'The Voice' wins over Super Bowl viewers

Last night's Super Bowl was super exciting, what with Madonna and the very close game between the New England Patriots and the the New York Giants. And New Yorkers were not the only ones who thought so: last night's game was the most-watched television event in TV history, beating out last year's 111 million average by an extra 300,000 viewers. (We speculate that those extra viewers were people who hate football but love Madonna, and who turned off NBC the moment Downton Abbey started.)

A giant event like the Super Bowl breaking its own record is not that unusual. A little bit stranger is the fact that the night had a second huge win for NBC when the second season premiere of The Voice became the highest rated entertainment program since 2006.

While early estimates had The Voice rated a 16.3 in the 18-49 demographic, it wasn't until later today that the final tally was in for the reality show starring Cee Lo, Adam Levine, and Christina Aguilera : 37.6 million viewers overall, the highest number of viewers since 2006's post-Super Bowl episode of Grey's Anatomy, which pulled in 16.5 in that crucial demo.

So what do these numbers tell us? Well that people between the ages of 18-49 still make up the majority of television viewers, for one. But also that it took six years for something to become more popular than Grey's Anatomy. And follow-up question: How big could the Venn Diagram of fans for the two shows actually been, that people didn't turn off their set after Seattle Seahawks lost to the Steelers? At least with Cee Lo in both the Super Bowl and The Voice, there's a common thread. But what Steelers fan just really needed to find out if Derek and Christina were able to save Bailey's husband while she was in labor?

All of them, you say? Fair enough.

Anyway, with 289 minutes to fill for the rest of the day—229 minutes if you watched The View, not that we have or anything—we thought it might be a good idea to offer a viewing guide to Thursday's overloaded evening festivities (can't the networks spread some of these shows out?). Please note: this is only possible if you have two DVR machines and a whole lot of willpower. Attempt at your own risk.

8:00 p.m. - 8:30 p.m.: Community (30 minutes total)

If done right, you won't have to watch another show live (with commercials) for the next four hours. And hey, it could be worse: not only is Community hilarious (why this is on at 8 p.m. is a mystery), but you also get to see which companies are foolish enough to actually spend their advertising dollars on NBC. Win-win.

8:30 p.m. - 9:14 p.m.: FlashForward on DVR (74 minutes total)

Normally, it takes a series a few seasons before becoming a rote obligation. Not FlashForward, which accomplished the feat in just seven episodes. Watch this while you check your e-mail (multi-tasking!) and just remember to pay attention to the cliffhangers that happen before each commercial break. They're important. Or something.

9:14 p.m. - 10:00 p.m.: The Office/30 Rock on DVR (120 minutes total)

The only downside here: you'll eventually catch up to 30 Rock and be forced to sit through promos for The Jay Leno Show. But that's a small price to pay for watching two of the best comedies on television as close as possible to when they air live. That way you don't get spoiled when you check Twitter and see all the funniest lines already posted.

10:00 p.m. - 11:28 p.m.: Grey's Anatomy/Private Practice on DVR (208 minutes total)

If you squint hard enough during these 88 minutes, you might fool yourself into thinking Kate Walsh is still on Grey's Anatomy.

11:28 p.m. - 12:12 a.m.: Fringe on DVR (252 minutes total)

Time to bust out that second DVR! Because Fox foolishly put Fringe up against Grey's Anatomy, The Office/30 Rock twofer and CSI (though, really, are you still watching that?), it is not only impossible watch Fringe on Thursday nights, but to DVR it as well. Great programming, guys! Anyway, this show is actually very good and it'll give you an added scare if you watch it during the witching hour.

12:12 a.m. - 12:34 a.m.: Parks and Recreation on DVR (274 minutes total)

We're pretty sure that at least part of the reason why the second season of Parks and Recreation is so much funnier than the first has to do with the fact that we're watching it through sleepy eyes. To be fair though, Amy Poehler and her cast of Merry Men (Aziz Ansari, Louis CK, Paul Schneider and Nick Offerman) are hilarious even when seen while fully awake.

12:34 a.m. - 12:49 a.m.: Late Night with Jimmy Fallon (289 minutes total)

As you ready for bed, you could watch Seinfeld reruns—or, heaven help you, The Jeff Dunham Show on Comedy Central—but why not give Jimmy Fallon another try. Spoiler alert: he's gotten much better since you last saw him and his contagious charm will put you in a good mood as you fall asleep.

Happy viewing!

