via Facebook

Ethan Cyr has a dream. That dream is to build a 13-foot T-Rex with Christopher Walken’s head on it. And thanks to the Internet, his dream is going to come true.

Yesterday, Humans of New York received an email from the most awesome child in the world and posted it on Facebook.

It read: “I am a sixteen year old from the lower east side of Manhattan. I am building a 13 foot T Rex with Christopher Walkens head and I was wondering if you would be willing to help me gain publicity for my project. I totally understand if this is just too weird and you don't wanna help.”

Ok, it is totally weird, but HONY did want to help. They linked to Cyr’s indiegogo page, where he asked for $750 to build the “Walken Rex,” which, by the looks of his material list, he plans to construct out of PVC piping, chicken wire and paper mache. In just over 24 hours Cyr has raised $2,285 from over 200 contributors.

via Facebook

“I was inspired to design and build this piece after watching the movie Queen of Versailles. I saw how rich those kids were, and their lack of creation with all that money. I decided if I could get that much money I would make something great. The Walken Rex was originally thought of by a friend of mine, we are not completely sure where he got the idea from, but it seemed like the perfect thing to build,” Cyr wrote on his indiegogo page.

The teen promised incentives to anyone who donates to his cause—those who give at least $5 will receive a Christopher Walken Rex cartoon. A donation of $75 gets you a cartoon of you with Walken, and for just $1,000 you get to choose the face of Cyr’s next statue. Oh, the possibilities! How about a Meryl Streep Triceratops? Or a Jack Nicholson Velociraptor?

We needed to find out more, so we did a quick Facebook search for this creative genius. We think we found Cyr, and we pray to God he’s real. In addition to his cover photo, which is a pretty badly photoshopped mock-up of the Walken Rex, Cyr has a few other weird drawings of Grim Reaper-like figures wearing colorful sweatshirts.

We’re just looking forward to seeing if Cyr actually brings this thing to life—on Facebook HONY promised to document the project if it gets funded.

So please, as Cyr wrote on indiegogo, “Tell people, tell anyone, tell everyone, tell Christopher Walken.”

Palm Beach County Jail

Remember when everyone wanted Facebook stock? When getting pre-IPO shares was a point of pride, when retail investors worried they weren't big enough fish to rate allotments from their brokerages? That friends, was an opportunity, and there are some men who answer when opportunity knocks.

John Mattera, for instance, the Floridian charged last year with scheming to bilk investors for $12.6 million by promising them the chance to own pre-IPO shares of companies inlcuding Facebook and Groupon, was such a man. At the time of his ill deeds, Mr. Mattera was the chairman of the advisory board of something called Praetorian Global Fund, which offered investors the chance to buy into something called the "G Power Entities," supposed special purpose vehicles which purported to own stock in the pre-IPO firms.

But the G Power entities didn't know own the shares, according to a statement from U.S. Attorney Preet Bharara today, and Mr. Mattera didn't safeguard investors' money. Instead, he "caused the vast majority of the funds to be transferred to other entities with which he was associated." That is, he made off with "approximately $13 million," spending nearly $4 million on luxury items for himself and family members.

Well, Mr. Mattera will face up to 20 years on each of two fraud charges, and 5 years on one count of conspiracy, when he appears for sentencing next year.

But we wonder whether the judge will consider this (from the indictment): "At least one version of the G IV agreement entitled its investors to Facebook shares held by G IV at $39 per share. Similarly, at least one version of the G V agreement entitled its investors to Groupon shares held by G V at $25 per share."

Those prices, you may notice, are well beyond where the respective companies currently trade. Groupon closed today at $4.65, Facebook at $22.27. If Mr. Mattera can raise the cash to pay restitution, his investors may be better off than if they had acquired ownership of pre-IPO shares.

That sounds like an opportunity to plead for leniency.

New York Post reporter Doug Auer allegedly became the target of police ire after he wrote a scandalous story about an illicit Labor Day BBQ on the roof of police headquarters. Apparently, nothing is as sacred to New York’s Finest as roasted meat, fire code be damned.

According to Mr. Auer, current and retired cops responded on an unofficial NYPD message board with jeers, threats and personal details (including the reporter’s home address and personal photos from his Facebook page), Gothamist reported at the time.

Mr. Auer, who said he took down his Facebook page in response, is back–and now he’s commenting on his private Facebook page. He's also threatening “atomic wedgies” to those who come after him.

“So, I had to take my account down for a while because, as a journalist, I wrote a controversial story that upset some retired NYPD cops who, in turn, issued threats against me and my family,” Mr. Auer wrote on his newly reactivated Facebook page.

