Not much of a downgrade.

When The Epoch Times reviewed celebrity chef Michael Symon's new Greek restaurant in the Flatiron District, Parea, in 2006, it wrote that it "might improve after Mr. Symon gets more experience in the New York restaurant world." Parea shut down the next year and Mr. Symon has refocused his efforts on the Midwest and his hometown of Columbus, Ohio (he once described his cuisine as "meat-centric"), but he's still taking The Epoch Times' advice to heart: he's staying in New York.

Mr. Symon and his wife Elizabeth just picked up a full-floor unit at 316 East 22nd Street, a boutique loft building built by David Howell Design. The six-unit building went up around the time the market crashed, and the Symons' sixth-floor unit (which is not actually the penthouse) is the first to be resold. The sellers, Neil Barve and Davray Aditi, picked up the pad in 2010 for around $2.24 million, and resold it to the Symons for $2.75 million—a tidy profit for not even three years of ownership.

The Symons could be moving from their penthouse at 210 Lafayette Street, a building styled as One Kenmare Square (nevermind that there is no "Kenmare Square" in Manhattan), designed by Richard Gluckman and developed by hotelier André Balazs. They picked up their SoHo digs for just over $3 million last year, and are asking $3.5 million for it. So far, they've gotten two offers above that price. Not bad for a condo they've only owned for a year!

Though their latest buy is cheaper than their SoHo penthouse and isn't quite in prime Gramercy territory, it isn't much of a downgrade. The 40-foot-wide condo features 1,777 square feet of space, and also boasts a private parking garage. And while the building doesn't have the same pedigree as their SoHo pad, it must be well-designed, because architect David Howell told The Observer that he in fact lives in the building. So if there are any leaks, the Symons will know who to call!

Alas, it appears that such delusional optimism does not extend to supermodels' apartments. At least, Coca Rocha had one hell of a time offloading her two-bedroom Gramercy condo at 121 East 23rd Street, which finally sold for $1.51 million, according to city records.

After initially putting the property on the market in August 2010 in hopes of moving to Brooklyn, Ms. Rocha and husband James Conran got so sick of the constant showings that they decided to take a breather last summer. Brooklyn may have been their dream borough, but who could dream with buyers constantly tromping through one's apartment?

“We took it off the market just because we had so many showings, and we got tired of tidying up and getting out of the house,” Mr. Conran told New York Magazine.

The ninth-floor apartment, listed with Heddings Property broker Kristine Hurd was most recently asking $1.55, although Ms. Rocha, eager to leave, was apparently willing to settle for slightly less than the $1.52 million she paid for it back in 2008. The buyers were Mark Jerz and Brad Gianiny.

Indeed, for reasons that remain unclear, the apartment was such a tough sell that not even a photo shoot in Vogue and being featured on the lifestyle blog ByrneNotice (publicity that most brokers can only dream about!) did not lure buyers. The Canadian beauty's pad certainly looks lovely on camera. Besides lots of custom closets, the condo boasts a spa shower and ultra deep soaking tub (perfect for relaxing after a long day on the runway), a Murphy bed in the second bedroom for use as an office/guest room, a balcony and a large terrace.

Too bad the sale will probably leave Ms. Rocha smiling for the next few days—a career liability in the world of high fashion. Really, it's almost as bad as eating enough food so that you don't look like you're starving to death.

kvelsey@observer.com

At least, the Academy Award-winning screenwriter and Pulitzer Prize-winning playwright was taken enough with the three-bedroom pad at 144 North 8th Street to pay $1.85 million for the privilege of being its first inhabitant, according to city records. Mr. Shanley paid a little more than the $1.82 million ask set by developer Gabriel Realty.

Maybe he didn't mind paying a little more? After all, he had some extra cash sitting around following the $3.1 million sale of his 3-bedroom Gramercy Park co-op at 149 East 18th Street just days before. Mr. Shanley moved into the apartment with ex-girlfriend Canadian actress Paula Devicq, in 2006. He paid, according to city property records, $505,000, to add his name to the deed. (If Mr. Shanley ever had any Doubt about the Manhattan real estate market, the experienced should have restored his faith.)