Monday: How I Met Your Mother
Is Monday night the new Thursday night? Tonight brings the season premiere of House, a new Gossip Girl, a two-hour Heroes (yep, that show is still on the air) and the launching of the CBS Monday night comedy block, which includes the series premiere of Jenna Elfman’s Accidentally on Purpose. Phew! Us? We’ll be watching Gossip Girl at 9 p.m., natch [Ed note: But some of us will be watching House]. But before that, we’ll definitely tune in to the season premiere of How I Met Your Mother. We aren’t even sure whether to call the comedy a cult hit anymore—after all, tonight marks the start of season five—but it still feels like less people watch this than they should (this despite the fact that every person we know counts it as one of their favorites.) Come on, folks! What are you waiting for? [CBS, 8 p.m.]

Tuesday: North by Northwest
Our favorite Alfred Hitchcock film manages to be his most accessible. You know the story, but in brief: Everyman extraordinaire Cary Grant gets mistaken for a spy and away we go; cue a cross country chase that culminates on Mount Rushmore. What we’re always amazed by whenever we watch North by Northwest is how it manages to be so thoroughly modern. Whereas some old movies don’t hold up, this one feels like it could be released today and become a huge hit. [TCM, 8 p.m.]

Wednesday: Mercy
Apparently 2009 is the Year of the Nurse. Who knew? We have yet to see Mercy, but from the promos it feels like the new series will to slot itself somewhere in between the darkness of Nurse Jackie and the treacle of HawthoRNe. Nurse Veronica Callahan (Taylor Schilling) has just returned from a tour of duty in Iraq and—wouldn’t you know it—she’s the only person at Mercy Hospital that actually knows what they’re doing! We can’t say we’re all that interested in Mercy, but that it features Michelle Trachtenberg—as the naïve young nurse—makes us take notice. Still, truth be told, we hope Mercy gets canceled, just so Ms. Trachtenberg can become a full-time cast member on Gossip Girl before the year is out. Georgina Sparks forever! [NBC, 8 p.m.]

Thursday: Grey’s Anatomy
Speaking of bad doctor soap operas: Grey’s Anatomy is back! The show you love to hate returns with a two-hour season premiere that will feature the official death of George O’Malley (T.R. Knight, probably happy for the first time in three years) and the recovery of Izzie Stevens (Katherine Heigl, probably still hating every second she has to spend working on Grey’s). With Ellen Pompeo pregnant, and, Ms. Heigl and Patrick Dempsey taking off for episodes at a time to star in movies, expect this season to be a transitional one. Whether Grey’s can become the next ER—forever regenerating its sprawling cast—rests solely on what happens this year. [ABC, 9 p.m.]

Friday: Gangs of New York
The most disappointing news of the fall? That Paramount shifted the Martin Scorsese-Leonardo DiCaprio thriller Shutter Island from its October release date to February. Boo! Now where are we supposed to get our Scorsese/DiCaprio fix? We’ll just have to settle for Gangs of New York instead, which isn’t as good as The Departed and isn’t as bad as The Aviator in the Scorsese/DiCaprio oeuvre. Them aside, the real star here is Daniel Day-Lewis (would you expect anything less?). As the villain, aptly named Bill the Butcher, Mr. Day-Lewis does Daniel Plainview-before-Daniel Plainview, stomping and chomping scenery like a Method Godzilla; he’s brilliant, even if the movie never actually reaches that height. [IFC, 2:45 a.m.]

When you’re perusing the 61st Emmy nominations on Thursday (the announcements begin at 8:30 a.m. EST), don’t be shocked if it all feels so very 2008; both 30 Rock and Mad Men appear poised to once again pace the field with the most nominations (last year they lead the way with 17 and 16, respectively). Don’t get us wrong: As fans of both shows, we’re more than fine with all the Emmy love, but that doesn’t mean they’re our only favorites. If we had a ballot, here are three names we’d place at the top of the list.

Best Supporting Actor, Drama: Justin Chambers, Grey’s Anatomy

Poor Justin Chambers. His category is awash in talent, ranging from the gents of Mad Men (Vincent Kartheiser and John Slattery) to the boys of Lost (the inimitable Michael Emerson, Jeremy Davies and Josh Holloway) to even Mr. Chambers’s co-star on Grey’s Anatomy, Patrick Dempsey (he has Emmy hair!). But, hopefully there is still some room for the veteran actor. As Alex Karev, Mr. Chambers was given a rare opportunity for an actor on Grey’s Anatomy: A legitimate character arc. And he nailed it. Or, at the very least, he should get some sort of recognition for having to share all those scenes with Katherine Heigl—spending that many hours with her deserves some kind of medal.

