Click through our slideshow for an illustrated tour through Alec's August, or click here for a large image.

Additional research by Jonah Wolf and Toby Wareham. Illustrations by Amy Melson.

Church-goers give Baldwin the evil eye (NBC)

Poor Alec Baldwin! Not only is the recent Vanity Fair cover guy better known for his hot head than for his new, cool marriage to Hilaria Thomas or his role on 30 Rock, but it turns out most of the country refuses to accept Mr. Baldwin as the last word on their lord and savior as well!

Mr. Baldwin, who has an eight-acre spread upstate, often goes to Sunday services at Trinity Parish in East Hampton during the summer. And because he is a celebrity, he is allowed to give sermons from the pulpit. (Is that how Christianity works?)

Except that some uptight parishioners were not so happy with Mr. Baldwin's recent sermonizing, and literally turned their backs on him while he read.

From Page Six:

“Alec loves to be the center of attention and often reads from the pulpit, which really annoys some in the congregation. It is so bad that, one recent Sunday, he went up to read, and part of the congregation stood and rudely turned their backs on him.”

The source said, “Even though he has generously given a lot of money to the town, there are people who just don’t like him. He has a need for attention and shows up at every event. When people go to the church, they don’t want to see the movie star up there.”

That is so rude ... if Mr. Baldwin gave the money to the church from his highly successful show 30 Rock, the least the members could do is show some respect and listen to him!

Besides, who would you rather deliver your Sunday-morning Jesus allegory: some boring priest, or the guy from the Capital One commercials?

Happiness is... coming home to each other... and more square-footage (Patrick McMullen)

Alec Baldwin and and Hilaria Thomas, his yoga instructor bride-to-be, have kept us riveted with their constantly shifting wedding plans (eloping after Cannes! No, a big Hollywood-style wedding in New York on June 30!), but now we finally have proof of their dedication to and love for one another: a real estate deal.

Ms. Thomas has purchased an apartment in Devonshire House that abuts Mr. Baldwin's, The Real Deal reports. She paid $1.2 million to seal the deal on apartment #12C, which was does not have a public listing.

As for Mr. Baldwin, he closed on his three-bedroom Devonshire House apartment in October, paying $11.7 million for a 4,137-square-foot spread that came with an additional 470-square-feet of terrace. The move came shortly after he started dating Ms. Thomas, with their early relationship documented via creepy/lovey-dovey text messages.

Are we to assume that a building permit to combine the two units will enter public records around the same time as the couple's marriage license? Nothing says love like merging one's real estate holdings—although true love would seem to demands both names on the deed.

kvelsey@observer.com

Hilaria Thomas and Alec Baldwin...almost newlyweds! (Getty Images)

Remember how Alec Baldwin was supposed to elope with yoga instructor fiancee Hilaria Thomas after the Cannes Film Festival? Whatever happened with that?

Well, the date may finally be set on the New York ceremony, and  according to new gossip, it sounds less like an elopement and more like a full-blown Hollywood wedding. Oh, that wily Alec.

According to Page Six, Mr. Baldwin and Ms. Thomas have set their date as June 30th:

The couple will tie the knot at the Basilica of St. Patrick’s Old Cathedral on Mulberry Street in NoLIta, a landmarked church built in about 1810...The site has a Hollywood pedigree — it was where Francis Ford Coppola filmed the famous baptism scene in “The Godfather,” in which Al Pacino’s renunciation of Satan was intercut with the massacre of the Corleone family’s enemies.

Martin Scorsese used the church's walled graveyard for a scene in his breakout film, “Mean Streets,” and as a location in “Gangs of New York.”

But any Hollywood comparisons end there. Pope Benedict XVI bestowed basilica status on the historic house of worship in 2010.

That's a lot of history for one street! You'd think that when getting married, one would want to avoid all references to The Godfather and Mean Streets, but then again, we guess it's better than holding the ceremony in the sales office from Glengarry Glen Ross.

Thomas and Baldwin at Cannes.

It’s finally time to break out the fans, air conditioning window units and anything else that helps cool off sweltering New Yorkers. Memorial Day weekend brought some wonderful weather, though not as nice as the view coming in from Cannes. As the film festival closes, we look back on one of our favorite moments: Alec Baldwin’s pre-elopement declaration to fiancé Hilaria Thomas, whom he plans to whisk away once he’s finished screaming at Harvey Weinstein. The anger-management sessions seem to be working, though: it only took one day for the notoriously hot-headed actor and the even more bearish producer to kiss and make up via  handwritten letters of apology.