With his move to Williamsburg, Mr. Shanley will enjoy a spacious, sunny space, one that looks, from the listing photos, nice but bland. The listing, from Corcoran brokers Stefanie Barlow, Deborah Rieders and Sarah Shuken, is itself a generic one describing the standard perks of units in the buildings: black granite countertops, Sub-Zero refrigerators, "truly one-of-a-kind bathrooms" with custom hand-painted ceramic tiles, custom lighting fixtures and Robern medicine cabinets. Still, looking through pictures of Mr. Shanley's former home, we assume he'll soon be personalizing the space. Unless the interiors were all Ms. Devicq's doing.

With the move, the Bronx-born Mr. Shanley can now tick another borough off the list. Although we doubt he'll be house hunting  in Staten Island anytime soon.

kvelsey@observer.com

Must have curtains

The duplex penthouse at 57 Irving Place—the last of 9 condos in the building do so— has hit the market for a lofty $18 million.

All of the other units in the Gramercy Park development, including the $18 million triplex townhouse, have already been sold, Curbed reported in March. The duplex penthouse was poised to hit market (it's now listed with Corcoran Sunshine marketing group and broker Marie-Claire Gladstone) when the building was finished. It looks like eager buyers will soon know what it's like to reside behind"a living glass façade" with protruding, motorized windows?

The Audrey Matlock-designed building also provides membership into one of the city's few private parks, the coveted Gramercy Park. Not that you'll want for outdoor space in the duplex penthouse, as there's a 500-square-foot terrace spanning the 5o-foot great room, and floor-to-ceiling glass throughout the "entertaining level," allowing "light and air to flow throughout the entire open-planned layout." In the event that the air is not fresh enough, there's also a 24/7 tempered fresh air supply system.

The entertaining level and the living area with 5-bedrooms (the master suite has a private terrace, of course) are connected by a dramatic staircase. The master bathroom has a 5-fixture master bath, a personal steam room, a free-standing soaking tub and a spa shower for two (not ones for simplicity, the developers left no bathing apparatus uninstalled). Alas, no listing photos accompany this dramatic descriptions (Maybe there was too much construction dust covering the place?). The kitchen and dining room descriptions read like a who's who of expensive brands: there's Gaggenau, Thermador, Miele, Viking, Dornbracht, Duravit and Kohler.

And this high-end apartment neglects no small detail. Last but not least, you can dump your trash in a "private rubbish shoot!"

kvelsey@observer.com

340 East 23rd Street (StreetEasy)

While the Museum of Mathematics isn't slated to open shop until next year, the museum's president has procured a roost not far from his future office.

Glen Whitney, who set out to create the United States' first math-based museum three years ago, has bought a condo at 340 East 23rd Street. His new home is precisely 0.7 miles (or 3696 feet) from the museum's future site on the northern border of Madison Square Park.

Even humanities majors can see that the the three-bedroom, 2.5-bath home is nicely proportioned. With two terraces and three walk-in-closets, all 1,730-square-feet of this condo are acutely desirable. The apartment also features some ideal angles on the city, with both northern and southern exposures, Douglas Elliman broker Jessica Levine told The Observer.

Not to mention the price. Originally listed last February for $2.6 million, Mr. Whitney ultimately paid just $2.1 million for the place. "I think the numbers and the math made sense for the apartment," Ms. Levine explained.

The sellers, Kirk Chapman and Elena Megaro are cipher-philes as well. Ms. Levine explained that they used the condo's office space as a math/science room for their daughter.

Also known as Gramercy by Starck, 340 East 23rd Street was one of a flood of new condo buildings to flood the Middle East Side during the condo boom, with its straight-out-of-Miami aesthetic. Perhaps Mr. Whitney likes the smooth geometry of the facade.

eknutsen@observer.com

The property's 2,500 square feet of space includes two bedrooms and 2.5 bathrooms wrapped up in a townhouse package. The bedrooms and a home office are located upstairs, with the downstairs housing an "enormous" living, dining and entertainment space.