“There may be more hard roads ahead, but we’ll tackle the obstacles with courage and dignity. And to those who come after us, we will mete out justice . . . with wedgies. Atomic wedgies!”

First, Nasdaq offered a $40 million compensation pool, with a healthy chunk to paid in credits on future trades.A month later, Nasdaq sweetened the pool to $62 million, with all claims to be paid in cash.

Not good enough for UBS, which said it would “take appropriate legal action against Nasdaq to address its gross mishandling of the offering and its substantial failures to perform its duties,” i.e. the Swiss bank would sue the exchange over every penny of the $356 million it said it lost on the IPO. Not good enough for Citigroup either: "hundreds of millions of dollars of losses suffered by market participants in connection with the Facebook IPO resulted from a series of a series of hasty, self-interested and high-risk business decisions by Nasdaq," it said in a letter of its own.

And so it seemed reasonable to wonder whether Nasdaq would improve its compensation scheme yet again. Not this time, according to Reuters:

Nasdaq OMX Group Inc stood by its proposed $62 million plan to compensate firms affected by the fallout from Facebook's botched initial public offering, taking aim at UBS AG, Citigroup Inc and other parties that derided the payback plan. In a letter to the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission dated September 17, Nasdaq said the proposed compensation pool "goes well beyond what is required under current Nasdaq rules." 

Bradley Birkenfeld, the former UBS banker who provided the Internal Revenue Service with evidence that the Swiss bank was helping U.S. citizens evade taxes, will receive $104 million in a whistleblower award. Mr. Birkenfeld, who said he once concealed diamonds in a toothpaste tube on behalf of a client, was released from prison on Aug. 1 after serving part of a 40-month sentence after confessing that he had forgotten to blow the whistle on himself.

Deutsche Bank is lagging behind its European peers when it comes to meeting new regulatory capital requirements, according to Bloomberg. The bank may cut jobs and reduce pay ratios under a restructuring plan announced this week.

A German court paved the way for the European Central Bank to begin a new program to buy sovereign debt, dismissing a lawsuit that sought to delay the plan.

Two-thirds of economists polled by Bloomberg think that the Federal Reserve will announce a new round of bond purchases tomorrow.

More details in the plea agreement signed by Peregrine Financial Group founder Russell Wasendorf Sr., who faces up to 50 years in prison under a deal with prosecutors.

Zuck spoke; Facebook shares rose.

Plaintiffs say that private equity firms including KKR, Silver Lake Partners and Bain Capital colluded to tamp down prices on buyout deals, according to a complaint filed in Massachusetts Federal District Court. The New York Times went to court to get the documents, which Bain lawyers worried would get washed into the election news cycle.

No one in France believes Bernard Arnault, the Louis Vuitton chief and the country's richest man, when he says he'll keep paying taxes in France once he's received Belgian nationality, according to The Financial Times. French president François Hollande has promised to tax income above 1 million euros at 75 percent.

LightSquared, the wireless broadband company backed by Harbinger Capital founder Phil Falcone, is battling with creditors over control of the firm's bankruptcy, according to Bloomberg. LightSquared has asked a judge to extend a deadline to file a Chapter 11 plan; the creditors say, "Having nothing to lose, Mr. Falcone wants to pursue a high-risk, high-return strategy."

Facebook shares may get a bump when the stock is added to the Nasdaq 100, an index of the exchange's non-financial firms. It may not be enough to make up for Nasdaq's botched handling of the Facebook IPO, but every little bit helps...

Commodities giant Glencore upped its offer for Xstrata, the mining company, in hopes of completing a long-anticipated merger. It remains to be seen whether Qatar Holding, the sovereign wealth fund of the Middle Eastern nation, which holds a 12 percent stake in Xstrata, sign off on the new deal. Qatar's hesitance lead Business Insider to wonder if we are seeing the rise of a new kind of activist investor.

The head of the JPMorgan's chief investment office hopes his new gig is a "boring job.

After Dewey & Laboeuf folded, the law firm's softball team lived on.

A predecessor to SunTrust Banks invested in Coca-Cola in 1919, according to Bloomberg. What was worth $100,000 then is worth more than $2 billion now, and the firm is cashing most of the shares to cover bad loans and other costs associated with the financial crisis.

On Goldman Sachs, Morgan Stanley and Wall Street's courtship of fixed-income investors (now with conference calls!).

Sub-par returns from brand-name private equity firms are dragging on public-employee pension funds.

French President Francoise Hollande is said to be backing down on a proposed 75 percent tax on million-euro wage earners. A revised plan would reportedly lower the top tax rate to 67 percent, and raise the threshold for couples to 2 million euros.