Unfortunately, British Airways forgot to leave a note for Kim Kardashian when they rifled through her bags during a trip to the French coast the reality star was taking with boyfriend Kanye West. According to Ms. Kardashian, items of “sentimental value” were stolen from her suitcase. We can’t even imagine what the purloined pieces might be, but we’re guessing that at least one of them might be a plaster of paris replica of Ray J—or certain parts of him, anyway. The man who put Ms. Kardashian on the map with a dirty video that went viral only recently recovered, after a perilous hospital stay, from an almost-fatal blood clot.

But if we wanted to talk about Sex Lies and Videotape, we would have gone to see Mexican director Carlos Reygadas’ controversial Post Tenebras Lux, which was greeted by boos from an outraged audience. Apparently no one wants to watch a movie involving animal torture, orgies and demon genitalia these days. Ms. Kardashian’s sex tape? Sure. That? No way. It’s just too hot—in both senses.

Alec Baldwin and fiancee Hilaria Thomas (Getty Images)

While Jessica Paré made us swoon as Don Draper's young wife from up North--bringing her own style to the French classic(?) "Zou Bisou Bisou" in the premiere of the 5th season of Mad Men-- not all Canadian residents are so enticing. At least not for long: Alec Baldwin's wine-and-dining of Quebec native Genevieve Sabourin in 2011 ended in a case of le canard déchaîné  when the wannabe actress was arrested for stalking the 30 Rock star outside his apartment Sunday night. The news of  his engagement to 28-year-old yoga instructor Hilaria Thomas allegedly sent the spurned Canuck into a tailspin, according to sources.

Ms. Sabourin was released without bail last night on the condition of a temporary restraining order for Mr. Baldwin. While the 54-year-old actor admitted in the criminal suit filed that he took the blonde actress out twice--ostensibly to help the PR agent he met on the set of Pluto Nash  out with her acting career--there's no mention in the case of any sexual relationship. A source told The New York Post that Mr. Baldwin denied that there was any physical relationship between the two, while Ms. Sabourin's rambling texts to the actor tell a different story.

"I need to start my new life, with my new name, with my new carrier in my new country help my newly (sic) husband, you!" Reads an April 4th message sent to the silver-haired actor by his uber-fan.

Later that day (according to the messages obtained by The Post), Ms. Sabourin wrote "I need you now, please Alec come and pick me up now. I am less than 10 min away from you tonight. Say I do to me."

Ms. Sabourin apparently stalked Mr. Baldwin from his Hamptons' estate to Lincoln Center (where he had her ejected after spotting her in the audience during a Q&A he hosted for Last Tango in Paris) to his East 10th St. apartment...all in the span of 10 days.

While none of the alleged stalker's messages explicitly state that the two were physically intimate, it's obvious that she thought she was going to get a Green Card--and a new last name--even with Ms. Thomas in the picture.

What we want to know is why Ms. Sabourin would be so desperate to marry Mr. Baldwin. Sure, he's a hunk, but hasn't she heard of Kim Basinger?

Baldwin and Thomas.

It was a quintessentially March evening. Though the sun was shining bright, the breeze added enough of a chilling twinge that guests shivered as they checked their coats at Avery Fisher Hall. The troupe was gathering for the New York Philharmonic’s spring gala, and given the ambiguous weather, their outfits bespoke the seasonal purgatory.

Some donned bright patterned frocks, deciding to ring in the season with open, if goose-bumped, arms, while assorted grand-dames entered in full fur coats. Half of the gentlemen had dusted off their Easter ties, but the rest chose more subdued neckwear hues. Overall, the group’s collective attire oscillated undecidedly somewhere on the spectrum between lion and lamb.

The Observer walked up the stairs toward cocktail hour directly behind a bronzed and conspicuously trim Alec Baldwin, and his yogi belle, Hilaria Thomas. Where had they been basking, we asked. “We went to Florida for the weekend. It was unusual, because I’m not much of a Florida person,” Mr. Baldwin said. “We had three days, or two and a half days …” he began. “Of paradise!” Ms. Thomas interjected, finishing his sentence with an adoring, eyelash-fluttering gaze.

“We would exercise in the morning and then lay by the pool all day,” Mr. Baldwin admitted. “And then exercise at night,” Ms. Thomas added. The Observer blushed. “Yeah, we had a lot of exercise.”

