square, Essex, Battery Park 11, Sunshine, 34th Street, Empire, E-Walk, Chelsea, 19th Street East, and Kips Bay.

Manhattan Weekend Box Office: How moviegoers in the multiplexes of middle America choose to spend their ten-spot is probably a big deal in Hollywood. But here in Manhattan, the hottest movies aren't always the ones making the big bucks nationwide. Using Nielsen numbers for Manhattan theaters alone and comparing them to the performance of the national weekend box office can tell you a lot about our Blue State sensibilities. Or nothing at all! Each Monday afternoon, we will bring you the results.