The board of the American Banking Association will vote tomorrow on a plan to create a nonprofit to donate to super-PACs and funnel funds into Senate races, according to Bloomberg. The funds could be used to support candidates who favor the repeal of the Dodd-Frank Wall Street Reform and Consumer Protection Act.

Business activity in the euro zone slowed at a faster rate in August, data show, in what The Wall Street Journal describes as one of the strongest signs yet that the region is heading into recession.

Also from The Journal, on the new math in Spain's education system: “We are mortgaging the future of generations of youth that now more than ever need education,” José Campos Trujillo, the secretary-general of the teacher federation of Spain’s largest union, wrote recently. “All the supposed savings in education are going to delay our exit from this crisis.”

The U.S. slipped to seventh place in the World Economic Forum's Global Competitiveness Index.

Residential Capital, the mortgage unit of government-owned Ally Financial, will unload assets at auction next month as part of the home-lender's Chapter 11 process. Fortress Investment Group and Warren Buffett's Berkshire Hathaway are among the expected bidders.

Dutch financial firm ING Group plans to sell its stake in Capital One in a deal that may be worth $3 billion, The New York Times reports. ING acquired its 9 percent stake in the lender when Capital One bought ING's U.S. unit in February.

Deutsche Bank is said to cut 85 equities positions in Honk Kong and Tokyo, Bloomberg reports.

In spite of the billions in recent trading losses, JPMorganremains the best investment bank to work for, according to 3,500 executives surveyed by Vault.com.

Andrew Ross Sorkin says the Facebook executive most responsible for the company's failed initial public offering has largely escaped blame.

A former partner at Dewey & LaBoeuf is suing Citigroup, charging that the lender helped hide the law firm's financial problems.

An Argentinean judge issues an arrest warrant for Credit Suisse exec David Mulford, who's wanted for failing to testify in a probe of the country's 2001 debt default.

Multinationals such as American Express and Spanish bank BBVA are dabbling in venture capital, according to The Times.

Jim Cramer gets better ratings when Mad Money re-airs at 3 a.m. The Post figures drunken traders may be the target audience.

European Central Bank President Mario Draghi, speaking at a closed session of the E.U. parliament, suggested that central bank may start buying government debt maturing inside of three years.

Spain's bank bailout fund will inject $5.7 billion in Bankia.

The French government stepped in to bail out Paris-based Credit Immobilier de France over the weekend; now it says the deal can work without costing the taxpayer.

U.S. firms are planning for a Grexit, according to The Times: "Bank of America Merrill Lynch has looked into filling trucks with cash and sending them over the Greek border so clients can continue to pay local employees and suppliers in the event money is unavailable."

Sarah Palin won't get to talk about John McCain tonight. (Facebook)

Well, at least she can't claim it was a liberal news bias this time: Fox News contributor Sarah Palin took to Facebook today to kvetch about being bumped from the interviews (plural?) she was slated to give tonight about her BFF, John McCain. Whose birthday it is, apparently.


Okay, let's be honest: it is weird that Sarah Palin isn't going to be on Fox tonight, seeing as it's Paul Ryan's speaking engagement at the RNC. The former VP candidate weighing in on the next conservative to run for the spot?

Either way, one thing we do know is that it's not a good idea to send pouty little messages like that out on Facebook. We expect this to blow up in five ... four ... three ...

Mutual funds run by Morgan Stanley are showing hefty stakes in Facebook, The Wall Street Journal reports, and while many of those shares were acquired pre-IPO, allowing the funds to show paper gains despite Facebook's fallen stock price, investors in the funds are at risk of further Facebook losses.

HSBC is talking settlement with U.S. regulators over charges the bank violated sanctions against Iran and Sudan among other nations. The bank set aside $700 million for the matter in July.

Bank of America's four new directors are typical bank-director types, Bloomberg reports, perhaps indicating that BofA thinks it's on the right path, definitely indicating that the train has left the station on our dream of shaking up the North Carolina-based bank from inside the boardroom.

Citigroup's private banking unit withdrew $410 million from John Paulson managed hedge funds, a lot of money, no doubt, but as sharper wits than ours have pointed out, so long as Mr. Paulson himself doesn't send a redemption letter to a certain hedge fund located at 1251 Avenue of the Americas, Paulson & Co. should be okay.

SEC Chairman Mary L. Schapiro through down her arms in the effort to rein in systemic risk posed by money-market funds. The Times says the Treasury might take up more powerful weapons.

The case of Vietnamese banker Ly Xuan Hai shows once again that it's safer to be a crooked banker in the west than the east.

A top German politician said that the Greek bailout plan can't be renegotiated. Though history tells us there can't be a renegotiation until in fact there is. Elsewhere, is Finland the forgotten frontier in a potential eurozone breakup?