In comparison to anything other than uber-luxury condos poised to set records when they close for more than $90 million, the Carlton House is pricey indeed. Though anyone who was really hankering for the low end of the luxury market would be well-advised to stay away from Extell projects altogether—only Extell could make $65 million look, well, kind of reasonable.

So what does $65 million buy? For now, the exceedingly deep-pocketed can chose between experiencing the streetlife or the skyline—opting for either the 9,742-square foot duplex penthouse or the 10,000-square foot, five-story townhouse. Bonus points: both are new construction (the penthouse is an addition perched atop the structure that Gary Barnett bought from Helmsley for $164 million back in 2010) so there won't be any awkward accommodations or layouts. Though only the duplex penthouse has two levels of wraparound terraces and a roof deck.

For merely upper-crust buyers, there are 66 other residences with all the hallmarks of co-op living minus the pesky board—paneled entry foyers, marble-floored galleries, en-suite bathrooms and also a number of private terraces. The interiors, done by Katherine Newman design, offer buyers a choice of color palettes: there's "pearl" with bleached oak flooring, white polished marble and exotic light woods, or "mink" with ebonized oak flooring, charcoal limestone, black and white marble and "striking, rich dark cabinetry."

There's also a slew of amenities, including the ones that wealthy Manhattanites have come to expect: uniformed doormen, a fitness center, game room, bike and private storage. And there's a few ultra-fancy ones, too, such as a "dedicated lifestyle consultant to assist residents with reservations, travel and event planning" and a 65-foot heated indoor swimming pool bordered with Indiana cut limestone.

And although sales officially launched today, The Times recently reported that the building, which is slated for completion next summer, is already 40 percent sold. Perhaps Mr. Barnett—who recently told The Times that the $350 million conversion was giving him heartburn—was exaggerating a little for dramatic effect?

Next he gave her six $100 bills and asked her to change them into $20's. After that transaction was completed (and with the 21-year-old teller's mind already probably starting to swim), he decided that he wanted a $600 money order instead. The teller explained that he'd have to pay a $2.50 fee for the service and, furthermore, that the maximum amount the bank was allowed to issue a money order for was $500.

That killed the deal as far as the customer was concerned, so he asked for his money back. The teller returned his six $100 bills; he returned the $600 in $20's that the teller had given him and departed in an unknown direction.

It was only about an hour later that the bank clerk, who'd placed the $20's in a cash box, decided to count them. As it turned out, she was short $460-the thief had absconded with 23 of the $20 bills, leaving just enough money behind to cover his tracks.

No Rest for Hubby

If you're married-or if you co-habit with a significant other in one of modern culture's other various domestic permutations-chances are that you've been kicked out of bed. Literally. Though perhaps not with the extreme prejudice that one Park Avenue resident reported to the police on Dec. 30.

The 49-year-old victim told 19th Precinct detectives that his wife didn't want him to sleep in their bed. Many of our wives don't want us to sleep in their beds, typically after a bout of bad behavior on our part. However, it's rare that they make their displeasure known by scratching us and trying to pull us out of bed, as this husband claims his better half did to him.

Then he says she jumped back into bed to prevent him from doing so. When he tried to sit back on the bed, she delivered several kicks to his chest, causing physical injury.

After being debriefed by the detective squad, the victim-who showed up at the station house with his lawyer-decided not to press charges against his 5-foot-5, 120-pound wife. The matter was referred to family court.

There was apparently no previous history of domestic violence in the marriage. The victim-in words that may resonate with beleaguered husbands everywhere-claims that at the time of the incident, he was merely "trying to get some rest."

Another Silver Raid

The crime spree at Christofle, such as it is, continued on Dec. 28 when an unknown perp absconded with a $7,900 sterling-silver vase. This was the second shoplifting event at the high-end silver merchant, located at 680 Madison Avenue, in the month of December. On Dec. 9, as previously reported in the Crime Blotter, a male dressed in black visited the store, located in the Helmsley Carlton Hotel, and made off with 60 pieces of silver worth $3,960.

There was no surveillance camera at the store-a decision one suspects the management may be revisiting-but the cops hope that the Helmsley Carlton's security cameras, which face the street, may offer a view of the front of the shop, and perhaps even of the criminal fleeing the scene.

Lost in Translation

Have you ever noticed that the Japanese seem to be the most diligent tourists around? While the Italians and the French seem to travel by instinct, as if sensing their destinations like dogs sniffing the air, the Japanese take a more academic approach to the enterprise, relentlessly consulting guidebooks and maps.