And did we mention there are two private roof decks? Yeah, there are two private roof decks.

SLIDESHOW: Live in the Home of the Week >>

Step into the Gramercy Park Hotel, head for the private elevator, and jet up 16 floors to Ian Schrager’s new playground, the Private Roof Club and Garden. First, though, book a room or know (or be) somebody: The warren of sunrooms and bars is restricted to overnight guests and high-priced private parties.

If you get in, mellow out in the soft candle light amid plush furniture and a jungle of foliage that claims citrus trees, orchids and ivy among. Gaze upon original pieces by Andy Warhol and Damien Hirst; and, in one room roasted by a working fireplace, gander at a display of 1,000 light bulbs overhead.

There’s a wide view of chunks of midtown and the East Side (the Chrysler Building and the Empire State Building stand out). And there’s… well, why bother going on? You probably can’t get in. (Good luck, though.)

 
“This is not a building opening—it’s just a party,” said luxury-property propagandist Michael Shvo.      
He was standing along a black carpet runway with black velvet ropes and a big white backdrop bearing logos for the new Gramercy, a 21-story high-end apartment tower on East 23rd Street outfitted by eccentric French designer Philippe Starck. 
The building, in fact, is not yet open; it’s scheduled for completion next year. But the Third Avenue sales office officially opens Friday. “We have over 1,000 people on our wait list to get in to see the building,” Mr. Shvo said. 
      
Meanwhile, Tuesday night’s splashy promotional celebration gave an estimated 1,000-plus others a sneak peak of the planned venue’s polished chrome door knobs and quartz countertops in a sort of movie-premiere-like atmosphere—if that movie was, say, Grindhouse. 
  
Scantily clad burlesque performers mingled and danced among the packed crowd. One posed spread-eagle upon the edge of a model bathroom’s sample washtub. “We make it look good,” she said.
      
Servers in skimpy French maid outfits wielded trays of hors d’oeuvres, including mini burgers and fries; while bartenders in black berets slung blueberry-garnished rum drinks and champagne. 
  
Spinning blaring background music were celebrity DJs the MisShapes, who downplayed the potential indie-cred-killing factor of shilling for such a yuppie development. “This is an amazing fucking event,” said the MisShapes’ Leigh Lezark. “We love DJing artist parties and for fashion designers, and in the same vein are the architectural designers. Philippe Starck is one of our favorites.”
      
Multiple flickering video screens showed the visionary Mr. Starck attempting to explain the project through wild hand motions of his cherry red gloves. You couldn’t hear what he was saying on account of the thumping bass. 
  
“He’s talking about really how he designs for his tribe,” explained Mr. Shvo, whose crew flew to Paris to film Mr. Starck for the multi-media presentation. “He doesn’t try to appeal to everybody. Just to the right people.
      
“There’s no demographic that connects the people,” Mr. Shvo added, “it’s more psycho-graphic—it’s how they think, what they think about. It’s people that are young, not necessarily by age, but in their mind.” 
  
How many of those “right people” turned out Tuesday was unclear by appearance. The event attracted a mixed crowd of svelte types in suits and shiny dresses and others sporting hoodies and sneakers.
      
“The architecture and the real estate, compared to the party, is a little misleading, in terms of who’s actually gonna be buying and who’s just hanging out, having a good time and drinking for free--like me,” said party guest Christopher Ouellette, a painter dressed in a blue H&M suit, orange tie, and sneakers. 
  
Some attendees struggled to even grasp the point of the promotion. “The whole set up of this party is kind of weird,” said Mary Ann, another guest who declined to give her last name. “Is it a hotel that’s opening or a restaurant?”
    
Not that it really mattered. “As long as you have free booze, everybody’s happy,” she added.