Best Actress, Drama: Leighton Meester, Gossip Girl

The biggest goof of the 2009 Emmy nominating process—besides the fact that Terry O’Quinn didn’t submit himself for Lost—is that the cast of Gossip Girl is competing in the drama categories. Right, because when we think of Gossip Girl, we think of serious business; surely an actor the caliber of Chace Crawford will have no problem scoring a Best Actor nod opposite someone like Hugh Laurie. Still, if there is one person who could believably pull off an upset, it might be Leighton Meester. The actress is tenacity unhinged as Blair Waldorf and continues to be the best part of the show week in and week out. We’d like to see Glenn Close pull off calling someone a “MotherChucker,” with such aplomb.

Best Comedy: Party Down

Come on, everybody. Isn't 30 Rock just so last year? Party Down, from executive producers Rob Thomas and Paul Rudd, showed up on the radar late in the year, with a spring premiere on a network not known for scripted television (Starz), and immediately became one of the best comedies on television. More Ricky Gervias than Steve Carell, the series is comedy of manners and awkwardness the likes of which American television hasn’t seen. While we’d love it if every cast member got singled out—Adam Scott, Ken Marino, Lizzy Caplan, Martin Starr, Ryan Hansen, Jane Lynch, each outstanding—that might be impossible. The best way, then, to honor this series is with a Best Comedy nomination. Here’s one dark horse that we legitimately hope makes it to the starting gate.

It wouldn’t be Grey’s Anatomy without a little Emmy controversy. So when it was announced this week that McDreamy—err, Patrick Dempsey—ostensibly the lead actor on the show, would be entering the less crowded supporting actor category, where he’d battle for a nomination against the likes of Mad Men’s Vincent Kartheiser and the cast of Lost, we weren’t all that surprised. Next thing you know, Katherine Heigl will be hoping for another nomination after being given a story line that was purely done as Emmy catnip. (Oh, wait.) Still, nomination shenanigans aside—Mr. Dempsey isn’t doing anything different than Academy Award Best Actress winner Kate Winslet, who was in The Reader for about 35 minutes—what we’re wondering is why Grey’s Anatomy is competing with Mad Men in the first place.

With television shows now more diffuse than ever, the Emmys seem loath to change their rigid structure; like the medium they celebrate, they’re caught in the middle of an unstable landscape without any sense of how to update themselves. For awards consideration, programs are either called “comedies” or “dramas,” and the actors who work on them get placed inside one of those two bubbles. Obviously, most of the time, this works: 30 Rock is clearly a comedy and Tina Fey will, in theory, get a chance to defend her Emmy win from last year in the Best Actress in a Comedy category; similarly Mad Men will be among the five dramas selected for Best Drama. But for shows like Grey’s Anatomy the genre classing isn’t as clear-cut. There are serious elements to Grey’s, sure (read: we cry a lot while watching), but, more often than not, the show eschews preconceived dramatic conventions—it’s basically like an American Telenovela.

Which brings us to a solution: Create a new category for dramedies! That way the serious funnies can meet on a level playing field without infringing on everyone else. The Academy of Television Arts & Science has already given reality television its own separate plot of land, so why not these ’tween hybrids? The time has come. We can’t be the only ones excited at the possibility of a Blair Waldorf–Izzie Stevens bitch-off showdown come Emmy night.

One of the more successful new shows of the past year, Fringe had found a comfortable home on Tuesday night thanks in part to a gigantic lead-in audience from American Idol and little competition on other networks. Now though, if ABC, CBS and NBC keep their Thursday lineups intact, most viewers won’t even be able to record Fringe on their DVR—assuming it’s already filled up with those other Thursday night shows . Talk about a scheduling conflict! We hope Fringe fans are prepared to watch the show on Hulu.

To give Mr. Reilly some credit, we can at least see the method to this madness. Fact is, CSI is ripe for a takedown and the fresh take Fringe puts on the procedural genre will, in theory, allow it to survive by taking viewers away from sputtering CBS warhorse—CSI's season finale was down 31 percent from last year. But that thinking doesn’t seem to account for the fact that Fringe’s audience skews much younger than CSI's and runs smack into Grey’s Anatomy and The Office/30 Rock. And while Fringe is a solid hit—the first season averaged around nine million viewers per episode—it doesn’t seem like the type of player that can survive against the likes of Grey’s Anatomy, no matter how ridiculous that series gets (see: ghost sex). Lest we forget, the last time Fox took a solidly performing freshman series and moved it to Thursdays to take on CSI and Grey’s, it was The O.C., and that was off the air two seasons later. If Mr. Reilly was looking for a way to get his brother-in-arms, Mr. Silverman, out of the headlines, he’s done so. But not to worry: with NBC set to announce their official fall schedule later today, the diversion shouldn’t last very long.