That bookish approach proved to be the undoing of one visitor from the Land of the Rising Sun on Dec. 18. The victim, a 57-year-old resident of Suginami-ku, Tokyo, paused on a bench at Lexington Avenue between 67th and 68th streets around noon to consult a map. So profound was her concentration that, as the woman was trying to reorient herself, some crook made off with her pocketbook, which she had placed at her feet. It wasn't until after the tourist had finished poring over her map that she noticed her purse, which contained an $800 gold ring and a $500 digital camera, was missing.

Ralph Gardner can be reached at RGard135@aol.com.

Of Broadway Bookseller

It's always sad to see another independent bookstore go out of business, though not, perhaps, the one the cops shut down at 73rd Street and Broadway on July 3. If you're unfamiliar with the bookstore at that location, that's because the establishment in question was of the sidewalk variety. It was so ambitious and extensive, however, that it was starting to rival Borders or Barnes & Noble, according to the police.

"He had the whole block taken up-literally the whole street," explained Capt. James Murtagh, the 20th Precinct's commanding officer, referring to the prime stretch of real estate from which the bookseller ran his business, stretching from 72nd to 73rd streets on the west side of Broadway. "You couldn't get past. He was blocking the entrance to the bank."

Responding to what Captain Murtagh referred to as "community complaints"-not only that the bookseller was blocking the street, but also that he became "nasty" when passers-by suggested that his entrepreneurial zeal might have gotten out of hand and was starting to present a pedestrian-traffic hazard-officers from the 20th Precinct arrived at the scene at 8:30 p.m.

"The legal book vendor is allowed one table, three feet by eight feet," Captain Murtagh continued. "This guy had tables up to 10 feet long. We went over there, measured them, and for the ones that were oversized-which was all of them-we issued summonses." The vendor's display, which the police confiscated, included 25 folding card tables, 93 milk crates and 153 bags of books.

"He knew the rules," the precinct's commanding officer went on. "Sometimes he'd have friends standing behind the tables to make it look better"-meaning to make it look less like a one-man show and more like a consortium of booksellers. "On the night we were there, he basically told us the other tables were unattended.

"He was extremely upset," the captain added. "His contention was, we're picking on him. He wanted to give up the rest of the book vendors in the precinct."

The captain gave the bookseller's address as a car and van that he parked on 73rd Street between Broadway and West End Avenue. To the guy's credit, while he apparently accumulated parking tickets, he did pay them. "He's not a scofflaw," said the captain, who followed up on the violations.

The vendor did, on one occasion, return to hawk his best-sellers from a single regulation-sized card table. But apparently the thrill was gone. Captain Murtagh reported that he hasn't made another appearance since then, and his car and van have disappeared. Nor has the vendor claimed his confiscated belongings, which are still awaiting him at the city property clerk's office. "He'd get them back, provided he answered his summonses," the captain said.

Flower Picker

Being a florist probably doesn't make the list of the 10 (or even the 100) most dangerous professions-unless, of course, you're a florist in Manhattan. The folks at Jerome Florists, 1379 Madison Avenue, can most likely attest to this distinction.

On June 24, the shop received a repeat visitor-but it wasn't one of the Park Avenue matrons who patronize the establishment. Instead, the caller was a male who'd stolen flowers from a display in front of the shop "numerous times," according to an employee who decided that he wasn't going to take it anymore.

However, when the shopkeeper confronted the suspect-who apparently felt that free flowers were his birthright-the perp became enraged, the florist said, threatening and cursing him. And he didn't stop there: He also picked up a chalkboard and tried to hit the merchant with it. The florist successfully managed to subdue the thief (who was later charged with robbery), but not before he was struck on the left side of his face and received numerous lacerations. He received medical attention at the scene.

Flag Filchers

In these heady, imperialistic times, it should come as no surprise that the thieves who frequent Madison Avenue aren't just after Prada bags and Gucci loafers, but also the Stars and Stripes-not clothes and accessories that incorporate the motif, but the flag itself. At least that's what the unknown crooks who visited the Helmsley Carlton Hotel at 680 Madison Avenue on July 1 were after.

The perps employed a metal barrier as a ladder, according to the police, which they used to filch what was described in subtly poetic terms as "a fully displayed flying large American flag."

One would have thought the thieves might have attracted some attention as they fled with Old Glory-but then again, the incident occurred at 1:30 a.m., when Madison Avenue is rather desolate. The thieves managed to escape in an unknown direction; the flag they took was valued at $60.

Ralph Gardner Jr. can be reached at rgard135@aol.com.