The suddenly fast-moving Terrence Malick, whose long unproductive period ended with last year’s The Tree of Life, has already completed his next film, called To the Wonder. But the creative process doesn’t always run smoothly:
“Get with the program!” scolds another letter from a brainwashed fan of the Batman-as-seen-through-the-pretentiousness-of-the-Christopher-Nolan trilogy, “You are a dinosaur!” He’s probably right, and I probably would—if I could only make one lick of sense out of what this nonsense is all about. Silly pop-culture comic book cinema about grown men in rubber masks and Styrofoam jock straps is bad enough, but incomprehensible gibberish to boot is just plain unacceptable. Halfheartedly, I give The Dark Knight Rises—the third and final Batflick in the Nolan trilogy—one star for eardrum-busting sound effects and glaucoma-inducing computerized images in blinding Imax, but talk about stretching things. That’s all most immature audiences require for their hard-earned money these days. The rest of it should not be reviewed by anyone over the age of 12.
As caped crusaders go, I prefer Superman, Spider Man and, above all, Captain Marvel, who has been criminally ignored by the movies so far. (Can’t you just see Michael Fassbender staring into the camera hissing “Shazam!”?) And as Batman goes, I had a lot more fun when he was fighting off Catwoman and The Joker at the Saturday afternoon double features of my youth in his campy bat cave with his jailbait roommate Robin. Drat! Christopher Nolan sent Bruce Wayne to a shrink and Batman lost his mojo. I like one caption writer’s description of the Batman epics as “car porn for geeks and gearheads.” But that doesn’t make The Dark Knight Rises any better. Trash is trash, but when it costs an estimated $250 million (bat food compared to The Amazing Spider-Man’s $137 million), the charges turn criminal and someone should subject the garbage man to a citizen’s arrest.
Hey, it’s no Christopher Walken’s “Poker Face,” or John Malkovich’s ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas. It’s not even John Lithgow’s “Newt Gingrich press release.”
But since we weren’t even aware that R. Kelly had a biography, let alone one called Soula Coaster (what?), and the fact that we’d watch Gary Oldman read the phone book as long as it served as a reminder that in nine days he will be Commissioner Gordon for the final time, this Jimmy Kimmel Live clip is must-see TV.
While the Met was swarmed by A-listers Monday night, we only heard news about Beyonce‘s dress this morning. Upstaged by the attendance of Tim Tebow, these celebrities dispersed to three locations the Met in order to fully dance away the pain: the Ukrainian Institute of America, the Boom Boom Room, and Crown all hosted parties that were hit up by roaming models, actors, and musicians.
Fashion Week Observed
As we quietly chanted a self-affirming (however desperate) “you can do this” to ourselves while rocking back and forth in the fetal position, The Observer’s phone lit up with a surprise last minute invite to something a little off the beaten path: A two-hour reserved-seating Q&A session with screen legend Gary Oldman. The invite washed over us like an awesome wave.
This morning, thousands upon tens of New Yorkers are realizing they have to go see Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, as that film was announced as one of nine Oscar Best Picture nominees.
Big surprises of the morning included that film’s nomination for Best Picture, the inclusion of Best Actor nominees Demian Bichir and Gary Read More
The Book of Eli
Running time 118 minutes
Written by Gary Whitta
Directed by Albert and Allen Hughes
Starring Denzel Washington,
Gary Oldman, Mila Kunis
Until the final 15 minutes of the apocalyptic sci-fi thriller The Book of Eli, when so many weird circumstances and unexplained narrative arcs come together Read More
Attending the premiere of Warner Brothers’ Batman: The Dark Knight at AMC Loews Lincoln Square on Monday, July 14: the film’s stars Christian Bale, Maggie Gyllenhaal (wearing charcoal Dries Van Noten splashed with flowers and accompanied by husband Peter Sarsgaard), Morgan Freeman, Gary Oldman and Aaron Eckhart; actors Ethan Hawke, Edie Falco, Josh Hartnett, Seth Read More
THE DARK KNIGHT
RUNNING TIME 152 minutes
WRITTEN BY Christopher and Jonathan Nolan
DIRECTED BY Christopher Nolan
STARRING Christian Bale, Heath Ledger, Aaron Eckhart, Michael Caine, Gary Oldman, Morgan Freeman, Maggie Gyllenhaal
Some folks take metaphysical pleasure from the New Batman Philosophy According to Christopher Nolan: Read More
Did anyone else find this week’s “Look Book” subject in New York, Chad Curry, a tad familiar? Well, not familiar, exactly, but, at least, uncannily memory-jogging? Those goth duds, the toy-bin specs and his quotes! (“I’m multifaceted. And then I also work at Jeffrey in their women’s designer section. I’m in a space Read More