While thousands of articles have been written about the coming demise of network television and the simultaneous fracturing of the viewing audience, one of the worst epidemics facing television shows in 2009 is a total lack of surprise. Anyone who has visited E! Online or Entertainment Weekly in the last six months knew that Mr. Knight and Ms. Heigl were most likely on their way out of Grey’s. As television audiences become more attuned to searching out entertainment news, the conventional ways that stories are told seem more and more obsolete.

To wit: No matter how many cones of silence are erected around the Grey’s Anatomy writers room this summer, we’ll all know what happens to Izzie and George based on what happens to Ms. Heigl and Mr. Knight—if they return as series regulars for season seven, they’ll live; if they don’t, they’ll die. Talk about letting the air out of the balloon. After J.R. got shot on Dallas, we doubt anyone was scouring websites to see if Larry Hagman was going to hold to his contract for another year.

It’s not just Grey’s Anatomy either. When Elizabeth Mitchell signed on to the pilot of ABC’s sci-fi series V, every Lost fan assumed her character, Juliet, would be the one to die in the season finale. And, lo and behold, as the episode drew to a close, there was Juliet dangling above a deep chasm and falling to her supposed death … only to wake up and heroically detonate a hydrogen bomb, presumably killing her for good. Was this shocking to anyone?

Even on The Office, this problem arises: Amy Ryan, who starred this season in seven episodes as Michael Scott’s true love, Holly, made a “surprise” return to Dunder Mifflin last night. But since Ms. Ryan is busy being a working actress, the episode ended without their blissful reunion. Despite having a truly great season finale, any tension that The Office might have been able to build with regards to Michael and Holly was totally dismissed out-of-hand: Ms. Ryan is never going to be a full-time cast member, so her character’s love affair with Michael could never last.

We realize that maybe everyone isn’t as fluent in these comings and goings as we are, but the fact remains that it has become harder and harder to legitimately surprise the audience. At this point, with Spoiler Culture out of the barn, the question needs to be asked: Should television series’ even attempt to end their seasons on cliffhangers anymore? We guess you’ll just have to tune in next fall to find out. …

Scott Adsit, 30 Rock

We realize Scott Adsit—Pete Hornberger on the NBC series; y’know, the bald guy—is totally BFF with Tina Fey from back in their days at Second City, but this guy is literally stealing money from NBC. Put it this way: Mr. Adsit made a guest appearance on ABC's Life on Mars, which is fine, until you realize he had more lines of dialogue in that one episode than he gets on a monthly basis over on 30 Rock. Not even the underused Jane Krakowski has time to guest star on other networks.

Chace Crawford and Taylor Momsen, Gossip Girl

During the first half of this Gossip Girl season, Chace Crawford would go episodes on end without appearing; during the second half, Taylor Momsen has gone incognito. While in recent weeks they’ve both gotten more to do—Mr. Crawford’s Nate got back together with Blair; Ms. Momsen’s Jenny had a Sweet 16 party—the show seems increasingly less interested in their misadventures. Maybe for season three they can both be put on an installment plan?

Ken Leung, Lost

Lost is the king of wasting series regulars. This season especially; thanks to plotting that could only be described as scattered, almost every actor has gotten short shrift. Even star Matthew Fox has been relatively ignored—he spent a recent episode making sandwiches and taking a shower. (Seriously.) But no one has gotten it worse than Ken Leung. Added to the cast last season, Mr. Leung—best known as the guy who befriended Uncle Junior on The Sopranos—goes weeks at a time without uttering more than a couple of caustic sentences. He’s the T.R. Knight of Lost without any of the messy behind the scenes problems; if you did a shot of whiskey every time Mr. Leung’s Miles spoke, you’d stay relatively sober. And while this week’s episode is being billed as Miles-centric, we wouldn’t get too excited. A rule of thumb for Lost: if a character that hasn’t done much all of a sudden becomes the focal point of an episode, there is a good chance they aren’t long for the series. Mr. Leung’s status as a regular cast member might be stripped by tomorrow night.

Tuesday: There Will Be Blood
On the very short list of the best movies to come out in the past decade, There Will Be Blood is nothing short of a towering achievement.