Spring, it seems, will be a busy season for Mr. Baldwin and Ms. Thomas. “We have a lot of crazy travel,” he said, listing trips to Rome, and of course Cannes, which he pronounced with that added syllabic affectation on the “a.” “A partner and I—the film director Jimmy Toback—he and I are going to shoot a film at Cannes, about Cannes.” How meta! “It is somewhat meta,” Mr. Baldwin agreed.

A friend approached. “You look great! You’re like Dirk Bogarde. I mean that as a compliment,” Mr. Baldwin said, clarifying for good measure.

Not everyone in the room shared Mr. Baldwin’s escapist tendencies, however. Karen LeFrak, wearing a daffodil-yellow Carolina Herrera cocktail dress, said that she is looking forward to spending time cityside this spring. “It’s just beautiful! We’re so lucky,” she said, describing New York in full bloom. Social outings will take a backseat to grandmotherly duties this season, she explained. Ms. LeFrak intends to spend her time “not out and about, just playing with my grandson. Seeing the world all over through his eyes is pretty special,” she gushed, with a proud twinkle in her own eye.

We were briefly introduced to Jo Loesser, the widow of legendary show-tunesman Frank Loesser. The evening’s concert would honor her late husband’s vast repertoire, with selections from his most ubiquitous hits (“Baby, It’s Cold Outside,” and “Luck Be a Lady” not the least among them), not to mention his lesser-known numbers. “I hope dinner is good,” Ms. Loesser said with characteristic pluck (combined with a healthy dose of irreverence). “Because I know the concert will be good.”

Soon, attendants were ringing preshow bells, gently shepherding guests into the concert hall. The philharmonic proceeded to accompany a series of cross-generational hits, familiar to older guests as original Broadway shows, better known to others as songs sung on Glee. The audience cheered as Mad Men star Robert Morse took the stage, reprising the role of J. Pierrepont Finch, for which he won a Tony in 1962.

The songs, which constitute a significant portion of Broadway’s classic canon, were beautifully nostalgic, gently evoking the heyday of the Great White Way. Full of innuendo and postwar chauvinism (“A lady doesn’t wander all over the room, and blow on some other guy’s dice,”), Mr. Loesser’s wit and clever subversion crossed beyond the fourth wall and through that most troublesome diaphane, time.

Ms. Loesser herself took the stage, singing “Spring Will Be a Little Late This Year,” to the crowd’s delight.
After the show, gala attendees found their seats on the Grand Promenade while concertgoers filed out.

Searching for our table, we ran into Liz Peek, who raved about the concert. “I thought it was charming and good fun,” she offered, wrapping her shawl tightly around her, the leonine aspect of March having seemingly prevailed after sunset. Like Mr. Baldwin, Ms. Peek had recently returned from the Sunshine State, and was dismayed by the cold snap in New York.

“We kind of expected to come back to 80 degrees, so this is a little disappointing,” she confessed. “We’re going to go back down to Florida again, but I hope by then we won’t really need to go to Florida.” In the meantime, Ms. Peek has serious horticultural concerns. “I’m actually quite worried about my garden, because I hear they’re expecting quite a freeze out in the country, the suburbs.”

Settling at our table, The Observer found ourselves seated in between Ms. Loesser and her son-in-law, actor and director Don Stephenson. Ms. Loesser’s daughter, Emily Loesser, was seated across the table with their two young daughters, Fiona and Hallie.

“I didn’t know Granny could sing like that!” Fiona exclaimed gleefully as she picked at the “Bushel and a Peck” first course.

Indeed, when Ms. Loesser took her seat, the table erupted in praise. Asked if she was nervous before her performance, Ms. Loesser laughed. “I couldn’t stop my leg shaking backstage, but then I thought, ‘Are you going to make an ass of yourself or are you going to get it over with?’”

“I need a drink!” she soon whispered in our ear. “I have to see my psychiatrist tomorrow, but that’s not until 11:15!” Obligingly rising from her seat when gestured to another table, Ms. Loesser leaned in our direction once more. “Oh, shit. I have to go over there, but I really don’t want to.”

Soon, Mr. Baldwin appeared at our table. “I’ll be your agent,” he offered to Ms. Loesser’s granddaughters, much to their delight. Fiona, however, soon looked at her father. “Daddy, what’s an agent?” she asked.

Guests began to file out, kissing and congratulating Ms. Loesser on the performance. Ted Sperling, the evening’s conductor, offered some final thoughts on Loesser’s continuing legacy.