Monday: Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid
As part of their "31 Days of Oscar," Turner Classic Movies is pulling out all of your dusty old favorites this month. So here's Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, one of those movies where everything clicks into place like a tumbler in a lock. William Goldman's Oscar-winning screenplay is tight and effortless; Robert Redford and Paul Newman do it all with their patented brand of winking charm. We hate saying "they don't make movies like this anymore", but with Butch Cassidy we'll make an exception. [TCM, 8 p.m.]

Tuesday: There Will Be Blood
On the very short list of the best movies to come out in the past decade, There Will Be Blood is nothing short of a towering achievement. The genius of Paul Thomas Anderson is that he manages to take parts of Orson Welles, Terrence Malick, Stanley Kubrick, Robert Altman and Martin Scorsese and blend them all together to create something wholly original. While Quentin Tarantino seems content on making mix-tape movies—highlight reels of his favorite films—Mr. Anderson uses his favorites as a baseline for something greater. If someone can explain to us how There Will Be Blood lost to No Country for Old Men at the Oscars last year, we will be forever grateful. [Showtime, 6:15 p.m.]

Wednesday: Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay
While the sequel to Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle—a shaggy dog mess of social commentary wrapped in gross-out jokes and pot—already feels pretty dated, there is something sublimely hilarious about watching Neil Patrick Harris ride a unicorn and brand a prostitute on her butt with his initials. Yeah, it's that kind of movie. [More Max, 7:20 p.m.]

Thursday: Grey's Anatomy / Private Practice
When we first heard about the Grey's Anatomy/Private Practice crossover, our eyes glazed over; as if watching one of these crappy shows wasn't enough, now we had to watch both? But something completely unexpected happened: the stunt worked! Each one has benefited from the presence of the other, and their twin successes prove unequivocally that the worst decision Shonda Rhimes ever made was spinning Kate Walsh off of Grey's Anatomy and onto Private Practice. Ms. Walsh is a revelation when paired with Patrick Dempsey, Eric Dane and the rest of the Grey's crew—we're talking Emmy-worthy here, people! And if Ms. Rhimes isn't too busy issuing pat denials about the imminent departures of Katherine Heigl and T. R. Knight, she should give serious thought to consolidating her two soap operas back into one show. [ABC, 9 p.m.]

Friday: Late Night with Conan O'Brien
This week marks the final episodes of Late Night with Conan O'Brien—Mr. O'Brien takes over The Tonight Show starting June 1, while Jimmy Fallon starts his stint as Late Night host on March 2nd. Other than a reunion of the White Stripes, there is no word just yet on what Conan is planning for his very last show, but here's hoping we see Triumph the Insult Comic Dog, a return of Andy Richter and, yes, one final glimpse of the Masturbating Bear. [NBC, 12:30 a.m.]

We all know how Ms. Heigl will exit the show--her character Izzie has a brain-tumor-that-isn't-quite-a-brain-tumor. However, what of Mr. Knight? His George has been such a non-factor during this season that if you played a drinking game where you chugged an entire bottle of tequila every time he appeared on screen for more than sixty seconds, you'd be stone cold sober. But since George doesn't have any crazy medical condition, how will Ms. Rhimes find a way to write him off? Here are our suggestions.

George Becomes a Millionaire!

You know what? We kinda like George (and to a lesser extent Mr. Knight) and we wouldn't want to see anything bad happen to him. So why not fabricate a long lost uncle who dies and leaves George millions of dollars. He can travel the world and help people, like Robin Hood in scrubs (or Noah Wyle on ER). Plus, this scenario leaves the door open for his return during sweeps week in 2012.

George Quits!

Wouldn't it be hilarious if George got so frustrated by his lack of respect and action at Seattle Grace hospital that he just up and quit? And then, on the way out, he can blast the Chief for never giving him anything to do other than look at charts? Honestly, this might be too Meta for Ms. Rhimes to handle.

George Goes to Work with... Dr. Burke!

And this might be too ironic. For those of you who aren't Grey's Anatomy cognoscente like us, Isaiah Washington played Dr. Burke. You know Mr. Washington as the gay bashing actor who slurred Mr. Knight and eventually got fired from the show. But! While in real life we doubt that Mr. Knight and Mr. Washington are Facebook friends, on Grey's Anatomy their two characters were total BFFs. Why wouldn't George want to go work for Dr. Burke? We like!

George Gets Trapped in an Avalanche!

Sure, it's ridiculous... but it would also allow us to win $20 dollars. Think about that, Ms. Rhimes!