“I think Frank Loesser is a great candidate to be appealing to young people, because his music is so of the people. Somebody said he just knows how to set ordinary speech to music. He’s not highfalutin or fancy, it’s just straight forward and gritty and personal and New York-y.”

As three generations of New Yorkers walked out into the below-freezing temperatures, many were left wondering whether spring would be a little late this year after all.
editorial@observer.com

Hilaria Thomas and Alec Baldwin (Photo from Patrick McMullan)

Jack Donaghy is known for his business acumen, from his dedication to Six Sigma to his intimate knowledge of even the smallest subsidiaries of the Sheinhardt Wig Company empire. Alec Baldwin, it appears, knows his way around the negotiating table, as well. The actor scooped up a place at The Devonshire at the end of the summer, but city records show he saved almost a million on the property. Although initial reports claimed he bought the place for $12.5 million, the deed reveals he paid just $11.7 million for the new pad.

The actor, who recently vacated his 3,000-square-foot place at 300 Central Park West, has upgraded with his most recent purchase. Floor plans show that the actor's new duplex spans a full 4,137 square feet, with an additional 470-square-feet on the terrace.

The place is almost as big as 30 Rock itself. The lower level features three bedrooms with three accompanying baths. A breakfast room flanks the open kitchen, which leads into a 392-suare-foot living room. A gargantuan master suite encompasses an entire wing and includes four walk-in-closets, a dressing room and an adjacent study.

We wonder what Mr. Baldwin's new friends at Zuccotti park would say about his new bedroom! According to the detailed floor plan, the master bath features a "custom vanity with Calcatta vision marble tops," and a double sink. So there will be enough room for the toothbrush of Mr. Baldwin's new girlfriend, yoga instructor Hilaria Thomas.

Ms. Thomas will have room aplenty to practice her child's pose on the duplex's upper level. Consisting of a 631-square foot great room, a bathroom and two terraces, the space is as flexible as Ms. Thomas herself.

Hey Occupy Wall Street! Party at Alec's place! At least hit him up for a hot shower—he can't possibly use all four and a half bathrooms himself!

eknutsen@observer.com

Always Be Kissing

Alec Baldwin has a lot of good things going for him-- he's a great actor, the most successful sibling out of four brothers, and will one day be mayor of us all. But the one black mark on Baldwin's card is his home life: his bitter divorce from Kim Basinger in 2002, the tabloids documenting his rocky relationship with his daughter, the subsequent custody battles that inspired him to write  A Promise to Ourselves: A Journey Through Fatherhood and Divorce. Baldwin's 30 Rock alter-ego has a less abrasive track record with women...and Jack Donaghy dated Condoleezza Rice.

So when Alec Baldwin told "Late Show" audiences last month that he had a girlfriend named Hilaria Thomas, we were happy for him. She's a yoga instructor! She doesn't own a TV! She doesn't eat meat! She's your dream stepmom, really.

The two are very much in love, which you can tell because of their constant tweeting at each other, including pics of the actor holding puppies, putting his feet in the sand, and playing baseball. Still, you'd think that a guy who had his dirty laundry aired in public before would be more reticent to put personal love notes on a public forum like Twitter. Especially because some of these exchanges are little personal.

1. He's a workplace stalker:

hilariathomas: @DiscipleOfTodd @alecbaldwin where did you go? Come to Vida! Alec, stop scaring away the students from my class!

2. Baldwin knows Spanish, but not anatomy:

alecbaldwin: Played tennis for the first time this Summer. My spine came out of my ass.

hilariathomas: @AlecBaldwin "pelvis" corazón mío.... Not "ass"... "pelvis"

3. Either the sex is amazing or dinner sucks:

hilariathomas: olives, wine, coffee and honey... You take care of me like no one else

4. No, it's definitely the sex:

@hilariathomas: @AlecBaldwin @discipleoftodd "savasana" means "corpse pose", my love. How about Warrior 3?

5. We thought Hilaria was Spanish?:

AlecBaldwin: @DiscipleOfTodd: @AlecBaldwin what's the most fun sin..” Tweeting in the nude. While eating corned beef. With Russian.

Of course, the weirdest part of this Twitter romance is the inclusion of @DiscipleOfTodd in nearly all of Baldwin/Thomas' exchanges. Who is this mysterious Twitter friend, who only has 292 followers and goes by the pseudonym Harry Longabaugh. Could Baldwin be participating in a digital menage-a-trois with The Sundance Kid?